Gemma watched her son smoke a cigarette at the picnic bench across the lot. That shit-eating grin plastered across his face since that Sunday dinner a couple of weeks ago. She knew the reason behind it, but she didn't understand why. From her perspective, Delilah just seemed eager in keeping whatever relationship she had with Jax platonic – even though Gemma thought that was horseshit. She could see how smitten Jax was with the mother of his son.
She knew her son seemed eager to become a father, which she could admit shocked the hell out of her. However, she expected this optimistic attitude to dwindle once the reality of it set in. She wasn't trying to be pessimistic, she loved the fact her son seemed to be ready to handle all the responsibilities of being a dad. Her concern was when Jax came to realize him being a father didn't always include the romantic entanglement of being with the mother.
Gemma, of course, wanted to push Delilah and Jax together. Her son didn't need to settle for the platoon of croweaters to keep him company. He needed a strong woman in his life and Delilah could be that.
It just didn't help that his last legitimate relationship was with Tara Knowles. She hated to completely discredit Wendy because she knew they had their moments she assumed, but it was the wrong moments. Wendy didn't possess the backbone of providing emotional support that these men needed. She didn't know how to handle the ugly maturely. Wendy thrived off the chaotic lifestyle but not in the right way. She fed off the glamour. Wendy, she concluded, liked the feeling of being included. She liked the attention and what better way to have all the attention by marrying the VP of a motorcycle club.
Delilah could properly navigate this lifestyle. Gemma knew Delilah might be a little rusty at first, but with a little priming, Delilah would be able to stand firmly behind Jax when he took place as President.
The only obstacle was Delilah and Lip.
As she noticed, Delilah seemed to be content in keeping her son in the friend bubble. Gemma knew though the blonde businesswoman most likely was raging a war with herself in what she wanted with Jax. Gemma fully believed there had to be some initial attraction for them to sleep together no matter if it was a one-night stand. They had a history. They knew each other. On top of that Gemma was all too aware of the abandoned crush Delilah used to have on Jax and Jax's lingering stares on the then younger girl. She knew it crossed both of their minds.
She would just give Delilah a little more time to adjust to everyone knowing the paternity of the little heir because Gemma would crack her and slowly give the push Delilah and Jax needed.
She only needed to take into account that even then Delilah still wouldn't rush into anything despite her already being pregnant. She also knew Lip had probably wormed some doubts into his sister about Jax. She knew Lip would take forever and a day to convince her that this could be a good thing. It is just things can't move too slow considering the baby would be arriving. They needed to get their shit together.
Her son wasn't raised to live a slow and steady life. He was conditioned to the fast life on an asphalt lane with the breeze whipping past him. In this world, you didn't get to be that way. There were too many obstacles and uncertainties. It was either you were all in or weren't. Jax learned that the hard way with Tara who always had one foot in and the other foot out the door. Now, it didn't help there was the added pressure of him being so highly ranked in the club hierarchy.
Gemma at least had something to keep her mind occupied along with her getting the equivalent of grandma fever.
Gemma was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even realize her son had moved from his spot at the picnic table to right in front of her causing her to blink a few times at his abrupt appearance.
"I know that look and it means you're up to no good," Jax teased.
Gemma rolled her eyes at her son as she moved off the doorframe and back into the office to sit at the desk with her son following her inside. "I'm thinking about changing your room into a nursery for the baby." She heard Jax scoff behind her and she looked back at him, "What?"
"Nothing," Jax said as he sat down on the couch as she took her seat at the desk.
"You and Delilah doing okay?"
"Yeah, it's just we haven't discussed anything heavy," Jax told her with a frown on his face.
Gemma furrowed her brows, "What do you mean?"
"Like when the baby is born – the living situation." He explained.
Gemma raised her eyebrow slightly as she didn't expect her son to want Delilah to live with him and in her mind, it seemed her son was already preparing to make Delilah his Old Lady, "So you want her to move in with you." Gemma started cautiously making sure she was connecting the right dots.
Jax simply shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. I mean it would make sense. I am just thinking when he is born she can't be doing that all by herself and it shouldn't be up to Donovan to be helping her either when I am perfectly capable. Plus it would feel cramped and off for all of us to be at Don's when I have the space for her and the kid at the mine until we decide what to do."
Gemma looked at her son. She was smiling internally at him for wanting to take charge of his family, but on the outside, she kept her face impassive and couldn't help but meddle as Jax would label it, "Where are you going with that, Jax?"
"Ma-"
"Listen, Jax, I love Delilah, I do and I am happy to know my first grandbaby will have a mother like her, but she is wary Jax. She knows this Life. She knows all about you. I don't know if you noticed Jax, but Delilah keeps people at an arm's length. She is very aloof, not in an insulting way, but the kind that draws attention."
"What are you getting at Ma?" Jax asked annoyance seeping into his voice.
