Chapter 11
After a few minutes, James had given Devon back to me. I managed to feed him the last of his yogurt without it going everywhere, again.
The whole time I felt James watching me. Now that we were getting along again, he seemed interested in the fact that I was a mom. He no longer seemed to have the same point of view as before, when he just saw me as a teenage girl who got knocked up by her jerk of a boyfriend. James now seemed curious about how I managed to take care of Devon and how it had affected me as a person.
I threw out the yogurt container and put the spoon in the sink. I decided to grab another wet paper towel to wipe Devon down again. He was probably sticky.
Devon was sitting on the counter. I walked over and grabbed one of his hands. He started to squirm.
“Hold on Dev,” I laughed at how antsy he was. He was always like this whenever I tried to clean him up. “We’re almost done. Then you can go play.”
I dropped the arm I was holding and grabbed the other one, making sure to get all the stickiness off of his hands and fingers.
“It’s weird seeing you like this,” James spoke up from beside me.
I quickly glanced at him. He looked really amused at what I was doing. I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at him.
He laughed at my reaction.
“It would’ve been interesting to see you in the beginning of all this,” I could hear the smirk in his voice.
I dropped Devon’s arm and wiped his face off before throwing the paper towel out. I picked Devon up off the counter and sat him on my hip.
“I’m really glad you didn’t,” I turned toward my brother. “It was really embarrassing.”
“Oh was it?” There was slight sarcasm in his voice.
“Yeah, it was,” I stated as I left the kitchen and headed towards the living room.
James just laughed and followed me.
I shifted Devon, so I was holding him in front of me, and sat down on one of the couches.
James plopped down next to me. The expression on his face told me to continue telling him about my first encounters with Devon.
I sighed. “Okay, fine!”
Devon was now crawling around on top of me and grabbing at my hair.
“Well, I was never around babies a lot when I was growing up. I can’t really remember Drew as a baby because I was only two when he was born. So, I never really experienced… how to act with babies and how to take care of them and stuff.” I looked over at James and laughed.
“Seems like you were off to a great start then,” His eyes flickered between Devon and I.
“Oh, yeah,” I spoke sarcastically as I pried Devon’s fingers from my knotted hair. “I had hardly ever been around babies before and suddenly I had one of my own. I felt like an idiot with the silly faces and the baby voices I would make when I was playing with him. It was embarrassing when other people would watch. I actually started watching a lot of movies and those home videos that Mom took to see how to interact with him.”
James burst into laughter. “That’s where you learned your parenting skills from?” He looked at me like I was crazy.
“I’m serious!” I tried to keep myself from laughing with him. It did seem kind of ridiculous. “Me and Alex had so many movie nights with those! We were watching all types of baby videos even before Devon was born.”
“Oh God,” James was still chuckling as he rubbed his eyes. “You dragged that poor kid into watching those with you?”
“He suggested it! I told him that there was no way I was embarrassing myself and asking Mom those questions. She would go on these rants whenever I brought up the baby. She would tell story after story and… it was really overwhelming.” I grabbed Devon, who was nearing the edge of the couch, and pulled him closer to me again.
“I could see it,” James smiled and met my eyes. He was enjoying this way too much.
“She even made me go to those stupid classes,” I groaned at the thought of them and leaned back on the couch.
I hated those stupid pregnancy classes. All the moms-and-dads-to-be just sat around and listened to some lady ramble on about what to expect during your pregnancy and what was going on with the baby and stuff. They were embarrassing.
“Wait,” James sat up and looked at me in surprise. “Those are a real thing?”
“Unfortunately,” I muttered, closing my eyes.
“Did you drag Alex there too?” He started laughing again.
I ignored that question and stayed quiet.
“Madelynn, you did not!” His tone was very amused.
I sighed and opened my eyes. “Who was supposed to go? Ashton was completely out of the picture by then and I was not taking Mom with me! That would’ve been so embarrassing!” I looked over at him as I tried to defend myself. “I wasn’t going to go alone and humiliate myself even more! I was already, like, the youngest person there. Besides, there were only 5 classes!”
James was practically crying from laughing so hard at the fact that I had forced Alex to go with me.
I reached over and smacked his arm.
“Stop!” I started giggling at the sight of him. “It’s not funny! Those classes were so embarrassing! Just the stuff the talked about… They were so bad!”
Suddenly, the sound of a door opening could be heard. Both James and I looked towards the hallway where it came from. Alex had emerged from the bathroom.
Well this was just perfect timing, wasn’t it?
He walked into the living room and eyes James and I curiously, probably wondering what the heck what going on.
“Hey Alex,” James yelled over to him, still laughing. “How were those pregnancy classes?”
Alex looked a little confused at first. But then his face started to turn red.
