Dan pulled up in front of our gate. Our housekeeper was there waiting outside.
"Magandang hapon po, Doc! Sir!" She greeted
"Kalmado ba ang Dragon?" I asked
She chuckled "Kalmado naman po, bagong ligo kasi. Nasa kusina po siya."
"Really? Nagluto ang Dragon?" I clapped, slowly "What a miracle!"
She winked "Opo naman! Uuwi ang pinakapaboritong anak eh!—Good luck, Doc!"
I squeezed Aga's hand and sniffed his shoulder "Are you ready for this?"
"I—I'm not that sure, but i'll do this — " he kissed my temple and whisphered "—all for you!"
"I love you" I mouthed
"I love you more, Babes!"
------------
Walking through the hallway leading to the kitchen, I rubbed my hands and held them close together "I can do this"
I gulped down a lump of worry rising up in my throat. I shouldn't be worried. I took a deep breath then stepped closer.
"Wow! S'mores bars!!!—are these all for me?" I kissed her cheek "Hi Mom! Long time no see!"
She pushed her glasses up to the bridge of her nose "No, not for you but for your visitor."
I bit my lip and held my breath as I gathered all the suitable words to introduce Aga "Mom, I came with my boyfriend with a basket of your recent favorites— lettuce and strawberries freshly picked from La Trinidad."
Aga placed the basket at the kitchen table top.
"Aga this is my Mom, Mom this is Aga." I introduced
Hello, Ma'am! I am Aga Morales" He offered a handshake "What a pleasure to finally meet you. I hope you'll like these lettuce and strawberries."
My mom smiled "You're too tensed. Just calm down, Hijo. Thanks for these!"
"Luch" My mom called the housekeeper "please put these in the fridge. Clean it first ha!"
Aga held out a chair, I sat down without removing my sight on my mother's face and he took the seat beside me. My mom placed the s'mores on the kitchen's table top. The smell is mouthwatering, this is real comfort food.
"Here's your coffee Lea—" my Mom offered "Ikaw? what do you want Hijo, coffee or hot chocolate?"
"Coffee po, Ma'am"
From the corner of my eye, I know Aga is looking at me
"What?" I asked
"Mabait naman ang Mommy mo, maybe you're just exaggerating things" he whisphered
"Wait for it. Just—wait" I chuckled
My mom sat down at the seat opposite to us.
"How's the s'mores, Hijo?"
There's something different about her. What's with the unusual friendly aura? I can't read her face nor her actions. I am used to see her being too impulsive.
"Po?— ahh, masarap po Ma'am! My first time to try this kind of food."
"Really?" My eyes narrowed, I dont believe him "You're kidding"
"Yeah— it's true! I'm not into sweets kasi but this one is good po."
"So, Where did you meet each other?" Her eyebrows flashed
Now, this is what I'm talking about—Wait for it.
I choked on my coffee
"Aahh—ang init ng kape!" I lied. Please God, help Aga to surpass this.
Aga clasped his hands "We met at the hospital. I was her patient."
She was looking at his clasped hands.
"I didnt expect that the Doctor would go beyond her duty in giving utmost care to her patient."
He smiled, widely. "The Doctor is kindhearted and lovely just like her Mom, how could I not fall for her?"
Oh no, not too spontaneous Mr. Morales.
My mom did not respond. Clearly, she didnt like Aga's opinion. He covered his mouth and he looked at me trying not to smile. He's so cute. I can't help but to laugh.
I shook my head, giggling "Babe, She doesnt like what you've said!"
"Sorry po, Ma'am"
She took a sip of her coffee "Scarlett and I met last weekend at Gawad Kalinga's medical mission. I was looking for you and she said you're off duty and was resting. Why'd you do that?"
"I'm from a nonstop two-week toxic duty, Mom— I deserved that rest. I'll be around the next medical mission, I promise."
"How about you, Hijo? Are you actively involved to any community outreach?"
"Yes Ma'am, we're more into supporting the promotion of a clean and green environment"
"Oh! That's good— by the way, basic question Hijo, what's your work?"
"Architect po Ma'am"
"Architect? So magaling ka when it comes to planning and decision making?"
"Yes Ma'am!"
"Ok, let me get this straight to you— "
"Mom!-" I interrupted
"Yes, Lea? It's better that he should know this. Meron pa ba akong magagawa para mapaghiwalay kayo? Knowing you— medyo mahina ka sa decision making when it involves the man you really like." she continued"Aga— Aga right? Do you know what is Lea's purpose why she is working at St. Paul?"
"Yes po, in preparation for Addenbrooke's Hospital specialization."
