I now knew what missing someone felt like. He was gone. Away.
Maybe I was over reacting. He was just gone for the inter state basket ball tournament. But I still missed him like nothing else.
The worst part was - he didn't even inform me before he left. He just texted me when they already reached California. Yeah they were freaking gone to California!
His text was just simple, informing me that he has reached Cali for the tournament and will return after a week.
I felt empty inside.
I expected him to come to me and say goodbye nicely, warmly, lovingly.
But he did not do any of them.
He always went for tournaments, every year, and he would tell me a day before about it. Wherever he went, he promised to get gifts for me.
This year, none of this happened. No promises. No good byes.
After my birthday night, he was already behaving very distant. I was so drunk that I didn't even remember now what did I do?
I asked Emma but she said nothing at all happened that would make Zayd upset.
I was confused as hell.
I groaned in frustration.
"Miss Sullivan, would you like to tell the class what are you groaning about?" Miss Amanda, the chemistry teacher asked.
I looked up at her; totally startled.
Hesitatingly, I stood up.
"Um...actually I've got stomach ache..." I tried to lie.
But anyone could evidently see that I was purely lying.
"Oh. Then you should visit the clinic, isn't that?" She worriedly told me.
"No, its fine...I'll go afterwards.."
I somehow managed that stupid good for nothing lady and sat down; still irritated and confused about whatever was going on in my life.
I missed him badly.
Even in math class today, I got bored. We both usually sat at the last bench, talking and mocking the teacher. But today I just concentrated on whatever algebra shit that teacher was teaching.
Everything right now irritated me.
After Chemistry, I silently walked towards the debating room. I hated to walk myself there right now.
The people I least wanted to see right now were Tiana and James. And they both would be obviously there.
Since Zayd's and Tiana's breakup, Tiana has been really bitchy and mean to me. She was jealous by the fact that Zayd wasn't mourning anymore about her. In fact he was better than normal with me and we always had fun in the school together. This made her burn with anger and she threw all her frustration at me in the debating room.
I somehow handled her and James also took my side most of the time so it wasn't that hard.
But recently James was behaving so differently. He was being actual weird. I wasn't sure about today's encounter.
I reached the room and pushed the door open. Everybody was already there and were seated in the first row. I went and sat down near a girl. She smiled at me and I smiled back.
"So, you finally showed up. You're fifteen minutes late," Tiana stood in front of me with crossed hands; saying this meanly.
I suppressed to roll my eyes.
I stood up and looked at her, cocking an eyebrow. Today I won't let her win.
"Why do you behave like my mom? Oh, I forgot, you've been a mom once already...just when you were sixteen, right?" I snapped back at her.
Yes. She definitely deserved it.
Her face heated up in embarrassment and she flushed. She looked around and I followed her sight. Everybody stared at us silently. The girls had a sympathetic expression on their faces and the guys just stayed blank. James was almost smirking.
"You! I'll get back to you!" She walked away with a frustrated ass.
She went out of the room in just one flash.
I couldn't believe that just happened. I bursted into bits of laughter. James and a few girls joined me.
Yeah, maybe I was bitchy. But I was sick with her everyday new meany comebacks. She had to face this. And well, let's just say everyone gets bad at one or the other point of their life.
"You're a star, you know that?" James smiled at me and said.
"Thanks, I know," I winked back; exclaiming.
"So..." He trailed off. But continued after some seconds, "Would you like to go out on a coffee today..or somewhere else?" He softly asked.
Did. He. Just. Ask. Me. Out?
"Um...I don't know James. I'll tell you afterwards..okay? Let's continue our preparations now." I grinned forcefully and sat down to write again.
He nodded and left disappointingly.
I sighed in relief and then started to think some more points. Apparently we were now qualified to the next level of inter school debate competition.
We will now compete with a high school of nearby town. We had to win it anyhow.
The preparations were fine this time. And Tiana was also working regularly and not bunking. So we had a chance of victory again.
After school, I almost raced my car out of the school. I didn't want James to catch me and ask me out again.
I didn't want to go with him at all.
