*René above*
It's five twenty-five the following evening, and I find myself standing outside the bar, panting like I just ran a marathon. Which, to be fair, I feel like I just may have. After school ended at three I had to run all the way home, grab a change of clothes and the ace bandages, then I had to tell my mom I was going to some girl's house to work on a project and run all the way downtown within half hour because I missed the bus. Waiting would result in me not arriving until five forty-five and Violet said that René gets off at five-thirty exactly.
I look up at the brick exterior, tucked between a closed up store and a coffee shop. Coffee next to a bar? Smart if you ask me. Two very different moods, but coffee always cures my hangovers. Shaking my head of the pointless thoughts, I step inside and glance around. It's pretty quiet, minus the sound of baseball game playing on a screen above the actual bar and the chatter of three old men in the corner.
The only other person is a woman standing behind the bar, wiping down some glasses. I can see what Violet meant when she said I'd know the woman when I saw her. She's incredibly beautiful. Long, pale blonde hair, falling in waves around her shoulders. Her skin is fair and rosy. Her lips are full and pouty; a pale pink colour, looking petal soft. How do you even make them look that soft? Her eyes though, are sharp and calculating, a piercing grey colour that makes you feel like she knows things you don't.
Those exact eyes are trained on me as I step closer, her bold, but carefully shaped brow arcing. Despite her soft appearance, I can already tell she's not someone you mess with. She practically radiates sass and attitude, and it only increases when she speaks upon me stopping in front of her.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer," She says, voice not as high as I expect, and much smoother.
I frown, shaking my head, "Sorry, I uh-"
"You're not old enough to be in here, kid," She sighs, turning and wiping at the counter. "Don't even try to give me a fake. Your lost-puppy look screams high schooler."
My nose crinkles up at that, "I wasn't going to give you one, but thanks."
She looks over at me, eyes narrowed, "Seriously, quit staring. Unless you need something I can legally give you, get out."
I notice she has really prominent collar bones, and rather broad shoulders, despite how slender they are. I wish mine were more broad, and less narrow and dainty. Up close she's even prettier. Her features are soft, but hard at the same time. A dainty, pale, beauty mark rests on the right side of her upper lip. Her cheek bones are sharp, and her nose is petite and points upwards ever so slightly, adding to her sassiness somehow.
"Violet sent me," I say slowly, hoping this sheds some light, because even I don't really know why I'm here.
The woman's eyes widen slightly, only to narrow again, "How do you know Violet? Why would she send you to me?"
I shrug, opening my mouth uselessly a few times before words finally spill out, "I'm friends with her brother, and well, her too now. I--uhm--I've been going through stuff and sh-she said I should talk to you. She said you'd be more help than her."
A small smirk appears on her lips, "Ah. I see."
A well-built, and incredibly attractive man with rich, russet-brown skin walks in suddenly and steps up behind the bar, joining the woman. Wearing only a pair of dark denims and a tight-fitted black tee, I can't help but kind of ogle him as he pushes a set of sunglasses up into his short dark hair. His almost black-brown eyes bore into mine momentarily before focussing on the woman, who's fair, petite stature is such a sharp contrast to his dark, brooding appearance. They're polar opposites, but both are so... beautiful in extremes and I'm just here awkwardly looking like a damn potato.
"Is this guy bothering you, René?" He asks, his baritone voice intimidating.
The woman scoffs, "Please. I can handle myself, Darren."
I don't really know what to do with myself, so I just end up staring down at my beat up sneakers, wondering why on earth Violet thought this stranger could help me.
"What do you need, kid?" This Darren guy asks.
My head jerks up to meet his curious gaze, "I was sent by a friend of hers to... uhm, to be honest I don't even know. Violet was probably just--"
"You know Violet?" Darren asks, his eyes lighting up with recognition.
I nod, "Yeah."
"You good here, Dare?" René asks, sounding bored as she counts over what is in the till, not looking up at either of us.
Darren looks between the two of us before something seems to click for him and he smiles to himself, resting a hand on the woman's shoulder and taking her place, "Have fun."
For some reason, she rolls her eyes, and I open my mouth to say something, but she grabs my shoulder with a shockingly strong grip and turns me on my heel and starts dragging me towards the door.
Once outside, I stumble and come to a halt, "Where are we going?"
"My place," She says in a 'duh' voice.
I stay quiet, wondering just who this woman is and what Violet was thinking and what this woman seems to know that I don't. She seems to have caught on to Violet's intentions, but I'm still unsure if that means that she knows that I'm-- well, that. Why would we have to go to her place? Is this smart? Is it really safe to take off with some stranger to their home? Then again, both her and Darren seem to know Violet well, and Violet doesn't seem the type to hang around sketchy people. I doubt she'd send me off with someone dangerous.