"Do you know that she received an email few months ago, the mail is a clinical specialization invitation she waited for three years from Addenbrooke! But I was disappointed, she rejected it and didnt gave any valid reason. It's just now that I've realized, you are the reason why she rejected the offer!"
"Mom-definitely, that is not true! he's not the reason why I declined"
"Whether you say it or not Carmela, I know he's the reason! You don't want to leave because you are in love with this man!- I just want to tell you Aga that I dont want the relationship you have! That-I still want her to have the specialization because that was the original plan before you came! I knew that this woman here is serious about you-choosing you over her dreams is something."
I covered my face and shook my head in despair. On the first place, it was my Mom's dream and it was her plan-it was never mine. I turned around and tried to walked out but Aga held my arm.
"Ma'am I understand that you want to push this through because it's the best for you daughter. If that is the plan-let that plan be realized."
I looked at him, he's full of confidence; He's a strong, patient and understanding man and I dont want to lose him.
"And because as you've said, I am the reason she declined then I will adjust with the situation-if it requires me to leave my career, my company and my family just to be with her in England-I will do it- not to satisfy the demand of the situation nor please you, Ma'am but because-"
He interlocked his fingers with mine and tightened his grip.
"I love your daughter so much and I will also choose her more that anything else in this world-more than the wealth, more than the fame. She's a treasure I want to keep forever, and I'll do everything to protect and not lose her"
My mom took one last sip of coffee. She raised her eyebrow.
"Aga!" I blurted "You will not adjust with the situation, you will not choose me, you will not leave, I will not leave—walang aalis!" I said "Mom—i already told you, I did not accept the invitation because I am already settled here. The company is paying me well and the staffs are easy to work with, what can I ask for more?"
"That is not valid— I am still not convinced! You are not thinking about what your future would be if you'll stay here!"
"Four years ago when I came home from England, I thought I cannot bear to live here forever because I was so down—I was so broke, the environment and the people around me are totally not helpful for coping up but now that I already find peace and able to fully adjust with the environment I am into—I have decided to not leave"
She tried to speak but held it. She calmed down and sighed.
"Ewan ko sayo, Lea." her brows furrowed "Matanda ka na! Matanda na kayo! Pagod na ako sa pakiki-usap na sundin ang mga payo ko sa'yo pero you dont take those seriously. I give up! I will took my hands off in your decision! Just— just prove to me you made it right this time. Huwag na huwag kang umuwi sa akin ulit na umiiyak at nasasaktan"
"I—"
"'We'—" Aga whisphered
"We—" I cleared up "We will do our very best! "
"So—this means...okay na sa'yo si Aga?"
"I dont know" she shrugged her shoulders "He still has to prove himself"
"Bonjour mes amours! Comment tout le monde fait?" Miguel my younger brother broke the tension
"Bonjour Achi" he kissed me on the cheek
"Bonjour jolie Mère!" he kissed my mom's cheek
He cleared his throat "Bonjour, Monsieur!" He offered Aga a handshake "I am Miguel Sarmiento, fourth in the brood——Sorry hanggang level two lang ang French language ko" he chuckled
"Finally... I met the man in our chatbox!" he added
"Miguel!— " I gave him the warning look
He looked at Aga and examined him. I can sense Aga's uncomfortability but he still managed to smile. "He's gay!" I whisphered
"I can sense" Aga chuckled
"Oh no, he can sense Ach!" Miguel teased
"Nope!" I pursed my lips "He's a straight man!"
"Oh? na prove mo na?"
"Hindi pa pwede"
"Virgin islands, Ach?"
"Miguel!" My mom warned
"Sorry— andito pala si mother earth!— here ya! I brought Beef wellington, Seared scallops—Mom's favorite and this Saint Emilion La Fleur Cravignac red wine"
"That's a good pair, Migs!"
"You think?... Please help me to plate up!"
"Sure, Honey!" We excused ourselves and left our Mom and Aga alone.
------------------
"Tell me, what's the judge's verdict?"
"Wala siyang nagawa" I laughed
"Bilib din ako sa 'yo Ach, ikaw lang nakakagawa niyan dito!"
"Kinabahan talaga ako kanina, my nerves almost ate me. I silently prayed that we can surpass the judge's critic" I paused "It's just that I stand for what I believe is the right thing to do—mahal ko eh!"
"Ayan! ayan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko Carmela!" He mimicked my Mom's voice
"Are you really sure with him?"
"Alam mo, lahat kayo 'yan ang tinatanong. Why?"
"Just—cautioning. I saw you when you struggled to stand up after you've been shattered down. I don't want to see that again."
