Flames || Rhink

Ramen

The next day I woke up sad. Unsure of where my life was going. I couldn't get it together.

I called out sick. Rhett sounded angry over the phone, but he let it pass. He told me to feel better and get some rest.

The truth was I just couldn't see him again today. I needed another break.

I can't look at him anymore without remembering the night we made love for the first time, or the night he ran his fingers through my hair and named off all the things he loved about me. It was the hardest thing to feel.

Regret.

I do regret the things I did. Or didn't do. I was too clingy and I never let Rhett lead. I shouldn't have pushed so hard and then maybe we would still be on the swing together.

But we fell off and I got cut. Rhett shook off all the dust and carried on just fine.

I got out of bed and slowly made my way to the bathroom. I watched myself in the mirror.

Who is he? I thought. Why is he here?

I brushed my teeth hastily, eager to get away from my reflection. Once I was done, I went to the kitchen.

I opened the cabinets to find only a jar of peanut butter, a family sized box of mini wheats, and a can of soup. That bag of ramen I bought last night sat on my counter halfway out of the bag.

I thought of the cashier and his words. I sighed.

Opening the ramen, I was flooded with memories of when Rhett's mom would make these for lunch. We'd play outside until she hollered for us.

"Rhett! Link!" she yelled, "You're noddles are ready!"

We would have been looking for food on a deserted island or walking the plank of a pirate ship. Every once in a while, we landed on the moon.

Rhett always got the bigger bowl, because he was bigger. I never minded it. I barely finished my bowl as it was, but Rhett would scarf down both if he could.

I dropped the dry filet of noodles into the pan of water I sat on the stove. I dashed it with salt and waited.

I starred as the water began to boil. The air grew thick and hot. 

My glasses fogged up, but I didn't wipe them down. I pulled the pan off the stove as I stirred them with a fork. 

I drained most of the water, but left a little bit to drink afterwards. That had been my favorite part when I was a child. Drinking the juice.

It always made me feel warm and full. Something you only feel when you're content, happy with life.

I sprinkled the seasoning packet over the noodles, indulging them in salt and artificial chicken flavor. I mixed it up and poured it into a bowl.

Sitting down on my couch, I grabbed my laptop from the coffee table. I opened the YouTube tab, to find the days video. It was the one we filmed just 24 hours before. Us testing sports bras.

It was fun to shoot, I must say. The crew really got a kick out of it. I on the other hand couldn't stop thinking about him and how much I missed holding him. Watching him like that reminded me of his feminine side. The side where he wanted to be little spoon, the side where he wanted to dance in the rain, the side where he became the princess.

My princess.

I took a bite of the noodles. Still hot.

I burnt my tongue. But I didn't mind the sting, the uncomfortable numbness. It felt normal.

I continued eating. I barely tasted the food but I didn't need to. I was only eating because I knew I had to. My appetite had plummeted since the break up and I had lost 8 pounds. Rhett would kill me if he knew, I thought.

I watched onto More. I watched him. I watched him react to my words, my touch, my everything.

He was unreadable. I sighed.

I got halfway through the bowl and put it to my lips, drinking all the liquid I could.

I felt warm. But miserable.

I shut the laptop, sat the half eaten bowl of ramen on the coffee table, and went back to bed.

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I don't know what to think. At least I updated.

Tell me how you feel about this chapter down below. I'd love to know! Thanks so much for reading!

Thanks for being your mythical best!

-Robin