"YN," Sangwoo susurrates into the tender skin of your neck.
His large flat hands roam your scarred back, his fingertips grazing the scars absentmindedly. Your legs are on either side of his hips, his erection struggling against his zipper poking your belly. He cradles you back in his arms to get a nipple into his mouth. You throw your head back with a moan you silence by biting down on your lip. You catch Bum with the corner of your eye. His vision is glued to his lap and his black bangs hide his face away from you.
You try to communicate with him in silence while you push the back of Sangwoo's head urging him to continue playing with your breasts.
"So good," you inhale and the sound of you enjoying immediately grabs Bum's attention.
Sangwoo cups your naked ass grinding you over the bulge of his pants. 'It's okay' you mouth while Sangwoo rakes kisses up your neck, his tongue flicking over scars. He loves every inch of your deformed skin. He takes your lips in a ferocious kiss. He nips your tongue and forces you into his embrace and gently places you on the carpeted floor. He is aroused and his breathing is heavy. His eyes are narrowed in ecstasy as he stands and removes his clothes.
He glances at Bum when he hears a loud sniffle. He sucks his teeth, "Stop crying or I'll put you in the closet."
Once he is naked and his clothes tossed with yours, he squats in front of Bum and undoes his ties. He is careful with his thin wrists and ankles.
"Be good, yeah?" He says, placing a kiss on the top of his head. "You want to see, YN, don't you?" He glances at you, not seeing the way he nods. Your knees are up and the way they are positioned covers between your legs.
"Spread your thighs," he commands.
You do as told without hesitation. His father had trained you well for moments like these. Any wrong move from you earned you a slap or hard pull of your hair. You learned to separate your mind from your actions with ease and you even found a way to enjoy it. All you want is for Bum to stop crying.
Their eyes are glued to the piece of flesh between your legs, but you don't feel any shame. Sangwoo's eyes have gone darker and he shakes his head with his words, "I can't believe a scrawny thing like you had this all to yourself. Do you realize how envious of you I was?" He doesn't look at him but continues searing you with his gaze. His cock aching to the point of pain. "Come here, YN. I want Bum to see how I pleasure you."
You crawl towards them as he silently pulls Bum's legs from under him causing him to hit himself at the back of the head with the headboard. He guides you between Bum's legs and forces him to cradle your head. He looks down at you. Your eyes are rimmed red, your eyes are dulled like the spark of a candle that will soon go off. His tears fall on your face and roll down your cheek as if they were yours. You know he cries because he knows that you don't want this. He cries because he will never share those passionate nights with you again.
There is still a chance to make things right. You can kill him or kill the woman trying to survive inside you...
You smile tentatively while Sangwoo Jr. spreads your thighs and lowers between them in an act of dominance. Your lips part in a sharp inhale when he cups your hips and takes you into his mouth with a masculine hiss. Bum watches your eyes squint, your arms flailed over your carved tummy.
"She's gorgeous when she moans, isn't she?" Sangwoo asks, rising his chin from between your folds. He wants Bum to feel the jealousy he always felt and hid when he was with you.
He licks his lips and spreads you with his fingers. Your nether lips glisten in their wetness and he can't keep himself from slipping two fingers inside your wet core. Your body is so responsive! You arch slightly as he pumps into you. The movements making you brush against Bum's own erection. Sangwoo deeply enjoys the pleasure he gives you. He wishes that you would enjoy it too, but you would learn. A third finger and his tongue holding that pressure on your clit make you cry out, you cum reaching back to take hold of Bum's upper arms.
Your heartbeat thumps in your ears. You don't get a chance to feel guilty when Sangwoo yanks your arms away from him and pulls you into a sitting position. He kisses you, making sure you can taste yourself on his tongue. He is ready to penetrate you when Bum's voice intercepts.
"Please...please let me join."
Please let me touch her.
