(Continued from previous chapter)
•••
"Ten minutes to... what?" Harry asks.
"Just... listen," Louis says, turning to fully face Harry.
"Alright. Jesus, this is harder than I thought. Okay. I'm just, like, putting it out there. Setting it all on the table. Where is the god damn table?" Louis says frantically, searching for a table that they both know isn't actually there.
"Lou, you don't have to-" Harry starts.
"Shut up, Kale Smoothie, let me talk."
"I- okay."
"Okay. It's- I- okay. We've known each other for years. Since the beginning of grade nine. And we've been friends since then. We were inseparable- no, we are inseparable. That's kind of why we're here, right now. Look. I know we say this all the time, and we say it because it's true, but I don't think we really understand what we're saying. We aren't the usual best mates. We cuddle, and hug, and cry, and we go on vacations together, and we have deep talks about absolutely nothing but absolutely everything at the same time that usually result in us crying or drunk, and we have matching tattoos for fuck's sake. When I touch you, or when you touch me, I feel something. It's like this spark, but instead of shooting out electricity, it's giving off this feeling. It's warm, and soft, and comforting, and... it's home, Hazza. And that's another thing- home. Do you think that Liam and Niall call each other home- or even feel that way? No. They don't. Why do you think that everyone we meet asks us if we're dating? It's because we are, Haz. We are dating. We're dating, aren't we? Not to us, no, but to the rest of the world. To everyone else, we are a proper, loved up couple. Now, ever since we moved in together, things have been... different. I'm not saying bad different, or good different, but it's definitely different. We've gotten closer- which I love, I really do. But I'm willing to bet my life on saying that you know the kind of different I'm talking about, H. Feelings, Harry, feelings. The kind of feelings that you get when you have a crush on someone. I think..." Louis pauses. "I think I've been feeling those feelings all along. Maybe from the first day we met, maybe from the day we moved in, I don't know. It took us moving in together and going on this god forsaken vacation to realize it. But I know that I am feeling these things that I could not figure out how to describe, or name, until... until now. I didn't know how or what these feelings were, or why they were happening to me but... I think... I think I know. And I-" Louis pauses once more, taking a deep breath or air and courage. "I like you, Harry. I like you in the buy you all of your favorite things when you're sad, ask your friends what your favorite food is so I can make it for you, kiss the pout off your lips kind of way. I... I like you. And it's taken me this long to realize that all of these feelings I felt, and feel, are real, relationship feelings. But... I'm not ready. I think that I know what the feelings are. I'm almost sure I like you. But, I'm just not ready. I need to figure it out some more, you know? I just need to figure myself out so that no one gets hurt," Louis says, his heart beating so quickly that he truly believes it might explode.
Harry's eyes are as wide as they could be before they would fall out. See, he's been feeling these feelings, too, and he didn't know what they were until Louis just said what they were. And now he knows. He knows the feeling. And it's mutual.
"I..." he starts.
"No. Not a word. I'm not going to let you speak. There is a second part of my speech. It's the bad part. Just... listen, okay?" Louis pleads.
Harry nods, not daring to say a word. Louis has never been this vulnerable, this raw, this open before. He is so not going to ruin it at the brink of the moment.
"I... look. Love, my love, it's just, we came on this vacation for a reason. That reason is to relax. But, so far, it's been anything and everything but relaxing. I think... I think we should save this. Put it on pause. Pause this, pause us. Save this and continue it the very second we get back into our flat. We can talk about how we feel, for real this time, without all of those metaphors and the not-mentioning-of the-name-as-if-the-other-person-doesn't-know-who-they're-talking-about shit. We can literally do whatever we want, but at home. For the two weeks we have left, can we just... be? Like, be friends? And we can use the metaphors and pretend that we don't see the other person's feelings and do all of that fake shit for now, and then the second we get home, we can strip it all down- wait. No! No, I didn't mean- I didn't mean our clothes, I meant, like strip down our feelings. Like, strip down the metaphors and the fake-ness and just be real. But for now, we do the metaphors. And as soon as we enter the bus and get on that plane to California, this conversation is not to be held until we get back to the U.K. Okay?" Louis says, trying to keep from breaking everything he just said and kissing Harry.
