Chapter Four: Cotton Ball
26 November, 1981
The responsibility to look after the strange dog, as they now called him, fell upon Remus, as he was the only one who the dog felt comfortable around. The first few days in the shelter, he seemed to be bitter, as he hated staying in his cage. But with the help of the small husky puppy, he got used to his new environment, and though he refrained from making any friends, he didn't seem to mind the company of the puppy.
Remus referred to the puppy as cotton ball, but didn't give him any permanent name. They always avoided doing so, so that when a dog got adopted, their new owner could give them any name of their choice. Thus, it was always rather difficult for them to communicate with a dog, especially with the strange dog who seemed to understand everything they said.
Remus arrived at the shelter one morning to be greeted with an adorable sight. The large cage where the strange dog rested was now also occupied by cotton ball, who was sleeping, his body rested so close to the large dog, that he was hardly visible. The strange dog looked around him with a haughty expression, as though daring anyone to harm the small creature.
"He wouldn't sleep last night, this cotton ball," said Adam, walking over to him and giving him half a smile. "Started a racket when we put him inside his cage, and luckily, Nancy had the sense to take him to his friend's cage. He fell right asleep after that."
Smiling, Remus left upstairs in order to check on the puppies that had fallen ill recently, making a mental note to take the strange dog and cotton ball outside to play when he came back.
❇
Sirius had to admit, he was pleasantly surprised when the puppy stopped crying as soon as he was put in his cage. Walking over to him with shaky legs, he flopped down beside him, and snuggling up in his fur, immediately fell asleep. He stared at him with amusement, before a dull ache grew in his heart.
He remembered, one Christmas holiday at Hogwarts, he and James, who had stayed to accompany him, were having dinner at the great Hall when a howler arrived for him. It was, of course, from his dear mother, who reminded him for the umpteenth time what a disgrace he was to the family, informing him that they were having a Christmas dinner at the Black manor, where all the respectable "pureblood" families were invited. She told him how he had stained her name in front of the guests by not being present, and by the time the howler had disappeared into a wisp, his hands were clenched so tightly into a fist, that his fingernails dug into his palm.
James had held him firmly by the arms and taken him out of the Great Hall, and it was fortunate for him that only a few students were present to witness the incident. Despite that, he felt his heart ache, not because of his mother, but because of Regulus, who was slowly, but surely, drifting away from him. After being sorted into Gryffindor, his family had forced the youngest heir to not talk to his brother, though they secretly communicated at school, away from the prying ears of nosy Slytherins. But he couldn't help but notice that his meetings with Regulus were becoming shorter and less frequent, and he doubted whether they would continue after that.
In the dorms that night, Sirius had changed into his animagus form and slept on James's bed, allowing him to hold him and keep reality away from him. It always helped - being an animagus. Though he still had the same mind, oddly enough, being a dog helped him forget everything around him. It was as though his human body was caged inside the dog body that acted as a repellent to anything that made his heart ache.
Now, as the puppy slept next to him, it reminded him of the days when he used to snuggle up beside James, and sometimes, Lily, whenever he was having a particularly bad day. He was truly grateful for having James in his life - a brother he wished to have - and the fact that he was unable to protect him, or Lily, or their son, Harry, even his own brother, Regulus, wrenched his heart in an incredibly twisted way. It was only when the puppy let out a huge yawn for his small body, was Sirius pulled out of his memories, and he looked down to see him stirring.
About time you woke up, you lazy thug, Sirius thought with a smile, which, of course, was not visible to others.
Stretching for a whole minute, the puppy finally opened his eyes, and stood up on his tiny legs, looking up at Sirius with wide eyes. You want to play? he thought. Ask them to let us out.
The puppy cocked his head to the side and Sirius couldn't help but notice how cute he looked, and he smiled internally. The past few weeks had been hectic, and he had lost his sense of beauty and other human emotions, his instincts only reacting to hunger and the memories of his lost -
He shook his head to remove the thoughts from his mind. Selfish though it seemed to try and forget about his best friends, he had realised that he couldn't really continue with his life if he kept thinking about them. Having a happy life was out of the question - for now, he decided to try and live a normal life, or as normal as it could be with the Dark Lord on the rise.
He knew he was being selfish - running away and taking shelter in a muggle area, leaving everyone else behind. Not that he had anyone left anyway - the Longbottoms, the Prewett twins, Marlene and her whole family - everyone was dead, and going back meant having to face the ultimate truth - that he was all alone in the world.
And he still wasn't ready to face it.
