#:#: when you're young, you make mistakes. That's how you learn and grow. :#:#
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Mia
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I sit on the bed, legs and arms crossed as he tells me the story, the story I'm not sure I even want to hear, but I asked for it.
"I was ten when I started going to see her. My father thought that I needed to talk to someone about my depression and all the trouble I was getting into. I think I was just angry. I wanted my mother back. I wanted my father to be there for me and not be so wrapped up in his revenge. So, I started acting out. I ran away twice. Broke into a few stores. Stole a car-"
I stop him, completely shocked. "You stole a car when you were ten years old?"
He turns his head slightly to one side. As if I shouldn't be surprised to have heard that.
He continues on.
"Anyway. One night, in the middle of a fit, I pulled a gun out. I aimed it at my father, but couldn't go through with it. I still loved him too much. So, instead I turned it on myself. Closed my eyes and just before I pulled the trigger, my father yanked it out of my hand. The next day, I met Tiffany. I hated the idea of telling someone I didn't know things about myself. But she was kind and patient with me. I eventually began to open up to her. When I hit the age of fifteen I started to rebel against everything again. I refused to talk to Tiffany. There was never any chance of me opening up to my father. And so, I ended up in juvenie. Besides having a ton of hours be put into the community service, I also had to go back to seeing Tiffany. Really, in a lot of ways she helped me get out of a shit. So, I started back to sitting with her. It seemed easier to talk to her the older I got. And then seventeen rolled around and I.... Well, things between us, kinda started to change."
He stops. Not wanting to admit what I already know.
"You slept with her didn't you?" I groan.
He takes a deep breath. "I know you don't want to know about that but yes. I fucked her. It wasn't something that I set out to do but she started to notice things about me and I did the same with her."
"Did you love her?" I blurt out unexpectedly.
"No," he shakes his head. "No, I never loved anyone until I met you. But she was there for me when I needed her to be and it's been that way ever since."
"Did your father know?" I sigh.
"Not at the time, he found out later on."
"How long did you two have.... a personal relationship?"
His eyes scan over my face. He is wondering how to answer. One wrong word and boom! I'll explode. He knows it and I know it. I know of Lex's whoreish ways when he was younger but the idea of Tiffany being a part of that, nearly has me in tears of anger.
"About a year."
I nod my head, trying to control my temper and understand what he is telling me.
"Did it happen every time you went to see her?"
He nods but I can tell he is holding back.
"Tell me!"
His arms crossed over his chest and he leans back against the wall.
"It doesn't matter, Mia. What happened between us, is over now. It has been for years now."
"It matters to me! You're my husband and I never knew anything about this. She never even came up until she walked in at our party!"
He waves his hand. "Mia, you're being silly. You know I have a past."
And I explode. Like a ticking time bomb. I jump off the bed and I'm in his face before I know it.
"Yes, I know you have a past! A dark one too! And you can say I'm silly if you want too but I knew something had happened. And I was right, damn you! She wants you! I know she does. You know she does! And yet, you still talk to her! Like nothing ever happened. What if that was me? What would you do, Lex?! I know what you would do! You'd beat the hell out of whoever it was! But you expect me to just sit around and smile like it's nothing! Well, it might be nothing to you! But it's something to me!"
With so much rage in me, I push him hard. Of course, he barely moves but still. Damn him! He is built like a brick wall!
"Mia, stop this." He takes my hands, keeping me from pushing at him. "I love you, Mia. You know that."
I fight to win my hands back. His strength is greater than mine, without much effort on his half.
"Do you love me? Look at me! Once again I'm in tears because of you!"
"Mia! Tiffany and I only have a business relationship now. Nothing more. She helped me pick out a building for the new shop. That's it! "
I want to rip his eye out. "Yes! And that's it too! I was supposed to be the one to help you find a place! It was to be our business together! You're supposed to talk to me about those things not her! You're old whore that you probably fucked so many times!"
I yank my hands free. Making distance between us, I grab the first thing I can get my hands on and throw it at his head. He ducks just in time.
"Mia, stop this!"
The tears fall freely, like two waterfalls. "No, you stop! Stop pretending like you don't have a wife! Like you don't have anyone else to talk too other than her!"
A lamp flys at him next. He blocks his face.
"Enough!" he yells at me.
If I weren't so angry at him that probably would have scared the hell out of me, the way he just yelled. But it doesn't matter to me now!
"Get out of here!" I scream. "Get away from me!"
He doesn't listen. Instead he trys to block me in a corner.
"Stop." I warn him. I hold out my hand. "No!"
He raises his arm to..... I fall. Down in the corner. My arms around myself. Like a child. What did I think he was going to do? Hit me? No. Not Lex. He may be angry at me, he would never hit me. When I glance up to see him standing in horror as he looks down at me, what is left of my heart breaks.
He falls to his knees beside me.
"You thought I was going to hit you," it's not a question but a statement.
He reaches out for me, I resist him at first, but he takes me in his lap, to hold me. And again I feel like a small child as I cry into his chest.
(Thank you all for the great comments! They mean to the world to me. More than you know!)