The next day I awake wearing the same clothes from yesterday and clutching the journal to me chest. I guess I cried myself to sleep. I look around and the sun is shining bright making everything in the room glow. It is beautiful. Then I see the clock it is 8:45, I only had about 5 minutes to get ready and get to school. I hop out of bed, hoping that Jax and Jade didn’t leave me, but when I get downstairs the only person I see is Mary.
“Um where is everybody?” I ask her.
“Oh, they left, but don’t worry you can stay home if you like.” She offers, but I shake my head and begin to tell her that I will just walk, but she interrupts me and states “ I think it is best for you to stay home today.”
I nod my head and walk back upstairs. What am I supposed to do in this big ole’ house by myself? I had a TV to watch, but no car, so I couldn’t go anywhere. By the time I got back to my room, I tuck myself back into my covers and fall asleep.
I wake up… again at 11:00. I walk downstairs to see if Mary was still home. But I did not see her, but I see a note left on the countertop.
Hey Liz,
Just going to the store or dinner, be back in a hour or so.
Love, Mary
Guess it is just me, alone, in this big house. Is it weird that I am kind of scared? I look around the kitchen to find something to eat, and find some leftovers from last night’s dinner that I missed. It was pasta with tomato paste and basil. I warm it up and the smell of it waters my mouth. It made me realize how hungry I actually was.
I quickly eat the pasta and try to figure out what to do next. I could just chill in my room, watch TV, or look at Jax’s room. I run upstairs and open every single door till I see a big blue room with plain white bedding, but all the posters of cars and bands on the wall lets me know that this is his room.
I walk in and shocked to see that the room is somewhat clean. There are a few pairs of jeans, shoes, and shirts on the floor, but the bed is made and everything just seems to be in a specific place. There is a big white desk sitting in the corner of the room, piled with schoolwork and a notebook. The front of it was scratched from being written on. Curiosity gets the best of me and I open it, when I know I shouldn’t.
Inside are music lyrics or poems. They consist of feel good ones to love ones. I immediately read the love poems, guess the girl yearning for some romance in me came out. I am nervous to see what it says. I know that these lyrics could change my opinion of Jax. But I read on anyway.
The song is about this girl, her name isn’t mentioned in the song/poem. About how much love he has for her, but all she sees is his womanizing ways and his games that he plays. He is yearning for her to see past that, that he is more than that guy. Was it about us.
I find myself sitting and reading, losing myself in his lyrics. Every line gets better and better, but out of nowhere I hear a knock on the door. I close the book as fast as I could and throw to the side of me. I look up to see Jax leaning against the door frame.
“Um, hi.” I say looking down.
“So, I see you've found my room.” he smiles.
“Yeah, I was just leaving.” I say getting up, but when I try to pass him, I feel his hands on my waist, stopping me.
I look up and see his eyes, there is something in it, but I can’t put my finger on it.
“Stay.” he whispers.
I nod, and he leads me back to the bed. I sit, but he stands over me. I have no idea what is going to happen, so I just wait playing with my fingers.
“So, I know that you like me, and I know you know that I like you. There is no denying it, I just want to be honest with you,” he pauses and looks me in the eyes,”This may be hard for you to hear, but you need to know the full story of why I stood you up yesterday. I was walking to the library and I saw her walking towards me. In my head I knew that she was trouble, but I had nowhere else to go to hide from her. So she walks to me and starts whispering...dirty things in my ear.”
I shudder, I really did not want to hear this...at all.
He continues ”I tried to pry away from her, but she had a strong hold on me. She started to kiss me on my neck and cheek. She brought my hands around her waist, and slowly kissed her way to my lips. Next thing you know our tongues were down each other’s throats. I am so sorry, I feel so guilty. You don’t deserve this. I want you to know that I am not a player. Please believe me.” he begs me.
I have no idea if I believe him or not, I barely know him. I know that every girl has her eye on him. He was officially the new ‘hot’ guy in school, and there was denying he had the looks. But it would be hard to think that he could just ignore all those girls...for me.
“It is going to take some convincing.” I tell him.
He nods and walks over to his closet and pulls out a beautiful guitar. I sits on his desk chair and begins to strum a steady chord. He starts to sing Wonderwall by Oasis. His voice has a raspiness to it. His eyes stay on me, not paying attention to the chords of the song. I look at him, trying not to let him think I am giving in...yet. His voice bounces off the walls, making everything feel magical.
