Pretend Merlin is slurring when he's drunk for full effect. Also, I know Gwaine isn't actually around for this episode, but just go with it.
"What happened last night?" Merlin groaned while remembering drinking a few pints of ale with Gwaine.
"Should I start with you revealing your magic, the love of your life being killed by Arthur, or Arthur nearly being killed,?" Gwaine asked.
"Oh god, none of them."
"Well shut up because that's not an option." Gwaine remarked. He was pacing now, while Merlin was squinting.
"Last night I started by daring you to drink, do you at least remember that?"
Nodding slowly clutching his head, he asked Gwaine to speak quieter.
"Fine, but here's why happened."
Gwaine's explanation with more detail:
Merlin never drunk. Today had been an exception When Gwaine had dared him to.
Normally Merlin would have laughed and left the tavern, only to return later. He'd drag Gwaine out of the Tavern drunk as usual, while Merlin was still sober.
They were celebrating killing the bastet, as Gaius had called it. Merlin hadn't seemed as thrilled at it being killed. When Gwaine had dared Merlin for the millionth time, he was surprised to hear that Merlin would indeed be drinking with the knights and Arthur. This had surprised even the tavern regulars. Except Arthur if course.
Never had Gwaine seen Merlin drink. Gwaine thought that Merlin was the happiest person alive. That was until Merlin started drowning himself in ale. That was when they saw just how much Merlin hid from them.
Twelve. That was the amount of drinks Merlin had had. Gwaine had stopped letting him have drinks, and Merlin was sobbing about losing the love of his life, his father, His childhood best friend, being forced to hide everything and he kept going.
"Merlin calm down." Gwaine was on his fourth drink, and he could tell he wasn't going to have any more. Helping his friend was more important.
Leon, Percival, Elyan, Gwaine, and Arthur took Merlin to Arthur's chambers. They'd all agreed that would be their crashing site after drinking. Although their drinking had been cut short by Gwaine and Merlin, they didn't necessarily care. Yeah, they didn't drink as much as they had planned, but helping Merlin in this state was more important.
They were in Arthur's chambers, Merlin was leaned against a wall, with all the knights around him. Leon was worried about Merlin. "Are you okay?" He was in the most vulnerable state anyone had ever seen him in. They usually saw that goofy grin that helped them get through their worst days, but today there were only tears with a trembling lip.
Then Arthur walked towards Merlin. "You killed her! You killed her." Merlin screamed. Then he muttered it again, "you killed her." Then his sobbing had slowly gone to silence as tears streamed down his face.
Arthur was shocked. "Who is her? Who did I kill?"
"The love of my life!" He whispered. "Her name was Freya. Her stupid curse caused You to kill her! She didn't want to kill. It's not her fault she killed someone in self-defense! Then the witch went and cursed her for killing her son." He wailed. "I could tame her when she was in monster form, but I wasn't fast enough." Sobbing, Merlin wrapped his arms around his legs.
It then clicked for most of the knights. Arthur realized what it ment, but he couldn't quite comprehend it. He had killed the love of Merlin's life.
Then Merlin continued, "when I finally met my father, he died in my arms a few days later. The day after you told me no man was worth my tears." He paused to breathe. "Then there's when my best friend died, hiding one of my biggest secrets. If I'd just told everyone then maybe he wouldn't be dead. I have no free time anymore to mourn. If I'm not working for Arthur, then Gaius has me doing some chores, then I'm off saving Arthur's life and-" more sobbing.
Elyan was curious, "what Is your biggest secret then? Maybe it could prevent future deaths?"
"I- I- I... I shouldn't- I shouldn't- te-tell, if you didn't kill me my mother and Gaius will, or you'd kill Gaius... And I'm sure you would kill me, so no."
"Merlin, I promise they won't kill you, and I won't kill Gaius, or you, so out with it." Arthur commanded. "and I'm not asking, it's a direct order from your king. If it affects you this much, them you need to talk about it."
"Well then. Where do I start?" Merlin asked in his drunk state.
"How about the beginning?" Percival offered.
"I was born with it. My mother feared that people would find out and kill me. So I had to hide my magic."
Everyone in the room gasped.
"Then whenever someone bullied me for rumours of me being a freak, bastard child, my small frame, or large ears, I was never able to fight back. Even if I did somehow use it, I always felt like a monster later."
Merlin was suprised that no one had stabbed him, no one had left, and no one was screaming at him. They were all staring at him or the floor. Better reaction then he thought he'd get so he continued. "When I was in my early adulthood, my mother sent me to Gaius so he could help me control it. The reason I managed to save Arthur not long after we met was because I was slightly more immune to the song. I dropped the Chandelier on her, and then pushed you out of the way. I've actually saved your lives more times then I can count with my magic. Still doesn't change what I am though." Merlin paused and his voice got quieter. "A monster." Then the sobbing commenced.
The knights all sat around Merlin unable to understand that Merlin had in fact been through a lot, and he had been hiding something this whole time. Something big too. They hadn't known how broken Merlin felt until now.
His sobbing was the only thing the knights could hear. No one noticed the door creak open and close. Nor did they notice the small padding noises slowly, stealthily coming towards them. Towards Arthur.
Merlin chanced a look up at Arthur. His eyes went wide, then glowed gold, causing a thump behind the knights. Which in turn made the knights jump.
There behind them was a man knocked out, arm outstretched with a sword between his fingers. Merlin saved them. Again.
Gwaine turned back to Merlin who was now going unconscious. Great thought Gwaine. Now we have to deal with Merlin's magic, and the failed assassin.
End of Gwaine's explanation.
"I'm a nonsensical, daft, doltish simpleton! I should have never gone! Why didn't I ju-"
"Merlin please calm down, Arthur wishes to keep your magic a secret until he's king and can change the laws. If anyone tells, Arthur has threatened to have them killed in a way that would make it seem an accident. Arthur's only hurt that you never told him. So next time you go to his chambers, you have some explaining to do."
This calmed Merlin a bit, although he was still worried that Gwaine was lying.
Then Gwaine decided to comment, "And I used to wonder why you didn't drink! Now I know why!"
Merlin snorted.
.