"Bakit naman hindi ka nagsabi na susunod ka pala, Crisanto?"
Mom said habang kumakain kami. Ricky smiled.
"I want to surprise all of you, Tita."
Nagulat si Mommy pagkuwa'y ngumiti.
"Why, that's so sweet of you, hijo. By the way, where's your father? Bakit hindi mo sinama na din?"
Ricky chuckled. "You know my dad, Tita."
"When was the last time that man took a vacation?"
Napapa-iling na sabi ni Daddy. Natawa nalang si Ricky.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Ricky, he smiled at me and I smiled slightly. His looks went down and I saw his smile faded and I know what he's looking at. Nag-angat muli ang tingin nito sa akin.
"So, did I miss something here?"
"Mommy and Daddy are getting married, Tito R!"
Lahat kami ay napatingin kay Ivo na tuwang tuwa sa pagkakasabi nito.
Ricky chuckled. "Wow! Really?"
Ricky looked at me at sasagot na dapat ako ng hinawakan ako ni Ivan sa kamay.
"Yes. We are getting married." Ivan said while looking intently at me.
I smiled at him.
"Oh, is that so? Well, congratulations to the both of you." Ricky said but I can see something else in his eyes.
"Thanks, man." Ivan said.
Ricky nodded and smiled at binaling ang tingin kay Mommy at Daddy.
Our dinner went well, almost. Napag-usapan namin about sa details ng kasal namin pero agad din naman napalitan ng tungkol sa business.
Pagkatapos namin kumain, Mom, Dad and Ricky went to the veranda, while the teens do their own thing. Inasikaso ko na si Ivo sa pagtulog nito, I know he's tired. We went to his room.
"Babe, ako na. I'll take care of our son."
I smiled. "Ako na. Mabilis lang 'to."
"I know you're tired." Pag-pilit pa nito
Natawa ako. "And so are you. I can handle this."
Wala ng nagawa si Ivan kundi bumuntong-hininga at hinalikan kami pareho sa ulo ni Ivo bago ito lumabas ng kwarto.
I tucked Ivo into bed and made him drink his meds. When all is well, I said my good night to him.
"Good night, baby. Sleep tight okay?"
Ivo yawned and rub his eyes before laying down. "Mommy, why are you and Daddy getting married again? Aren't you two married already?"
Nagulat ako sa tinanong ni Ivo. At a young age, he noticed that kind of thing. I smiled and patted his head.
"Why'd you asked, curious George?"
Ivo pouted and shrugged his shoulders. "I just want to know."
I chuckled. "Hmm.. Let's just say that's how Mommy and Daddy loves each other. "
"You two will marry over and over again? Will the priest get tired of that? Seeing you two again in their Church?" Ivo said with eyes wide open.
Hindi ko napigilan matawa sa sinabi ng anak ko. Oh, Ivo. You're just like your Dad.
"Yes. And no, the priest will not get tired of us. C'mon now, get some sleep. " I said in a chuckle.
"Hmmm.. Okay. Good night, Mommy. I love you." Ivo kissed my cheeks and went to sleep.
I kissed his forehead, closed the lamp beside his bed before leaving his room.
The hall was quiet. I wonder where is Ivan? I walked down the hall and my feet led me to the garden.
I can't help but think about our wedding. There's this giddy feeling inside me that makes me go crazy, excited and nervous at the same time. Nervous because this will be the first time that I will walk down the aisle with the man who I truly love waiting at the end of it.
Hindi ko naman kasi naranasan na ikasal sa simabahan nuon, dahil civil lang naman ang naging kasal namin ni Ivan dati. But that moment for me was magical that time. Kahit simple lang, I feel like I'm floating in heaven. What more will I feel kapag sa church na nangyari yun. I can't stop myself from imagining it.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Nagulat ako sa nagsalita. I looked at him and a smile was formed on his face. But there's something about that smile.
"Hey, R."
Tumabi siya sa akin dito sa swing. He offered me his wine pero tinaggihan ko ito. I don't feel like drinking tonight.