Both are caught by surprise by his trembling question. Sangwoo hugs you tight against his rigid body, his chin on your shoulder. You feel like a rag doll in his embrace, but the way he rakes his fingers through your long hair is gentle. He thinks about it carefully and pushes you back just enough to kiss your cheek before going to Bum.
You swiftly turn, afraid that he will strike him, but he doesn't. Instead, he cups the side of his wet face and his fingers skirt around his gentle jaw. How many time would Sangwoo, his father, relish in the pain he brought? In the fear? In Sangwoo's mind, all he was doing was punishing you both. Giving you a taste of what he believed was betrayal. This was the first time that that thought came to your mind. Sangwoo Jr didn't relish in pain just for the sake of it even though he enjoyed it immensely.
You are so lost in thought that the moment you return to reality, attempting to make sense of what is happening, Sangwoo is kissing Bum on the mouth and circling Bum's long skinny fingers around his erection. Bum is reluctant and he glances at you afraid that you will get angry. You both are married after all. You give him a terse nod and he starts to stroke him lightly. Bum is taken aback by the gentleness that Sangwoo shows him as his hands gently squeeze and caress his back. So gentle, when he had been cruel just hours ago.
Bum looks tiny next to his massive frame when Sangwoo guides him up to his knees by the shoulders. You watch those sturdy fingers enter his mouth and return once they are moist, delicately probing his entrance, circling the tight ring of muscle. Bum's erection jolts against his belly when Sangwoo eases him over his lap.
Sangwoo leans back on the headboard.
"Stick it in, Bum," he says. He looks up at his shy face that is sweaty and red. Bum grabs the throbbing cock and positions it in his entrance. Sangwoo has his ass cheeks spread with both hands, squeezing hard, enjoying the round and thick of his bottom. When Bum eases it inside him, he can't stop the long groan that escapes his throat in a raspy cry. He sits on to Sangwoo cock until he is buried to the hilt. Sangwoo screws his eyes shut as the muscles clamp welcomingly. Eating you out had made him so hot that he was sure he would shoot into Bum's tight ass in any second. He doesn't want it over so soon. He doesn't want to cum without you.
"Fuck...stop moving," Sangwoo says hoarsely holding Bum's hips steady and pushing himself off the floor with Bum still impaled on him. Your skinny Bum clings to his neck as he goes up the bed.
He doesn't say anything to you, but you stand and follow behind him. When he drops back on the bed, his black maned head is on your pillow. Your heart jumps when you realize that the pillow under it has your knife inconspicuously hidden between the slit of the pillow case. You know he won't feel it. He is too horny for that. Your heart begins thumping hard in your chest, that all of a sudden the air becomes constricting.
Bum rides him slowly, rotating his hips with delicate movements as he accommodates to his size. He is still in slight pain after the fuck from earlier. Although Bum's body is enjoying the attention, he is too logical to enjoy this fully. He can't when you are hurting.
"YN...my face. Sit on my face," Sangwoo says with a raspy exhale.
You take hold of his extended hand that guides you over his body. You wonder how much force and speed you would need to lunge for the knife in the pillow. How quickly would it take you to take it out of the pillow case? The moment is not now. You accommodate on his face, the tip of his straight nose flicking your clit. You want to hold the edge of the headboard, but he stops you.
"No," he says between your thighs. "I want you to face Bum."
You shift and meet eyes with Bum who takes his cock the way you had taught him to take yours. You position your thighs on either side of his head and his hands sit you down on his open mouth. His tongue hungrily sucks and nips. You clench your teeth as the wet muscle swirls over that sensitive nub and suckles your inner lips into his mouth. With his actions he wanted to please, he wanted you to know that he could give you this pleasure if you would accept him. He wanted your juices to coat his face.
His groans fall deaf between your folds. Bum jerks on Sangwoo's hips as he bucks under him. His expression almost looks pained, his moans forced out of him. He reaches his hand towards you and supporting yourself with one hand on Sangwoo abs, you take hold of his hand. Your fingers link. You guide each other's movements and it brings memories of the first time you both touched each other. The first time you both met.
