Joon Soo
"Park Min Ho! Where are you? Min Ho!" I called out as I stumbled down the dimly lit street. There were no cars driving along. It was just me, the sparse street lights, and the trees lining the road. "Min Ho!" I called again. He mentioned he'd be heading this way. Where is he?
Suddenly, in the distance, I saw a car pulled over on the side of the road. As I got closer, I recognised his number plate. I started to run.
"Min Ho! Where have you been?" I demanded.
I rounded the vehicle and fell to the ground in shock. The car's front was smashed up on a tree. Min Ho's body lay over the dashboard, his head protruding through the grass.
"Min Ho. No. Min Ho!"
I leapt to my feet to pull his body from the car, but the moment I touched him he disappeared. He was gone in an instant.
My eyes flew open. My breaths were short. Sitting up in bed, I looked around my dark room. It was just a dream. It wasn't real. At least, it wasn't happening now.
Grabbing my phone, I checked the time. I still had four hours until I had to get up. Laying back down, I pulled the covers over my head and slowly fell back asleep.
*
I was showered, dressed, and ready for my first day as an editor for Seoul National University's magazine. I was more casual clothing this time, however, I still sported a suit jacket and long ironed pants.
"Joon Soo!" my mother called out. "Hurry up! You need to eat before you go. You can't work on an empty stomach!"
"Coming Eomma!"
I took one more look in the mirror, smoothed back a stray hair, and grabbed my bag. Sitting next to my sister, I placed my bag behind me, picked up my chopsticks, and starting digging in to my rice.
"Make sure you eat some meat, too," my mother said, pushing the plate filled with beef pancakes towards me.
"Gamsa, Eomma," I said, loading up my rice with pancakes.
"Why does Joon Soo get spoiled and I can only eat egg and rice?" Ji Soo demanded.
"Because Joon Soo finally got a job. Here, have some kimchi too." Mum pushed the kimchi toward Ji Soo.
I picked up a beef pancake and placed it in Ji Soo's bowl. "Have one of mine."
She grinned at me. "Thank you, oppa!"
"You're welcome, dongsaeng."
"Make me look like the bad guy..." mum mumbled.
Our father sat down at the table. "First day of work today, Joon Soo?"
"Yes, abeoji," I replied.
My mother set food down in front of him. "Here you go, Joon Ho."
"Thank you, yeobo. Make sure you do well so you can get a proper job after this, okay?"
"Will do, abeoji. I won't let you down."
"Yes. Don't."
The family chitchat ceased and we all finished our breakfast then headed our separate ways.
*
Masses of people walked around me as I walked through Seoul National University, trying to find the administration office.
"Sillyehamnida," I said as I approached a group of students talking to one another at a nearby table. They all stopped talking and eating and turned to look at me. "I was just wondering if you could point me in the direction of the administration office?"
"You've already passed it," a young guy said as he pushed his glasses up his nose. "Remember the main gate you entered?"
"Yes."
"Well you're not supposed to walk through that. Instead you want to take a left and it's the second building. You should see the sign from there."
"Oh! Well I shall head back the other way then. Gamsahamnida!"
*
"Can I help you?" the lady at the front desk asked.
"Yes. I'm the new editor for the SNU Monthly. I was told to come here to meet..." I glanced down at the email on my phone, "Kim Eum Shim?"
"Let me just check if she can see you right now." She picked up the phone and said a few words then hung up the phone. "You can go on through. Down the hall, up one flight of stairs, and it's the third door to the right."
Following the woman's directions, I wandered off to Kim Eum Shim's office. As I went up the flight of stairs, I was greeted by a two-way hallway. Is it the third door to the right down the right hallway or the third door to the right down the left hallway? I decided to take the right hallway and started walking down. I read the names on the door and none of them said her name.
"Park Joon Soo?" a voice called from behind me.
Spinning on my heel, I saw an ajumma poking her head out of the door.
"In here," she said, popping back into her office.
