With a groan, I roll off of Tobias' sweaty chest, hearing his breathing slowly return back to normal. We had a nice dinner together in an intimate area and we were both sending mixed signals, soon, we were leaving after a bottle of wine and chocolate cake. Tobias sped the way to the hotel and luckily since we are both from here, he know's shortcuts which was well needed.
"I love you," Tobias presses a kiss to my lips briefly leaving me with a goofy smile on my face, he grabs me by my waist and rolls me over so that I am back on top of him again. "Tris, I need to talk to you about something." My heart sinks in my chest.
"What about?" I can't hide the worry in my voice. I always anxious sometimes around him, I want to please him as a loving wife, mother, and friend. I feel as I need to please him so that he is proud of me.
"I want another baby." I nearly swallow my tongue, grateful that I wasn't drinking something because I would have choked. Another baby? We are not ready for that again! Financially, physically, and mentally. Yes, we have one spare room left but when they boys get older they are going to want their own rooms, I don't see us having a future in that loft. . . so we have to spend money on a new house, clothes if the baby is going to be a different gender, prenatal vitamins, hospital bills, food, all while making sure that our boys are satisfied. I also want a baby though, knowing that my family is growing. . . but, we just aren't ready.
"Another baby?" I question.
"Yeah, you know. Another one of us running around."
"But we don't even have the first two running around."
"True, but if you think about it. By the time you have the baby the boys would at least be a year and some months." Tobias protests.
"Mmh, I want a baby too. . . lets agree to wait until the boys turn one."
"I'm content with that." Tobias presses a kiss to my forehead, then my cheeks, then my nose.
+++
"I had a great time last night," Tobias says holding my hand as we walk up the walkway of my parent's house. I catch a glimpse of Susan's old house to see her mom, Mrs. Black, checking the mail. She looks older, more tired, "Go, I'll occupy your parents." Tobias says sensing my anticipation of walking over there. I peck his lips and walk over, I go through the lawn feeling the left over snow crunch under my boots.
"Mrs. Black!" I shout and wave my hand at her. She looks up from her stack of mail and squints her eyes as I get closer to her. A wide grin spreads across her tired face.
"Actually, it's Ms. Black now." She says as I stand in front of her, "I got divorced." she holds up her left hand where her stone ring used to be. I raise my eyebrows and she nods her head, I lean over and give her a long hug.
"Want to come in? I just started a fresh pot of coffee?" I glance towards my mother's house and nod my head.
+++
The black coffee hits the white mug and I sit with my hands clasped in front of me, sitting in the usual high-chair that goes along with the familiar island where Susan and I used to sit and study for school. She places creamer, milk, and sugar in the middle of the table and I mix my coffee, masking the strong taste.
"How's life been?" She asks with a wide grin on her face.
"Life has been. . . treating me better. Once I left here, and moved to Portland. I finished college and got a job, my voice was finally put to good use for singing. I got my degree in Law Enforcement and I have a job now as their, 'chief' in the Federal Bureau of Investigation side. I have great friends there like they are my family, I live in a loft downtown with my husband, two dogs, and two twin boys." She gasps as tears well in her eyes, I always felt glad to know that I was almost like a daughter to her.
"That's wonderful! Susan would have been so proud!" She giggles, now I finally see the difference in Ms. Black, she isn't as stuck up like she used to be. I guess seeing her daughter die of unhappiness made her really change her life around. "Why are you down here?" She takes a sip of her steaming hot coffee.
"Well, I came to visit my parents." I widen my eyes at her and she gives me a look. "We were in a huge fight and I am trying to make things right." She nods her head. "Enough talk of me, how are things here?"
"Well, I divorced Ethan. He just seemed to want to do his own thing. Ever since Susan died, I tried to clean up my act and do better by Robert before he ended up like her. Things are more quieter in Chicago, and honestly. I missed you."
+++
Talking to Mrs. Black was a great idea, we chatted briefly on a few things and we exchanged numbers. I walk across the lawn, thinking about me walking up to Susan's old room. So many emotions hit me in there that I couldn't help but to tears fall out of my eyes, she was my first bestfriend and she's gone. I bring my fist up to the door, hitting it three times. Tobias opens the door with Matthew in his arms, drinking from a bottle. Tobias lets out a grateful sigh and kisses me on the cheek as I walk past, "Great, Jonah is a little jealous that he's getting fed." Tobias smiles and I chuckle, walking into the kitchen where mom sits with her half eaten plate of food while holding a crying Jonah. "It took me ages to get him to take a bottle."
"Perfect." Mom lets out a sigh and hands me Jonah. I smile and kiss his forehead. I truly missed this, I now realize that I'm glad that I didn't stay here in Chicago and go with Susan and I's plan to leave here and now I am happy with the outcome.