With the end of shooting of NCT Life's second and third episodes, everyone had to return back to SM building. From there, everyone could split and do what they had to do, whether it's for more work, practice, or merely free time. And in Jiwoo's case, this was her golden opportunity to confess her feelings to Jung Jaehyun.
After asking him to go to the supposedly good cafe with her through text was enough to get her extremely nervous. So nervous that she was visibly shaking whenever she stood still back on set. She just wanted everything to go well, and surely she could trust her best friend's words.
Jaehyun likes her.
The boy she likes, likes her.
There were enough clues to support this, wasn't there? She felt something, that itself should be enough for her to go with it. Besides, it's about time she dealt with these crazy feelings. Go all in or nothing. She doesn't want to make any more regretful decisions in her life.
"So, what are you going to do now that we finished today?" Seokju asked her when they had arrived back to headquarters.
The question caught her by surprise. "Oh, I think I was planning on stopping by this one cafe Minah-unnie suggested," Jiwoo answered, scrounging up as much courage to admit. Her voice slightly wavered, but it wasn't like she was lying about it. Just...that's not all of it. "It sounds really nice, and apparently a lot of our people go there."
"Ah, yes, I've never tried but I did hear they have a good reputation. I heard they recently changed ownership..." Seokju gave a grin over at his baby cousin, an arm resting around her petite shoulders. "Shall we try the cafe together? I don't think we've been able to hang out recently due to our busy schedules."
The young brunette's brown eyes widened at the suggestion. She whipped towards the man, waving her hand dismissively at him. No way in hell was he going to ruin her perfect chance today! "Ah, oppa, it's okay! I know how tight on time you usually are."
She got to add something to save her from this. "I'm sure you have paperwork you have to get to, so maybe I can pick up something for you instead." Her smile was forced, she's trying hard not to come off as suspicious. But for the love of god, she needs her cousin to not tag along with her. She needs her time to chat with the particular NCT vocal in private.
"I'm kind of hurt," Seokju frowned, his arm retracting from her shoulders. The tall producer clicked his tongue as he stared down his significantly smaller cousin. "You don't want to hang out with someone of your own blood?" Jiwoo could only grimace at his reply, nose scrunched at how whiny he just now sounded. "But fine, you're right. I should do some of that paperwork, I wouldn't want to stay here too late anyway."
"See, I told you," she chimed, inwardly sighing in relief.
"I'll check it next time then with Boram, you don't have to get me anything." He ruffled the girl's hair. "I'll go ahead up then. Don't stay there for too long."
"I won't."
Finally to her delight, Jiwoo watched as Seokju rushed off towards the elevators. With a huff, she turned and left the building to hail a cab. Her and Jaehyun decided through messages it would be less conspicuous if they had gotten separate rides to the cafe.
Least likely to be noticed by the staff and possible lurking fans. She doesn't want to imagine an article coming out within hours of: NCT's Jaehyun Enters Car with Mystery Girl?
Let's not risk that.
The ride to Queen Kona's had been relatively quiet, the only sound heard was the passing cars outside and the soft hums from the radio. She sang quietly along to some of the recent hits that played, she tried not to jam to hard when Russian Roulette began blasting through the old car's speakers. (She couldn't help but do a few of its key dance moves, though.)
Once arriving to the scene, she paid the driver and slipped out of the car in front of the cafe. The establishment was decently large for a typical cafe in Seoul, and the outside of it already shows how well-kept it looked. Through the big windows, Jiwoo saw how cozy the interior was. Even in one corner of the cafe was an area of plushy couches and chairs for people to lounge, read, browse their laptops, or whatever they wanted. She could possibly visit from time to time to write music there, the thought made her giddy.
She then noticed one particular person inside.
The woman, her black hair was chopped into an extremely short hairstyle, looked to be a worker of the cafe. Going to table to table greeting her customers with a gummy smile, even going into short conversations with some. The customers seemed very taken by her, pleased and ready to be chatting with the woman.