I hurried back down the hallway to her office. "I'm sorry for being late. The woman at the desk gave me directions but she never said which way to go down the hallway."
"That's okay," the woman said, not looking at me. "Have a seat."
With a slight bow, I took the seat opposite her on the other side of the desk.
"I'm Kim Eum Shim," she started, "head of journalism at SNU. I used to run the magazine, but I don't have time for it this semester. I've started a research project so I was going to cancel the magazine, but then Choi Tae Min told me about you. He's my brother."
"Brother?"
"I took on my husbands' last name."
I nodded in response. "Thank you very much for this opportunity. I won't let you down."
"I hope you won't. Did you work on your university's magazine?"
"Yes I did. I also got a few articles published in some Seoul newspapers. Not many. And I didn't get paid. But they did publish me," I told her honestly. "Would you like to see my portfolio? I brought it with me."
"That's not necessary. My brother looked at it and I trust his opinion." She rarely glanced up from the papers she was shuffling in front of her. I was concerned to be working here and she wouldn't even recognise me if I passed her. Finally, she came to a stop when all the papers were in one stack. She looked up at me. You will have to present the top paper to Miss Hwang downstairs to get a staff ID pass. They should be able to sort it out for you this morning. I've already placed notices up around the university and spoken to the students I had publishing in the magazine last year that haven't graduated yet. You should have a bit of a turn out. You're welcome to dismiss any work you don't deem suitable. Remember you are the editor and this magazine is representing SNU. I will expect a copy of the first month's magazine before it is submitted for print. After that you will have full free reign for the next five months. The magazine will still run through the break. Treat the students as your journalists. Fire them if you must and advertise for new ones if you need more. Anything else I haven't mentioned, such as where to submit, style guides, types of columns, et cetera, is all in this booklet I prepared for you. It's about 40 pages long so you may take a while to read through it. Please do so before your meeting. I counted for the time it would take to do all the backend paper work this morning and have lunch, so your first meeting isn't until 1. I think that's all. Any questions?"
Do you have any breath left? I wanted to ask. "None at all. I think you covered it."
"Good. If you find you need help, just ask one of the students who worked on the magazine last year, or if you have any questions about official information, ask the admin ladies, but if it is journalism specific, my contact details are in the booklet."
"Great."
"You may go now."
"Gamsahamnida." I got to my feet and bowed to her as I left the room.
I spent the next hour filling in employment paperwork (which seemed rather pointless considering I was not getting paid), getting my picture taken, and waiting for my ID to be printed. Miss Hwang gave me a lanyard to go with it and handed me a booklet about working with SNU.
I was about to head out the door when she called out behind me.
"Oh! Joon Soo!" She caught up to me and handed another piece of paper. "Don't forget this." She handed me a map of the university. "I've highlighted the path of how to get from here to the nearest cafe, then to the room you will have your meeting, and how to get back out. It will take a while to get familiar so don't lose this. We used to have maps around campus, but they were so old that they are being reprinted now and won't be up until next week. Remember, don't lose it. This place gets confusing your first time here."
"Thank you, Miss Hwang." I smiled at her.
Her face tinted red as she turned around and headed back to her desk.
*
"Good afternoon, team. Jeoneun Park Joon Soon imnida. I will be the editor of SNU Magazine for the next six months. Please look after me." I gave a small bow to the students sitting in front of me. I didn't expect what followed.
"Ne, Seonsaeng-nim!" they said in unison, bowing back.
I was used to being on their side of the power hierarchy that for a moment I forgot I was their boss. I would be receiving the same treatment I gave past teachers and bosses.
"Well it seems we have a good number here. If you all wish to join the team, we won't have to look for more or get rid of anyone. However, if your articles aren't good, then you may get cut from the team if you don't improve. Is there anyone here that was last year?"
Half of the students raised their hands.
"Good. We will go through introductions shortly. I want you all to tell me your name, whether you've been on the team before, and what type of articles you'd like to write. From there we will organise our magazine concept based on majority vote. As in, will we be writing straight news? Will we be writing about SNU only? Will we be doing a section magazine? You get it. When it's your turn, please stand and introduce yourself. Who would like to start?"
