Being a dancer, surrounded by skinny people every living moment. You start getting self conscious of your self. You wonder about your shape and your looks. You want so badly to look as what the world depicted as beauty. It was something I hadn't dealt with personally . It's never been a problem for me. I didn't worry about what I ate. Or felt self conscious about my figure. But she did.
Nani Westbrook
She had been that friend. The one with a strict diet, the one who asked how many carbs where in everything. Even damn air. And it pained me to see her do it to her self. To see her seat here and starve her self. But would you expect.
Where that trio.
Those 3 girls in ever classic chic flick.
The ones you would of thought came out of a Barbie box.
We where the "It"Girls.
Bee was the brains, with nails like know other and badass IQ and highest class GPA. She made brains beautiful. And was confident in every way, she was out spoken and confident never timid, never shy and never frighten . Her mom had installed genius in her. Yeah, Bee had her flaws she was nosey as hell and at times her brilliance got the best of her along with her bluntness and honesty.
Nani was the Beauty, she dazzled ever one every where she went. It was hypnotizing in a way. Growing up she didn't just do ballet she did pageants, and was even crowd Ms. Junior Debutante. She knew how to fake a smile, a pretty one to. No matter how much people tried there was no way of hating her. She was charismatic melting your heart with just a smile. She had that affect on people. And unlike me, she was actually nice and the kindest person you would meet. She spent a lot of time giving makeovers to homeless people for there job interviews.
Nani wanted nothing more than to be perfect.
I accepted that I wasn't.
This problem had been going on for what seem like for ever. Growing up with a super model Mom who won Miss Universe TWICE. She felt the weight on her shoulder. Growing up a pageant kid looks where important. I just wish she hadn't took it as far as she did. I remember the first day I seen her join dance,she had always been in my tumbling classes ,unlike most she started dancing late at 12 while most where dancing at the studio by the age of 6. Her mother had automatically placed her into advanced classes.She walked in there with the wardrobe of a professional with the experience of an amateur.
She stumbled a few times, by a few I mean a lot. Her blonde hair covered her face every time her landing failed.
So, I helped her. Little old me became her first friend and her personal teacher in a way. We grew close, and soon her raw talented showed and dancing became natural to her. Although not much changed since then. She's still the same determined girl she was then, with the same morals, the same smile, and the same diet.
" You should eat Nani." I suggested
She looked down out the donuts before shaking her head. Bee rolled her eyes before reaching for another donut. Class hadn't started yet, while most people where in the cafeteria eating breakfast. We sat outside on the bleacher stuffing are faces with donuts that Bee bought this morning. The boys ran around the football field for morning practice, and due to the fact that Nani was dating the schools running back are jobs as friends was to seat with her so she wouldn't look lonely as she waited for him.
" Come on Nani just a nibble." Bee waved the donut around in Nani face trying to persuade her into eating it.
" Get that diabetes infested food away from me!"
"If you don't at least take a bite Nani I will shove it down your throat." There was no playfulness in Bee's voice at all. She was serious, cold some serious. And Nani knew it. I felt as though Bee was wasting her time. Even if Nani did eat it, she would just throw it back up later. Nani rolled her eyes before taking the smallest bite. I seen ants take bigger bites then that.
" Your going to kill your self if you keep this up Nani."
Nani didn't reply instead she plastered a smile as Zane and his idiot friend walked up to us. Zane planted kiss on Nani's lips and scowled at Lucas as he approached with his boyish smile.
" Well if isn't 2 of my favorite girls in the world.." he winked at Bee and gave Nani a light hug before looking down at me. " And there hideous Guard Dog." His hands ruffled my hair " Who's a good boy, who's a good boy." He teased.
" Touch me again Lucas and I swear you'll regret it." He shrugged taking a donut out of the box.
My eyes narrowed burning into him with ever amount of hatred in my body. He took a bite of his donut before leaning in closer to me his index finger pointing out in a daring manner. And just like that.
Poke.
His finger poked my head.
As if a switch went off on me I slapped that donut out of his hand. This was Lucas and I's relationship are conversations consisted of insults and jabs.
" Hey!" He called.
" Jackass." I said.
" Your such an angry person KP, you want to know what I think?"
" Nope,"
" Not really."
Every one said.
" I find it utterly surprising that your brain even works." I fired.
" Harty, Har, Har." He fake laughed. " KP, I think you just need to get laid."
And just like that every one bursted into laughter.
" Seriously it will help you loosen up. Your such an up tight asshole. Getting some dick would be good for you,but I honestly can't think of any one who would actually want to have sex with you other then Fin." He commented
Sex? It wasn't something I was exploited to. I didn't think about it, then again maybe I didn't want to. While others where sex craved and horny. I couldn't see my self doing that.
At least not again.
Then simple topic made me tense. I didn't expect them to know why, such a simple word like "sex" made me uncomfortable right now. They didn't know, and I was thankful for that. I wouldn't know how they would think of me if they had found the awful truth.
All of it.
" I- I should get to class early." I fumbled with my books stuffing them in my bag. The atmosphere changed instantly. My suddenly desire to leave didn't go unnoticed.
" Wait, we still have 10 minutes left." Nani pointed out.
" I know I just think I should get to class early maybe catch up on some work." I lied.
And I'm sure as hell they knew that. Lucas gave me a apologetic look.
" KP don't be like that I was just kidding I didn't mean to-"
I raised my hand cutting him off.
" It's fine, I'm use to your idiotic comments." I walked away not even caring to look back. I wasn't like Nani I couldn't fake a smile or act as if I wasn't upset. I wore my emotions on my sleeves and shut every one out in the process. There was no hiding for me, you saw what you saw. If I was angry you would know, If I was sad you would see, and if I was happy then you would be to.
I didn't wear a mask, to hide my emotions I just kept my mouth shut so you would never know as to why I felt how I felt. It was easier like that.
So, much easier.
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So, what do your think? What's running through your mind? And what is Kinsley so upset about?
You'll find out soon on.
Dear, Little Deaf Boy
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