One specific, alarming detail about this employee?
She was bound to a wheelchair.
And suddenly, Jiwoo's heart felt constricted at the sight of it.
"Noona!" The hand on her shoulder jolted her out of her wits. The girl turned around in surprise, only to see it was Jaehyun behind her. His face, despite being half covered by a mask, contorted into a look of concern in accordance to hers. She had seen the millisecond change. "Noona? Why are you crying?"
She didn't even realize.
The moment she blinked, she could feel the droplets roll down her cheeks. She quickly tried to wipe them away, the embarrassment for crying so suddenly warming her face. This wasn't what she wanted to happen.
This wasn't supposed to happen. Not so out of the blue.
"Noona." Jaehyun had his hands on her cheeks, wiping away any tear that threatened to fall from her lashes. She couldn't even look at him right now. Only minutes ago, she had been so confident to confess her feelings to the boy, but now? She wants to leave, she wanted to go somewhere else. "Tell me what's wrong, noona. Why are you crying? What happened?" The bombardment of questions further strained her, but she knew of his good intentions.
"I'm sorry, Jae," she croaked out as she tried to dry her eyes. "I didn't mean to combust into tears just now..." Her lips pursed and trembled. "I don't know why I'm suddenly so emotional."
"Jiwoo-noona, you do know," Jaehyun uttered in a hushed voice, a kind of voice only reserved for her to hear. Fortunately, it was comforting. "I know you're lying. Please... I don't like seeing you cry like this. Should we go in and get some drinks to help--?"
"No." Her answer had been automatic. She paused as she really thought through things in her racing mind. "I don't know."
"Can you please tell me what's wrong, noona? You're worrying me half to death."
"Oh S--"
"J-Jiwoo-yah?"
The two young adults averted their attention towards the new voice. In the midst of Jiwoo breaking down, the woman she had been eying had noticed her through the window and had recognized her instantly. With all her might, she rolled her chair to the automatic doors as quick as she could.
Jiwoo clenched at her chest just staring at the older woman before her. The tears fell more than before, it was uncontrollable now that she was in hysteria. "Songyi-unnie," Jiwoo stammered through her sobs.
And just like that, Jaehyun glanced over at the wheelchair-bound woman, looking at her from head to toe. He could already guess what might've lead Jiwoo and Yoora to halt debuting as a group 5 years ago. He gripped firmly on Jiwoo's arms, holding her tight and rubbing her back to ease her. He couldn't help but gulp at who was supposed to be Oh Songyi, the last of the three of the undebuted girl group.
Songyi had wheeled closer to the two, steady and cautious, she couldn't believe her eyes either at the new visitors. Now in front of Jiwoo, she asked with a tone of bewilderment, "Jiwoo... Shim Jiwoo. Have you finally read the letter?"
Jiwoo couldn't even answer properly, her unstoppable hiccups and sniffling refraining her from doing so, so she merely shook her head from side to side. And in a meek, soft voice, she answered, "I was too afraid to."
"Then, this must've been destiny for us to meet on such a lovely day," Songyi replied. Her voice was just as Jiwoo remembered it, low but sweet like honey. A kind of voice that reminded Jiwoo of a motherly figure... which made complete sense as Songyi would've been the one to lead their group long ago. She would've been the perfect leader. "Please, can we talk?"
"Don't you hate me?"
There it was. The question she had dwelled on for the past five years, finally it was said to the right person rather than the other people around her.
"Jiwoo, I don't hate you. You think I would've sent you the letter if I did?" Songyi was tearful herself, more so on the fact that she had tried hard to meet with Jiwoo for so long. The day had come, and it was finally the time to let this all out. "Do you have time? I think it's about time we talk. I'll even give you and your friend a drink and a snack free of charge. How does that sound?"
What are the odds of this happening?
"Okay."