The first woman on the right stood up and introduced herself. "Annyeonghaseyo, seonsaeng-nim. Jeoneun Kim Hye Ri. I am in my final year of journalism. I was on the team for the past two years. I like writing fashion columns."
"Very good. Who's next?"
Everyone took it in turns introducing themselves. In the end, we had a few more women than man. However, surprisingly most women were interested in world or national news over fashion or celebrity gossip. By the end of the meeting we had decided to have a sectioned magazine, with some world and national news at the front, with fashion and entertainment toward the back.
"It was very nice meeting you all. I look forward to working with you. Now that we have our sections established, some of you may have a few interests and write articles for cross sections which is fine. However, each section needs a student in charge who discusses with others whether their article is worth researching or if their concept needs to change. These section editors will also have to read articles before being submitted for your part or suggested at the meetings which we will do every week. This way we don't waste time with people brainstorming. Instead, brainstorm together. To decide on those editors, any of you interested, please email me three of your best articles in this field to this email address." I wrote my new staff email on the board. "Any other questions you may have, send them to this email as well and I will get back to you as soon as possible. From Monday through to Saturday afternoons, that's 1pm to 5pm, this room will be my office and I will be in here editing your articles and getting the magazine ready. We will also have some arts and photography members coming in for the design. I want you guys here, when you're not in class, on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays sometime between those times. I will email you when a meeting is compulsory. Please make sure you check those. Other than that, this meeting is dismissed. See you all on Wednesday. I hope you have some ideas ready."
*
I was sure it was somewhere here. I had come to a stop at a park bench, fishing through my hand bag in the attempt to find my map. I had wondered too far from the classroom to remember my way back in case it was there. In defeat, I closed my bag. I had definitely lost my map.
Looking around, I tried to see if anything looked familiar. I decided to keep wondering. I had been walking for five minutes and still hadn't found the perimeter of the uni that would lead me back to the front. I had to ask someone. I didn't want to admit I was lost. But of course I'm that awkward guy who has to ask someone. Who gets lost twice in one day?
I looked around, trying to find someone who didn't seem too busy. Sitting on a bench in the distance, I saw a long-haired girl close her laptop and put it in her bag.
"Sillyehamnida, I am trying to find the..." but I trailed off as the girl turned around. "Oh!" I exclaimed. "From the airport! Hoju saram!"
She looked me in the eyes and her eyes widened. "Oh! The person who helped me! Annyeonghaseyo!" She bowed.
"I didn't think I'd run into you again. In all of Seoul... This is such a coincidence."
"Yes, it is, isn't it? Did you need something?"
"Oh! Yes! I almost forgot. This makes me feel slightly less embarrassed to ask a familiar face. I've already been lost today but now I am again."
"Are you a student here too?"
I laughed in response. "No. I'm too old for that."
"A lecturer then? I didn't think you were that old."
"No. I'm the editor for SNU's magazine."
"Oh... I didn't know they had a magazine."
"Yeah. They do. Are you studying journalism? You could join if you are good."
"No, I'm a literature major."
"Literature? That's interesting. Don't you study different books in Hoju? Like Western books? I'm sure they teach more Eastern books here."
"Yeah, but it works mostly on an elective basis. I've already taken half of my classes in Western literature, so it will be interesting to switch it up. We only have to study six literature classes to complete the major, along with filling up the degree with other classes, like core classes and electives. I am also doing a writing major, but I've already completed four of those classes. Just two to go. I was going to take a journalism class next semester."
"That's a shame. I probably won't be here next semester."
A familiar distant look passed across her face as if something I said triggered her. She wore the same expression at the airport. Shaking her head, she turned to look at me. "Anyway, you were lost?"
"Yes! I was lost. I'm trying to find my way to the front gate, but I don't know the way back."
