Oh Hayoung's Point of View
Seconds after seconds, minutes after minutes, hours after hours, weeks after weeks, now the marriage was less than two weeks. Busy and busy. Here and there. Tired and tired. Sehun and Ahreum. Me and myself. No work. Alone. Dance. Music. Thought. Fear. Tears. Hurt. Hopeless. Colorless. Fake smile. Fake laugh. Fake happiness. Fake here. Fake there. All of that is me.
Without knowing, I feel something towards Sehun. Whether it's fake or true, it's all hopeless. Hatred filled in his eyes whenever he was near me or when he's looking at me. He's not too mean but still mean. Despite all of that bad things, somehow, I, still find good things about him.
Sitting in the car, staring out of the window is like a day routine for me. Again, it was all black and white. It reminds me of my life. It would be perfect if rain pour down. It'll be perfect to describe my life. Somehow, I hope that someone would be able to colour my life again. I would like someone to bring back my true smile, my true laugh, my true happiness and wash away all the fake in my life.
"Sweetie, we-"
I quickly get out of the car before my mom even finish her sentences. I know it's rude but what's more rude to put her child into an arrange marriage? I guess, my mom have to get used to my new behavior.
Here I am, standing outside my new house. No, Sehun and I's new house. From here, I can see him and his mom, just about to get in when they noticed my mom and I already arrived. My gaze change from his mom to him. His blank face didn't change since the first time I met him. Sometimes I can read his emotion but sometimes I can't.
"Since we are arrived, let's take a look together in the house." Mom said and grin widely.
I look on my left and saw a not-so-big and not-too-small pool. There are a dark brown, circle table and two chairs by the side of the pool. This house is too big for me and Sehun.
We walk inside just and from here I can see the living room. Wow this house is really big! I thought. Then we check the kitchen. There are so many cupboard and the kitchen is big too. Then, we explore all the room on the second floor. There are 4 rooms and each room has its own bathroom. I walk at the end of the hallway and push the door open. The wall was painted in a light brown colour. There's a queen size bed at the center of the room and there's a small table beside the bed. A bathroom, a closet and balcony. Perfect for me.
I quickly get out and run to them. I found them in the third room, which was beside the room I like. Sehun is just following and barely listen to what are the two ladies talking.
"Omma!" I called my mom but all of them turn their head towards me who's now approaching my mom.
"What is it?" She asked.
"I found a room for me. I guess, it's the fourth room and I want that room all by myself-"
"Wait wait wait. Did you just said 'a room for me' and 'I want that room all by myself?'' Mom looked at me in disbelief and her two hands are now on the side of her waist.
"Y-yes?" I stuttered, not knowing why mom look at me like that.
"Yah! You and Sehun are getting married. When you're married with him of course you need to sleep in a same bedroom with him." Mom said in a matter of fact.
"What?!" Sehun and I said together, jaw drop and eyes widen.
What could be more worse?
"Yah, you Oh Sehun don't want to sleep together with Hayoung?" His mom now standing in front of him with the same position my mom had.
"Do we really need to?" I suddenly asked, pouting.
"Of course!" Mom threw her hands on the air while rolling her eyes.
"B-but we really don't know each other and sleep together is just a bad idea." Sehun finally spoke.
"If you sleep together then you can know each other faster! No more protesting." His mom said, glaring at her son.
I groan and slap my forehead. Ugh! Everything is just a mess. Arrange marriage and now same bedroom?! Damn damn damn damn damn!
"So, this is your room. The both of you. Take a look okay? We're going outside. Make sure you talk to each other. I want you two get closer. Sehun, be nice to her." Mrs. Oh said and eyed Sehun.
The next thing I knew that I'm already alone with Sehun. At first, I'm scared because I don't want to hear such words from him. But then, I still can manage myself. I look up at him since he's taller than me- of course he's taller- and surprised to see that he's already staring at me. I play with my fingers because it's a habit when I'm nervous. I expect to see hatred in his eyes but there's no sign about hate at all in his eyes. I thought I was dreaming but I blinked twice and there's still no hatred in his eyes. I frown when I saw a glimpse of tiredness in his eyes.
Is he tired of me? It can't be...right?
An idea suddenly pop in my mind and I decided to say it.
I cleared my throat awkwardly before say, "I-I guess.. I'll just go.. Urm to the l-last bedroom. If you w-want something just find me..there."
Before I could go any further, Sehun grab my wrist and pull me in for a hug. He had wrapped his hand around me and his chin rested on top of my head. Meanwhile, I, on the other side, still can't process things. Am I really not dreaming? I blink my eyes rapidly but still he's hugging me. I widen my eyes as soon as I get back my sense.
"S-s-sehun.. W-what is w-wrong with y-y-you?" I stuttered.
I tried to break the hug but he ended up wrapping his arms around me tightly. I feel my heart beating getting more and more faster. I still didn't hug him back.
"Can we just stay like here for a moments? I'm tired of everything and I kinda miss Ahreum's presence." He chuckled bitterly yet so soft.
He's just tired and.. miss his girlfriend presence. I at least should comfort him.
I hesitantly hug his torso and pat his back few times. I couldn't help but smell his good scent. It's way too good. Yah! What am I thinking?! I should've ask him what's wrong right?
"Sehun, what's wrong actually? You know, you should let me go and talk to me. It's not something bad." I spoke softly.
He waited for a few seconds before he let go of me and I kinda felt empty. I brushed my thought away and look at him who's already standing at the balcony. I slowly walk beside him and check out his side view. Okay, I may say that his jaw is so sharp.
"I'm tired. I'm busy this past few weeks because of this..you know, arrange marriage. I don't really care about that. What I care now is about Ahreum. She caught me 'flirting' with a waiter and we kind of have.. misunderstood. I'm not flirting, I'm just talking to her but she's the one who's flirting with me so I don't want to be rude and just smile at her. We've not talk to each other for a few days. She has been ignoring my phone call and texts. I miss her." Sehun said, looking at the blue sky.
"Then why don't you go to her house and apologize?"
"It's not my fau-"
"I know, I know. You know, if your girlfriend is sulking, you should apologize or comfort her, even though it's not your fault. I'm a girl too, so I know." I told him.
He kept quite for a minute before spoke, "You're right."
I smile and keep quite. Both of us looking at the blue sky, watching the birds flying freely. It's such a good scene with the right timing.
My heart flutter when I recalled the way Sehun hugged me. His good scent. It feels... warm. But, my heart stop flutter when I remembered that he hugged me because he just miss Ahreum.
He cleared his throat and I turn my gaze towards him. He look at me with his blank face again. I stare into his eyes and I saw it. Hatred. How can he suddenly became like this? I thought.
"Well, I'm sorry for talking to you like this. I shouldn't have. You know-"
"I-it's okay. Don't worry." I cut him because I knew whats he's going to say. I don't want to hear that.
"Let me finish. You know, let's just pretend we didn't talk. Let's pretend I never hug you. It will become less awkward."
With that, he walked away. The blue sky earlier suddenly became dark and I heard thunder. Rain came pouring down with me still standing here. It feels like the sky can read me. The wind are blowing so hard, making me soaks a little.
I hate to admit this but
when he said those words
my mind suddenly became blank
and
my heart
ache.