We were silent for a moment.
"So, it's been a long time. How are you, love?"
I looked at him. "I'm fine. You?"
He chuckled. "Stress from work, I think?"
We both laughed. "Manang mana ka kay Tito Tom." I said.
"Yeah, I get that a lot."
"But the real question is, are you happy, love?" Ricky said in a serious tone.
Napatigil ako at napaharap sa kanya. I looked at his eyes and I can see something painful.
"Yes. I am, R. I am happy. Very."
He smirked. "Guess my instincts were right. "
"What?"
He took a sip from his wine. "You're calling me 'R' again."
I sighed. "Aren't you happy for me?"
He looked away. "I want to. I really do, Erin. But this... " he points at his chest. "It's aching. It's freakin' aching as hell."
Words can't fill my mouth. I know Ricky has feelings for me, but I just can't give him the same thing.
"Did you know that the moment I saw you, him and Ivo, doon pa lang alam ko na kung anong ibig sabihin nu'n. Ayokong paniwalaan ang mga nakikita ko but when I saw that smile on your face, I felt my world crashed knowing that all I'm seeing and thinking was true."
Hindi ako nakakibo. I don't even know what to say to him. From his voice I can feel he is hurting. I sighed.
"Ricky, why are you saying that?"
He looked at me. "Isn't it obvious, Erin?"
I looked away from him. "Alam mong hanggang kaibigan lang ang turing ko sa'yo."
"Ayun na nga eh! Hanggang kaibigan na lang ba? Erin, I've been with you for as long as I know. Alam ko...I... ugh damn it!"
The way he acts makes me feel guilty. Totoo naman kasi na si Ricky na ang nakasama ko simula pa noon pero hanggang kaibigan lang talaga ang maibibigay ko sa kanya. He deserve someone else.
"Ricky, please don't act like that."
"Can you blame me?" Natigilan ako. "All I'm asking was for you take a chance on me, Erin. Just once."
Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga. "I'm not that selfish to hurt you, Ricky. Mahal kita pero hanggang kaibigan lang iyon."
Nagulat ako ng tumayo siya mula sa swing at binato sa malayo ang wine glass na hawak nito. He puts his hand on his waist while the other on his eyes.
He kneeled in front of me and holds my hands. Tight.
"Love, wake up. Open your eyes. Alam mo naman yung pinagdaanan mo sa kanya, 'di ba? I know how you suffered. I know how cried every night. And I don't want to happen that again to you. With the same pain, from the same man."
I looked at him straight in the eyes.
"Ricky, lasing ka na. Magpahinga ka na. "
Napapikit ito and puts his head on my hands. I don't want to see him like this. He deserve more than this. He looks up at me again with pure sadness in his eyes.
"Goddamn it, Erin! I'm not drunk!" Humigpit ang hawak nito sa akin.
"Ricky, you're holding me too tight."
"Eunica?!"
Sabay kaming napalingon ni Ricky. Nagulat ako ng bigla akong hatakin nito papalapit sa kanya. He puts me at his back.
"Man, I think you should get some sleep." Ivan said in a deep, serious tone.
Ricky clenched his jaw. "Man, I think you should get out of the way. "
My eyes widened. Pumagitna ako sa kanila bago pa may ganap na away at magising ang iba.
"Both of you stop! Okay?! Ricky, you had too much. You should get some rest. All of us should get some rest."
The two of them are still staring at each other. Kulang nalang ay magsuntukan sila sa harap ko. I deeply sighed.
"Please?"
I felt Ivan moved backwards. Nagulat ako ng hilahin ako kasabay nito. Ricky on the other hand, looked down and shake his head.
His eyes were red when he looked at me. I can help but feel sorry for what he is feeling right now.
"I hope you've made the right decision, Erin. " Ricky said before he walked away in the dark.
AN: Ivan or Ricky??? Hi guys! Sorry for the loooooooooooooong wait! Wattpad isn't just my life. I hope you understand. I still want to thank all my readers for supporting! Love you all!
xx