*Wednesday at 9:00am*
Anna's POV
I woke up next to my foster dad like usual in a bunch of pain with new bruises and cuts. Today was going to be a really hard day. I didn't want to sing the songs I choose, but at the same time I did. I can't explain how it feels to be on stage. I've been numb for so long now and I know as soon as I start singing all the emotions are going to come back. I'm scared. I'm going to Jake's today to get out of this house before the show tonight. I went and got ready and stuffed my blade in my pocket because I knew I was going to need it tonight. There was no way I'd make it through the night without cutting. As soon as I got done, Jake and his parents pulled up.
We just kind of hung out at his house until we had to leave. We were just talking and he brought up my performances for tonight. I had told him that I finally told Demi about the accident and I told him the songs I was singing. He couldn't actually watch me tonight because it was his grandpa's birthday and they were celebrating it. I understood because if I'd give anything to be able to celebrate another one of my papaw's birthdays with him. "You nervous for tonight?" He asked.
"Yeah, I always get nervous but I'm actually kind of scared this time. I just don't want to mess up and I want to make it special,"
"You'll do great. You always do!"
"Thanks, I wish you could be on stage with me. You always know how to calm me down and make me happy. It would be so much easier if you were up there with me,"
"I know, I'm really sorry I can't make it tonight Anna,"
"It's okay, I understand. Even if you could make it I don't think security would let you come up on stage," we both laughed and then it was time to leave. They dropped me off and I began warming up.
Demi's POV
It was about 5 hours before the show started and Anna was already there warming up and practicing. The contestants have to be there 3 hours before the show to go through makeup and stuff and to fit in some extra practice time. Anna was normally around an hour early, but this time she was even earlier. I knew she was really nervous about tonight. I mean I would be too if I were her. She had to learn three songs, she is singing with Leona Lewis, and the world is going to know about what happened to her biological family. I went and walked over to her. "Why are you so early?"
"I didn't have anything better to do so I'm here," I felt like she was still hiding something from me.
"Is everything okay?" I figured I'd try to get something out of her. I wasn't expecting it to work, but I gave it a shot.
"Yeah, everything's fine. I'm just a little nervous, that's all," Yep she was defiantly hiding something, but I didn't want to push it. It wasn't my business and she'd talk to me if she needed to...right? I let her go back to getting ready and I went back to my dressing room to get ready for the show.
Anna's POV
I had gone through wardrobe and everything and now the show is starting. I'm the first one to go and the first song I have to sing is Hurt. I had finally gotten control back fully on my left side so I'd be playing piano in the beginning until the song gets big. They started playing the clip of me telling Demi about what happened and that was my cue to take my place on stage. When I sat down at the piano I glanced at Demi nervously. She gave me a reassuring look. I was so scared. I really wish Jake could be up here with me right now. It'd be so much easier. I got the cue to start playing so I did.
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh ooh
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes.
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again.
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh, whoa
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh, oh, oh.
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Demi's POV
When they played the clip of Anna talking about everything that had happen there were some gasps in the audience and from the other judges. Anna got on stage and looked at me. She looked terrified. I tried to give her the best reassuring look I could, but I don't think it was much help. She started playing and that's when I noticed she had started crying. The first couple lines came out a little weak and you could hear her voice cracking from crying. It didn't sound bad though because she was still on pitch but she was making me tear up. When the song got big and she stopped playing the piano you could see every emotion she was feeling. This is the first time that she has every let herself go like this. It was so amazing and heart breaking at the same time. You could see all the anger, regret, and pain in her eyes. Before I knew it my makeup was getting ruined from my tears. The last two lines she sang completely broke my heart. There were pictures of her with her family on the big screens behind her. She turned around and looked up to them to sing the last two lines. The second to last line barely came out and her voice was cracking again and the last line came out more as a whisper than anything. I looked around the room and there was not one dry eye in the place. Even Simon had a couple tears running down his face. Anna stood there a minute crying before she came over to listen to our comments. When she came over to us all her tears had been wiped of her face and she gave a slight smile when she saw her standing ovation. You could tell it was forced. Simon had to start the comments because us girls were a mess. "Every artist could learn something from that performance. That was so raw and beautiful. Your vocals were great as usual too. I hate to admit it, but I think we might be looking at our winner," Anna thanked him and then Pualina started.