With the memories, your coiling pleasure builds as Sangwoo stills your hips and focuses on that one little spot that winds your orgasm closer. He knew instinctively where to touch, where to grab, and that gave him power. A power that not even his father had...
As if planned you and Bum cum together, your fingers locked, your faces pointed up towards the ceiling. In that one moment, as the tremors shake your body and he buries himself deeper into you, you feel at peace. Bum gushes all over your face, all over his, and it even falls on Sangwoo's tight stomach. Sangwoo follows suit soon after, holding you tight, his fingers digging where your thighs meet your hips. His growl vibrates on your sensitive skin.
****
Junior loves when the three of you play. He feels like you guys are actually bonding. Playing together reminded him of the time he would ask you to play with him and Bum. With every ravenous orgasm, his anger dissipates and that rage buried in his tummy seems to ease too. This is what it felt like to be surrounded by the warmth of the two people he loved...
His seed covers your like a veil as your eyes close without your control. You are sleepy, but most of all you are tired of fighting. Tired of surviving. You are just so tired.
****
You wake up from your light sleep in the middle of the night and hear the even breathing of your son. You raise your arm to find that your wrist is tied with his with a shoestring. You panic, but find Bum resting on the others side of his body. His ankle is tied to his by rope.
"YN," Sangwoo whispers in his sleep and holds you close with his free arm. His shifts until his face is buried on your breasts. He looks so innocent this way. Like a child that only wants love. You kiss his temple.
My sweet child. You should've never existed.
"Momma," he inhales and smiles lightly. Your tears sting as you continue to dig with your free hand under the pillow. You trace the outline of the knife, it's medium size, serrated, and sharp as hell. You slide it out inch by inch taking breaks whenever he fidgets.
Momma, why don't you love me?
The blade is on your fingers just as he shifts. His free arm is bent over his eyes and the arm that connects with yours is on his tummy so you have to sit up to keep it from digging into your wrist. You hold your breath for so long that you are panting by the time you allow yourself to breathe. You'll stab him in the neck and not stop until he is dead. It is easy. You can do it.
You move your wrist, yanking his...silence. You sit up fully and begin to saw the shoestring as quietly as you can. It doesn't take much force before your wrist is free. No movement from Sangwoo or Bum.
Good.
You let out a shaky exhale as you get on your knees and hold the knife with both hands over his neck. You were so determined to kill him, to make him pay, yet, here you are shaking. You are doing the world a favor by destroying him. There is no turning back. You aim the knife and just as you are about to plunge it inside him he opens his eyes and looks up at you sleepily.
You're going to kill me, mommy? When all I've ever wanted was your love?
The knife trembles. You are frozen in the instance when Sangwoo Jr becomes aware of the knife in the dimness of the room. He doesn't try to take it away from you. His hand reaches towards you, you flinch, but he doesn't slap it away. He brushes the back of his fingers across your chin.
"You look so tired."
Your chin quivers and your face wrinkles with your sobs. You drop the knife and he sits up and crushes you in his arms. You cry like you have never cried before in such loud heaps that Bum wakes up. Sangwoo Jr consoles you, emotion flickering in his eyes, your murderous punishing child, consoles you. He cups your face and wipes the tears with your thumbs.
"No more," you manage from your tight throat. You are unaware of the way Bum's eyes widen. "We won't fight you anymore. We can live happily here...all three of us. There is no need to ties up, no need for you to go out of your way to trap us. We will stay here by choice."
A different type of light crawls into your (color) eyes. A light he hadn't seen before. You are tired of being a victim. Sangwoo swears he hears something audible crack inside you, like a dish breaking or maybe something much subtle. You are offering him what he never thought receiving...acceptance.
What will it be like for you to finally stop rebuffing his attentions? To find that disgust is no longer etched on your face? Is it really that simple?