"I... I just- um, yeah. Yeah, okay. Put it on hold. Beep. Pause. That... that was the sound the remote makes. You know th- beep. Beep, beep, beep. You know, bee- I'm done," Harry says, turning a deep shade of red.
Louis dies a little bit. Well, not a little. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. Like, he's dead. Done. Currently speaking with Satan on his placement in hell.
"Okay," Louis says.
"Okay," Harry repeats.
Saved by the bell, the bus pulls up in front of them, the large doors opening. They look at each other and chuckle a bit, and grab their luggage as they board the bus.
Just like before, they go to sit in the back of the vehicle, Harry bumping into literally everyone he passes as he does so.
"Clumsy Kale Smoothie," Louis laughs once they are in their seats.
"Is it me? Am I the kale smoothie? Is that the joke?" Harry asks.
Louis looks at him, deadpanned. "Uh, yeah."
"Oh."
"Wait- I've never even had a kale smoothie before," Kale Smoothie says.
"No, hun, don't play that game with me. I see the bags of kale you have hidden under your bed. You ain't slick," Louis smirks.
"You've looked in my room?"
"You haven't looked in mine? I thought that was a thing we did."
"No, Louis. At least, normal people don't do that."
"Well I'm not normal, am I, Horton?"
Harry let out an airy laugh. "God, no. You are anything but normal. Ow."
"Oh, baby, is it your stitches? Do they hurt?" Louis asks.
Harry squeezed his eyes shut in pain, trying to think of anything but his busted lip and broken face.
Louis grabbed his hand, holding onto it tightly.
"You're okay, I promise. As soon as we can, I'll get you some pain meds. And when we get to the airport, I'll buy you something special," Louis winks, knowing exactly what he wants.
Harry's eyes lit up. "Do you mean-"
"I do."
"Gummy bears?!"
"Gummy bears."
Harry smiled in content, leaning his head down on Louis' shoulders. It was kind of uncomfortable, because Harry had to make his head tilt down so it could reach his small height.
Louis took his free hand to stroke Harry's hair. It was now that he noticed everyone taking glances at Harry's busted face, looking at every stitch and bruise. God, they must think Louis' abusing him. Shit.
Knowing how the sensitive boy would react to all of the unwanted attention, he spoke up.
"Hey, Hazza, why don't you close your eyes? Maybe try to catch some sleep before we get to the airport?"
"Yeah, yeah. Okay."
Harry closed his eyes and let himself lull to sleep, purely to the sound of Louis' heartbeat. It was surprisingly quick, so quick that Louis had to check to see if the younger boy didn't die. What? He did fall pretty badly.
Louis let out a sigh of relief. This boy, this poor, unusually tall boy, has been through all too much. He wears unique clothing, clothing that is beautiful to him and most of the people around him. But, there are a few people who don't approve of boys wearing crop tops and lipstick, matched perfectly with a flower crown and brown boots. All of his friends have told him to ignore those people, but he can't help it. If he thinks that one person doesn't like something of his, or him, he doesn't understand why people do like it. He thinks that if it's bad enough that a few people don't like it, how could it be good enough that someone does? He doesn't get it. And it breaks Louis' heart. It breaks his heart to have someone he loves so, so much, just being torn apart by the seams, literally, when he hears a harsh insult being thrown at him on the street. That being said, he does not, by any means, enjoy the catcalls either. And yes, he gets a lot of those, too. Idiots whistling from their car, telling Harry what they'd like to do to him. It's awful, truly. So that's why Louis stays. That's why he protects him. Because he is a perfect flower, and flowers deserve water and sunlight.
•••
Soon, the bus rolled to a stop, and the large doors opened once more. Three days until Louis Tomlinson's birthday would they be boarding a plane at the airport they just arrived at. Looking at the still-sleeping Harry, Louis decides that he would be strong, because someone needs to be. Yeah, he is still completely terrified of planes and getting into one, but Harry doesn't need to know that.