Reaching home, the first thing I did was to call Zayd.
He didn't pick up the first call but when I continued calling him, he had to pick up.
"WHAT? Don't you understand I'm at practice?" He shouted at the other side.
I suddenly got shocked. How could he shout at me like that?
No one ever talked to me like that. And he definitely never shouted at me like that.
I couldn't register this.
No.
"Alright, bye." I hung up the call and switched off my phone; throwing it away.
Anger was already raging in my nerves. I quickly changed and went to bed. I just wanted to sleep. Let him go to hell. Let him just shout at me.
I didn't know what I did wrong. But whatever he was doing with me, was wrong.
I pressed my eyes shut and tried to sleep.
Unfortunately, tears sprung in my eyes and flowed down my cheeks continuously. I let them flow. They would take my anger away, I knew.
They kept sliding down till I cried myself to sleep and then drifted away to the dreamland where no one shouted at me, no one became bitchy, no one went away.
____________________________________
The love of my life just got crashed by my mom. She kept on shaking me till I opened my eyes and told her that I was getting up. Ugh. If only I could marry my love named sleep!
It was seven now. I couldn't believe I slept so much. I was sleeping so much nowadays.
I've heard people who are in stress slept a lot. Was I stressed?
Rubbish.
My food kept me stress free.
I washed my face and had dinner with mom. I was mostly silent and she sensed my sadness. But when I told her I didn't want to talk about it, she didn't push it.
Argh! Why didn't she?
I wanted to talk about it with someone. But she was just...too stubborn.
Maybe I was.
After dinner, I finally switched on my phone. I knew I would get some text messages or unanswered calls from Zayd. He never left me alone when I was sad and angry at the same time.
But my excitement and hope fell when I saw nothing. No texts. No calls. Nothing. None.
My face went pale and I started sweating.
I didn't know what was happening with me. But it exactly felt like a heart break.
I felt my expectations getting shattered into bits and my hopes dying.
I sat down on the floor near the bed and held it for support.
I closed my eyes.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Yup. I was fine now.
He was just busy. Like he said, he was busy practicing. He didn't have time to text at all.
But it was dinner time now. He should be free by now.
Off course. But he would be tired, right? He wanted to rest and sleep away the night. I understood him completely.
Yeah, but he always stayed when you became upset or sad. He was behaving like a dick today...
No. No. No. No. No.
Shut up.
I wasn't going to think shit. I just needed to stay calm. I tried to relax myself by doing my homework, reading a book, writing some poetry. But none of them worked.
I finally gave up and ended up socializing.
I was on my laptop, passing the time at Facebook when my sight fell on a picture that one of the guys from our school uploaded.
He was a basketball player too and was on the tournament.
That photo took the color off my face. It was only one guy in the photo who gained all my attention.
Zayd.
It was a picture of all the guys at the nightclub. Most of the tournament guys were standing near the bar; holding a drink in their hands. Jordan was there too and a bimbo sat on his lap.
But I didn't care.
All I cared was Zayd stood at the side of the bar. Two girls stood on either side of him and his arms were around their waists. He was holding both of them so tightly and intimately that it hurt.
The caption head that picture had was: first night out of the tournament.
Practice starts tomorrow. We're all ready to win.
The anger that I had was now equally doubled.
He LIED to me. He lied that he was practicing. When all they did was to party today.
Why was he doing all this?
And what about those girls? Why was he holding both of them so closely?
He promised me he would try and not flirt with girls now. And he ignored it all this whole month. I was so glad that he finally stopped all that. But I guess, James was right.
Once a Playboy, always a Playboy.
My eyes filled and I let the tears flow freely this time.
But I just decided I would not call or text him now. He would himself had to contact. I will NOT at all do it.
Maybe, he was bored of me.
Maybe, he finally got tired of me.
Maybe, he needed a new sex buddy now.
Maybe, he never felt that way about me.
Maybe. Just maybe.
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So guys, I am damn damn sleepy right now and not in a mood to talk anything.
Sorry for all the mistakes but just for this chapter, PLEASE ignore. I'm half asleep.
See you.
-Ana
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