"Well, it's my first day on campus. I spent the weekend unpacking in my dorm, so this makes two of us, but I have to go do something outside of campus anyway, so we can get lost together." She fumbled around in her bag and pulled out a map. "We are her, I think, so we have to walk..." she looked around, "that way." She pointed ahead of us.
We started walking, she guided us by following the map.
"Did they not give you one of these?"
"They did... but I lost it already."
She stifled a laugh.
"It's not funny! I had to ask someone how to get to the admissions office on the way in because I got lost and now I'm lost all over again."
"You're just a lost person, aren't you?"
"A little."
For some reason, her own comment made the smile slip off her face, and the distant expression came back. What was she thinking? What was always troubling this woman? Don't people normally go overseas to have fun? Why hadn't she made friends already? Why was she here? Was she a lost person too? But I didn't ask. I didn't even know her name. How could I ask these things? They weren't my business. But I knew there was something I could do for her.
"You know, when I was younger, my sister was mad she didn't have any sisters. Instead she had two brothers. So I used to get dressed up in girly clothes and she'd do my makeup," I told her, trying to get a smile on her face. She had quite a contagious smile.
"How young are we talking?" she replied.
"Well... she was probably ten when she was getting into makeup. So I was... not that young."
"How old were you?"
"A teenager."
"Like, 14?"
"Nope."
"How old is your sister?"
"19."
"And how old are you?"
I hesitated momentarily before answering. "26." I wasn't embarrassed by this story. I enjoyed the time I spent with Ji Soo. I felt sorry for her at the time because she wasn't making many school friends and mum was too busy then to play with her. I was supposed to be studying, but she wanted someone to play with. However, if dressing up like a girl made Ji Soo crack up, then maybe this woman would.
She did the maths in her head and suddenly her eyes popped. A smile spread over her face. Success. "You were 17? Do you have pictures? That would be hilarious! Does your mother show any girls you bring home?"
"Oh my mother definitely would show them."
"Would?"
"I don't bring girls home." We had reached the front gate.
"No?"
I shook my head.
She stared at me for a moment, then suddenly clamped her hand to her face. "Oh, I'm so sorry. For a moment I forgot about the different cultures. In Australia we are quite casual about these things to strangers. I'm really sorry for prying. Joesonghamida." She gave a deep bow.
"You don't need to apologise. It's fine, really. My mother is worse."
"Okay... so are you just not interested in women or...?"
"Tell you what, I have to get going before the traffic gets bad. If we ever run into each other again, then I'll tell you about it."
"Okay. Sounds like a deal." She smiled at me.
"Annyeonghaseyo."
"Annyeonghaseyo."
With that, I headed off to my car and climbed in. That was not a topic I enjoyed talking about. Usually I just lied and said I've had girlfriends. Why did I tell her the truth? I didn't even know her name. Why did I even care about making her smile? I glanced over my shoulder at the entrance gate. We've run into each other twice now. If it ever happens again, then maybe I need to know her name.
*
"Na wasseo!" I called out as I entered the house.
"Joon Soo! Great! I've been waiting for you. I have to talk to you about something," my mother said, getting up from the lounge to greet me at the door. She took my jacket off me and grabbed my bag. She was being nice. Too nice. "Are you hungry? Would you like me to make you something?"
"No I'm okay. What's up?"
"Come here, Joon Soo. Sit next to Eomma on the couch." She led me into the living room. I didn't like where this was going. "So you know you're really important to me. You're my son. And your needs are very important to me. Likewise, I hope my needs are important to you."
"Of course they are eomeoni."
"That's great to hear. So today I went out for my hair dresser appointment when I ran into Dang Kyung Hee."
"Okay." Where is this going?
"We got talking and I told her all about you and that you're starting your career. She was delighted to hear. She said her daughter," here we go, "Ahn Mi Ah is currently in journalism. She's the deputy editor of a fashion magazine." Great. "I told her you weren't seeing anyone." Fabulous. "I didn't mention you refuse to see anyone, of course. Eomma is looking out for you." Sure you are. "Anyway, I said I'd speak to you first, but maybe you'd like to go on a date with her."