"Would you relax? Jesus, I'm getting stressed out just looking at you," The woman sighs, shaking my shoulder as a way of making me loosen up.
I offer a small smile, "Sorry. I just... this is odd for me, I don't normally take off with people I don't know. Hell, I hardly talk to anyone in general."
"Good thing I'm not just anyone," She says, sending a playful wink my way.
I blush, choosing to stay quiet the rest of the walk. We eventually come down a street, which looks more like a large alley with brick, industrial looking buildings on either side, that would make my mother faint if she knew I wandered down it. We eventually come to a metal door, and the woman--who by the way doesn't look like she belongs down here at all in her white blouse and black plack pencil skirt-- unlocks it with a key she pulls from her purse and pulls the sliding door open and gestures for me to go first.
We climb up a flight of stairs and I'm soon led into what looks like a warehouse styled apartment. There are large industrial windows, and the walls are brick, and ceiling is high and you can see the metal rafters. Everything else though, is comfy and actually strangely nice. Much like everything else about this woman. She's not rich by any means, but there's something really homey about the place.
"You can take a seat in the living room. Want a cup of tea?" She asks, still sounding bored.
I nod, "Yes, please."
I take off my jacket, leaving me in my maroon coloured, long-sleeve and black skinnies. My chest aches, but I'm sure this won't take long so hopefully I can go home and take the bandages off soon and soak my sore body in a warm bath.
The woman comes out moments later and sets down two cups of tea, sitting in an armchair across from me, "What's your name, kid?"
I frown at that, "It's Theo, so please stop calling me, Kid."
Her stony expression softens into a smirk at that, "Nice name. Attitude isn't bad either."
I hold back a smirk of my own and nod in thanks, "Do you mind telling me why Violet thought You could help me? I mean, I'm sure you're great, and I appreciate the hospitality, but I don't know you and I really don't understand how you could understand my problem at all."
Her smirk turns into a grin, and I'm completely lost on what's so amusing. "Tell me, Theo. Do you ever look around at people and wonder why you feel like you don't quite fit in with who you're supposed to? Do you ever question why you were born the way you were? Do you ever look in the mirror and feel like you're staring at a stranger?"
My eyes widen at her words.
She stands, stepping backwards, before slowly turning her back. My brow furrows in complete confusion as she kicks off her heels, slowly unbuttoning her blouse just out of my line of view. My eyes widen as I start to tell her to stop, wondering just what the hell she thinks she's doing, but her voice cuts me off.
"Do you ever wish you were someone different? Have you ever felt like you were someone else inside?"
Her blouse drops to the floor, revealing her slender, fair-skinned back to me, along with the back of a simple, white bra. I feel frozen, completely stunned that this gorgeous woman is literally stripping in front of me. What is even happening right now? Violet, I swear if you sent me to a hooker as a twisted way of cheering me up, I'll never forgive you. I'm not even into girls!
As her skirt drops into a pool around her ankles, being kicked to the side, revealing white panties, I feel my cheeks burn hot as I gulp awkwardly. "Tell me, Theo. Do you think I'm beautiful?"
I frown at her question, almost feeling saddened for some reason, "Of course, ma'am. You're stunning, but-"
Before I can say anymore, she's reaching back to undo the bra, letting it drop to the floor. My breath hitches in my throat as my face literally blazes, and when she turns, all air escapes me. I certainly was not expecting this. Of all the things that I was prepared to see, this was truly not it.
Before me, is no longer the same woman I saw mere seconds ago. I mean, her face is the same, and her legs and arms are still smooth and slender and elegant. Her chest however... or perhaps lack thereof is what shocks me. That and the bulge in her panties. She's... not a she at all. I mean, she is? But, physically? Oh god, my brain hurts. One of the prettiest women I've ever met has their junk out in front of me, and I never thought that would be a sentence to float through my mind.
René seems pleased with my reaction as she smiles softly to herself, walking away only to come back in a pair of sweats and a loose tank top. Hair pulled up into a bun out of her face. "I'm sorry to shock you like that, but I figured the best way to make you trust me is to prove to you that I'm just like you. I mean, not quite the same, but you get my point."
"You're... transgender?" I say, voice barely above a whisper.
"Loud and proud, darling," She says wit ha grin. "Now, tell me. What's this problem of yours?"