“No!” He yelled back laughing. His one arm was raised to point at James while the other held a bundle of clothes. “No, don’t you dare bring those up!”
Alex walked over to where his bag was on the floor and bent down to shove his clothes inside it.
“I still have nightmares because of those!” Alex stated as he stood up and walked over to the other couch to sit on it.
“Me too!” I admitted freely as I sat up straight.
Devon crawled away from me again.
“Maddie, you’re a girl!” Alex pushed his damp hair back. “Plus you actually experienced all that stuff they showed in those videos, you went through all that! It’s normal for you to have nightmares about that stuff. I’m a guy! I did not need to know all of that! Those classes freaked me the hell out!”
It was kind of funny to see Alex so uncomfortable as he spoke.
“Well now when you have to go through that with some other girl, at least you’ll know what to expect.” I laughed and rearranged Devon so he was sitting on my lap.
Suddenly, it got quiet.
I looked back over at Alex. He was watching me bleakly. When I met his eyes he looked away, towards his hands in his lap, and let out a forced laugh. “Yeah,” he mumbled.
Alex’s reaction caught me off guard. I had thought he would make some kind of comment back or something.
I quickly turned to look at James, who was giving me a did-you-really-just-say-that look, but then he instantly broke the silence.
“It’s still hard for me to picture you with… a belly. I can’t imagine you actually having Devon… inside you.” He cringed.
“It happened!” I laughed. Boys always got so uncomfortable when it came to that kind of stuff. “There were nine long months of that.”
“God, it’s so creepy to think about that really happening,” James covered his face with his hands. His voice was muffled. “I’m so disturbed by the thought of you actually having a baby-”
“OKAY!” I stood up quickly, grabbing Devon in my arms. This was getting really embarrassing. “I’m not talking about this anymore!” I laughed nervously and began walking in the direction of the hallway. “There’s no way I’m discussing anymore details about this with my brother!”
I heard him laughing as I walked towards the guest room.
I set Devon down on his feet and wandered toward my bag. I dug a few baby toys out and zipped it back up. I walked back over to Devon and reached my hand out for him to grab onto it.
I lead him towards the doorway down the hall. I began walking to the couch again, towing Devon behind me. The way he walked was adorable.
Devon pulled his hand out of my grasp and quickly waddled to where Alex was on the couch.
“Hi Devon,” Alex picked him up by his armpits and set him down next to him on the couch.
“Hi,” Devon repeated him and smiled. Then he continued on with some baby talk.
“Here,” I went over and handed Alex the toys I was holding.
He nodded and looked up at me, grabbed them, and instantly looked away.
Our eye contact had literally lasted about half a second. That was… weird. Had I missed something in the past minute?
I went and sat down in my previous spot, next to James. I eyed him curiously wondering if he knew what was up. He just smirked before reaching to the small coffee table next to him. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on.
Devon was still babbling.
I looked over to the other couch.
Alex had his legs stretched out along the cushions and Devon was climbing on top of them. Alex had one of the toys in his hand and he was shaking it to get Devon’s attention.
Devon grabbed it and squealed. He shoved it in his mouth and began gnawing on it.
“You teething again Dev?” Alex dragged him closer and attempted to move the toy to look in Devon’s mouth.
Devon started squirming and whining as he tried to crawl away.
“Hey, Buddy take it easy,” Alex smiled and he let go, giving up.
Devon crawled across Alex’s legs to the edge that was closest to me. He held out his toy and looked at me.
“Mommy!” He shook his arm impatiently.
“What?” I looked back at him. “Is that for me?”
Devon just kept shaking the toy.
I got up and walked toward the other couch. Alex moved his legs so there was room for me.
I gave Alex a small smile and sat down. He smiled back but it didn’t reach his eyes. He seemed a little sad.
“Are you okay?” I eyes him curiously before I was attacked by Devon.
“Yeah,” Alex cleared his throat and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Before I could respond, Devon crammed his toy in my face. I turned my head away from it. It was covered in drool.
“Oh thank you,” I looked down at Devon and grabbed the toy. I started to play with it and move it around as Devon watched.
“It kinda sucks that he doesn’t look like you,” James spoke up from across the room.
His words startled me a little.
I opened my mouth to say something but ended up closing it. I just shrugged and continued watching Devon.
I tried to act like it didn’t bother me, like it wasn’t that big of a deal that my son resembled the one person that I hated the most. But, it did.
Every so often I would look into Devon’s blue eyes and see Ashton’s staring back at me. I tried to ignore it when Devon’s hair fell a certain way and resembled his. I had to pretend I didn’t notice the resemblance between them in order to keep the memories of him locked away. I didn’t want to think about him.
“…Did he ever,” James paused. His voice sounded slightly irritated. “Did he ever make an attempt to… see Devon?”
