I groaned and forced myself to pound on the bathroom door. Raven, my younger sister, decided she was going to hog the bathroom and put ten tons of makeup on. I was in dire need of a toilet. Thank god I took my shower last night or I would have been late for school at the rate she was going.
"Raven come on, you're too young for make up anyway." I yelled, hoping she would just stop and let me go to the bathroom. She was only fourteen and still a child, she shouldn't have been wearing makeup.
"Lennon, you wore makeup when you were ten so just calm down and let me finish. I'll be done in a couple minutes and then you can do whatever it is you are needing to do." She relied.
My bladder felt like it was going to explode. I went down the hall and used my parents bathroom instead. It saved me at least ten minutes of waiting.
"Where's your sister?" My father asked. He was in the middle of preparing our breakfast as my mother washed dishes from the night before. My mother, already dressed in her work clothes, had a bright smile on her face.
"The usual." I took a seat at the table and looked over my notes for my math test I had today. There was no way I was going to remember the difference between all the functions and know how to graph each one. I'm going to fail, I said to myself. It would have been a miracle if I could have memorized all of them before sixth hour.
"She better not be wearing something like she did yesterday." Dad groaned. Him and I were the same, we hated Raven wearing things that left nothing to the imagination. Dad, old school at heart, preferred us wearing loose jeans and baggy t-shirts.
"Honey she's young, that's what all the girls are wearing nowadays. You want her to fit in with all the other girls, don't you?" Mom asked. She always stuck up for my sister and her crazy wardrobe choices. "Who knows, maybe it's just a phase. Look at Lennon, she used to be that way herself and now she wears just skinny jeans that cover everything and a hoodie."
"We can only hope." My father whispered, only loud enough for me to hear. I laughed and smiled. He was definitely the world's best dad.
A few minutes later Raven finally emerged from the bathroom her face looking nothing like it was before she entered. I really wished she would she see how beautiful she really was, without all that crap on her face. Her natural blonde hair was enough to make any guy swoon and I was already worrying about her. I didn't want her to be taken advantage of. Hopefully it would be a couple more years before she would start dating.
"What's for breakfast Dad?" She hopped down in a chair and started texting away. My sister was a popular girl in the ninth grade.
"Raven you know the rules no phone at the table." Mom didn't like us using our phones during family time. She just finished washing dishes when Dakota started crying in his crib upstairs. "Gabriel can you go get Dakota?" She asked my father.
"Sure thing. I'll go get him and bring him down. He's probably hungry." Dad left without answering Raven's question.
"Mom, is it okay if I have some friends over for the night?" Raven asked taking a bite of an apple.
"As long as you get your homework done, I'm fine with it." She said to her. "Lennon will you watch them tonight? It's your dad's and I's date night. You can have some friends over if you want too." She asked me.
I didn't mind watching my sister, even though her friends and her were brats some of the time. I understood how important date night was to my parents, both working full time jobs and raising three kids. They needed some time to de-stress.
"Of course Mom, you and dad have fun, I'll be fine by myself though." I said.
"Are you sure you don't want to invite some friends over? You haven't been hanging out with them much lately. Any drama going on?" Mom asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't really talk to them or anyone at school. Usually I just sat in my desk took notes when I wasn't distracted and work on homework. "They've been busy and I've been studying for my math test." I waved my study guide in the air. "I really need to pass this test."
"Don't stress out too much. If you feel like you can't watch Raven and Dakota we'll stay home. I don't want you to feel overwhelmed."
Too late.
"No Mom, really it's fine. You guys deserve a night off more than me." I reassured her. My test was today so I wouldn't need to study tonight, just do a little homework.
She dropped the subject and finished cooking the eggs and bacon on the stove. Five minutes later the food was done and we were eating. Dad had Dakota in his high chair and was in a deep conversation with Mom.
"Crap we're going to be late if we don't hurry." I said to Raven. We both got up and gather our homework and shoved it in our bags. I kept out my math notes and journal in case I had time to study on the bus.
"I'll be driving you guys to school tomorrow. Tell your driver." Dad said stopping in mid conversation.
"Bye Mom. Bye Dad." I called out as I went out the door and down the front porch steps. It was just after seven thirty but I always like to be at the bus stop at least ten minutes early. A little cushion in case the bus was early.
Raven was wearing a strapless dress that was no doubt too cold for the temperature. If she got sick it was her own stupid decision. The least she could have done was put on a jacket to go along with the tights she was wearing under her dress.
I ignored her and looked at my journal. I needed to write it in again tonight. My stomach was always in knots knowing I would have to see him again. Every day, day after day. It never ended.
The bus pulled up and I got on first taking a seat in my spot at the front of the bus. Raven moved past me to the back of the bus to join her best friend. The driver marked down that we wouldn't be on the next day and started to move the bus on to our next stop.
I sat my books down in the seat by the window. That way no one would sit with me. My bag was setting in between my legs a comfortable foot rest. I didn't feel like studying any more and decided to give my brain a break.
Pressing play on my phone I closed my eyes as I listen to Pandora through my earphones. I bobbed my head up and down mouthing the words to the song playing.
"Lennon wake up! We're at school." Raven shook my arm.
"What?" I asked, groggy.
"We are at school hurry up you're holding up the line." She yelled. Raven had some pretty annoyed people behind her that were tired of waiting.
Crap I must have slept the whole bus ride. I grabbed my notes and bag hurrying to get off of the bus and out of the way. "Sorry." I apologized to no one in particular.
"Lennon you seriously need to start sleeping more at night. You can't keep doing this every week. People are starting to hate you." I ignored the last part Raven said and continued walking. Maybe if I didn't have nightmares every week I wouldn't fall asleep on the bus but I was just too exhausted that sometimes I didn't even realize it.
At the end of the day I went to my room and sat my bag beside my desk. I was ready to get some writing done to vent out all of my feelings. Let them flow freely from my mind to the paper and clear my mind of all the negativity. I started doing this a couple months ago to try and stop the nightmares from happening. It worked well enough. Instead of having them nightly it cut down to just a weekly occurrence.
I searched my desk drawer for my journal but couldn't find it. Then I remembered that I had it at breakfast at the table. I ran down stairs hoping to god that Mom or Dad didn't read it, or worse Raven. That journal held my deepest and darkest secrets, ones that no one knew about besides me.
Tearing apart the whole table I didn't see the journal anywhere on top of it, so I checked underneath the table thinking maybe someone knocked it down and didn't pick it back up. No luck. The counters were cleaned off and nothing laid on top of it. My journal was not down stairs.
I back tracked my steps in my mind and came to the conclusion that I had my journal with me on the bus and I put my notebook for math in my backpack at school and that I must have put my journal in there as well. Feeling stupid for freaking out so much I walked back up stairs trying not to laugh at myself.
I opened my book bag and found my math notebook in there, a pen, my pencil case, and my Algebra book. Where the hell did I put that journal? I asked myself over and over. That's when the panic kicked in. I lost my journal and I had no idea where it was, or who could have read it.
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