Jaehyun and Jiwoo had were inside the cafe's breakroom, just as cozy as the outside, if not cozier, and much more private. At this, the rookie idol was able to remove his mask and his cap, allowing himself exposed at the time being. They had sat at one of the tables, just besides together in the subtle silence. (They could still faintly hear music playing from the main area of the cafe.)
In an attempt to comfort her more, Jaehyun had his hand on top of Jiwoo's. She had a firm grip on his. It was very much assuring to her, and she was thankful that she had Jaehyun here with her. If she had been alone once bumping into Songyi by chance, she would've ran away. She wouldn't have found the courage to be in this very room right now, so they can finally settle things once and for all.
Jiwoo wanted today to be eventful for a different reason, but this was what she gets.
What a weird day this had been.
Moments later, Songyi finally entered the room with their drinks fully prepared. They were set on a personalized tray, which had its own cup holders so she could roll in her chair freely. She had also brought them a slice of what looks to be a strawberry cheesecake. She placed the drinks and dessert before the duo, her eyes instantly at their touching hands.
"So, I was about to ask who you may be, but it looks like I don't need an introduction," Songyi chimed, gaining Jaehyun's attention. "You're in NCT, aren't you?" The idol merely nodded in reply. "It's very nice to see someone from the company. I really like the music you've all been coming out with. I hope the greatest success with you all."
"Ah, thank you Songyi-sshi," he murmured out. "Also thank you for the drinks and dessert. I would've been willing to pay for all of it--"
The older woman waved her hand at him, "No, no. How would I possibly do that? Besides, I have more room to do these things since I'm the new owner of Queen Kona's."
At the statement, Jiwoo picked up her head. "You're the owner?"
"Yeah," she nodded with a warm smile. "New proud owner after two years working here. Kind of unbelievable for someone like me, right?"
Someone like me.
Jiwoo's face fell at such a choice of words.
Seeing this, Songyi reached over and placed a hand on the younger's shoulder. "Shim Jiwoo. Look, I want you to know that everything that happened, I don't blame you. I never blamed you. I don't blame you for this."
"How can you not?"
"I just don't. This happening? It was my fault," Songyi stated, her face stern.
"I wasn't worth it," Jiwoo huffed, the tears stinging her eyes again. "I was a brat and if it weren't for me then maybe the three of us would still be together... debuted and doing what we loved."
"Jiwoo, I need you to stop blaming yourself. It's not. Despite what happened in the past, I want you to know that we all just have to move on. I can't even imagine what you must've gone through these past few years if you were still thinking like this..." Songyi plucked a straw into the pink colored drink before her and held it out for Jiwoo. "Come on, I want us to be on good terms again, or at least okay terms."
The younger woman reluctantly took the drink into her hands and took a sip.
It was delicious.
"Jiwoo-noona..." The called-out lass and Songyi turned towards Jaehyun. He shifted in his seat awkwardly, not really comfortable getting the attention of both ladies. "Would you like for me to wait outside or something so you can talk privately to Songyi-sshi?"
Instinctively, she gripped Jaehyun's hand tighter. "No, if it's okay, I think I'd feel better if you stayed..." No more hiding. "Plus, this is something you and everyone are bound to find out eventually."
His hand tightened around hers too. "If you say so, I'll stay."
It was time they recollect their memories. And it was time for Jiwoo's friends to know this, to how she used to be. Besides... Jaehyun deserves to know that maybe she wasn't all she portrays herself to be.
"Jaehyun," Jiwoo uttered, looking at the boy straight in the eye. "I want you to know that I am the cause of everything. To me, Yoora, and Songyi not debuting and... to doing that." She referred to the wheelchair. She continued when Jaehyun made no reply. "I was someone who had been... probably was never ready to debut and lost myself as to why I was recruited into SM in the first place. I got too invested. I became someone you wouldn't be proud of."
I was someone you wouldn't like.
A/n: Backstory chapter next.