Audrey
It was like one of those scenes you see in a movie. Time slows down, and no matter how loud the music is, the sound becomes an all-but-audible thud in the background as you see her eyes show her heart breaking. That was my life right now. The camera would zoom up on my face then flash at the scene causing me so much pain. But, even in the movies, you never know how it feels until it happens to you. You empathise, you know it sucks, but you don't feel the numbness. Here I was, in the middle of a party. People were drunk, dancing, and laughing. But there I stood in the doorway, a full cup of beer in my hand, with my eyes locked on him. The music drained. If I could hear anything, it was how loud my heart was pounding right now. With every thud, it felt like my heart tore slightly and the blood was gushing out. I felt that the longer I stared, the more blood I would lose.
He was standing at the far end of the living room. His hand was snaked around her waist as he leaned in, whispering in her ear. She held a hand to her mouth and giggled. He smiled and pulled back, looking at her tenderly. That look was all too familiar. He used to look at me with that same gaze. Three weeks had passed yet he was already in love with another girl. Had I missed something? How could his heart open so quickly? How had he moved on from a three-year relationship this fast whilst I still cried myself to sleep every night, telling myself to delete his number?
I tore my eyes away from the scene. I had to get out of here. I sat my cup down on the hallway table and searched for Jessica.
"I have to go," I told her.
"What?" she said drunkenly.
"I have to go. I have to get out of here."
"So soon?"
I nodded and looked down.
She gazed over my shoulder. "Oh shit. I'm so sorry. I didn't think he'd bring her."
My eyes snapped up. "You knew?"
An apologetic smile spread across her face. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"How could you know and not tell me? How could you not be mad at him?"
"You know I've known you longer and you mean so much to me. But he's my friend too. And what makes the both of you happy I will cheer for. I didn't want you upset and I didn't want him being put down."
I wanted to yell at her for being a horrible friend. I wanted to get mad at her for not putting me first. We were supposed to be best friends. They wouldn't even know each other if he and I hadn't dated. But I sucked it in and held my mouth. The last thing I needed was to end on a bad note. Her reaction only encouraged me with my decision to leave. I couldn't stand around and take this anymore. I had to get away from everything familiar. "You be good, okay, Jess? And have a good birthday party."
"I'm sorry, Audrey."
"It's fine. What Adam does is up to him. We broke up so who am I to care about what he does? And who am I to say who you can and cannot invite to your own birthday party? It's fine." I knew what I was saying was what I wanted to feel. I wanted to be okay with it. But with every word I felt like I was lying to her and myself. "You just have fun and stay well, okay?"
"Do you want me to see you off tomorrow?"
I shook my head. "I think it's best we say goodbye like this." I didn't want to tell Jessica that she hurt me so much with her words. I knew she had every right to her feelings. And who was I to get possessive of her now? At the end of the day, Adam will be the friend she hangs out with, not me anymore. I was going. "See you when I see you."
"Make sure you inbox me when you get there, okay?"
"Sure thing," I lied. She didn't have to know that I was disconnecting myself completely from everyone in this town. She didn't have to be hurt by my decisions.
With that, I turned around and walked out the door. I did not look back. The people in the house behind me gave me great memories over the past twenty years, but I was done with them. I grew apart from them. They became people who enjoyed each other's company and I felt like I did not fit in there anymore. I did not fit in anywhere. And that's why I had to go.
Without realising it, somehow I had made my way home. The house was dark. Dad must have been out again. I pulled my key out and stumbled inside, kicking my shoes off at the door.
I went into the bathroom and took my makeup off. Dad's uniform lay discarded next to the washing basket. With a sigh, I picked them up and placed them where they belong.
I continued to brush my teeth, tied my hair back, slipped into my pyjamas, and then collapsed on my bed. I pulled the covers over my head and tried to go to sleep. I had to get up early tomorrow. But the image of his hand brushing her hair behind her ear popped into my head. I shook my head and clenched my eyes shut. I tried to listen to the sounds around me to calm me down. The crickets were all I could hear. Why were they so noisy? I got up and shut the window, but it was too humid to just put the fan on, so I switched on the aircon and slipped back into bed.
I closed my eyes again. The way he gazed at her flashed through my head.
"Stop it!" I all but screamed. I was doing the right thing leaving. I had to get away from him and the memories. I had to get away from everyone and everything.
I tried my best to force tonight's image out of my head and instead think about what I had to make sure I had packed tomorrow. I was done thinking about this life here. It was time to start fresh.
