Jax's lips descended down upon hers in a soft cautious kiss. She barely heard or even recognized the sigh mixed with a moan as she pressed herself into his heat as much as her stomach allowed. Jax responded to her with another tender kiss against her soft lips, as if he was still holding back. He seemed to want to resist himself from becoming too lost in this.
Once her fingers traveled up to his long blonde locks it seemed to break the wall that was restraining him as he surrendered to the kiss. He deepened the kiss as he nipped at her bottom lip, his tongue demanding entrance that she readily gave him. His mouth tasted faintly of beer that somehow made her desire heighten as it reminded her of that night.
Delilah found herself being picked up and placed on his countertop as he fit snugly in between her thighs and the new position seemed to unlock a fury of desire in Jax. Jax broke the kiss and placed open mouth kisses along her jaw to her neck and she gasped while he simultaneously grinded into her bringing a throb of desire to her center against his growing hardness.
Delilah remembered how she found herself lost with Jackson Teller that night. She didn't know how she could forget his skilled lips.
As this tingling sensation intensified between her legs, it seemed she was hit with a wave of realization and quickly pushed Jax away, her mood deflating, "Jax stop."
Jax quickly backed away from her his eyes filled with concern, "What's wrong?"
Delilah quickly jumped down from the counter and put as much physical distance between them so she could think clearly. "We shouldn't do this."
"What?" Jax confused his voice hoarse being clear evidence of how much he wanted what happened and Delilah knew exactly where it would have headed if she didn't stop it.
"We shouldn't have done that." Delilah repeated more to herself than him.
"You have got to be shitting me," he let out a condescending laugh, "Seemed to have wanted it as much as me, darlin'." Jax retorted hotly.
"Jax, I'm sorry, alright, I –"
"Don't patronize me," Jax snarled at her.
Delilah pursed her lips at the irate biker before she spoke softly, "Jax, we should just be friends."
As she said it, it seemed as if the air left the room and she felt suffocated by the look that Jax sent her way. It immediately made her want to take the words back as she didn't even mean them, but they flew out like a reflex from some fear she had when it came to Jax – to their whole relationship. She knew she spent so much time overthinking.
"We were never just friends, darlin'," Jax informed her. His voice was dead and bleak and his eyes immediately left hers as he made himself busy with grabbing a beer from his fridge, "You should go," he added on, dismissing her.
"Jax-"
"Just go, please, I need to put the second coat of paint on. You can see yourself out." Jax told her as he looked at her blankly and Delilah just nodded in resignation trying to hide the hurt and tears that threaten to spill at his dismissal of her, but she unearthed it from him by her obvious rejection. Delilah brushed past him and quickly left the house and swallowed the fact she might have ruined something.
Delilah didn't go immediately home. She found herself sitting in the deserted parking lot outside of Hanna's diner where the open food service provider's bright luminescent lights were beaming on her like a spotlight. She knew if anyone was curious they could easily see her tear-stricken face that was all her fault.
She didn't know why when her mind caught up to her body she reactively froze and pushed him back. A part of her was telling herself that she was just protecting both of them and their unborn son. She based their attraction – their connection – solely on the fact that they were having a baby together.
She knew they were getting incredibly close. She had started to notice mundane little things he would do like when he was frustrated, a lot was on his mind, or if he didn't know how to navigate himself in a situation he would run his ornate hands through his long blonde locks and lock the strands behind his ears.
When he was in her presence and itching to smoke a cigarette he would constantly play with the lighter to quell his nerves.
She knew his favorite Reaper accessory beside his kutte was his Reaper crew hat surprisingly. However, his SONS rings that he wore on his left hand were his ultimate favorite accessory that went into the category of his kutte, she should clarify.
She also knew he liked the KD sunglasses she found for him to wear on his bike. She got him a pair of clear lenses and shaded and although he was surprised by the gifts, she refused to accept any payment for them. She knew he really liked him and she already caught him admiring them and showing them off to the guys a few times.
Jackson Teller hated pop and if he did drink it, he preferred Sprite. His favorite drink besides an alcoholic beverage was just plain old water. He told her his favorite food was anything his mom made him, but recently her cooking him baked mac n cheese with bacon, egg noodles, and 7 UP ham were now in his top three list of favorite food and he promised her he would never tell his mom about her usurping his taste buds.
It wasn't surprising that Jax didn't watch TV, but she had made him start watching Breaking Bad and since he didn't have HBO she made him come over to watch True Blood.