My brother’s voice tore me away room my thoughts. He was talking about Ashton. I sat in silence for a second before answering.
“No,” My voice was quiet. I turned my attention toward the carpeting in the room. “He was… long gone before Devon was even born.”
“Maddie…,” James seemed desperate to get more information out of me. “How long did he hang around for?”
I licked my lips nervously. I knew that James was still upset with Ashton for abandoning me and getting me pregnant in the first place.
I didn’t want James to freak out again. We had just started getting along for the first time in the past five days.
“I think I was about… two months along when I told him I was pregnant,” I took a deep breath and looked to where James was sitting on the couch.
He was watching me intently.
“I told him after school one day…He was too in shock to say anything then. He just walked away…” My voice trailed off and I cleared my throat. “We had a few short conversations after that, not in person though. Just over the phone or by texting.”
I glanced awkwardly at the floor again. It hurt to remember.
“It took him almost a full week to talk to me after I told him. He finally answer my phone call. He had stopped talking to me completely after a few weeks. I thought he wanted to help at first. Then he just realized he couldn’t do it… That he wasn’t ready…,” It was getting harder for me to speak. I had told myself that I wouldn’t think about Ashton anymore, that I’d forget him. He wasn’t worth it.
I had to tell James these things though. He needed to know.
I glanced over at James. He looked upset.
“So he just… abandoned you?” James stared at me in combination of disbelief and anger. “He never bothered to talk to you after that?”
I just shook my head. “He acted like nothing ever happened between us… Like we had never even started dating. He wasn’t ready to have a kid so he just…ignored it to make it go away. ”
James huffed angrily and placed his head in his hands. “I don’t understand how someone could do that. How could he just…ignore that and act like it never happened? How he treated you…”
I shrugged again. I was tired of talking about Ashton. I had tried so hard to forget him like he had forgotten me. I had been forced to remember him these past five days. It was the most I had talked or thought about him in a very long time.
I leaned back against the back of the couch and blankly stared up at the ceiling.
“I-It just kills me how I knew he would hurt you,” I heard James continue. “I knew he was going to screw up somehow… I had this feeling that he wasn’t as great as you thought he was. I should’ve stayed home a little while longer.”
“It’s not your fault,” My voice was quiet as I stared at the white ceiling of the apartment.
“All of this couldn’t have happened that long after I had left,” James sounded upset with himself. Like he somehow thought that he could’ve prevented it.
I thought for a moment.
“Yeah, I think it was about… five months after you left,” I looked over to see him watching me with hurt eyes.
“That soon, huh?” Yup. He no longer sounded angry. He was upset.
“That’s why I didn’t tell you!” I sat up straight again, meeting his eyes. “I knew you would want to come back home right after you found out. I couldn’t let you do that! You had just spent so much money to move… I couldn’t let you come back after you finally had everything all set up. You were just starting your new life and I couldn’t get in the way of that.”
He sat there for a second, thinking about what I said.
“I get it. It’s just that,” He hesitated. “…I don’t understand why it took so long for you to tell me.”
James looked almost heartbroken. I never realized just how much it would affect him. We had been so close before he moved and I had failed to keep that relationship alive by keeping everything a secret from him.
I couldn’t make myself speak as I stared at him, realizing how horrible of a person I was. How could I do this to him?
“She wanted to tell you,” Alex said. He must’ve noticed I was struggling with how to respond. “She would constantly complain about how she wished you were home and… how she wanted you to be there to help her through everything.”
“I know that you would’ve helped me,” I spoke up. I didn’t want to make him think I had doubted him. “I was just afraid of what you would think of me… You had always been so protective.”
James nodded, indicating that he grasped what I was saying.
We sat in silence for a few minutes.
Devon was playing with the other toys on the couch. He was babbling and talking to himself.
“Well, now that I know what you guys have been up to the past few years,” James stood up and stretched. “How ‘bout I show you what I've been up to?”
I stared at him with wide eyes from where I was sitting. I had a bad feeling about this. “What are you talking about?”
He smiled, amused at the obvious fear I was feeling.
“Why don’t I take you guys down to the gym?”
“Excuse me?” I looked at him in surprise. My disbelief caused him to laugh.
I quickly turned toward Alex. He seemed just as confused as I was.
I had never been an athletic person. The closest I had come to playing sports was in high school during gym class, but no one had really tried. We were just in the class because we had to be.
There was no way I was going to embarrass myself by my lack of athletic capability in front of my older brother. He was a boxer, he did that kind of stuff every day! The most physical activity I experienced on a daily basis was walking around the house.
AN: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!! Nothing really exciting happened in this chapter but, oh well. I also felt the need to rewrite the summary/description for this story so yeah. You can check that out if you want. Fun Fact #2- I got the idea of Uppercut from a dream :P