Its been about a month since I've cried. It was only a matter of time before the hate got to me again. I've been showing Shawn that it isn't bothering me but it actually is.
Shawn kept his hand around my waist as we were through the mall.
"Can we get something to eat?" I asked.
"Yeah." He said.
"She shouldn't eat with all that fat." I heard someone whisper.
"Um actually I'm just thirsty." I said
"Oh okay. Here's five dollars. I'm going to head into here. I'll be in here so just come here after you get your drink." He told me. I nodded and walked to get a drink. I paid for my drink and started to walk when some girls stopped me.
"Hey you're Shawn's girlfriend, y/n right?" A girl asked.
"Yeah." I said and smiled.
"You're a slut. You took Shawn away from all of us." She said and walked away. I was a little stunned. The fans have never said anything to me in person. I walked pretty fast to get back to Shawn.
"Hey why are you in a rush?" He asked.
"Just wanted to get back to you." I said. He kissed my forehead.
"Do you want to head back to my house?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said.
On the ride to his house I was quiet and made little conversation. Once we were at his house we went up to his room. I plopped myself on his bed and pulled out my phone. There were many notifications from twitter to Instagram. All the hate. They were just getting worse. They even turned into death threats. Society is messed up.
I accidently let a tear slip.
"y/n are you okay? You've been acting differently since the mall." Shawn said.
"Yeah. I'm fine" I said. I looked down at my phone and broke. I got up off the bed and ran to Shawn's bathroom. I locked the door and opened the cabinet. I grabbed the new shaver and broke off the top. I looked at myself in the mirror. The fans. They were right. I was nothing.
"y/n open the door. Please. Let me in babe. Talk to me." Shawn said through the door. I don't deserve him. I took the blade to my wrist. Blood dripped down my arms. I cried harder. I sat on the floor as there were 5 vertical lines on each of my arms. I had promised myself not to cut. I had to this time. I had to the other times too but I haven't felt like this in a while.
"y/n please. You're scaring me." Shawn cried. I felt calm and relieved. I got up and unlocked the door. The door whipped opened and Shawn wrapped his arms tightly around me.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" I cried loudly.
"Sh. Shhh. It's alright y/n. I've got you now, it's alright." He cooed me.
"They hate me. Why do they hate me?" I asked crying still.
"y/n who hates you?" He asked.
"Your fans." I said. He held me at arms length now.
"y/n they don't really hate you. They are jealous of us and the memories we are making together. They want we have. I hate that they do this. I'm gonna put an end to this." Shawn said.
"It just. It hurts me Shawn." I told him.
"I know baby. I'm gonna help you. They are hurting me too. Don't let them get to you. I love you." He told me.
"I love you too." I told him. He walked to the cabinet and got a washcloth. He wet it and had me sit up on the countertop. He wiped the blood from my arms and bandaged them up.
"Thanks Shawn." I said.
"You're welcome babe." He said and kissed my cheek.
"Let's go take a nap and relax." He said and picked me up.
"Shawn. Thank you." I said. He smiled and put me on the bed.
"Sleep well y/n." He said and kissed my lips.