Joon Soo
When I awoke Wednesday morning I knew I had a busy day ahead of me. As I showered and dressed for work I planned out my day. This morning I would edit my articles, then before lunch I will call Baek Hu to see if he's up for seeing a movie tonight, then afterwards I had to bring the completed magazine to Kim Eum Shim for proofing.
But as I was heading out the door, my sister calling after my stopped me in my tracks.
"Joon Soo," she puffed as she caught up to me.
I was just about to get in my car. "What?"
"I need you to do me favour."
"I seem to be doing a lot of those for you lately. What is it?"
"Well, Seok asked me to the fireworks festival and there is no way eomma would let me go if I told her I was going with a boy, so... I mean, I guess you're already going with Audrey so it's not too much of a lie—"
"I'm not going with Audrey."
"Why not? She hasn't seen one before."
I shrugged. "Didn't think of it."
"You know, oppa, sometimes you really are an idiot. Festivals are the best way to see Korean culture! You better ask her!"
Ji Soo was right. Why hadn't I thought of it before? "Okay, I will. Thanks for the idea, Ji Soo."
"If you're really thankful you will cover me." She grinned at me and batted her eyelashes.
"Alright. I will."
"Gamsa, Joon Soo!" And with that she took off down the street in the direction of her school.
I added in my plan today to go see Audrey. For some reason my stomach started to feel odd. It was as if someone was tickling me from the inside. Am I getting sick? I shook my head. It's probably nothing.
*
After hitting okay, I stretched back in my chair and heaved a sigh of relief. The first magazine was printing. Then all I'd have to do is get Kim Eum Shim's approval and it would be ready to be distributed.
Once the printing job had finished, I bundled the pieces of paper together and neatly placed them in my laptop bag.
I still had to go see Audrey about the fireworks festival. I could have texted her, but the thought of seeing her smile seemed better to me. An image of Audrey's happy face flashed through my mind. Shaking my head, I got up from my seat. Why was I thinking about her smile? It's just because you're worried she's sad again, my brain told me. My brain was right. What other reason could there be?
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled Baek Hu's number.
"What's up?" he asked.
"Are you busy tonight?"
"Not at all. Why? You want to hang out?"
"Our favourite director's new movie is out today. Want to see it?"
The line went quiet.
"Baek Hu? You still there? Ryu Baek Hu?"
"Don't get me wrong, I really like his work, but there is no way I'm going with another man to see romance movie. I wouldn't even go see it with my girlfriend... Okay, I probably would because she can make me do anything, but no. Not with a guy."
"Oh come on! We see all of his movies together!"
"Sorry. I will have to sit this one out. Take Ji Soo?"
"I can't. She's not allowed out on school nights. And she wants to go to the fireworks festival this weekend so eomma won't be lenient at all."
"That sucks. Go on your own?"
"Then I will look pathetic."
"Take a student from your class?"
"A student? That's inapprop..." But then I had an idea. "Actually, there is someone I can take." I glanced at the time. Audrey's next class would be over soon, then she'd be heading to another. I had to hurry if I wanted to ask her. "Baek Hu, I'll talk to you later. I just thought of someone to ask."
"Okay. We still should catch up though. Want to get coffee at our usual place when your movie is finished?"
"Yeah, sounds good." I hung up the phone and took off to Audrey's class, nearly running into people on the way. Why did her class have to be on the other side of campus?
When I finally got there, I doubled over, panting. I had to calm my breath. It would freak her out if she knew I ran here for something I could have texted her about.
Suddenly the classroom door opened and people began spilling out. I moved over to the wall and leaned against it, crossing my arms across my body, trying to act like I wasn't out of breath.
I saw Audrey walk out of the building.
"Hello stranger," I said.
She spun around and looked at me with wide eyes. A small smile slipped onto her face.
My heartbeat quickened. What was wrong with me? I must be getting sick. I can't even run now without feeling off. Trying to ignore my sudden illness, I pulled the tickets I had purchased yesterday afternoon out of my pocket and held them up. "Free tonight?"