"Well... Matanda na ako Migs, ayoko na maghintay pa. Baka ito na nga! And if this will fail again— hmmm.... i'll think about that if i'll get there na lang at least may experience na ako. Maybe, I can handle it well"
"I hope so.... but let's not think about that! Ano ba? Positive vibes lang Ach! I'm happy that I finally see you happy—yung real happy hindi faked."
"Faked? I never do that!" I lied
"Shut up—you're good at it! Sa sobrang galing mo, akala ng iba totoo. Best actress award!"
I laughed"Kapatid nga kita!"
-------------------
It's almost six in the evening and dinner's served.
"Who did this? A for effort sa plating"
"Pwede na ba, Mom? Can I pass to be a good wife now?" I asked
"Pero dapat, the side dish potato is not mashed and with a steamed asparagus and not these green peas and baby carrots. "
Miguel hissed "As in Mom? pati side dish walang patawad?"
They talked about Aga's new green building housing project over dinner. I ate heartily and kept my self just listening at their discussion. I wholly appreciate my Mom's fine treatment to Aga. I really hope it was real, I hope this is not a trial run she usually do. I am not used to see her the way she is right now—calm and sympathetic. I am thankful to whatever and whoever made her like that. Though, there are episodes in between the discussions that she returns to her 'dragon-y' character— straight forward and insensitive. At least, I warned Aga about that character she has. But i will keep this positive possibility that deep inside her she realized how important he is to me.
"Hindi ba uuwi si Zekie? Have you called you brother?"
"I saw him at the campus earlier, he said he'll try to go!—which would only mean, he's not coming!" Miguel explained
"Hay naku!" my mom sighed "Please tell Zekie, next time if there's a family gathering, he should be present kahit may project pa yan, kahit busy pa siya!"
"Mom, he's graduating—it is expected that he'll get busy!" I said in defense.
"Next week, I'll fly to England na, kailan niya ako dadalawin?"
"Tumatanda ka na nga Ma, gusto mo nang binibisita ka" I teased.
She raised her eyebrow "It is your obligation kasi Mommy ninyo ako!"
Miguel served the wine.
"Small amount lang Migs, he's taking medicine" I instructed
Miguel clicked his tongue "Mahirap talaga Sir kapag ang girlfriend mo ay isang Doctor— you're closely monitored"
Aga chuckled "She already told me that warning"
"Well— akin ka na lang, hindi ka mahihirapan!" he winked
"Miguel—" My mom warned again
"Joke! Peace po tayo! Joke lang naman Mommy! Ang seryoso mo!"
"Just please —act appropriately"
Miguel rolled his eyes and mouthed 'Okay...Fine'
--------------
They walked with us towards the gate where Aga's driver was waiting.
Before we entered the car, I hugged my Mom tight.
"Mommy!—thank you so much for today! Thank you because you gave time and allowed me to introduce this man to you; thank you for being nice to him. I know I may sometimes be hard-headed but please know that I always take your advice seriously."
She rolled her eyes "Liar!"
"Totoo, Mom!—may I ask if you're doing any activity recently? You've lost weight!"
"I enrolled myself to a Yoga class, three months ago"
"Wow!" Miguel and I said in chorus, astonished.
"That's good!" I nodded approval "Please continue your sessions even you're at England; that had significantly improved your mood to a much calmer and lighthearted person"
"What do you mean by 'had improved your mood'?"
"Ha?—errr— Yoga helps a lot especially at your age, it gives you a sense of inner balance; it's a great form of alternative medicine"
Miguel tapped her shoulder "Yes, Ma. I am proud of you!"
She seemed confused and tried to get our point.
"Bon voyaje, Ma'am. Enjoy England!" Aga said
"I should... but Lea's not coming with me"
"Ma— we've talked about this, mag move on ka na! Please send my regards na lang to Addenbrooke's" I kissed her cheek "Bon voyage, Mom! May you not come home soon!"
"What?"
We laughed
I finger pursed
"Joke! —Just kidding! Send my kisses to my little neice and nephews! I'll make a skype call once you're there!"
"I suggest you should bring Aga if you'll make the call so you can introduce him to your Kuyas"
My eyes widened. Did I interpret her point right?
"Again?" i clarified
"I said, you bring Aga with you... so you can introduce him to your Kuya Fred and Jeffrey!"
I grabbed Aga's hand "Have you heard it, Babe?"
"Yes!"
"Is that an approval statement, Mom? You haven't done this suggestion before!"
"I clearly said; he still has to prove himself" She smiled "right, Aga?"
"Yes, Ma'am!" Aga replied
"Asus—si Mommy! Tanggapin mo na siya as your only son-in-law to be!" Miguel teased
"It's getting late. We'll go na Ma!"