He thought of all the people who were now out there fighting - probably being killed, taken prisoner, being tortured - and he felt horrible guilt plummet through his veins, as he remained in his cage safely, with an adorable puppy to keep him company. Selfish selfish selfish. He kept repeating the words in his mind, as though it would help him drown the guilt that burned his insides. He felt tears well up behind his eyes, and he almost heard James's voice, dripping with indignation, You should be fighting, not sitting there and enjoying daily showers from them. You are a coward, Padfoot.
The word Padfoot stirred something inside him, and he hastily stood up, knocking the husky off his feet. He paced around inside his cage, trying to convince himself that James would never say that, he would understand. He was a victim of trust - they all were - and it wasn't easy getting over the fact that they had been betrayed by the one they had once considered a friend. If they had been killed by some Death Eater who somehow managed to sneak out information about their whereabouts, would he have felt this much guilt? Probably not.
The worst thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.
A low moan jerked him out of his thoughts and he looked down to see the puppy still sprawled on the ground, giving him innocent looks and whining to be picked up. He raised his brows at him, before walking over to him and helping him to his feet.
The puppy sprinted over to him and barrelled him with his snout as hard as he could, but considering his size, it only felt like a soft nudge. Sirius now fully turned his attention to him, and let out a loud growl, hoping to scare him, but it only encouraged him to play with him.
Sirius was quite amused by the puppy's behaviour. He didn't know why he insisted on stay with him even though he could easily squeeze out through the bars of the large cage. Maybe he actually likes me.
He had forgotten what it felt like to have someone who cared for him.
After some playful nudges, the puppy seemed to have grown tired, and he set out to accomplish his new mission - climbing onto the large dog's back. This time, Sirius cooperated wholeheartedly - he straightened his back, and stood as tall as he could - and the puppy tried to scratch his way up his body. It didn't hurt much - his claws weren't big or sharp enough to be capable of burying through his thick fur.
Several fails and falls later, he finally succeeded, and crawled over to the back of Sirius's neck, where he stood proudly. Sirius felt him licking his neck, and he smiled, grateful to have someone who actually liked him, and he allowed him a minute to enjoy his success before he tilted to the side, causing him to fall off his back and onto the ground.
He almost laughed, but stopped as he heard a loud whimper. He looked down to see the puppy lying on the ground in an awkward position. Immediately he felt bad - he hadn't realised that he was quite big, and for a small puppy like that, it would actually hurt to fall from his back. For a moment, he stood quietly, wondering what he should do.
After a second's hesitation, he went over and sat down next to him, and began rubbing his snout over the puppy's belly. His whimpering decreased, and Sirius licked his face until he finally stopped. Then, when he stood up, he nudged him with his snout, causing him to fall again. This time, he didn't cry, but attacked him back with similar, but softer, nudges. He had noticed that the puppy enjoyed pushing games.
❇
After he had checked out all the puppies in the nursing room, Remus washed his hands thoroughly, before he left to the cage room. He was thinking of taking one of the mastiffs for a walk, for he was to be leaving with his new owners in two day's time, and he wanted to spend some time with him. As he passed by the strange dog's cage, he saw an interesting sight.
The puppy, or cotton ball, was lying on the ground and whining, while the strange dog was rubbing his belly with his snout. When the crying stopped, they engaged themselves in a game where each one pushed the other as hard as they could, and in each round, cotton ball fell, only to be picked up by his friend. Remus smiled, and called in Nancy to take them out to play, while he went with the mastiff.
Outside, as he was busy playing fetch with the mastiff, he almost didn't notice the Black German Shepherd approaching him, until he stood right in front of him with cotton ball hanging from his mouth. He deposited the puppy in front of him, and nudged him lightly, as if telling him to stay there. The puppy listened, and remained still, allowing the dog to walk away. But when he was a few metres away from him, he ran, and was, once again, by his side, continuously nudging him with his face. Remus laughed, watching an annoyed expression grow on the dog's face, before he decided to help him.
Handing over the mastiff to one of his coworkers, he stepped towards the duo and picked up the husky in his arms. He was quite heavy now, and has grown quite a lot in a few days, but he wasn't strong enough to fight Remus and he kept a firm hold on him as he sat down next to the black dog, who gazed at him.
"He just wants to play with you, you know?" he asked, and the dog tilted his head to the side. "Or are you still mad about living in cages?"
He, of course, didn't reply, but Remus didn't need it anyway. Carefully, he put down the puppy on the ground, and immediately, he sprinted towards his friend and began jumping in front of his face. He watched the puppy for a second and lowered himself to the ground, allowing him to lick his face. Looking around, Remus brought a ball which wasn't being played with and rolled it over to the dogs. It was immediately snatched by the bigger dog, who ran away with it, the puppy chasing after him with as much speed as he could muster.
Remus chuckled to himself, wondering how the German Shepherd would react when the husky would be adopted, for cute dogs like him usually didn't stay in the shelter for long.