"What do you think, Bum?" You turn to him and he can't believe the words coming out of your mouth. But he wants this to end as much as you do.
"B-but Sangwoo Jr. doesn't love me anymore," he says softly staring at the biting shoestring on his wrist that connects to Sangwoo's ankle.
"Don't be jealous of Bum," you scoot closer to him. You scan his features languidly, as if it was the first time, since his birth, that you were truly taking him in. You rise lightly on your knees and pepper his face with kisses and when you kiss his eyes, they are wet with tears. "He loves you. You don't have to be afraid anymore. You don't have to take us by force. We are yours."
You kiss his lips, nip his bottom lip. Wow. The emotion that your words bring swirl in your belly. Just hours ago, you wanted to destroy him...
You caress his face with the tips of your fingers as if he was the most fragile thing in the world. You caress his high-cheekbones, his strong jaw. You place a flat hand on his rapid beating heart, "You are not like your father, are you? All you wanted was acceptance. All you wanted was love. They betrayed you." He knew who you talked about. "You punished them the only way you knew how. It's okay." You place a finger over his lips. "You are simply what your father and I created."
You glance at Bum and smile, "Come here, baby."
Sangwoo Jr folds his knee and grabs the knife beside him and swiftly rips the shoestring. Bum goes to where you are, crawling between Sangwoo's legs. You embrace him and he cries once more, looking at Sangwoo Jr like a child that is being protected by his mom.
"I have always loved you. Not only because you remind me of your father, but because I have never had a family. I-I never had anyone to love of my own." Until you. Until him. He sniffles. "When I carried you in my arms...I promised I would never hurt you like I was hurt. B-but I guess I failed."
Sangwoo Jr doesn't know what to say. He opens his mouth to speak, but then your smile renders him even more speechless.
"What do you say, Junior? Why don't we become a family again?"
"Momma," he mumbles.
The child inside him rejoices, but he is afraid.
"You can take your time to think about it. I want to give you something."
You slip out of bed without the ties of him not allowing you to move restricting you, without having to ask his permission. With every step you take, the old you withers and dies, but it doesn't hurt to die. It doesn't hurt to finally stop running. To finally stop surviving.
"Are you coming?" You ask over your shoulder to find Sangwoo Jr embracing Bum. He gives him a kiss on the lips before stepping out of bed.
He follows you up the stairs, down more halls, past the playroom in which he and Bum played when he was a child. He begins to feel what he didn't feel when he killed Seung and FN. He felt guilty. He follows the mass of hair that flows against your scarred body. You stop in the middle of the hall and look up at a tiny cord that hangs from the ceiling. The cord that leads to the attic.
You go to him and raise your arms up in the air like a toddler. He picks you up until you can pull down the scaffolding stairs. Your bare ass on his muscular forearm. Dusty debris falls on the top of your head as you climb up and he walks behind you. He immediately recognizes the smell of death.
You turn on the lights of the attic he has never stepped foot on. He sees a clutter of boxes of old clothes that belonged to his father. A bloodstained teddy bear in a corner next to a baseball bat.
"This smell," He says, pinching his nose.
You side-glance him and then point at the gray paint tubs in the opposite corner. It is weird how cement wasn't enough to remove that faint smell.
"Jinwoo is in there," you say quietly. "He is actually in various buckets. I cut him into pieces and placed them in tubs of cement."
Sangwoo Jr mouth drops. "Holy shit."
You turn on your heel and crane your neck to face him head on, "You are not the only one who has killed out of rage."
He takes a step and leans to kiss your forehead and then your lips. He realizes you have given him something he never thought he'd receive..trust. You have given him a way to destroy you and Bum.
He folds his hands on your hips, "Okay. Let's start over, momma, but you can't leave me ever." He squeezes tighter and shoves you on him. Your bodies link like sticky paper. "Promise me that we will always be together?"
You make him the promise you had made Bum the foolish day you believed you were free...
You cup the side of his face, his cheek warm on your palm, "We will be together, always."