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I'm met with a series of flashes upon exiting the club, and Harry pulls me in closer to him. I'm feeling so claustrophobic and exposed, and overwhelmed with emotions. To hear them all calling out Harry's name, and even the occasional person calling my own. I do my best to ignore their hurtful comments and jabs, but one voice seems to stand out amongst the rest.
"Ava, how do you feel about Kendall Jenner being in Melbourne?"
The car door slams shut as we speed off, and I'm jolted forwards out of my seat, as I haven't had the chance to buckle my seatbelt. Harry grabs hold of me, pulling me back, preventing me from hitting the chair in front of me, and he wordlessly leans over to click my seatbelt on.
"Harry what was that back there?" I exclaim, sounding slightly angrier than I wanted to come off. "Is it true?"
"Uh oh, someone's in trou-ble," Marnie drunkenly chimes, and I almost forgot that she was in the car.
"I can't help it that there were paparazzi Ava! You can't blame me for the shït they say!" he replies in defence.
So he wants to just ignore the elephant in the room?
He sits Marnie up properly as she's seemed to have shifted in her drunken stupor, and I can't help but feel like he's trying to avoid the conversation I so desperately need to have with him.
"Please don't act like you didn't hear what he said Harry! All I need is for you to be upfront with me. I just don't want to look like a fool in this!"
The alcohol coursing through my veins gives me confidence to ask questions that I could never have asked had I been sober, especially in this manner.
"Ava," he says as he exhales, pushing his hair back in frustration, "We will talk about this - but not here," he adds, flicking his eyes fleetingly to the front seat where our driver is sitting.
Fine.
He takes my hand in his, and automatically, I turn rigid against his touch. I don't want him being affectionate with me when I have no idea if his version of the truth matches up to what is actually happening. I don't like feeling that I'm left in the dark, and I need answers pronto. He keeps his hand firmly over mine despite my icy demeanour, and although the mood in the car is a tense one, Marnie drunkenly carries on in the same manner, demanding things.
"I'm hungry," she whines.
"We're almost home," I respond dismissively.
"I don't want anything at home, I want Maccas!" she cries.
"Can we please make a stop off at the next McDonalds?" Harry politely asks the driver.
We shortly pull into the drive thru, and Marnie scrolls down the window to order.
"Hi, welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?"
"I want a cheeseburger Happy Meal" she shouts, as she leans half of her body out the car window to get closer to the speaker.
"Marnie! Get back in the car!" I scold, pulling her back in.
"They need to hear me better," she slurs, turning back to me.
"Anything else?" the employee asks, and I can just about feel the frustration in the drive thru operator's tone.
"And a drink, and a straw, and a napkin!," she continues shouting. "And a girl toy because I'm a girl!"
"That'll be all thank you," Harry politely adds to the box.
When we get to the window to pay, Harry raises his hips in order to get his wallet from his back pocket.
"No, I'm paying," I state firmly.
"It's fine, I've got this," he tells me.
"Harry, it's my sister," I snap. "Just let me."
He retreats, and I know I'm being petty, but I need to feel like I'm regaining some form of control.
I hand Marnie the $10 note, and she carelessly holds out her hand, causing the money to fly off into the wind.
Ugh!
I say nothing as Harry reaches into his wallet to give her the money, and the mood goes back to being a tense one. I wish the driver would at least put the radio on or something, because the silence is absolutely deafening.
We pull up to Harry's house and I look over to Marnie who has fallen asleep, still clutching her uneaten Happy Meal for dear life. I exit the car and wait by the front door for Harry to unlock it. He taps her on the shoulder to wake her up, but she's in a heavily drunken slumber. Unbuckling her seatbelt, he delicately picks her up, as though she were a young child that fell asleep on the journey home. My expression softens as I see the effort and care he is showing towards my sister, and I have to remind myself that I haven't even given him a chance to explain himself yet.
What if I do hear something I don't like? I can't help but question what I would do, and how I would react.
Would I stay?
I'd like to think that I'm strong and independent enough to walk away, but a small voice within me tells me I wouldn't be able to, and yet it's the only voice I can focus on at the moment.
Harry passes me the house keys to unlock the door for him as he has his hands full, and I hold it open as he leads her into the spare bedroom that Liam was using.
"What about Liam? Where will he stay?" I ask.
"I messaged him in the car to stay at one of the boys. He'll be right," he answers as he carefully lays her out on the bed. I sit down beside her, and carefully take off her shoes, one by one, and place a light blanket over her. Harry returns with a glass of water and a bucket, and he signals to the bucket,
"Just in case," he explains. "I just need to uh make a phone call real quick. Do you want to uh wait for me in my room?"
"Sure."
When I get to his bedroom, I remove my heels, and feel instant relief when I do so, and try my best to straighten my foot out back to its normal state.