I stared at her, deadpanned. She promised to wait six months before pestering me again. And here we were, on the first day, discussing an arranged date. I wanted to shout at her, but I didn't want to cause trouble. Instead, I rose from my seat and walked off to my room. "
"Remember you said my needs are important too, Joon Soo!" my mother called out behind me.
I grabbed out my headphones, slipped them into my phone and started playing music, refusing to listen to mum yabbering outside of my locked door. I pulled the introduction information out of my bag and started reading through it again.
*
I had taken my headphones out a while ago now and was reading through some of the articles students had already forwarded through. I had already decided on the fashion team editor. My mother had stopped knocking an hour ago. However, it didn't last. Another knock sounded from the door.
"What eomma?" I called out.
"It's me," my sister's voice replied.
Getting up from my seat, I walked over to the door, unlocked it, and let my sister in, closing the door again behind her. "What's up?"
"Is eomma bothering you again?"
"Most definitely."
"More arranged dates?"
"Yup."
"She needs to stop."
"Yes she does... Anyway. Did you want to talk to me about something?"
Ji Soo looked around my room. "Can I sit?"
"Of course."
She sat on my bed, cross legged. I sat down opposite her. "This is something girls would normally talk to their mothers about, but you know what eomma is like."
I hoped it wasn't anything too girly, like monthly issues.
"There's this guy..."
Phew.
"We are in the same class together and have been sitting next to each other since freshman year."
"You like him?"
Ji Soo nodded. "But that's not all. Today he slipped me a note. It's a confession."
"A note? He couldn't tell you?"
Ji Soo looked down, blushing. "He's rather shy."
"That doesn't bother you?"
She shook her head.
"Then what's the problem?"
She looked up with me with a frustrated expression on her face. "It's just... I don't know if now is the right time." She collapsed backward on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Like... Why couldn't he have confessed last year? Why now? Why in our senior year? Why when I now have to focus on studying and don't have time to go on dates and things?"
"You will still have weekends for a while before you get too busy. And you will also have holidays."
"That's true... but... I don't know. Like, how would I even accept him? Do I write a note back?"
"Well, he should have told you to your face. Communication is important. But I say tell him yourself that you feel the same way. If he tries slipping more notes, send them back and tell him he has to say it."
"But how do I just accept him?"
"Tell him your feelings."
"But that's embarrassing!"
"You have to start somewhere, Ji Soo."
"How did you confess to the first girl you liked?"
I went silent.
"Joon Soo?" She sat up and stared at me. "Don't tell me you never confessed to her."
"There was never a her."
"What do you mean? You never liked anyone?"
"I mean... I thought some girls were pretty, I had close friends, some of them even confessed to me... and I've had my first kiss with girls I thought were pretty but... I never confessed or anything. There was never a girl I actually liked. So there was no one to confess to."
"That must be horrible!"
I shrugged. "Some people enjoy other people. I enjoy writing. Words are my friends and romance."
"That's boring."
"Don't be like eomma."
"Right... sorry."
"It's okay."
"You can't tell her, by the way. Eomma that is."
"Of course I won't. She'd kill you and find a way to separate you from him. Definitely won't tell her. Just don't make it obvious. Say you're hanging out with friends if you're on a date. Say you're studying at school."
"I don't like lying."
"Unfortunately you will have to when it comes to Eomma."
Ji Soo sighed and fell back onto my bed. "That's true. Why is she so frustrating?"
"Who knows," I replied, falling onto my bed next to her. "She just is."
_____________________
Word list
Gamsa- thanks
Oppa- older brother/older male from a younger woman
Abeoji- father
Yeobo- honey
Dongsaeng- younger sibling (from older boy or girl to a younger boy or girl)
Seonsaeng-nim- teacher (Not always about a teacher, just someone who knows more or can pass on information or knowledge).
Joesonghamida- I apologise
Na wasseo- I'm home
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