"Huwag mo kalimutan ang bilin ko sa 'yo, Carmela!"
"Ha? Marami po sila eh, alin po doon?"
Miguel laughed "Achi, yung ano daw—alam mo na, huwag muna!"
"Handle yourself properly. You've been there and I hope I will not find you there again. You're an adult and you're a professional; if things get complicated, think and decide as an adult and professional. There's no such thing as wrong decision or choice, they'll become wrong if you don't know how to make them right. How will they become right?"
"Assess, diagnose then treat" I answered
"Good!" she nodded in agreement
*****************
My heart is beating fast, essential tremors and cold sweats in my hands are noted as I read the contents of the e-mail I received. After two attempts of resubmitting my credentials— this important e-mail I waited for three years has finally arrived in my inbox.
University of Cambridge
Addenbrooke's Hospital
Hills Rd, Cambridge CB2 0QQ, UK
---------------------------------------------------
Lea Carmela Sy Sarmiento, MD, MHA
Unit Head
Emergency and Critical Care Unit
St. Paul's Global Medical Center
E. Rodriguez Sr. Ave, Quezon City, 1112 Metro Manila, Philippines
Dear Dr. Sarmiento,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted for Clinical Specialization under Emergency and Critical Care Unit of the hospital.
We have reviewed your credentials and performance record during Clerkship at the unit, we have determined your exemplary performance for the entire training year. Attached in this e-mail is an informative copy of the Terms and Conditions of your employment. We are also expecting you to pass the EU Licensure Examination for Physicians. Schedules for examination are posted in the University's official website.
For online processing of your licensure examination visit the official website of the University and click the Licensure Examination tab. All official transactions are controlled by individualized codes. Your control code is 1001AGMXPh-003442. For security purposes, please make sure that your control code must remain confidential.
Please process your examination as soon as you read this letter so you may start working as soon as you've passed. Examinees are expected to see the results after two working days.
This invitation letter and the control code is only valid for five years if no history of transaction processing noted.
Congratulations! We hope to see you soon in the hospital as part of the medical team!
Addenbrooke's Hospital
Clinical Residency Ladderized Course
for Immigrant Physicians
Office of International Relations
It was always my dream to be affiliated in their medical team. I was once hired as a Clinical Clerk at Addenbrooke's, it was at the time when I was sent to England for the purpose of coping up, of rebuilding myself—to finally breath out from all the exhaustion. When blinking, breathing and speaking all took so much effort that I thought I may as well give up: I was in a dark hole of sadness, anger and confusion. The silence does kill me and it was Addenbrooke who filled that silence. Its environment was a new hello from a hurtful goodbye. It helped me to rediscover the woman that I used to be and realize my worth.
Addenbrooke's Hospital is a teaching hospital in London. As an immigrant, I need to go through the ladderized system for Clinical immigrant workers of the hospital before I will be granted to take the licensure examination to be an EU doctor and practice medicine in EU or UK.
It was an easy three-step ladder. Clinical Clerkship is the first step; for a year, you will be trained as clerk in Clinical Medicine. Upon recommendation, you can proceed to the next step to apply for Clinical Specialization in your chosen field. If you'll be accepted, then you can proceed to take the licensure examination. If you passed—proceed to last step: one year probationary status as Medical Doctor then finally, you are hired as Resident Physician.
Luckily, I was accepted. I was the only Filipino, one of the ten immigrants among the thirty trainees of the hundreds of applicants who was granted the opportunity to proceed for Clinical Specialization and take the licensure examination.
It would be a dream come true to practice your profession as Resident Physician and be affiliated at the most renowned and leading hospital in the world — Addenbrooke's Hospital. Few immigrants are only granted with this because of exclusivity and stict policy of the Health System of UK.
I was almost there—almost there to the entryway of my dream but my father was on his deathbed, I need to go home and withdraw the track. It was not hard to choose my father over my dream because he is more important—because I love him. That was the only and main reason to leave with no doubts, no questions and no hesitations.
Once more, I submitted an intent for Clinical Specialization—still hopeful that they may grant my reapplication. This time, the system was revised. As I read the revisions, it was upsetting knowing that I was once granted, now that I am pursuing it—the system was revised. It was stated there that a 2-3 years of practice as Medical Doctor in an internationally recognized teaching/academic hospital are required for all immigrant applicants who intented to proceed for Clinical Specialization. With that, I applied and got affiliated with St. Paul's Global Medical Center—the only internationally recognized teaching/academic hospital in the country.
*******************
"What are you thinking about?"
