I noticed my journal on Rowan's bedside table, the swirl design on the cover was like a flashing sign. Why did Rowan have my journal? Oh my god if he has my journal that means he probably read it. "Is that my journal?!" I asked him freaking out.
He looked over at the journal and then back at me. "Lennon I'm sorry it's not what you think." He defended himself.
I shook my head. No this couldn't be happening. "How much did you read?" I asked my voice shaky and my heart in my stomach. Please let it just be a paragraph or a page.
His look was all I needed to know that my initial thought was wrong, he read the whole thing. I felt completely sick.
"Rowan you read the whole thing?" I asked looking for confirmation. He nodded his head and lifted the journal up off of the table.
"I believe this belongs to you Lennon." He said handing over the journal.
The journal felt so foreign in my hands. I almost forgot the little bump of the corner that tore when my neighbors dog snatched it the day I bought it.
At first all I felt was sadness. I couldn't believe that all this time he had my journal. After that feeling went away rage set in. "You had it for one month! Why didn't you give it to the office or just leave it where it was at?! Why did you read it!" I yelled my hands doing all kinds of crazy movements. "Oh god why did you have to read it?!" I was so angry that I felt tears starting to stroll down my face.
God damn it. I'm angry I don't want to cry now. Not in front of him. You might as well he already knows everything, a voice in my head spoke.
"Lennon, listen, I'm sorry. I wish I could say that if I knew it was yours I wouldn't read it but that would be a lie. If I hadn't read it, no one would ever know what happened to you." He reached out to comfort me but I moved back.
"How could you read someone's personal private thoughts. How could you? How could you destroy my trust." I snapped.
"You left it on the bus. Wouldn't you rather it be me that found it than someone else?" He asked looking hurt.
I shook my head and flipped to the first page. I showed him the page and pointed. "When you saw this you should have stopped reading right away. What kind of person continues reading after they see that?" He looked at the page reading the words I WAS RAPED.
I slammed the journal shut and shoved it into my bag. "A person who cares Lennon. A person who wanted, so badly, to find the person who owned it, to help, because this isn't a burden anyone should carry alone. Lennon I want to help you. I may not have known it was you in the beginning, but I want to help."
"I never asked for your help." I cried and walked out of his room leaving him by himself in his room. I ran down the steps taking two at a time trying to get away as fast as I could. All those words he said were lies. He was just as bad as him.
Once I was outside Rowan's house I stopped for a moment trying to think of where I could go. I didn't want to go home and I couldn't stay here. I sat there on the curb trying to figure out my next move. I had no friends to go to for the night and there was no way I was going to be able to handle Raven's drama. I decided to take the long way home and walk a different way. It wasn't really dark, with the street lights above the sidewalk it made me feel a little bit safer.
At this point I didn't care if someone murdered me on the side of the road. Actually, I would have paid them to do it. What more did I have to live for? My deepest darkest secret had been read in full detail by a guy I thought might have actually liked me. There was no way he'd like me now, knowing that I was damaged goods.
The walk home was filled with tears, lots and lots of tears. I wanted to get it all out of my system before I got home. I didn't want to face mom and dad being in that state.
The neighborhood around my house was a calm one. Break ins were unheard of and parties were kept to a minimum. I felt more anxious as I got closer to the front door. It was a little before ten, I was right on time.
Mom and Dad were in their room, their TV light shining into the hallway. "Lennon! Is that you?" Mom yelled. I walked to their room and stuck my head in the doorway.
"Yeah mom, I'm home." I sighed, this was the last place I wanted to be.
She got out of bed and walked over to me "How was Rowan?" She asked, her nightgown brushing against her fingertips.
"He's fine." I said, not really wanting to answer the question. I didn't want to see him ever again. Knowing that he knew everything made me paranoid all over again. What if he told everyone at school that I was some psycho depressed girl who was raped? They would stick me in the psych ward.
She noticed my red eyes and asked, "What about you? Are you okay, honey?" She rubbed my arm. I nodded my head.
"Yeah mom. I'm okay. I just need to get some sleep. It's been a long night." I yawned.
I gave her a hug goodnight and said a quick goodnight to dad before going to my room to get ready for bed. I changed into my pajamas and got in bed shutting off my bedside lamp. I grabbed my phone that was laying beside me and went to my contacts, scrolling down till I found Rowan.
I pressed down and held my thumb on his contact. A little trash can popped up in the top corner. My thumb hovered over it and then I touched it. A warning box flashed across the screen saying it would delete all linked contacts and if that was okay. I thought for a moment, but nodded.
"Goodbye Rowan."
I pressed okay.
Hi guys we actually got a chapter done despite school.We hope you guys liked this chapter. Let us know what you thought.
What was your impression at the being of the chapter and the end? What do you think will happen next? How are you feeling about this book? What about what Lennon did?