"She isn't going to be the type to follow you blindly. It's a do as your told woman. She will be firm to make her opinion known." Gemma explained.
"So what you are saying? She can't handle this Life – me?"
"What I am saying is, are you prepared for her type of commitment."
"Mom, I don't plan to cheat on her."
Gemma raised her eyebrow at her son because even though that was a concern it wasn't her main one. "Jackson, being a mother and a lover are two different things. Those feelings will battle each other. She is scared, Jax. She is scared to trust you and she is scared of what having a child with you means." Gemma watched her son look into her eyes and she knew what she was saying was going to help him navigate his and Delilah's relationship in the right direction. Gemma leaned back into the chair, "By the way, I can tell you right now, if you want to be with Delilah you better be ready for the real thing – baby or not – because there is no backing out and I am sure you don't want to have to face Donovan and Lip for hurting her especially for not keeping your belt buckle," she finished as she went back to the paperwork piling up on her desk.
"I hear you loud and clear, Ma," Jax replied and headed back into the garage.
. . .
Delilah was currently sitting on what would usually be an uncomfortable bench, but now it felt like heaven as her feet were already starting to kill her from the walking she and Rosie had been doing while shopping. It was only a matter of time before Delilah's body began changing so Rosie decided to be proactive in making sure she had some things before nothing fit her anymore.
After Rosie declared it seemed she needed to get a crowbar to separate Jax from her, Rosie thought it was best they finally really bonded or talked about that family dinner announcement. Delilah knew Rosie was somewhat hurt especially since she is her best friend. No matter how she tried to spin it, Delilah would never be able to validate why she kept her best friend in the dark. Rosie had already commented that she seemed to be fine in keeping secrets with Jax and the way Rosie said it made Delilah defensive and worried. She knew she was missing something, but Delilah knew Rosie was upset – the extent of the hurt Delilah didn't know. However, she could tell it was strongly affecting her friend.
Delilah was watching her friend try on what she would consider a really over-the-top provocative revealing dress if it could only be considered that. Rosie moving her legs would reveal the thin fabric that covered her intimate areas and the front was split open in a deep cut giving more than just a peak to the breasts beneath it with a few straps making the fabric cling to Rosie's frame. Never mind the fact the dress the black fabric was practically see-through.
"Are you sure Juice would want you wearing that?" Delilah questioned.
She watched Rosie look at her through the mirror before going back to admiring her own body, "Juice has no say in my wardrobe."
Delilah looked at her confused, "Okay. How are you and Juice?"
Rosie turned around and looked at her friend, "Good. I think. I don't know. Everything is so comfortable. I'm not used to it, but we fought the other day."
"Why did you guys fight?" Delilah delicately asked her friend and watched her friend's face become reluctant. Now, Rosie was keeping a secret from her. "Look, I know you hang out with those girls at the club and I'm not placing any judgment, but were there other men before Juice?"
She watched her friend bite her lip before she nodded, "It was only one and only one time. You know me and my ways, I'm not ashamed I'm not, but that one other guy just messed up my reputation with those girls, not all of them because some of them are nice."
"Who was it?"
"Happy."
Delilah widened her eyes because Happy was gruff and seemed rough. It was not like he was unattractive, but just from how he was at dinner he was just quiet and kept to himself and he didn't even give any indication that he knew Rosie in that way. "Oh, does Juice know that?"
"Of course, I told him before one of those girls did. He just seems not to be able to get over it. Happy doesn't even belong to this charter, but sometimes Juice treats me like I'm just some crow eater he is passing time with like I am not worthy of anything more. Despite me being his old lady. I am tired of apologizing for something I don't need to. He wasn't even at the clubhouse when it happened and we barely knew each other then. However, he wants to get all upset with me when I know for a fact on the past few runs he had company. It is just utter bullshit and hypocritical." Rosie ranted angrily before she covered her eyes with her hand and her voice became brittle, "It just sucks because Juice is sweet and I just never had that before."
Delilah gave her friend a small smile, "Well I am not saying you should keep going back, but when this fight cools down just tell him you are tired of him making you feel guilty and if he can't move past something that happened before you two were an item then maybe you guys should stop trying to make this work."
Rosie took a seat next to her friend and hugged her, "You're right. I hate being sad over men."
"Well, when was the last time you had a stable relationship?"
"I don't know. I sabotaged all of them and now since I want one, karma is biting me in the ass."
"Well at least you aren't pregnant," Delilah quipped.
"Oh stop it. Jax is there giving you his full attention. He can't wait to be a doting father. The croweaters are all envious of you, I would say it would be scary, but they know they better not even dare to try and cross you at least while you are pregnant."
Delilah furrowed her brows, "How am I a threat?"
Rosie looked at her as if she had grown a third head, "You are carrying Jax's baby first of all and secondly you have him wrapped around your finger."
"Now you are being full of shit, I do not."