"Ha—? I think about my mom's unusual behavior earlier" I lied
"You're overthinking it. She's nice naman, she loves you!"
"I hope so... it's too good to be true."
He reached out my hand and interlocked his fingers
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what?"
"Did you really declined the offer because of me?"
Woah. Our minds are in sync with each other.
I laughed "Ang gwapooo!!!"
"Yung seryoso?"
"Partly...yes"
"Why?"
"Why, 'why'?"
"So I will know what's the best thing I should do"
"What do you mean?... there's no 'best thing I should do', I think I clearly said earlier na hindi ako aalis, na hindi ko na tatanggapin ang offer."
"Why do you do that to yourself?—dream mo yun, you waited for it, you prepared for—"
I raised my voice "Stop! Just please stop lecturing, you sound like my Mom."
"I am not lecturing, I am just telling you that you should pursue it kasi sayang"
I crossed my arms and leaned back at the seat. I slightly open the car's window and tried to calm down.
This man has something to do with his lack of confidence in decision making. Maybe, he forgot that he once said to me that there are things in life that spiral from a single decision. Things that we have no control over and things that we could have never predicted.
I declined because I have found a new haven in my work as a lifesaver— it's somehow fulfilling. I declined because I've learned the process of stretching myself and found new opportunities. Lastly, I declined because I want to take my life slow. At times I find myself speeding ahead through life. I see friends getting married and having children, and I know I want that too.
"Dan, pwede ba dumaan muna tayo sa convenience store" he instructed the driver
"Okay po, Sir"
He got out of the car leaving me in silence. I can feel he got upset with my impoliteness. I gathered my thoughts and reviewed my words and actions. I should've not raised my voice. I realized that I'm not an independent being right now, I'm into a relationship with a man that has expressive personality and so I cannot avoid instances that he would intervene with my decisions. Well... I think that's something I should work out.
He came back with a white paper bag and handed it to me.
I squinted my eyes in confusion "What's this?"
He pinched my cheek "Mood stabilizer"
I opened the bag and there's one pint Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream
"I hate you!" I blurted.
He wrapped his arms around me and burrowed my face into his chest
"Sorry... I should've respected your decision. I love you, Doc!"
+++++++++++++
UP NEXT:
I rubbed the back of his neck "Are you nervous, babe?"
He sighed "Earlier I was, but you're here—so okay na ako!"
"I'll be inside the operating room, i'll do the scrub—assisting Doc Scarlett"
He touched my face and scooped my chin. He kissed me gently "I love you forever"
"I love you forevermore" I giggled
"You'll be fine, i'll make sure you'll wake up kasi po—" I took his glasses off his face, and traced the bridge of his nose with my index finger
—hindi pa po kita napapakinabangan. I laughed at the thought. Should I say it? No.
"Kasi... what?— why are you laughing?"
"Wala—wala, nevermind nalang"
I pinched his cheeks "Ang cute mo, babes"
We gathered at the scrubbing area. Two surgeons— Scarlett as the primary, the Anesthesiologist, three scrub Nurses, two circulating Nurse, and the three medicine students.
I saw Scarlett in her most serious face totally different from the room-mate Scarlett I knew. This is her at the operating room.
We started scrubbing before we entered the sterile area. I held my hands and forearms away from my body. The circulating Nurse put on my sterile gloves and tied my sterile gown.
The surgical lamp was turned on. The drapes are down to create a sterile barrier and maintain a sterile field during the procedure.
Scarlett started the procedure, skillfully.
Count clear?
Clear
Start final assessment
Pt. Morales, Aga
Anesthesia inducted
Pre-Op Case: Oblique nondisplaced fracture intermedullary nailing right lateral femur bone
Op Case: Removal of intermedullary nailing right lateral femur bone
Let's start procedure
"Antiseptic"
"Antiseptic" I repeated as I passed the item
"Blade 10"
"Blade 10"
The procedure went smooth not until her fellow manipulated the proceduce.
There was excessive bleeding around the site.
"What did you do?" Scarlett asked her fellow in her calm yet intense voice
"Suction at the site, suction at the site" she instructed
The scrub Nurse assisted her.
Still, there was an excessive bleeding. I kept myself calm as possible but I kept my eyes on her fellow. What the hell did you do?
"Blood level unstable" the circulating Nurse said
"Prepare blood transfusion. Prepare for possible code blue"
Shit.
The mask i'm wearing cannot hide the extreme tense in my nerves. I fist my hands and breathed deeply. Scarlett looked at me.
"Lumabas ka muna Lea, please"
What?
++++++++++++++++
Enjoy your day! I love you all ♥
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