"Being a mom, I can tell you that your mom would be so proud of you right now. That took so much strength to get up on that stage and sing that whole song through tears. You, baby girl, are amazing," Anna's lip was now quivering and her eyes were glassy. She mouthed thank you to Paulina. I don't think she trusted her voice right now.
"I am a mess over here!," Kelly started and Anna gave a weak giggle. "I could not believe how amazing your vocals were while crying! That was the most emotional performance I have ever watched. You are inspiring so many people right now. Like Paulina said, your mom would be so proud of you," Kelly was still crying the whole time she gave her comments. Anna was trying so hard to hold back tears.
"I agree with the other judges. Your mom would be so proud of you. I'm so proud of you. I'm glad I finally got to you to open up to me some," I was looking at her right in the eyes the whole time I was talking. She was biting her lip trying not to cry. "It's okay to cry Anna. You don't always have to put on a brave face," She flashed me a weak smile. "I do think that we are looking at the winner like Simon said," And with that we went to the commercial break. I went on stage to Anna and huged her. She was still holding back tears, but she refused to cry. I pulled her back and bent down to her level to look her right in the eye. She tried avoiding eye contact but it didn't work for long. "You don't have to put up a front around me. If you even need to talk or just cry I'll be here for you okay?" She just nodded and I gave her another hug and got back to the judges panel.
The other contestants performances were good, but they all had a ton of dancers and everything. Anna's performances for tonight were stripped down. She stood out from the rest of them. Her next performance was Brave with Leona Lewis. You could tell she was exited to sing with Leona. Leona sang her parts directly to Anna. Anna looked at me a couple times while she was singing.
Angels lift you off the ground
I've got shadows weighing me down
Still you believe
You believe in me
I wish I could feel that way
You can trust so easily
I can't give you all of me
Still your holding on
When you should be gone
I wish I was that brave
You go to fight for love like a soldier
I wanna run away
You're never scared to walk through the fire
I wish I had your faith
I turn away
Knowing my heart could break
I'm so afraid to fall and surrender
I'm not brave
I'm not brave
Keep my guard up constantly
Stop this pain from piercing me
Now I dont know how
How to put it down
I wish I was that brave
You go to fight for love like a soldier
I wanna run away
You're never scared to walk through the fire
I wish I had your faith
I turn away
Knowing my heart could break
I'm so afraid to fall and surrender
I'm not brave
I'm not brave
Oh I'm not, Oh I'm not brave
Still you believe
You believe in me
I wish I was that brave
You go to fight for love like a soldier
I wanna run away
You're never scared to walk through the fire
I wish I had your faith
I turn away
Knowing my heart could break
I'm so afraid to fall and surrender
I'm not brave
I'm not brave
I'm not brave
I'm not brave
When it was over Leona hugged her and whispered something into her ear. She got comments from the judges saying how good she did singing with Leona and how good her vocals were and everything. Thankfully it went to commercial break after that so I got to go talk to her. "I could tell you were thinking of someone when you sang that song. Who were you singing it to?" I asked her. She looked down at her feet and started playing with her rings again before answering.
"Um well I was singing to Jake... and um you too," She said softly. She was so sweet. I pulled her into a hug and whispered into her ear.
"You are the bravest person I have met. Remember that," I let her go and I got back to the judges panel. After a couple more performances it was Anna's turn again. She sand the house that build me which is one of my favorite song.
I know they say you cant go home again.
I just had to come back one last time.
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam.
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar.
And I bet you didn't know under that live oak
my favorite dog is buried in the yard.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.
From 'Better Homes and Garden' magazines.
Plans were drawn, concrete poured,
and nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama's dream.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.
I got lost in this whole world and forgot who I am.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could walk around I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
It wasn't as emotional as her first song, but you could tell it meant a lot to her still and I was of course crying over it. She got the usual comments again. I don't think she's gotten one negative comment the entire competition.
After the show was over I went out into the lobby area. I thought all of the contestants had already left, but I noticed Anna was sitting alone in a corner talking on the phone. She sounded a little bit panicked. I waited till she got off the phone and then I walked up to her. "Is everything okay?"
"Uh yeah... J-Jake um just got rushed to the hospital. His parents are coming to take me to see him," She was freaking out.
"Is he alright?"
"He should be," Something told me that she was lying.
"Here give me your phone," She gave me a confused look but gave it to me. I put my number in it. "Here's my number. Call me if you need anything, even if it's just to talk. Okay?"
"Thanks Demi," There was a honk outside the door. "I gotta go now," she said as she ran out the door.