I couldn't place the sounds around me. It echoed in one ear and went straight out the other. The voices were merely background noise. I was wet, I could feel water dripping down my fingertips. My body stung. First just in the pit of my stomach but then it radiated throughout my entire body. Suddenly I was aware of everything that was going on. My eyes adjusted, a man was hovering over me, his lips moving.
"Careful buddy, just lie still." He told me.
"Where am I?" I asked, but it came out muffled. There was a mask over my mouth.
"You were in a surfing accident, we're on our way to the hospital. You're going to be okay." He reassured me. I was in an ambulance. "What's your name son?"
"Rowan Taylors." I said as pain shot through me. The paramedic held me down.
"I'm Denis." He nodded. "And how old are you?"
"I'm seventeen." I muttered. I felt cold, I was shivering.
"The doctors are going to take good care of you." The ambulance stopped and the doors opened.
"What do you have?" It was a new voice, the voice of a woman.
"Rowan Taylors, seventeen, no ID. He was in a surfing accident. He has a large wound to the abdomen. His vitals are one hundred over seventy, pulse one-eighteen and respirations twenty eight. He gained consciousness in the field."
My eyes were glued on the sky, but then the sky turned into lights hanging from the ceiling.
"Clear trama four. Page Doctor Ainsworth." Everyone rushed around me. There were three doctors, all with their hands on me.
"I'm going to need you to lie very still, I need to cut off your wetsuit to get a better look at the wound." I was confused, all that seemed to register was that she was going to cut my wetsuit. It was my favorite one.
"What?" I shook my head.
"Lie still." She repeated.
With each cut I got weaker. Black spots clouded my vision.
"Dammit, I need lap pads." I had a weird feeling in my stomach, I could feel hands. "Intubate him and call the OR. His stats are falling. Stay with me..."
--
My throat burned, my head hurt and my stomach ached. I tried to swallow, to breathe but I couldn't. There was something in the way. I reached up and felt a tube. I felt like I was choking.
"Rowan..." I heard a familiar voice. "Nurse! Can I get some help in here?" My eyes adjusted, my Mom was standing over me.
"Mom..." I tried to say, but it came out as a muffled groan as a nurse came to my side.
"Rowan, you're in the hospital. You have a tube down your throat to help you breathe but I don't think you need it anymore so I'm going to take it out, alright?" She said softly, her voice was comforting. "I'm going to count to three and then I'm going to get you to cough. It'll help us both out. Mom, why don't you hold his hand." She turned to my Mom and nodded. My Mom took my hand. "You're going to feel a little discomfort... One, two three..."
I coughed and watched as she pulled the tube from my throat. I gagged and I was shaking.
"There, all done. You're going to be a little raw for a few days though." She squeezed my shoulder. "Are you in any pain?" She asked and I nodded. "Alright I'm going to give you another dose of morphine. If you need anything else, don't be afraid to press the red button on the wall." She pointed to the red button to my left and walked over to what my IV was connected to. "You should start to feel that soon." She walked from the room and I ran my hand across my neck.
"What happened?" I asked but it came out as a whisper.
"You were in an accident, don't you remember?" She looked down at me, concerned. The memories came flooding back. The rocks, the pain and the water. I nodded, I remembered.
A balloon in the corner of the room caught my attention and then a bouquet of flowers. "People have really been worried about you." She forced a smile. "Lennon's been asking about you."
My heart leaped. "Really?"
"Lachlan's been giving her updates. You should text her, let her know you're okay." My Mom suggested and placed my phone on the table beside the bed.
"Uh- yeah. Okay." I nodded. "Where's Lachlan?" I knew he'd use any excuse he could to get out of school.
"He's down in the cafeteria, with your uncle." She pulled out her phone. "I should give them a call, let them know you're awake. I'll be right back." She leaned down and kissed my forehead. "They said you should rest, so try and get some sleep."
I picked up my phone and thought about what to say to her.
To Lennon:
Hey, it's Rowan. Thanks for asking about me, just wanted to let you know that I'm okay.
I hit send. I put my head back on the pillow, staring down at my phone. My eyes were heavy. I fell asleep before I got a reply with my phone still in hand.
Three Days Post Op
Mom and Lachlan both had different ways of passing the time while being with me in the hospital. Lachlan was either playing a zombie shooting game on his iPad with both headphones in, or taking complete control over the television. The game was almost as cool as the first time he saw my stitches. Mom on the other hand had an assortment of romance books she "typically doesn't have time to read because of two demanding songs", her words exactly. The hospital was boring.
I checked my phone. There were no new texts from Lennon, just the one where she answered me, saying, I'm glad you're okay. I wanted to say more, tell her how sorry I was, but I convinced myself that if she wasn't texting me then she still needed her space and I was going to give her that. It was the least I could do.
"Time to get you up and moving." Vanessa had been my nurse for the last three days. She changed my dressing, brought me food and most embarrassingly of all, had to help me to the bathroom and back to the bed. It was an understatement to say I'd hardly moved, but I wasn't about to admit it.