Or at least, he thinks he doesn't.
But, he already does.
Because Harry isn't actually asleep, and Louis' heartbeat isn't actually slow.
Harry knows that Louis is freaking out. So why doesn't he say anything?
•••
"Ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh," Louis says.
"What?"
"This line. Look. Look at this. We are at the very back of the line, literally the last people. This sign says it's an hour wait. It's like they want my legs to fall off," Louis groans.
"It's not that bad, Lou," Harry says, trying to lighten the mood.
"It's pretty bad."
"You'll survive."
"Barely."
"Oh my god, fine. You're just begging for it, aren't you?"
Louis chokes. Like, literally chokes on his own spit.
"I'm- what?!"
"Oh, come on. You're literally begging for me to carry you," Harry laughs, as if it was so, completely obvious.
Louis lets out a huge gasp of air. He puts his hands on his knees and takes a breath, flipping his hair as he stands up straighter.
"Oh. Oh. Oh, god. Lord," he says.
"What did you think I meant?" The too-innocent boy asks.
"I... nothing, Haz. You'll know when you're older."
"I'm a year younger than you."
"Soon to be two years."
"And then a year again in a couple of months."
"Douche," Louis jokes.
"Um, I think it's pronounced "touché", Lou," Harry says, half joking, half serious.
"Jesus christ," Louis thinks. "Out of all the men in this world, I choose to like him. What the fuck is wrong with me?"
"Hey!" Harry says. "Wanna hear a joke?"
"What the fuck is wrong with me?" He thinks.
•••
After around forty-five minutes of endless chatter and too many jokes from Harry, they finally get to the front of the line.
"Thank god!" Louis screams, all too loudly. "God bless this beautiful scanner, god bless this beautiful cart, god bless you, you beautiful security guard!" Louis shouts, hugging a small, black woman.
"Boy, you better get your grimy fingers away from my uniform before I-" she starts.
"Woah, woah. No need to get physical, you two. Let's just enjoy the fact that we made it to the front of the line, Lou. And ma'am, you look stunning," Harry says, turning into a full frog.
"Okay. Sorry. I'm just- sorry," Louis blushes, not knowing why the hell he just backed down from what could have been the best roast session ever.
Oh, yeah. He remembers.
It's because Harry told him not to.
What the fuck is wrong with him?
Oh, yeah. He remembers.
He feels feelings. For Harry, specifically.
•••
They walk through the security gates, and have their bags checked, and soon enough, they're free to do whatever they want.
Once they find a nice spot to put their luggage, they set off to find something to eat. Lo and behold, a restaurant based on the show Food Network lay ahead of them.
"Oh, Lou, look! It's that same restaurant that we ate at in England!" Harry says, full of joy.
"Oh, yeah! It is, Hazzy! Wanna go?" He responds, pretending like he so didn't request a table there, as well as a very special waiter to serve them.
"Yeah!"
They walked into the restaurant and were led to a table in the back. The two boys sat down and didn't even bother looking at the menus- mainly because they weren't given to them. And that was mainly because Louis specifically requested a particular meal to be delivered to them.
"You know Ed's moving to England again," Harry says,
"Oh, really? Is he moving anywhere near us?" Louis asks.
"Yeah, actually! You know that flat a bit down the street from us? The one that's been for sale for ages?"
"Yeah."
"He bought it!"
"No way! That's sick, H! Wow, can't believe a friend we made in another country is going to be our neighbor."
"I know!"
"Hi, may I take your order?" A familiar voice asks.
The boys looked up, one with a surprised expression on his face, and the other with a knowing one.
"Ed! Oh my god! We were just talking about you," Harry squeals, getting up and hugging him.
"Yeah, I heard," he chuckles.
"I thought you'd be on a plane to England by now. When are you leaving?" Harry asks.
"I had to do something here. Well, it's this. I had to do this. I'm leaving in three hours, actually."
"Wait- do what?" Harry asks, confused.
