The next week or so, Rhett and I were on different pages of the same book. We went to work numb and possibly angry at the other.
Rhett tried talking to me but I couldn't find the words to speak back. I just acted on screen and afterwards my soul died. I became a living zombie in a world full of happy, knowing people.
The crew knew what was up. They tried to get my mind off it, to bring me back to life, but I was impossible to fix. Impossible.
Rhett stopped trying at one point, which should have hurt more than it did, but in the end, I realized I was the one making this hard. I was the one who messed everything up and I was paying for it.
It wasn't much longer afterwards when Rhett came to work with a bloody nose. He said it must have "just started" but you could see where the crimson crusted over, drying up on his face like stale bread. He wiped it away.
He sat at his desk and flipped his computer on. He was quiet.
I was watching him now. I could tell he was upset, I could see right through his paper lies.
"Who did it?" I asked.
He looked at me, eyes wild.
He shook his head, "No one."
I sighed, "You don't have to tell me. I respect that."
Neither of us expected that answer but it seemed to have been the last wall to knock down. I was giving Rhett his space and I wasn't pushing anything anymore.
We were finding normal again.
"Mike slammed me with the door this morning," he said, casually.
I couldn't help but laugh, "Sorry, I shouldn't..."
But he started laughing with me and it didn't feel so bad then.
He laughed one of his big belly laughs. The room felt lighter, lifted up.
Everything was good. The tension had disappeared and I felt like I was just Rhett's best friend. Because I was and that was okay.
"I'm sorry about all this," I said finally calming down, "I'm sorry I messed everything up. Let's start over..."
He shook his head, "I'm sorry, but we aren't starting over. What happened was meant to happen for some reason. We just read a book with a real shitty ending. Let's start a new one, okay? One that starts with you and I getting lunch later. How does that sound?"
I laughed, nodding my head, "I'd like that."
And that was it. Just as fast as it had happened, it was over. The idea of Rhett and I being a thing, the pressure, the anger, the sadness - it was gone.
I was happy just being Rhett's friend for a while. Did I still love him? More than I could ever control.
But I discovered that loving something you can't have isn't always so bad. It just sucks a little. In the end, I still get Rhett, just not all of him and that's just fine.
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Not really sure how I feel about this chapter. It's eh. But I tried. I can't wait to get into the next section of this story. I hope you guys enjoy!
Thanks for reading and thank you for being your mythical best!
- Robin