I sigh, leaning back against the sofa, finally relaxing a little. I don't know if I should trust this woman, but the fact that Violet recommended her, and that this person literally just bared themselves to me just so I'd trust and believe them, well I feel like I really would be a dick if I just up and left.
"I come from a super religious family, so you can already imagine how problematic that is," I start, staring down into my cup of tea. "My entire life I felt different. I hated the way my mother tried to raise me as the perfect daughter. I'm not and can never be her, and my mom hates me for that. I know she does. I've never liked what I saw in the mirror, and I envied boys for something I couldn't really pinpoint until recently. Over the summer I learned what transgender was, I'd never even heard about it before, and... I don't know I guess everything just clicked."
The woman nods, thinking over my words before looking at me in a way that tells me to continue. So I do exactly that.
"Anyway, my birth name is Theresa Carson. The first time I went out, purposely dressed masculine, is when I met Violet's brother Reed for the first time. This is before I even knew her. He mistook me for an actual guy and when he asked my name, I didn't correct him in his assumption and told him my name was Theo which was honestly the first thing close to my real name I could think of. Ever since that happened, my life has just become one big dramatic mess.
"I went on to meet Reed again as Theresa at school. He didn't recognize me and now he's good friends with Theresa, and having a strange thing with Theo. I'm literally never not stressed about him finding out that Theo is really a girl, or Theresa is really the one dressed up as a guy and that he'll believe I'm just messing with him to hurt him."
"Theo, hunny," René says, arcing her brow again. "Your sex may be that of a girl's, but your gender is completely separate. If you know in your heart that you are a boy, then that's what you are. A boy. No matter what your current body tells you. Stop speaking of yourself as if you're not a real boy, got it?"
My eyes water at her words, my head nodding without thinking, "I just... I should have told him, but I got scared and now it's been so long that I've kept this up, I'm scared it'll be even worse now to say anything. I really like him, and he really likes my real self, when I'm Theo in front of him. But... what if he hates me when he finds out? He's the only person who treats me solely as a boy. Not as Theresa the girl, or Theresa the transgender. Just as Theo. I don't want to lose that."
The previously cold and stoic woman suddenly frowns, coming over to sit next to me and pull me into a tight embrace, "You listen here, sweet little Theo. If he really cares about you, you'll work through it. If he doesn't take it well, then he's just not right for you. There will be others who will accept and care about you. In our world, it's always scary, but there are always people out there who will love you for who you are."
I hold tightly onto the woman, burying my face into the crook of her neck, "Thank you."
"No need," She says, rocking us a little. "We're in the same boat. We're part of a community. As someone who's been where you are, why wouldn't I help you if I can? Lord knows I wish I had someone relatable to help me when I was growing up. Maybe then I'd be less of a jaded bitch."
I laugh at that, "I don't think you're a bitch."
"Oh, now you're just trying to suck up," She scoffs.
I pull away, wiping at my eyes, sitting in silence for a moment, "Do you mind if I change here before heading home? Only my cousin and Violet know about me, so I can't really go home dressed like this."
René looks down at her cup of tea, a nostalgic look in her eyes as she nods, "Yeah the bathroom is right through the kitchen."
Not questioning her strange quietness, I grab my backpack and hurry into the bathroom. I strip down, switching my maroon shirt for a loose, long-sleeve, grey sweater, a white-knit infinity scarf. My black skinnies get swapped with a pair of light blue jeans and then my sneakers get swapped with those annoying booties my mom bought. I take off my hat and let down my hair, combing it out with my fingers, before pulling out my small makeup bag to apply a little grey shadow and mascara. Just the way my mom likes.
After shoving everything back in my bag, I step out and René hums as she looks over my appearance, "You're beautiful, I'll give you that, but you looked much more attractive before. Hell, if I saw Theo in a bar, I just might give him my number."
I grin and shake my head, "Shut up."
"I speak the truth, darling!" She exclaims, placing a well manicured hand on her hip.
Despite her bluntness and ability to make you blush like a fool without batting an eye, she's not half bad. I actually liked spending this time with her, and that thought has me following her into her kitchen as she clears our teacups.
"I should go, but... uhm," I say, not sure how to ask.
Without looking up at me, she says, "Already slipped my number in your coat pocket. Call me sometime, don't text me. I want to hear Theo's sexy voice."
I chuckle, knowing she's just playing with me, "Okay... thanks René."
She nods, continuing to wash up the dishes in the sink, but as I turn and am about to walk out her front door, she calls after me, catching my attention. I look back, seeing her leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, smirking at me.
"You're pretty alright, Theo," She tells me.
I smile, shrugging as I start walking out, "Tell me something I don't know."