The song ends and he sets the guitar down on the floor. We just stare at each other, waiting for who was going to speak first, but iI had no idea what to say. He walks over to me and falls onto his knees and takes my hand.
“Trust me...please.” he states.
“I can try to, but a song is not going to change your ways. Every girl in the whole school has their eyes on you. How am I supposed to know for sure that I won’t get hurt from all of this? There is no guarantee. So don’t make a promise you can’t keep.” I say with my head down, afraid to look at the hurt in his eyes.
He lifts my chin up, and looks me in the eye.
“No one can change they way I feel about you. Those other girls want me, but I don’t want them. Liz, you’re all I want. I wish you could see that.” He says getting up.
But I can’t let him go, like I need him there with me. So I stand up and grab his wrist, letting how I really feel come out.
“Look, I like you, but I am scared. I don’t want to be hurt anymore. Not by you or anyone. I have lost so many good people in my life, and I don’t want to ruin anything. You mean so much to me, but I have no idea what would happen, what if you stop liking me and move on to some other girl or what if….” I start rambling, but he puts his finger to my lip.
“There is no ‘what if’s’. I know how I feel about you.” He states.
He tilts my head up and kisses my lips gently, just enough that I could be satisfied for now, but still feigning for his touch and kiss. This boy could control me and he did not even know it, or did he?
He walks away, probably heading back to school. I watch him gide down the stairs and out the door. I replayed the kiss in my head over and over again. His soft lips. brushing against mine, igniting a spark between us. I could not deny that I liked Jax, I could not change how I feel about him. I could try, but the heart wants what the heart wants.
Hours pass and I hear Jade talking on the phone loudly with one of her friends. I walk to the staircase and bump into Jax. He smiles at me and says excuse me and heads to his room. I smile back and get out the way. I rush to my room and lay on my bed, smothering a smile into my pillow. Ugh, he made me feel like I was 13 again and experiencing my first boyfriend.
“You okay?” I hear Jax, as he walks over to my bed. He takes a sit and gives me the most seductive smile.
I sit straight up and flatten my hair, “Yeah, I’m fine, you?” I say trying to take the attention off of me.
“Oh, I’m fine, just been thinking about something all day.” he says grinning at me.
“Well what were you thinking about?” I ask trying to sound flirtatious.
“Dinner, I was starving all day,” he laughs at me when my face drops, hoping for a better or sweet answer, “ I’m kidding, you’ve been the only thing I’ve thought about all day.” He confesses.
My cheeks blaze red. He laughs at me, which does not help the redness in my cheek. I look down, trying to hide the smile that is forming on my face.
“You’re so cute.” he simply says looking at me with a serious look, but there is some softness in his gorgeous blue eyes. It makes me smile, knowing that I can do that to him just feels good.
“Thanks, not too bad yourself.” I say trying to be flirtatious again, I think I am getting better at this flirting thing.
He laughs and sits next to me on my bed. He takes my hand and intertwine my fingers with his, “Perfect fit.” he says and smiles.
I could stay here forever, sitting on this bed, with him, holding hands. He brings out this sudden peace in me. He makes me feel safe, and his touch. His touch can be so overwhelming. I find myself craving his fingertips brushing against my face, or his soft lips connecting with mine. He is the first guy to make me feel this way. Then a sudden realization hit me, we aren’t officially dating. It may feel like or seem like what we do is girlfriend/boyfriend stuff, but to be realistic, it was never confirmed by him or me.
“You know we aren’t like officially dating, right?” I ask.
“Yeah, I know.” he replies simply still holding onto my hand.
“Well…” I pressed on.
“Don’t worry, your time will come. I think dinner is ready by the way.” he says getting up.
I wonder what his plan is. What is it going to be something special? I have no idea. But being the negative person I always am, my mind automatically thinks that he is just stalling, so he doesn’t have to ask me out at all. I try to dismiss the thought, but it kept creeping into my head throughout dinner. Why do I worry so much, it is ridiculous. Hopefully I am just over-thinking everything. I really hope he does like me because I really like him. I don’t want this to be all fake, I have already falling for him...fast. There is no turning back, and I hope he feels the same way.
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Hey guys!! We passed 150 reads!!!!!!!! I know that it may not seem like a lot compared to other stories on wattpad, but it means the world to us. I want to thank the people who have been there since the beginning. Thank you for voting and reading. Oh and by the way if Jax was to ask Liz out how should he do it? You can PM or leave a comment. And don’t forget to vote!
Love, Reagan and Meagan <3