*
There was barely a cloud in the sky. I lay on the grass next to Jessica. She had headphones in and was listening to music. But the sounds of the world around me were more comforting. I could hear the gentle breeze rustle the leaves in the tree next to us. I could hear the guys playing on the oval, shouting about passing the ball. I could hear the laughter of a group of girls who sat watching the guys practice. One month was left of school, then I'd be off to university. I was so excited to study something close to my passion. I was excited to learn all about writing and stories. No more maths, science, or history. Just English.
Suddenly, a pair of blue eyes stared back at me. His blonde hair hung down and a familiar smirk spread across his face. "Hi there," he said.
My stomach churned. And I immediately sat up, shuffling slightly away from him. My sudden movement caught Jessica's attention. She opened her eyes and removed one headphone. She saw the source of the commotion, smiled, and put the headphone back in her ear. What was that about?
"Go for a walk with me?" Adam asked.
"Um..." I glanced at Jessica. I was leaping for joy at the thought of talking to Adam, but I didn't want to leave her alone.
"Go on. I'll be waiting here," Jessica mumbled. It seems she heard our exchange.
I got to my feet and grabbed my bag, tagging slightly behind Adam.
"Did I take you by surprise?"
"Kinda... yeah. I didn't hear you approach."
"Sorry," he responded, a sheepish smile spreading across his face as he ran a hand through his hair.
How is he so attractive? "S'all good."
"So I'm guessing you're wondering why I wanted to go for a walk?"
"Kind of."
"You're a girl of not many words, are you?"
"Kind of?"
He laughed and came to a stop.
I stopped too.
"I'll get straight to the point then. Want to see a movie this weekend? Then maybe hang out the next weekend? And the weekend after? And go to formal with me?"
I stared at him blankly. My heart thudded loudly in my chest. My hand reached across my body and pinched my arm. I wasn't dreaming. Adam Carter literally just asked to hang out with me every week. Wait... what was he trying to say?
"Yes, Audrey. I'm asking you to date me. Become my girlfriend."
"Wait... what? Why?"
His smile slipped off his face. That was not the response he was expecting.
I quickly realised how harsh my words must have sounded. "That's not me saying no or that I'm disgusted by the idea at all!" I assured him. "It's just that... you really took me by surprise. I didn't see that coming."
"Really? You didn't?"
I shook my head.
"Why did you think I sat next to you in every class, on the bus, and got off at your stop every day even though mine is the one after yours?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I thought you were bored and I was convenient entertainment?"
He shook his head. "You really don't think that much of yourself?"
My gaze went down to my converses. "What's there to think about me? Who am I?"
His hand touched my cheek as he lifted my gaze to meet his. My face felt like it was on fire. My heart was about to leap out of my chest. The butterflies were having a party. Holy shit. Adam Carter is touching my face. "If there is anything I will spend my life doing, it is making you feel worthy of anyone. Of anything. Audrey Jones, don't ever doubt how special you are. Out of a busload of people, I noticed you every day since I started coming to this school. Don't think you aren't worthy."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. This better not be some horrible prank he was pulling.
"So? Will you be my girlfriend?"
His words made me blink. I hadn't answered him? "Yes. Definitely."
"Definitely?"
My cheeks warmed up.
He smiled.
*
My pillow was wet when I woke up. Light just broke through the window. It was time to get up. It was time to stop reliving these memories. I grabbed my last pair of clothes and headed to the bathroom to get ready. On my way out, I grabbed the last of my toiletries and packed them into my bag.
Everything was packed. It was time.
I heard mum honk from the driveway.
I pulled the handle up on my suitcase and walked into the hallway. My dad stood there in his work uniform, waiting. His eyes were swimming with tears.
"You'll be okay, dad."
He nodded. "I know. I'm just going to miss my little girl." He pulled me in for a hug. "You be safe and good, Audrey, okay? I love you."
"I love you too Dad."
"Make sure you call me when you get to your room, okay?"
"I will."
"And you can always come right back home if you don't like it. You room will always be here."
"I know. Thank you."
"I love you, Dee." Dee was what I used to call myself when I was just learning to talk. Audrey seemed to be too hard for me to pronounce. The name I gave myself stuck as a family nickname.
"I know, Dad. I'll be back for Christmas, okay?"
He nodded.
"And I'll call you every week. Be good. Be strong. Be healthy, okay?"