"This," he says, and goes into the kitchen, only a few feet away. He comes back out with two plates of macaroni and cheese.
"No. Way."
"Yeah, H. I did a little something. Do you like it?" Louis asks, hopeful. Jesus, something is seriously wrong with him. Whenever he's around this boy, this large, lanky, innocent boy, he just becomes a pile of jello. He gets all soft and mushy and he absolutely hates that he loves it.
"Like it? Lou, I love it. Thank you."
Meanwhile, Ed is in the background, snapping pictures of the two while taking a video of the situation.
"Oh, this is so going in the wedding video!" He squeals.
"How did you get a job here, anyways?" Harry asks after rolling his eyes to cover the blush that fluttered across his cheeks.
"I don't know. I guess I'm just a like able person. Funny, though, because I'm literally quitting in, like, an hour."
"So... can we... like- can we eat? Alone? Please?" Louis asks.
"Hey, don't be sassy with me. I did all of this for you in literally a day's notice," Ed says, sassily.
"I wasn't being sassy. That's me being nice."
"Oh. Well damn, Harry, what do you see in him?" Ed laughs.
"I don't even know," he mutters under his breath.
But Louis heard it.
"Okay, bye now, Orange!" Louis says, pushing him away from the table.
"Alright, I'm going."
He leaves the boys to eat their food. They stay there for about an hour, just eating and talking.
•••
"Alright. I promised you gummy bears. So, I'm buying you gummy bears," Louis says, pulling Harry into the much too-expensive gift shop.
"Yay!" Harry giggles. He giggles. And Louis breaks a little bit.
It's not that he giggled that was the problem. It's that a boy, a tall, lanky, long-haired boy, with a beaten-up face and a horrible past and a self esteem that's just too low for his amazing self still giggles through it all. That's the problem.
"Alright, love, go and grab whatever you'd like. Anything at all. I'm paying," Louis says.
"No, Lou, I can't-"
"Nope. I'm. Paying." Louis annunciates each word with a soft poke to Harry's chest.
"Fine."
Harry goes off to get his candy and crisps, and while he does so, Louis grabs his secret weapon and runs to pay for it.
"Here you are," he whispers to the cashier, trying to be discreet about it.
"That'll be $15.05!" the man screams.
"Shh! Sh- sorry. I'm trying to keep it a secret," Louis whispers.
"Oh! So-rrrr-y," the man whispers, a bit too over exaggerated for Louis' liking.
Louis takes giant pink teddy bear and puts it in his backpack, along with the paper plane necklace that he put around its neck. The bear was large enough to use as a pillow, but small enough to fit in his bag. Perfect.
Harry comes walking back with enough candy and crisps for the both of them, along with two waters.
"Ready, darling?" Louis asks.
"Yup."
Louis threw in an extra bag of gummy bears, adding onto the two bags he already had.
"No, Lou, you don't have t-"
"Nope. Sorry, Frog, but I am Daddy, and what Daddy says goes," Louis says, taking too long to realize that the "Daddy" he meant was not the "Daddy" that came across.
Harry blushed profusely, pulling up his hoodie over his face to hide it. He laughed unsurely inside the warm material. Meanwhile, Louis is mentally putting shovels up his ass for being such an idiot in front of Harry.
The cashier tried not to laugh, but it just kind of happened. It came out in a burst, like a fit of giggles, but times ten.
"Oi, just take the money and get on with your day, lad," Louis snaps.
He takes the money and gives Louis back the change, who pockets it. He grabs the bag full of treats and takes Harry's arm, leading him and his covered face out of the shop.
Harry is still laughing, which is weird, because it really wasn't all that funny. They stop outside of the shop and Louis sets the bag on a table.
"Harry... are you okay?" He asks.
And that's when he hears it.
"Wait, Harry, are you crying?" Louis asks, frantically.
Louis takes the hood off of his face and notices that yes, he is crying. Hysterically, I might add.
"Oh, Hazza, what happened? Is it what I said? Because I didn't mean for it to come out like th-" Louis asks, holding the fragile boy in his arms and glaring at anyone who dares to look at them.
