❤ Innocent Rebel ❤

Chapter 54

(♥ω♥*) Paris is always a good idea!  Audrey Hepburn (♥ω♥*)
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Lex
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As it turns out, Oscar loves Paris. Hell, even I have enjoyed myself. But as I look over at Mia, sitting across the table from me in a little cafe, I can see the sadness in her eyes.
It's been like this ever since we left America. Since that last night.
There have however been times that I have seen her joy. When we first arrived, the moment she saw the grand hotel we were staying at, when we saw the Eiffel Tower, but her joy doesn't last long. From time to time, I can see her fall deep into her own thoughts and it's then that her sadness comes.
I wish now, more than ever, I knew what she was thinking.
I reach across the table to touch her hand. Her eyes dart up to mine and she gives me a small smile.

"You don't like Paris as much as you thought you would?" I ask.

She shakes her her softly. "No. I love Paris. It's beautiful."

"Then what's the matter?"

She looks away from me and sighs.

"Please, Mia, talk to me. I want to know what is the matter?"

She sits back. Looking out the window at Oscar who is feeding birds.

"Is it me? Have I done something wrong?" I press her on.

Instantly, her posture stiffens. "No, Lex."

"You never have been good at lying, Mia. Why try now?"

She snaps her head back to me. Sparks shooting from her eyes.

"Don't be an ass right now. I said it was nothing, so leave it alone."

I'm taken back by how pissed she suddenly is.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I snap. "This is where you wanted to go and since we have been here, you have been miserable. And bitchy. Not that I'm calling you a bitch, so don't look at me that way!"

She rolls her eyes and looks back out at Oscar.

I know she is pissed but I can't stop myself. "Every night, you move away from me to the other side of our bed. You barely let me near you. Not once have you wanted to have sex, and even when I try, you jerk away from me. What the fuck have I done so wrong? All because I don't want to get married or have kids? I can't help that Mia. I've never wanted this things. You should have known that when we got together. Look, at all that I am, that I have done, do you really think that I would be a good father?!"

A single tear falls. "Ever since I was a little girl I've always had this idea of a 'perfect' man, one that would be a good husband, a gentle father, and you're not that man. I guess that no one really has a choice in who they fall in love with. And I guess I didn't either."

I can't deny that I feel a bit like I have been slapped in the face. She has always had so much faith in me and now she is agreeing that I am not what she had always dreamed I would be.

She goes on. "Out of everything that has happened between us, to us, like a silly little girl, I thought maybe you would see a new light. That maybe you would want the same things I do. But I was wrong."

My temper is nearly boiling over. "So, what are you saying? That you fucked up in being with me? If you remember, I told you to stay away from me, Mia. I told you I was no good for you. You didn't listen."

She turns to me. "Who was it that showed up at my house in the middle of the night? I never begged you to keep coming around but you couldn't stay away. So, who's fault is it really?"

Damn! I sit back. The wall that she had knocked down so long ago is slowly starting to rebuild itself again. And I pull out my best shield to protect my heart. Spitefulness.

"The only reason I showed up that night was because I wanted to fuck you and I hadn't yet."

I know from the look on her face that she can't believe I've just said that. Already, I regret the words.

"I know what you're doing," she says. "You're trying to hurt me, if I didn't know how much you love me, I would hate you for that. But I know you're only saying it because you want to hurt me before I hurt you. I won't do that. And you should know by now-"

I cut her off. "I don't talk to me like I'm a child. And don't tell me what I should know by now!"

She stands. We have caught the attention of everyone around us and I feel their eyes on us. She reaches for her bag but before she leaves she bends down to say her last words on the matter.

"You know, why I won't hurt you, the way you have hurt me, Lex? Because you don't hurt someone you love."

Her words ring in my ears even minutes after she is gone. I know what is coming and as much as I don't want this, I have no way of stopping it either.

(Sorry I didn't update last weekend. I have been sick and extremely over worked. Please forgive  me and please vote and comment. Love u all!)