"waiting for everything to be okay."
D A I S Y
*trigger warning*
Two. Pounds.
The eggs and orange juice Ashton had talked me into eating and drinking had made me gain two pounds. I stared down at the number in disgust, feeling the aching urge to get rid of this shame.
It was normal to me by this point; I walked over to the sink, turning the tap on to myself drown out. Now feeling secure, I walked back over to the toilet and bent over it, shoving two fingers down my throat as far as they could go. I choked and gagged a few times, before my body contracted and forced the food out.
I repeated the process a few times until I knew everything that I could possibly get out of my system was out. Feeling slightly better, I stood back up despite my trembling legs and nauseous feeling. After flushing the toilet, I washed my hands and brushed my teeth before sneaking out of the bathroom and into my bedroom.
***
A S H T O N
After arguing with Michael for about ten minutes I dismissed the situation and journeyed upstairs to find Daisy. She'd have to start going to school soon, and since she was far away from home, Daisy would have to go to a new school.
I came and stood in front of her door, quietly tapping my balled up fist against her door. "Can we talk?"
"Um, just a second!" Daisy sniffled.
I heard rustling from the other side of the door and moments later it was pushed open. I followed Daisy inside and took a seat beside her on her bed.
"So, are you liking it here?" I asked her.
Daisy nodded, her eyes trained on the space between us.
"That's good. Are you adjusting and getting used to it?"
Again, she nodded.
"Great. I was thinking you could go back to school in a few days? It would be a new school and I still have to get you enrolled, though."
"Okay."
"Unless you'd like to do online school. I don't mind," I added.
She shook her head, fidgeting around in her seat.
"So you're doing regular school, right?" I confirmed, and when she agreed I stood up. "Okay. I'll go call the school."
I started to walk away, but something just didn't feel right, so I stopped at the doorway. "Are you okay? You're awfully quiet."
"Just tired," she looked up and gave me a small smile.
"Oh okay. I'll be in my room if you need me," I told her and left, closing the door behind me.
D A I S Y
He doesn't care. Ashton doesn't care about me.
I noticed how quickly he tried to leave. I noticed how it was as if he didn't want to talk about how I felt. He just didn't care.
This made me feel worse, and I couldn't help but to start crying all over again. Why am I like this? Why am I always crying?
Maybe if I kept starving and purging and working out I'd become so skinny that I'd need help. That I'd need doctors to tell me I needed to eat or I'd die. Maybe then Ashton would care.
***
hello this is a short chapter so i'll update again v shortly
i'm literally on the verge of a panic attack bc i want to purge so bad and my life is a mess lolol i'm sorry i don't like to say this kind of stuff on here but i just really need someone
how are you? good i hope :)
stay positive. ily <3