*
"Han Seol, wait!"
Han Seol turned around, tears streaming down her face.
"Why are you pushing me away?"
"Because I have to."
"Why?"
"Because, no matter how I see it, we can't ever be together. Don't you get that?"
"Is this because of my parents."
"No," she lied, turning to look away from him.
The male lead walked up close to her and put his hand on her face, forcing her to look at him. "Well I don't care what my parents say. I don't care if they disown me. Nothing they say or do will stop me from wanting to be with you. Saranghae." He pressed his mouth onto hers.
I looked around the cinema. Girls were awing at the love scene. Some had smiles on. Some were even crying. Out of the corner of my eye I glanced at Audrey. She wasn't showing any expression. She was looking at the screen but it seemed like she wasn't really watching it. Did she not like it? Our conversation on top of the N Seoul Tower popped through my head.
"Yeah... I mean, it's cute. It's a nice idea. But it's silly to believe things like that."
"Like what?"
"That love lasts."
Had I made a mistake bringing her here? Did this movie remind her of whatever made her hate love? Was this person that hurt her the same person she spoke about living with for a while before she went quiet last week at lunch? Something in me wanted to pull her close again like when I saw her cry that time. But I didn't want her to get weirded out by it. And that's not what friends should do.
I turned to look back at the screen. I came to see this movie. I shouldn't be overthinking things. She was probably just tired from studying all day.
I reached over to grab some popcorn when my hand collided with something. Looking over, I saw Audrey had also tried to get some popcorn. My face started to heat up and I withdrew my hand, nodding at the popcorn as if to tell her to help herself.
I'm definitely getting sick.
*
We were walking back to my car after the movie. Audrey kept quiet.
"I really like the director of that film. I always go to see his movies. It was the first time he did a romance though," I said, trying to break the silence.
But Audrey didn't respond.
"Did you like it?" I asked, trying to get her to talk.
"It was very nice," she said. Her answer was curt and voice was flat.
"You didn't like it, did you?"
"No, I did! I swear," she said more enthusiastically.
"Good!" We kept walking to my car.
We had nearly reached the university. I still hadn't asked her about the fireworks festival. For some reason I was struggling to find the right time to ask her.
She had opened the car door and I quickly blurted out, "before you get out I want to ask you something."
She hesitated with her hand still on the door handle. She turned to look at me.
"This weekend there is a fireworks festival. I was wondering if you'd come with me?"
She was quiet for a moment. "Did you get free tickets?"
I shook my head. "I just want to take you there. Don't worry. I'll pay."
Audrey bit her lip. Something was playing on her mind. "Can I let you know later this week? I have an essay due Monday and I'll have to see if I get it done before then."
"Of course." So it was just an essay she was worried about.
"Thank you for inviting me," she said as she got out of my car. "I had fun."
"Thank you for coming, Audrey." I smiled.
"Where did you learn to pronounce my name correctly?"
"My sister got up me."
"Ah... Well I don't mind being called Eodaree if it's easier for you. Even if you want to call me Daree."
"Okay. I'll keep that in mind."
She closed the car door and I took off to go meet Baek Hu. My stomach kept churning as the image of her biting her lip flashed through my head. Normally she'd accept my invitation. Why didn't she? What was stopping her? Did I say or do something wrong?
*
"And so then I said— Are you even listening to me? Joon Soo? Hey! Park Joon Soo!"
My head snapped up from my phone to look at him. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"Why do you keep staring at your phone?"
"I'm not." My eyes flickered to it. It lay faced up on the table. I was waiting for Audrey to text me that she'd come. Joon Soo, it's been an hour since you dropped her home. There's no way she'd have her essay done by now, I reasoned with myself. But she could at least message me to tell me she got in safely, I thought.
"You're still looking at it. Are you waiting for an important call?"
I turned to look back at him. "No."
"A text?"
"Not really."
