You stared at the little origami swan you had made and sighed.
Birthdays sucked when your mother wasn't around. Luckily, no one knew it was your birthday, and you intended to keep it that way.
Singing Happy Birthday silently in your room, your eyes began to water.
(Hearing Sebastian sing his own version of Happy Birthday on the OVA got me squealing in 1,530 languages like OMG)
But you put on a façade smile and stared outside, pretty much crumbling up your well-made swan.
~Sorry, but I'm time skippedy doo~
You stared at your food, barely touching it. Ciel noticed this.
(Of course, he always notices the small things but he didn't even notice the stack of cards Sebastian made you drop -_-)
"___, is something the matter?" Ciel asked, making you stop picking your food and look at the bluenette. You smiled.
"I'm doing okay, thanks for asking."
[Your POV] (yes, that is correct.)
I didn't want to lie to him. But this was something Ciel didn't really need to know nor get caught in.
Hopefully he doesn't know I'm lying to him.
[Ciel's POV] (Why do I hate myself so much?)
I know she's lying to me.
(You saw where I went with that, right?)
Yet I can't understand why. What is ____ hiding? I know she's unhappy, but why can't she tell me about it?
[Sebastian's POV] (I swear it's good this time!)
I see the young Lord staring at _____ quite suspiciously. Little does he know that she's gone depressive and maybe even suicidal.
Even better, her act is so impressive and her façade is so realistic and adequate, she could fool everyone like Grell Sutcliff did.
Still, I owe the (hair color)ette a lot for getting a cat.
Now, I truly am happy.
[Normal POV]
You went into your room and sighed unhappily, not wanting to think of anything.
~9:58~
You tossed and turned as if you were in a sea, your groans and pleas refusing to stop as nightmare after nightmare after nightmare replayed in your head again and again.
Finally, you woke up, dry tears on your pillow and on your face. You quickly and hastily wiped them away.
"Stop being so pathetic, _____," you told yourself. You knew what needed to be done. It just had to.
Quickly, you stepped out of bed and headed outside into the cold breeze of London.
You walked towards a cemetery and stopped at one gravestone. "I remember when I could smile and laugh without a single care in the universe, how I knew I was loved unconditionally and undoubtedly. Back then, I didn't have to put on a show to pretend I was happy, and I didn't have to act like I was someone or act someway I wasn't or didn't. I could roam freely without a harness, but now I'm trapped in this darkness, and I miss the light. I miss you, mother. And I'm doing fine, well not fine, but I'm alive as I've always. It's taken me all that I could to come here, but I cannot handle the sleepless nights. Seeing your dead body, your cold eyes, I can't erase what has already been damaged. Sometimes, I know it's silly of me to think this but, I wonder if you can hear me and is...watching me."
You collapsed on your mother's grave, not wanting to say anything else. But you continued. "Mother, if you can hear me now, just end it. Just end all the torment I have been through, make me whole again. Please don't leave me all alone. I don't want to be left, hurt like this. I want.... I want to go home. I want my mother. I wish I had died with you that night. Then maybe I wouldn't be sad."
You wiped your eyes, and chuckled. "Sadly, no one cares about what I want."
(This part shows a little weak side of you. It shows how sad you really are inside, and how much a smile can hide so many words. That was my objective. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cry.)
You went back home in a stiff manner, not wanting to have to face everyone's true smiles while you had to make a fake one for their sake.
You snuck back into your room, and in perfect timing. Ciel had went into your room by the time you had collapsed on your bed. He seemed hesitant, but confident, yet he was blushing crazily.
You sat up to face him. "____. I was wondering about something."
"Yeah?" You said accidentally apathetically. You tried to smile to hide how much you wanted to cry.
"____, will you marry me?"
And the curtains go down. No, I'm not saying, "OMG, it's all a dream!" Because that backfired in a way it shouldn't have, so no.
I'm maybe going to say yes on this part, but right now I'm so fucking creeped out by a Creepypasta story called The Man Who Looked Down, a movie my mom had told me about a movie called Seven, and I've read a bunch of creepypastas and now I can't sleep without having the feeling of someone watching me.
Just....just drop a car on my head. Tha-that'll make me sleep, right? (O_O)
So! I'm suffering from insomnia/insanity and well, it sux. I'm dealing with puberty, trying to refigure out my lifu (because apparently I'd be "wasting my time" just playing video games on YouTube and becoming an African-American version of Markiplier), and I can't stop not freaking out my mom.
And I fucking love it!!!! (Yes, I am insane, no I unfortunately don't get paid to be it.)
Okay, I'm done rambling about my pathetic lifu, onto why Ciel and you deserve your own plush toys- I mean! Not like I'm planning on doing that, like for realsies?!
And I've been realizing that when you lose something or one, it really changes their perspective. I mean, that's insane!
What kind of psychotic bitch with glasses and intense curly hair would write a villain's POV?
That...that's just insane....