"I do move." I muttered and my Mom rolled her eyes at me.
"Yeah, to the bathroom and back." She laughed but I just frowned. "Rowan..." She warned.
"Mom..." I copied.
"I don't want you to strain yourself and burst your stitches open, but we need to get those muscles moving." Vanessa moved a bar over my head so I could hoist myself up.
"Lachlan help your brother." Mom urged him but he didn't look up from his iPad. Sometimes it was like she didn't understand the concept of headphones.
"He has headphones in." I laughed, which only made my stomach hurt. She walked over to him and pulled out one earphone.
"Help your brother." This time he rolled his eyes.
"Where do you want me?" He sighed, standing up.
"Why don't you go on his right." Vanessa instructed and went to whisper in his ear. "So you can catch him when he falls." I heard her loud and clear, but I could tell she was joking. She winked at him.
"You better not squish me." Lachlan laughed.
I put my hand on his shoulder. "It will be in both of our best interests if I don't squish you. One, so I don't kill you and two, so Mom doesn't kill me."
"Look he still has his sense of humor." Lachlan said sarcastically.
"Boys..." Mom warned, sending our attention back to Vanessa.
"Now Rowan, I don't want you to use your stomach muscles, use your legs and let Lachlan pick up the slack." She explained. "Do you need me to stay?"
"No we got this." Lachlan answered for me. "It's like in the Santa Claus is Coming to Town movie, you just have to put one foot in front of the other." He joked.
"Okay." She held her hands up in surrender.
I stood as he pulled and we both went tumbling to the ground.
"Nope we don't got this." He laughed as I groaned in pain.
Five Days Post Op
I was finally up walking on my own and although nobody had to come with me, I was still enduring Lachlan's company. He was milking my injury more than I was, claiming to fear what would happen if he left my side and giving Mom his famous puppy dog eyes. It really was a testament to how much he didn't like school, because he'd rather hang out with me instead and that was saying something. We didn't hate each other, but we weren't really close.
Lachlan and I had already done two laps around the floor and now we were onto our third.
My Mom couldn't take anymore time off work, so she was back at her office having me text her updates every hour, but I didn't mind. I think that my accident really scared her, but if I was her, I'd be scared too. She lost her husband, she didn't need to lose a son too.
I shook that thought out of my head and they drifted to Lennon. I was playing the waiting game, just waiting for her to give into me.
"You're really boring." Lachlan complained. "Why aren't you talking?"
"Because I'm thinking..." I huffed, annoyed.
"Can't you multitask?"
I ignored him and kept walking. I was breathing heavily, trudging through the pain. There was incentive though, I had to get away from Lachlan before we killed each other. Five days with him was more than enough.
"Rowan..." I heard a familiar voice say my name and my eyes drifted up to meet Lennon's.
"Lennon..." I muttered, walking towards her. She threw herself into my arms and I grunted, stumbling, but I quickly caught my balance and returned the hug.
"Oh shoot, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"No, no, it's okay." I cut her off. "I'm okay." I smiled, to show her I was telling the truth.
"I'll give you two..." Lachlan muttered and backed away. "Yeah..."
I was caught up in her eyes. I didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry." We both blurted.
"No I'm sorry, I never should've betrayed your privacy. You were right, I should've turned it into the lost and found." I went first, because it was all my fault. "I had no place to read it."
"You don't have to apologize, I'm the sorry one, I should never have said those things to you. You are not... Him... and I'm sorry I compared you to him." She gulped and looked down at her feet.
"Lennon..."
"No, no, I was wrong. You are not the bad guy, he is." She admitted and I watched her hands fiddle with the hem of her baggy yellow sweatshirt.
"Lennon who is he?" I asked boldly.
"No." She said firmly. "No..." She turned away from me and began to walk away.
"Shit... Wait! Wait, I'm sorry!" I ran to catch up with her, feeling my stomach ache as I pulled the stitches. "I won't ask again. Promise."
She stopped and I saw her shoulders relax.
"I'm not ready..."
"Okay, that's fine, but I'm here if you need to talk." I sighed and she nodded.
I leaned back against the wall. My knees were shaking. "Rowan?" She noticed.
"Do you mind if we go back to the room?" I pointed to my hospital room, just down the hall.
"No, course not. You okay?" She asked concerned and took my arm, letting me lean on her as we walked.
"Yeah, just need to sit down."
She was warm and she smelled like vanilla and strawberries. I sat down on the bed and took a deep breathe. My entire body relaxed knowing I didn't have to take another step.
"You can sit if you want." I suggested, tapping the spot on the bed beside me. She sat down. "How is everything?" I asked.
"It's okay, my sister and I aren't really getting along right now." She sighed. "What about you?"
"Well I impaled myself with a rock so, that's how my life is going." I laughed, trying to lighten the mood, but her face only fell. "I'm okay now."
"That sounds so gross." She shook her head at me. "I'm picturing guts everywhere."
"Oh so you care about my guts just not me." I joked, touching her shoulder with mine.
"Yes." She said very seriously. "It's what's on the inside that counts."
I smiled. "I agree."
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