Baek Hu's eye's suddenly widened and his jaw dropped. "No!"
"What?"
"No way!"
"What?"
"It's a girl you're waiting for a text from, isn't it?"
I scoffed. "No... Well, the person is female but it's not what I know you're assuming."
"Did you go see that movie tonight?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Did you take someone?"
"Yeah."
"Who?"
"A friend."
"Joon Soo, I've known you since we were six years old. I know every friend you have and I'm the only one you have left. So don't tell me it's a friend."
"Believe it or not, I have made some friends at my new job."
"Oh yeah? How many?"
I tried thinking over the people I've met. The students weren't friends. The closest I had was Hye Ri and she hated me. Then there was Kim Eum Shim, but she was my boss. There was the admin lady but... The image of her batting her eyelashes at me flashed through my head, causing me to shudder.
Bright green eyes looking up at me through thick lashes. The large smile spreading across her face, showing her white teeth. The only friend I had was Audrey. "One," I admitted.
"And what gender is this friend?"
"What does gender have to do with it?"
"Female," he confirmed. "And this was the friend you went with to the movies tonight?"
"What does that have to do with anything? What are you implying?"
"And you can't stop checking your phone? Do you smile when you get a text from her? Does your stomach squirm when you see her? Does your face heat up if your skin touches hers?"
"That's just a coincidence. I'm feeling sick today."
Baek Hu stared at me, deadpanned.
"What?" I demanded.
"The poor boy has been alone so long that he doesn't realise when he likes a girl."
"I don't like her."
"Yes you do."
"No I don't."
"You'll realise it sooner or later."
"No I won't, because I don't like her."
"Then why are you so anxious about getting a text?"
"Because I'm worried about her."
"And you're worried because you like her."
"I'm worried because she's my friend."
"Who you like."
"I don't!"
"Then why are you worried?"
"Because..."
"You like her?"
"No... When we met, she reminded me of Min Ho."
Baek Hu fell silent, the smile dropping from his face.
"The first two times I saw her, she had this... vacant stare. It was like she forgot how to laugh. Then the third time we met she started crying when I smiled at her."
"But you have a handsome smile!"
"Exactly! She told me when she had stopped that it was because I smiled that she cried. No one had smiled at her since she had been here but me and it was the small act of kindness that meant everything to her. It had me thinking, what if someone did that to Min Ho? Would he still be here? So I decided to become the person I wish Min Ho had before he left... I decided it was my duty to cheer her up and remind her that things get better so long as someone's there. I was trying to make up for not being there for Min Ho."
Baek Hu nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry for teasing you. But isn't it wrong to just hang out with someone because you want to make up for not being there for your brother? Which, by the way, was not your fault. You couldn't have done anything to stop that."
"I know. That's what I realised. She was supposed to message me after we hung out the first time which had me worried. But rather than worrying that she had left the country or had done what Min Ho did... I was mostly upset that I'd never see her again. I enjoyed spending time with her. I enjoyed seeing her smile. It made me smile. Her happiness felt so important and I hated the idea of not being able to see her smile again. That's what made me realise I wanted her to be my friend. I wanted to see her more often."
The same cheeky grin as before spread across Baek Hu's face. "I knew it. You do like her!"
"I do not!"
Baek Hu shook his head. "Babo."
"Babo? I am not."
"Look, I'll drop the topic after this because I'm speaking to a complete babo, but, if this girl reminded you of Min Ho then that would upset you. If you were hanging out with her just for that reason, then it wouldn't mean anything. But the fact you decided it had nothing to do with your brother and it was just because you wanted to see her and spend time with her and make her happy... When you put someone else's happiness before your needs and when seeing them happy makes you happy, that's when you've fallen for someone."
"Baek Hu, really, I don't like her. She's my friend."
"Why don't you like her? Just because she's your friend? That's how most relationships start. Give me a reason why you don't like her."
"Well..."
"Come on. Every time a girl confessed to you, you could think of a million reasons why to refuse her. Tell me what's wrong with her."