"Delilah with the masters in college you would think you wouldn't be so dense at times." Rosie said pushing some of Delilah's long blonde hair out of her face, "You know Jax hasn't taken any of those girls back to a dorm and you know he sure as hell ain't letting them into his house."
"Rosie, that –"
"It is your business, Del. Jax likes you and I think he wants more."
"Rosie, I am just the mother of his son. We don't know each other. A lot has happened in six years. There is nothing for him to like more of."
"Is this what Lip is putting in your ears?"
"Lip prefers not to talk about Jax."
"Jax is a loyal man and you should be lucky to have someone not only jump in front of a bullet for you but pull a trigger as well. There aren't many guys like Jax. Sure, there are some faults, but god the way he looks at you or even when he talks about you and the baby...I wish I had that."
. . .
3 Weeks Later
Delilah had officially passed the 6-month mark of her pregnancy. Her baby boy weighs a little more than a pound and from the last sonogram picture, she and Jax could see some of his facial figure forming. Of course, Jax made sure to quickly point out his son didn't seem so shy and made sure the fine package he had inherited was able to be viewed easily. Just to tease she told Jax it was the umbilical cord and to her amusement, Jax made sure the doctor clarified what exactly they were seeing.
By now, it was known throughout practically all of Charming that Jax was indeed the father to her baby. She knew most people wouldn't say anything directly to her face, but she knew half of them were whispering behind her back about how she would stoop so low. She knew some of them probably had referred her to being a biker whore once or twice. Plus, it was like no one outright treated her differently. It wasn't as if her personal life was affecting her work ethic. She knew though it was better not to mention this to Jax.
Since Rosie's words at the shopping center, she decided to face what she had said. It wasn't as if Delilah was completely oblivious, she knew she and Jax were tittering on the edge of something. She didn't know what she wanted. She knew that was why she was quick to dismiss Rosie's words that day. In those weeks, yes, she and Jax did become closer. It was inevitable really. They were having a baby, but there were a lot of responsibilities that came with Jax if she entered his world fully as his partner romantically.
As just being the mother of his child, she was sure she wouldn't be fully submerged in it. She wouldn't have to deal with everything. Maybe it was selfish on her part, but why should she fool herself. There were things that she knew he did that she knew she probably didn't want to know, but being who she was she knew she couldn't live in the dark. She couldn't know. She would not be able to live in the vague. She knew that to be with Jax she had to know everything. There was not any other way. She saw how her brother struggled and was still struggling to be part of the club and being a parent.
She knew Jax needed that in someone who could accept all parts of him. Where he could lay out everything to him, he needed someone else's voice as his reason especially when other people's voices were all he could hear. She didn't know if he knew that, but it was easy to see especially with how Gemma raised him with the mindset he needed an Old Lady like his father and Clay had with his mother.
She just didn't understand how he could see Old Lady material in her.
Delilah was startled when she felt something ghost along her shoulder almost causing her to drop the cup she was washing in Jax's sink.
"Sorry, I was calling you, but you were too busy scrubbing these dishes that I told you that you didn't need to wash," Jax said with a raised eyebrow.
Delilah simply rolled her eyes as she quickly dried off the dish and placed it on the dish rack. As her belly seemed to be the only thing getting bigger, Jax had been hovering more than usual. She even found him reading a baby book and even Rosie told her he had Juice watching birthing videos with him. It pained Delilah to know that the baby was causing some strain between him and Lip. "Jax, I was perfectly capable of washing your dishes while you painted Abel's room."
She turned to Jax who was paint-free due to her suggesting for him to purchase a bodysuit much to his chagrin. But it seemed to be in favor except for one little area. Delilah with her damp towel stood on her tippy toes and wiped away the smudge of paint on his cheek.
"You have some paint on your face," Delilah glanced up to his eyes and she was almost taken back by the intensity he was looking at her with. She saw his eye movement move from her lips to her eyes. All it would take for her was to lean a little further as his hands were already resting on her waist to her balance. She saw his head lean down slightly before she broke away from the sensation in her belly, "Woah."
"What is it? The baby?" Jax immediately asked.
Delilah didn't verbally respond as she grabbed his callous hand and placed it over the expanding bump. Delilah couldn't help the giggle that escaped her throat as Jax jumped from the strong kick from their son.
"Son of a bitch," Jax whispered as now both of his hands caressed her stomach as their son played soccer inside his mother. "Those are some strong kicks."
"He is your son, after all."
Jax couldn't help the dopey grin that overtook his face as he turned back to the surprisingly soft stomach that encased his child, his flesh and blood. Something that he helped create that was moving around, a part of him – something all his own.
"This is real," Jax whispered and a faint kick was felt in response as he looked back to Delilah's face where a smile graced her face and her fingers rubbed soothing circles on the top of his hands.
"Yeah, it is."
Jax removed his hands from her stomach and they caressed Delilah's face and before he could stop himself his lips descended upon hers.
__________
updated: 09/06/21