She knew Jax only owned another pair of boots beside his white Nike sneakers that were steel-toed black boots that went along with his simple wardrobe of baggy jeans, t-shirts either plain or stamped with a SAMCRO logo and flannels. She knew he didn't normally wear cologne, but if he did wear some it was Tommy Hilfiger something he wore since he was in high school.
She discovered Jax liked to read and he preferred the quiet life on the road instead of being at the clubhouse or its parties sometimes.
Jax's favorite color used to be blue as he told her green was starting to become his favorite and it didn't take a genius to know why.
These thoughts only made Delilah cry harder.
Delilah didn't know how long she sat in that car but eventually after the painful hiccups subsided her son started kicking in her belly along with a loud growl indicating that they both were hungry. She did her best to ignore the looks that were sent her way no doubt because of her puffy red eyes as she placed her order. She rather be here, instead of at her uncle's because she did not want to explain her emotional turmoil that was heightened by her pregnancy hormones.
Delilah had swiftly eaten the hot greasy food in front of her that immediately made her regret it as she was trying to maintain a healthy diet knowing her son's health prognosis and clogging her arteries wasn't very beneficial or nutritious to the life growing inside of her. Delilah was working on her chocolate milkshake when a voice interrupted the silence she needed for her mind.
"Delilah, are you okay?"
Delilah looked up into the concerned eyes of David Hale, the Deputy Chief of Charming PD. "I'm fine, David, just a rough night."
"Do you mind if I sit?"
"Go ahead," Delilah nodded.
Despite Charming being so small, Delilah hadn't seen David except in passing as he did rounds in his cruiser around the neighborhood. Unlike Unser, he did not look the other way when it came to the SONS. He looked for any reason to pin the SONS to something to get them off the roads of Charming.
Plus, she knew personally one sector of the Hale family was still bitter about her dumping Sebastian and she thought it was best to steer clear of all of them. She knew David never treated her differently since the breakup that was six years ago, but despite David's high honored role in society his family took it with a grain of salt and she knew Vivian, David's aunt, and Sebastian's mom, would have no problem shaming her especially in her situation. Only if Vivian knew how Sebastian still was friendly with her.
"Congratulations on the baby," David stated politely.
"Thank you, David," Delilah said as she placed her hands on her stomach, "it was a pleasant surprise."
"Well, I can say it surprised all of us. I do recall you vehemently stating you didn't want kids."
Delilah held a slight frown at David's comment as it was one of the reasons she broke up with Sebastian. He wanted a family, the whole thing, and she didn't at that time. She knew he would have sacrificed his dream – his desire – of a family because he believed she was the one, but she couldn't do that to him. She knew back then he always told her she would change her mind, she never knew if she did as in college she was more indifferent to the idea of kids. She was too focused on school and when she found out she was pregnant with Abel, she didn't have a crisis. She just accepted it and was happy with the thought of being a mother.
"Well, that was close to 7 years ago life happens," Delilah said before taking a sip of her milkshake. People change, she thought in her head, but some people stay the same.
David offered her another smile as he leaned forward on the table his voice lowering a few decibels, "Is Jax the father?"
"Yes, he is," Delilah informed him and she felt a little pang in her chest at the mention of Jax as she remembered why she was here in the first place.
"Is he the reason behind your puffy eyes?" David asked cautiously with a touch of anger.
Delilah furrowed her brows at the change in David's voice and her eyes widened at the implication hidden beneath his words, "David...he would never. We just had a disagreement, not that is any of your business, and on top of pregnancy hormones I overreact."
"Del, if –"
"Oh come off it, David, people argue and have disagreements and I don't like the insinuation that Jackson Teller, the father of my child, would ever put his hands on me, and I would appreciate it if you would find another topic of conversation or you can leave and tell Vivian all about this encounter," Delilah said hotly and left no room for argument.
David immediately put his hands up in a surrender motion as he eyed the other customers in the store who had looked over concerned at the harsh tone of Delilah's voice. "I'm sorry, I overstepped a boundary. I shouldn't assume things...I'm just worried –"
"There is no reason for you to be worried about me David," Delilah quickly intercepted.
"It's my job to be concerned about all my citizens in Charming."
"Even the members of the SONS," Delilah added and watched the pinched look that came across his face.
"Despite my assessments of the club, I know Jax will take care of you, but I would just hate to see you and your child get hurt by him and his club, but I will be a better man and say I hope will work out for you. I know I should be biased since you did dump my cousin, but you are a great girl, Del, and I hope Jax sees that and will appreciate that because you deserve the best and not to be here at Hanna's diner this late at night crying over him." The deputy said bluntly to her.