I walk onto the cool tiles through to his adjoining bathroom and I splash water onto my face, and remove any excess make up off. I take my time brushing my teeth, and carefully remove my hair from its up do. When I get back to his bedroom, he's still yet to return. It's been almost fifteen - where is he?
I reach my hands towards my back, craning for the zipper and failing abysmally. I must look a sight as I continue to persist, laying on the bed on my stomach, and flailing about, trying to unzip my dress.
I will not let this beat me. I will overcome this.
I feel like both laughing, and crying from the complete ridiculousness of what is happening. What am I even doing? Clearly this behaviour can be blamed on what is currently going on with Harry - and maybe a little due to my slight intoxication. I give up, feeling defeated and Harry surprises me as he enters. I remain seated on the bed, and pull my hair across to one side,
"Can you please..." I ask, trailing off, and he strides over to slowly undo my zipper.
I stand up and allow the dress fall to the ground and I hear Harry audibly gasp when he sees me in the white lacy lingerie I'm wearing, especially for him. I know how much he loves me in white. Making no real effort to change, I sit on the edge of the bed and cup my face in my hands from the mess I've found myself in the middle of. When I remove my hands from my face, Harry is kneeling at my feet. Holding my arms firmly in his hands, he pulls himself in close to me.
"Harry," I cry out helplessly, and I hate myself for the power he has over me. "Please...please don't do this," I softly plead. I try to keep my emotions masked, though my voice is threatening to give me away.
Placing his forehead against my stomach, his breathing is ragged. A single tear falls from my cheek, and we watch as it trails down my chest. He kisses the tear, stopping it in its path, and his mouth tenderly works its way up my body, in search of my lips.
This is the last thing that I thought I would need, but the kiss is having such a comforting effect on me, and I allow his tongue to enter my awaiting mouth. It's a kiss my body was longing and yearning for, and I kiss him back with all I'm worth as tears continue to stream down my face. He pulls apart, wiping underneath my eyes with his thumbs.
"I hate seeing you like this," he comforts, and I genuinely believe him. He hasn't looked this sad since the time he was on my doorstep, under the impression that I had willingly kissed Max. Yet somehow, this feels so much worse.
"I want to talk about this," I try.
"There's nothing to talk about," he mutters, trying to kiss me again.
"I need to know what happened. Why would Kendall Jenner be in Melbourne, if it's not for you?"
"I don't know why she's here," he says, standing up and he begins to pace the room. "I just wish you would take my word over a bunch of parasite paparazzi who want that million dollar reaction snapshot."
"But it's kind of difficult when you refuse to talk about it..." I bravely reply.
"What do you want to know then?" he snaps, and when he sees my hurt reaction, he kneels at my feet once more. "Ava, please don't do this to me. Please believe me. Nothing happened between her and I. We know each other from the industry and that is all. It was never like how it is with you and I."
I want to believe him. I really do, but I just don't know how. He cups my face tenderly in his hands, forcing me to meet his green eyes.
"Ava, I would never do anything to hurt you. You're all I'll ever want, just please don't leave me."
His eyes are glistening and I can both see, and feel his sincerity. I know he cares for me as I care for him.
Isn't that all that really matters in the end?
"So nothing is going on between you and her?" I ask.
He shakes his head, "Absolutely nothing."
"And nothing ever has happened between you two?" I confirm.
Pause.
"No. Not like this."
"So you never slept together?" I inquire, and my body tenses up, almost preparing itself for the answer it is awaiting.
"No."
A wave of relief washes over me. It's exactly what I wanted to hear, and yet I still feel as if something bad is lurking around the corner, waiting to steal my happiness.
"I'm sorry," I say to Harry. "I'm sorry for interrogating you, but I just needed to know. I won't bring it up anymore..."
His eyes flit to the floor. "No, its okay, I just want to be done with it, that's all..."
I yawn and nod my head in agreement.
"Can we please go to sleep? I'm dead tired," I say, stretching my body out onto the bed.
"Good idea," he agrees, taking off his jumper and stepping out of his jeans.
I climb under the cool covers and am surrounded by immediate warmth as Harry climbs in behind me, holding me closely from behind. I feel him kiss me on the back of my head, and it was the last thing I remember before sleep takes me.
Question of the chapter: Do you think Harry is being honest with Ava about his past with Kendall? (No spoilers to those who have read this before!)
Hope you enjoyed! I also just had to include 'Maccas' in my story. For all of you non Australian readers, Maccas is what we call McDonalds. I remember when the 1D boys were in Australia and someone tweeted that Zayn was spotted at Maccas and the whole twittersphere was like "wtf is Maccas?" and we all thought it was the funniest thing ever.
This chapter goes to @LaurenWhoWrites for her super sweet and funny comment. It brought a smile to my face, and I hope that this dedication will bring a smile to yours too :) Please make sure you've voted, and that you're following me on social media for any updates!
Twitter: WordsWithGem
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