Flames || Rhink

In The End

In the next few weeks that followed, I had gotten better at being on camera, I gained three pounds, and I threw away the matches for the last time.

I wasn't acting so strangely on set any more. I had gotten used to the feeling of being watched again. I stopped reading comments and focused on me. I went with the flow, and everything else fell into place. 

I was happy there. I had gotten some of my humor back. Rhett was constantly laughing at a joke I had made. I felt so alive on camera and it was truly incredible.

I had been eating pretty well too. I had even gotten to three meals a day. When I found out I gained three pounds, Rhett took me for ice cream. It was delicious.

I thought the taste test videos would go horribly wrong, but I think they helped. I wasn't afraid of food anymore. 

It was so nice to be able to just eat when I wanted to eat and have the energy to do so. 

I wish I could say that I hadn't put any new scars on my body, but a week into being back, I found myself in the bathroom, lighting matches. I was overwhelmed that day. Work had gotten the best of me and Rhett was upset because I was upset and it was just a vicious never ending cycle of "why the fuck am I here."

I might have kept going too, if Rhett wouldn't have walked in on me.

He didn't say anything. He just grabbed the match from my hand and flushed it down the toilet. He looked at me with those big sad eyes and shook his head.

I was ashamed of what I had done, but I accepted it and emptied the box of matches into the trash can.

I didn't know why this time was different, but I truly felt like that was the last time I would burn myself out of pure emotion.

Rhett kissed me and rubbed neosporin on the new spots. He covered them with a band-aid, and then left the room.

I stood there, taking in the emotion I was feeling.

I was tired and aware of how dumb I felt, but that was the first time that I felt free from this nightmare that was constantly playing in my mind.

I finally had the courage to say enough was enough.

I got dressed and I ran through my house, laughing my ass off like some kind of moron. Rhett watched me and then joined in.

We were just happy to be alive. Together.

It was the most magical Tuesday night I had ever lived.

In the end, I think it's fair to say that I had gotten better.

I wasn't perfect. I had a long way to go.

I had so much food to eat and so much weight to gain.

I had to come to terms with myself on just who I would be now. I wasn't going to be like the man I was before. He was great, but Rhett had convinced me that who I was now, was even more special.

I was stronger now and more brave. I could hold my own against myself, the toughest battle of all.

He told me every day how proud he was of me.

He always asked me how I felt and he never pushed me to do anything I was uncomfortable doing. Our lives were in sync.

He had also grown accustomed to grabbing my ass in public, but I didn't mind I guess.

The days were going by quicker and quicker now. I was always so busy and full of excitement. I wanted to be the best me the world had ever seen. 

So that's what I become.

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Ah, oh Link. How far you've come!

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!

Thank you so much for reading! You're amazing!

-Robin