New Beginnings {Completed}

Chapter 31

This has been the worst day of my life. First, I tell Mary about my mother (who hasn't come back yet) and now, I find out that Jax has been cheating on me. I don't even know how I manage to sorta keep it together through all of this. 

After staring at the closed laptop, hoping that all this was just a horrible dream, I leave Jax's room. I don't know what posses me to decide to walk outside, but I do. I don't have anywhere to go and I don't have a car, but instead of letting all the things that tell me this isn't a great idea, I close the front door and start walking down the street. 

I never noticed that the houses that surround Jax's are equally as big as his and some are even bigger. Christmas lights cover houses and illuminate the street. It's beautiful and even thought it never snows here, a cold breeze blows. I regret not bringing a jacket. But I had bigger things to worry about. 

I walk down and try not to think about Jax, but the thought of him with some other girl makes me want to throw up. I was never a jealous girl, but I just couldn't handle seeing him with someone else other than me. I really thought he loved me, and I reallly hoped he has a really good explantion for this. The pain in my chest is so overwhelming, I'm surprised I'm still able to walk. 

I walk for about 15 minutes, before I realize that I'm getting closer to the school. I never knew I lived so close to the school. The fence that holds the school in, is covered with flowers and teddy bears. People are still mourning Ryan, and a part of me is mourning him too. 

I know what he did was wrong, but he was so young. I didn't know him, but he probably had so much ahead of him. And as crazy as this sounds, I forgive him. I know that I've mostly forgiven him out of pity, but he's dead. I would feel horrible if I never forgave him. 

I walk over to the memorial left for him. Notes and cards litter the ground, and I'm surprised the strong winds haven't blew them away. I pick one up and read it, 

Yo Ryan, 

You were such an awesome dude. You were like the best swimmer I knew. Miss you, man.

Danny. 

It didn't take long for me to realize that this person didn't really know him. I read a couple more, some of them more heartfelt than the first one I read. I'm so invested in one that I don't even hear the person that comes up behind me. 

The person taps on my shoulder, and I expect Jax. Instead I'm surprised to see a tall dark haired boy. He has big brown eyes, but that's all I can see of his appearance since it's so dark outside. 

"Hi." he says, with a small wave. 

"Hi." I answer. "If you don't mind me asking, but who are you?" 

"Oh, sorry. I'm Alex." he says holding hout his hand. 

I shake it, "I'm Liz." I say with a small smile. 

"So, I'm guessing you go here?" he asks me. 

"Yeah, I'm a senior."

'Oh, wow." I don't know what he means by that, " I'm almost finished with my first year of college."

"Oh, so what are you doing a high school?" I ask. 

"Um, Ryan was my brother." he says quietly. 

"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss." I manage to say. I guess that he doesn't know about what Ryan did to me, and I wasn't going to tell him. As far as he knew, his brother was an awesome person. 

"Yeah, so how did you know Ryan?"

I freeze at his question, but manage to answer him, "Um, I didn't really know him, but he was pretty popular."