"I appreciate your concern, David," Delilah said with a tight smile.
David simply nodded his head and got up from his side of the table and gave her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder, "It was good seeing you, Del."
Delilah looked at her melted milkshake the appeal of it no longer desired. She didn't know how to interpret David's words or their meanings. She was too focused on if she should indeed give Jax some space. She read the clear hurt and disbelief of rejection in his body as it became clear no one had ever outright denied him and then she had to add on that they should just be friends. She knew they could never just be friends; they had crossed this invisible line that prevented them from ever staying in that bracket, emotionally.
Delilah didn't know how long she sat in that diner or how long she rode aimlessly around Charming until she was back in front of that one-story blue and white house. However, this time there wasn't a bike in the driveway. Delilah should have used that as an excuse to let him cool off presumably. In any of her relationships, she never was one to outright fix anything. She didn't chase. She never tried to resolve things. It's only now because she realized in her past relationships she didn't have anything to fight for or at least wanted to.
Delilah got out the spare key Jax gave her and walked into his dark and quiet house. She knew he wasn't there as there were no signs of life. She saw that he had indeed started putting the second coat of paint on the walls, but it could be seen that he stopped mid-swipe before completely abandoning the task. She saw the paint splatter on the protective wrap for the carpet and knew he threw it in anger. He even left the paint lid open.
As she closed the lid to the paint, a frown settled on her lips as she contemplated how much of what she did hurt Jax. She turned the light off to Abel's room and mindlessly began picking up little items around his house like fixing his toiletries in his bathroom and picking up the discarded clothes on his bedroom floor. She didn't know if she was possibly going to infuriate him even further by crossing his personal space as she tidied up his place. She didn't even know why she was doing this as it was some weird apology or olive branch. However, as time passed and she put away the last dish in his cupboard. She knew he wasn't going to be coming home soon and if she was smart she would have just gone home herself, but she told him that they needed to talk about things. If anything between them was going to work, they needed to communicate with one another. So she went to the only other place she would find him: the clubhouse.
Delilah parked her car in an abandoned spot at the clubhouse. There were a few people scattered outside of the dark and brooding building near the boxing ring, but it wasn't packed. She saw there only a few bikes near the ramp, the President's bike noticeably missing, but she recognized Jax's bike in its designated spot.
As Delilah crept closer to the clubhouse, she could hear the faint music of Guns N' Roses blast through the stereo system, she knew she was out of place in her simple outfit and pregnant belly. She felt the double glances from the people outside and even say a few sly smirks from the croweaters that she assumed knew who she was and to her mistake, she didn't hold any weight to the smirks.
As she opened the door, her senses were insulted with booze, sex, weed, and leather. A smell that despite made her wrinkle her nose, was a welcome one due to its familiarity of growing up around it. Luckily everyone seemed to be too far gone to register the new presence in the room while she tried to find a familiar face in the crowd. All were occupied and the blonde mop of hair was nowhere to be seen.
However, she knew her mind was scarred by the acts she was witnessing because unlike the girls at the studios, she was friends with some of the people sharing two girls at one time. Finally, she was able to locate one friendly face that wasn't actively taking part in the debauchery. Delilah made her way behind the bar and she registered the shock that came across Kip's face as he almost dropped the bottle of Jack he was putting on the shelf.
"Del-Delilah, hi, um...does Jax know you're here?" He asked her with wide eyes as he looked scared and did a once over of the crowd as if he was hoping someone would save him.
Delilah pursed her lips into a thin line as she clutched her fist in her hands. "I was just actually looking for Jax. I saw his bike outside...so I am going to presume he is in the back in his dorm." Delilah watched what she would describe as fear register across his face. "Are you okay?" She knew Kip was a Prospect. She had a vague idea of what that meant and entailed, but he looked pure frightened and she was concerned about his well-being. She was going to ask if he needed to take a break, but his words stopped her.
"Yeah, I'm fine, but uh, Jax I haven't seen him." He said as he couldn't meet her eyes.
Delilah raised an eyebrow, "Well he isn't outside and not here. I am just going to check his dorm." She informed and she saw Kip going to refute, but someone came to the bar demanding a drink giving her the perfect chance to escape.