"N- no, it's s- not that, I j- just snagged on one of the st- stitches when I pulled my h- hoodie over my face," the crying boy says.
"Oh, god, love, does it still hurt? It's not bleeding, which is good. You managed to pull it off, I'm glad about that. Are you okay? Oh, come here. Hey, you're strong, remember? You're strong and you're being amazing. God, going through so much pain and you're still a fucking warrior. I'm so proud of you."
Harry has stopped crying now, only a few sniffles coming from him. He nods and hugs Louis tighter, whispering little "thank you's" into his hoodie.
"Okay, our plane was just called. Let's get going," Louis says, guiding Harry towards their bags.
"Yeah, okay. H- hey, are you good? I know you're not so fond of planes. Are you okay? Do you need me at all?" Harry asks.
Louis considers telling him the truth, but decided against it after remembering what just happened. Someone needs to be strong for the other person, and he's taken on that role for the time being.
"I'm fine, Haz. Amazing, actually. I still want a little cuddle on the plane, though," he says, grabbing his bags.
"Why, I thought you'd never ask."
They stand in the line and wait for the people ahead of them to move. Once they do, they hand the attendant their tickets and walk to that hallway-type area that connects the plane and the airport. As they board, it's Louis now who has to glare at anyone who stares at the broken-faced, teary-eyed boy that walks next to him. Last time, he was in that position. And it sucked.
They go to find their seats, which are quite roomy, they might add. Louis would never admit this, but he bought out all three seats for every flight, so it would just be them. He wouldn't want some old-ass homophobic lady sitting next to them. Or worse, try to get in the middle of them.
Once they are seated and buckled, they decide to keep the backpack stocked with treats and the teddy bear next to them. Harry has the window, Louis in the middle. The backpack took the aisle.
They get comfortable, and soon enough, a flight attendant is standing at the front of the plane, demonstrating what to do when the plane has to be evacuated.
"You know how a parent is supposed to put a mask on them before they put it on their children?" Louis asks.
"Yeah?"
"I'd put one on you first."
"Why, because you're my daddy?" Harry smirks.
Louis drops his jaw dramatically, hitting the smaller boy's shoulder.
"Way to ruin my sweet-ass moment!" The blue-eyed boy shrieks.
"I'm sorry, darling," Harry winks.
Louis rolls his eyes, lovingly. The seatbelt sign dings, and Harry is proud of himself, knowing that he was already buckled in.
The pilot turns the plane on but doesn't start driving it yet, and Harry decides that now is a good time to make his move.
"Hey, Lou?" He starts.
"Hm?" He hums, looking over at the boy.
"I like you, too."
•••
A/N:
"I like you in the buy you all of your favorite things when you're sad, ask your friends what your favorite food is so I can make it for you, kiss the pout off your lips kind of way."
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. IT'S BEEN 84 YEARS JESUS CHRIST.
OKAY SO TECHNICALLY I'M NOT BACK, BECAUSE I PROBABLY WON'T BE UPDATING AGAIN FOR A LONG TIME.
Okay, calm. I'm calm. Calm. But my mother, god bless her soul, has allowed me to write and publish one chapter, because she knows how important this is to me and to all of you.
I haven't been on Instagram or Twitter or anything for a couple months and I'm having withdrawals I don't even know what's going on.
Has Larry come out yet?????
Is babygate over yet????
I don't even know.
I won't be on again for a long time, but I wanted to give you all this for the meantime.
I love you all so, so, so, so much, and I miss talking to you and responding to your comments and watching you all freak tf out.
Oh, yeah, I forgot. The chapter. Louis. Harry. Feelings.
So basically, they both feel these feelings that they know are romantic feelings, but they don't know if they're ready to be romantic together yet, you know? They're scared.
But don't worry. This vacation is going to be fun *evil laughter*.
They admitted their feelings! Yay!! Everyone lose your chill!!
Alright. I must go. I love you all so much, and I miss you.
All the love.
Zoe xx
INSTAGRAM: hoeforlarries/larryforthenight