I racked my brain for something, but came up empty. "Why does there have to be something wrong with her?"
"Then what's stopping you from admitting you like her?"
"The fact that I don't like her?"
He stared at me, deadpanned, again. "Play along, please."
"Okay, let's say I did like her, which I don't, it would never work out."
"Why?"
"Because she's a foreigner."
"Where's she from?"
"Hoju."
"Hoju? Hoju? A westerner? Your eomeoni would kill you!"
"I don't care what my mother thinks." He was right about that though. Eomma's idea of the perfect wife for me was a nice Korean girl. Any other nationality was completely off the table.
"Okay, so if that doesn't matter, what does?"
"Well, at the end of this year she will be going home, won't she? It's her last year studying. She came here to finish her degree."
"Thinks like this could be resolved. Say it doesn't work out, you still have the year. If it does, you can marry her and she can stay or you can go there... not that you'd last seeing as you suck at speaking English. Give me a better reason."
"Okay, let's say I did like her then, which I don't—"
"Yeah, yeah, you don't like her. Moving on."
"Say I confessed to her, what if she didn't feel the same? It would end up like every female friend I had. They got upset I didn't accept their feelings and we stopped being friends. What if she did that? I don't want to lose her as a friend. She's very... refreshing."
"The girl cried because you smiled at her. Do you really think something like that would make her forget you're her friend?"
"Okay... then reason this. She doesn't believe in love."
"You're perfect for each other."
"Not like I do. The way she talks about it... It's like someone really hurt her. She believes everything ends."
"Then you just have to show her what a great guy you are."
"What do you mean?"
"When you wake up and realise you like her—yeah I get it, you don't. But when you do, take her on a proper date. Treat her. Be romantic. Don't act like friends. Then confess. Then you can date and, over time, you can show her that you won't hurt her. Because our Joon Soo has waited this long to like someone that there is no way he'd stuff it up... intentionally. And he'd never intentionally hurt her."
I nodded. "But I don't like her."
"Oh shut up."
*
I laid down in bed and stared at my messages. She still hadn't texted me. Did I do something wrong? Did the movie upset her? Was she okay? I set my phone down.
Bing!
Immediately picking up my phone, I opened my messages.
Audrey: Thank you again for the movie.
Me: It was my pleasure. I hope you didn't mind seeing it.
Audrey: I didn't mind seeing it. I really liked it.
Me: How's the essay?
There was a delay in her reply. I thought she might have been typing a long message, but all she sent was nearly done.
Me: So you'll come to the fireworks festival with me?
Audrey: We'll see.
Me: Why? If you're nearly done what could hold you up this weekend?
Audrey: We'll see.
Audrey: Goodnight, Joon Soo.
Me: Sleep well, Audrey.
I rolled over and pulled the covers over my head. I wanted her to come. I wanted to see her face light up like it did when we went to the temples. I wanted her to laugh and enjoy our culture. I wanted to see her smile.
What's stopping you from admitting you like her, Baek Hu's words rang through my head.
I rolled over. I rolled over again. I don't like her. I'd know if I did, wouldn't I?
I shook the thoughts from my head and closed my eyes. At least I wasn't feeling sick anymore.
__________
Word list:
Saranghae- I love you
Babo- fool/idiot
I agree with Baek Hu though. Joon Soo really is a babo.
Surprise! I'm uploading two chapters this week :) I already have up to chapter sixteen written so I thought I'd put some up a bit more frequently as I'm way ahead of schedule. I may upload two again in a few weeks if my uni schedule is still copable. I stockpiled my chapters so that I can take weeks off writing when I have assignments due as I never balance these things out. So far I am balancing which is amazing.
Anyway, this story is about Audrey and Joon Soo, not about me.
Don't forget to follow me, vote, and comment. Let me know if you also think Joon Soo is a babo.
Next chapter will be up in about 3.5 days (Sunday Australian Eastern Standard Time).