Delilah turned the corner and passed John Teller's bike as she went to the door that was last at the end of the hall. Her brain remembering her feet making these similar steps with Jax's warm and calloused hand wrapped around her wrist, guiding her. His intentions were clear that night and she was too far gone in the fact Jax was looking at her as if she was the only girl in the world. Now that she was here outside his door, Delilah didn't even consider what she would find at the other side of that door or even what she would say to Jax. On top of the fact, it seemed only the music from the main room was filling her thoughts. Delilah enclosed her hand around the doorknob and pushed the door open.
_____________________
Jax watched Delilah's hurt frame quickly close the door to his dorm. She didn't even slam it, just closed it quietly muffling the music from the other side. The buzz he had rapidly dissipated.
"Well, that was awkward."
His eyes that were focused on the closed door flickered over to where Ima stood in his oversized T-Shirt and was trying to crawl back in bed.
"Get out." He told her as he reached for his pack of cigarettes.
He ignored Ima's look of confusion, hurt, and irritation. Frankly, he didn't give a shit about her or her feelings. He disregarded her as she hastily changed back into her clothes and made a big production of throwing his shirt on the ground and slamming the door.
He knew he should have never left his goddamn house and should have just finished painting his son's room. He knew when Delilah pushed him away it wasn't from a rejection of him. He could see that now, but just from pushing him away it bruised his ego.
If he wouldn't have reacted harshly and acted like an adult, maybe he would have seen that she was probably overwhelmed and cautious. He should have known that. Just knowing Delilah and from what Don told him, it was going to take a while for her to catch up and Delilah was just a very quiet and closed-off person. You had to earn her trust to know her and now he precisely just fucked it all up by his knee-jerk reaction to find someone to fill a void.
Jax got up from his bed and looked around for a new shirt to cover himself back up. Delilah's facial expression of shock and hurt was in the spotlight vividly in his mind. He ran a hand down his face and he decided that he should take a shower as Ima's nauseating fruity perfume smell somehow was clinging to his skin reminding him of his fuck up.
He quickly threw off his blanket and walked into the bathroom slamming the door.
Jax remembered Delilah joking that you could go through Charming within five minutes, but for some reason, he felt the ride to her house took a whole hour. His hair was still wet and he knew an image of him with soaking hair and being clean was not going to help his case and it would just reinforce in her mind what exactly he had done and he was just washing away the evidence.
Jax finally pulled up to the Carmine residence and didn't even bother taking off his helmet as he jogged up to the entrance and before he even reached the door, Donovan's firm voice broke the silence of the night, "You should go home, son."
Jax stopped mid-step and looked up to see Donovan's form standing in the doorway. Jax couldn't tell if he was pissed or anything. He just stood there impassive. Jax knew what pleading he would do would fall on deaf ears and if Delilah specifically told Don she didn't want him there, Jax knew he wasn't getting in.
"When she wants to talk she'll call you until then just let her be for a few days," Donovan added on as he stood there in the middle of the sidewalk looking dumbfounded and confused. The last time he ever was in a situation even remotely similar was close to ten damn years ago and even then he just snuck through the former flame's window and coaxed her into forgiving him. But Delilah wasn't Tara.
Jax just nodded his head and accepted defeat while he contemplated crashing at Opie's and trying to get Delilah by herself, but he knew that would not only probably piss her off, but Don as well, "Just tell her I'm sorry and –"
"Save it, Jax, I don't even want to know what you did for my peace of mind," Donovan told him and promptly shut the door to his house.
Jax arrived at his empty home and dropped his keys into this skull ceramic key holder that ironically Delilah bought for him. He didn't sure want exactly to make her buy it as he thought his key rack on the wall was just fine, but she thought it was fitting and cute.
Jax bypassed his kitchen and living room as he planned to just call it a night. His head had too much noise and he knew his and Delilah's episode would spread like wildfire and he would have to surely receive a speech from his mother if he thought that was a way to begin a relationship with Delilah was a goddamn idiot.
Jax had stumbled into his room when he went to throw his clothes in the pile that had been piling up the past few days when he paused and realized there was a basket where the pile used to be and no clothes. Jax looked around his room where the bed was neatly made and his dresser top was clean from the clutter of receipts and the jewelry was arranged more neatly in the corner with a note saying he needed a jewelry case. Jax's heart clenched as he did an inventory of his house. He found that Delilah had gone through and tidied it up.
Since he knew sleep wasn't going to come easy tonight, Jax went into Abel's room and opened up the can of paint to finish the second coat as he wondered when he officially fell for Delilah Carmine.