She laughs, and I smile happily as I walk out, feeling a new kind of confidence I didn't posses before.
**
"Come on, Laney!" I groan, following after him as he, Carter and I walk down the street towards Lane's house after Carter somehow convince my parents to let us stay there tonight. "I promise! I was going to tell you!"
He looks at me over his shoulder before looking straight again, making a 'hmph' sound, ignoring me completely. I pout, clinging to his arm pathetically, but my size really doesn't help me, because I just end up being dragged along effortlessly. Carter finds this hilarious, and fails to stifle his snickers when I glare at him.
Still being ignored, I opt to jump up onto my best friend's back, and throw my hands over his face, causing him to stumble to a stop, "Would you stop ignoring me!?"
"Reesy! What the shit!?" He shouts, tripping over the edge of the curb, only to leap back onto the sidewalk. "You could have just killed me!"
"Oh, don't be so dramatic," I say with a droll smirk. "It's your own fault for ignoring me."
"It's your fault I'm ignoring you," He grumbles, making Carter sigh.
"Guys, can't we get along-" He starts.
"Stay out of it!" We both shout in unison.
"He's my cousin, and I get first dibs," I say childishly.
Lane reaches back and starts tickling me to make me let go, which really only results in my squirming as I laugh, pulling back on his face and making him stumble backwards until he falls, twisting so he doesn't land on me. He makes a loud 'oomph' sound as I land on top of him, sitting up innocently, but not moving.
"I hate you," He whines.
I grin at that, "Nah, you love me."
"No, I don't," He grumbles. "You didn't tell me my favourite person was in town."
"Hey!" I complain, at the same time Carter 'aww's.
I roll my eyes, getting up off my friend before I suffocate him with my fatness, and pull him to his feet. "Okay, okay. I promise I'll let you know right away next time. Happy your highness?"
"I'll be happier if you buy me ice cream for lunch tomorrow to make up for it," He says with an innocent grin.
I narrow my eyes, pushing him along, "Don't push your luck."
So, when I got home, Lane was already there and more than a little butt-hurt that I neglected to tell him Carter was in town. Like I've said, the three of us are like the three musketeers. We grew up together and were tight as they come. I can see why Lane is upset, but in my opinion, it's best he didn't see the condition I found Carter in. I'm pretty protective over my cousin, but Lane is like the mother of our trio. If he sees us hurting, he goes into automatic over-defensive and overbearing mode. I love it when I'm sad and he's right there and ready to take care of me, but I know that Carter just needed time to think and let loose a little, and I gave him that.
"Sorry Lane-babe," Carter teases, throwing an arm over Lane's shoulder. "It's my fault too, I should have told you I was coming."
Lane looks between the two of us and sighs, and just like that, we're off the hook. When we get to Lane's house, he rushes us downstairs to his room and shuts the door, shouting a quick hello to his mother to keep her from coming down curiously looking for her son.
I immediately drop down on Lane's comfy bed, tired as all hell after my day.
"You know what this reunion needs?" Lane asks happily.
Carter and I look up at him curiously. "Drinks! be right back."
As soon as he rushes out, we both groan, remembering how hungover we were only yesterday, but not wanting to let Lane know we went out to a party without him as well as left him out of our little reunion, we both silence ourselves in a quiet agreement to just make him happy tonight.
"So, how'd it go?" Carter asks quietly.
I had told him that I was going to visit René and about how incredibly nervous I'd been, "Really good, actually. Violet was right, she might actually be really helpful. Turns out we're... a lot more alike than I originally thought."
Carter tilts his head curiously, about to ask just what I mean by that, but Lane slips back into the room just then, and Carter knows to drop the subject immediately. "I got Bacardi and beer. Pick your poison."
My stomach lurches, but I grab a beer anyway and sit back with Lane joining me and Carter lounging lazily in the computer chair. We hangout like this for most of the night, just catching up and to be honest, it feels nice. It's been so long since the three of us have been together like this, and after the lovely meeting with René, this is just the cherry on the cake.
So, for once, I just forget about my stresses and let myself enjoy my night with my bestfriends.
(A/N)
So what did you guys think of René? I freaking love her! She's played by Andreja pejic, an actual mtf model who I'm one hundred percent in love with. Like, I loved her when she did male modelling, but after transitioning she became even more attractive and it's just not fair on my poor little heart.
She's going to play a pretty important roll and I'd just like to know what you guys think of her character :) I'd also like to hear what you guys think of everything and everyone so far and where you think this is all going!
Anyway, love you all and hope you enjoyed!
~Shay<3