He nodded again, tears were streaming down his face. Dad wasn't used to being alone. Back when I was dating Adam, I did stay out often and was rarely home, but I was still there. My things were still in my room and I came home nearly every day. Now it would just be dad in this big empty house, with our family photos lining the wall that he could never take down. With the marks in the hallway door that marked mine and my brothers' heights as we grew up. With an empty room with my bed in it. An empty room with Brandon's bed in it. A ring still on his finger that he never takes off. I felt bad leaving dad behind, but it was time for me to look after me.
Mum honked again.
"I have to go."
"Okay. You better before you get in trouble."
I nodded. "See you later, daddy."
With that, I ran out the door and hopped into mum's car.
"You took your time. Did you forget you have a plane to catch? It's not like one comes every half an hour like the bus does."
"I know. I'm sorry. Dad was just upset."
She shook her head. "When is he going to meet someone else? It's been two years. I've moved on."
"I know. He will, in time, I guess."
"Will he? Has he been on any dates?"
"Mum. Please. I'm leaving the country. Do we have to have this conversation now?"
Her hands clenched around the steering wheel. I knew she still loved my father. I knew that whilst she had a boyfriend, Dad was still in her heart. If he moved on, she knew they were definitely done for. Even though she was with someone else, she was scared of him letting go over her. Her grip relaxed. "You're right. I'm sorry. You definitely have everything, right?"
I nodded. "At least, I hope I do."
"If not, I can send it to you. Or, if it's too heavy, let me know and I will transfer some money into your account and you can replace it."
"Okay. Thanks mum."
"No worries."
We continued the car ride to the airport in silence. I stared out the window and watched the brown scenery pass by. We pulled up to a traffic light and I watched a kangaroo and her joey hop into the forest lining. Whilst I hated the heat and constant sun, there were many things about this country that I was going to miss.
We pulled up at the drop-off zone.
"You sure you don't want me to come in?" mum asked.
"It's fine. I don't want you to be late to work."
"I'm sorry, Audrey. Be safe okay? Call me as soon as you get there."
"I'll call you when I get to my room because I won't have any change for a payphone."
"Okay. But make sure you do."
"I will."
"Have a safe trip, Audrey."
"I will. Stay healthy, Mum."
She smiled at me.
I pulled my suitcase out of the car and walked toward the airport.
*
"Oh Adam, you shouldn't have!" I exclaimed as I pulled the necklace out of its box.
"But I wanted to." He rested his head on his hands as he gazed as me across the table. "Let me spoil my girlfriend on our anniversary. It's an important day."
I smiled at him. How did I get so lucky?
"Do you like it?"
"I love it."
"Good. Now put it on. I want a picture."
"Can you help me?"
He got up from his seat and came around to fasten my necklace on. "Very pretty."
"Thank you."
He smiled and pressed his lips to mine. Returning to his seat, he continued to stare at me.
"Why do you keep looking at me?"
"Am I not allowed?"
"No... you are. But, why?"
"Because I'm happy."
"Happy?"
"Happy I have such a beautiful girlfriend. Happy that you're happy. Happy that I've fulfilled my wish and you don't deny my compliments anymore. You accept that you're pretty."
I rolled my eyes.
"What?"
"You're an idiot."
"I'm your idiot."
"Yes you are."
*
"Ladies and gentlemen," the pilot called over the intercom. "Please fasten your seatbelts, open your window shades, and store your trays in the upright position. We will be landing very shortly. It is currently 6pm in Seoul. The weather is slightly cloudy with a comfy 23 degrees. I hope you enjoyed your flight with Korean Air."
I pulled my shade up and glanced out at the large city looming beneath me. Hundreds of lights illuminated the city as the sun set. I made it. I was here. It was time to start again.
____
It's been a while. So here's the deal. This is a story idea I thought would be easy for me to write. It's not the style I write these days, but it touches into the kind of things I watch (Korean dramas) and my writing subjects. I wanted something that would be upbeat and I would constantly be inspired to write. I haven't finished anything in nearly five years and I want to finish something. I'm not completely sure where this story will go, but I'm sure it will be crazy, as anyone who watches Korean dramas would know (yes, a lot will link to their drama conventions. But I promise no one will lose their memory suddenly). Even if you don't know much about Korean dramas, I hope that this is still enjoyable.
I haven't edited this and don't plan to do so until I'm finished or get serious writers' block. I'm on holidays now for my final year of uni and want to write something, so this is something I hope to work on. I have the next three chapters already outlined.
If you enjoy reading this story and notice I'm not uploading, then please harass me. It will encourage me. I promise.
Regardless, let me know what you think what will happen, whether you don't like where I took the story, etc. I appreciate all feedback.
If I made a typo, I'm sorry. I will edit it some time.
Thank you.