Chapter 8: Dagger
"You can read auras?" I repeated. I hadn't believed that was possible for humans. Pokemon, yes, but humans? Humans with their scrawny brains that hardly any of the species ever used? No. Impossible.
"Yeah. I can sense peoples' emotions. I only found out once my parents died. I hear that people who can read auras usually figure it out after a big emotional event." She stated sadly, "I only have my brother. He's about your age. He was on his journey at the time and had to come home to take care of me. He didn't mind. He never minded taking care of me."
"You don't act your age." I said slowly. She was talking about these events like an adult, with a maturity I'd never guessed a child could possess.
"No." She smiled, "But neither do you."
I realized she was right and that we had more in common than I thought.
"Who did you lose, Paul?" Demi asked.
I looked at the sky.
"I don't know why you're avoiding thinking about him when I can feel how upset you are. I felt it even before we started talking."
"I don't remember giving you permission to read my aura." I said coolly.
"I can't help it all the time. It's hard to control."
Her innocent expression made me wonder if she was trustworthy.
"Why wouldn't I be trustworthy?" Demi asked with a frown.
"You can read thoughts too?" I asked, incredulous. Of course I run into a mind reader. "Well, not all the time, but it's just obvious that you don't trust me. When you're mad about something, those thoughts really scream at me. Same with other people. When people are happy, it more just poofs out in a soft way, but in a way that's really pretty and warm and gets your attention. Negative feelings are more like cries for help, you know?" Demi finished, looking at me like what she'd said made perfect sense.
"Sure."
"So who died?"
"I'm not telling you. Go away."
"The match was a draw so I don't have to leave you alone."
"You forfeited. I won. Go away."
"No! Besides, I was winning."
"You're getting in the way of what I was trying to do." I said, my voice rising.
"And what were you trying to do?"
"I was trying to be alone."
"Why?"
"Because I'm sick of everyone is why." I snapped, done.
Demi recoiled a bit. I turned around. I didn't have to talk to her. I was done talking to her. I didn't want to talk about it.
I remembered that we both seemed like the odd ones out of our age group.
I didn't want to talk to her. I was done talking to the little smarty pants that thought she knew everything, the aggravating aura reader. I didn't want to talk about anything in my life.
I remembered that her parents had died.
I didn't want to talk to her. I was done thinking about how everyone who seemed to matter was dead. I didn't want to talk about how destroyed my heart felt about it, how it seemed like every time I thought about him, I got worse instead of better.
"Hey..." Demi said softly, "It gets better, you know. If you let it."
"How?" I said roughly.
"You get out of the dark and let the dawn come, of course. Because light always helps."
"Dawn." I stated quietly, thinking of my Dawn. I did feel more whole with her around. Yesterday, she'd been the only one to make me feel even slightly at peace.
"So you do have some light in your life after all." Demi came and stood next to me.
I nodded minutely, more to myself.
"Do you talk to her about it?"
"No. It's too painful." I stated, not liking that I was opening myself up to this strange girl, but forcing myself to. Otherwise, she'd read my thoughts, and it'd be against my will.
"But you love this girl."
I looked down at Demi, who shrugged.
"Yes. I do." I admitted, not really enjoying having her know that.
"So you should talk about the things you don't let people hear. Otherwise your heart gets all dark like it is now."
"Don't tell me you can see hearts too." I said, annoyed.
"Oh, don't be ridiculous. I can only read minds." Demi rolled her eyes.
"Yes. I'm the ridiculous one." I stuffed my hands in my pockets, mentally shaking my head.
"You're not going to talk about it to me." Demi said gently.
"No."
"Will you be 'stuck' at the church for a while this week?" Demi asked.
"Maybe."
"Well, then maybe I'll see you. My brother is inside working."
"Working?"
"Yeah. We're not stuck here, but we're meant to be here. We just didn't need anything crazy happening to us to know that." Demi stated like it was the most normal thing in the world to say that rockslides happen all for the sake of people going to a church garden.
"I probably won't see you then." I stated, walking away.
"Don't count on it!" Demi yelled cheerfully as I walked away.
I headed back to the Pokemon Center, grimacing the whole while. I knew Dawn would most likely be there, waiting to yell at me. Not to my surprise, when I got back, she was sitting on the couch closest to the Pokemon Center door with Piplup on her lap. Both of them were death glaring at me. I didn't expect anything less.
She stood up. Piplup began chirping madly in her arms. I walked towards our room so this could be a private event instead of attracting a crowd of Trainers to listen to her yell at me. It didn't seem like a nice way to spend the afternoon.
"Paul." Dawn said firmly as soon as I closed the door behind her. She kept up a spiel as I started putting my things where they belonged in the room, "I can't believe you took off without me. I mean, what were you thinking? I just can't believe you'd do that again. Don't you know how worried I was? You didn't leave a note or anything telling me what was going on. You don't have a Pokegear, so I couldn't call you. Do you know how many places I went to look for you? Do you have any idea how worried I was about you? Do you even care?"
I decided to sit on my bed as she posed in front of me, hands on her hips. Piplup had jumped out of her arms, following me around and trilling during the entire speech, which really didn't help my nerves.
Dawn's eyebrows were pulled down in frustration as she looked at me. I felt my remaining energy drain away as I looked at her. I hadn't slept well. A child had practically beaten me at a battle, read my mind, and badgered me into talking about things I refused to talk about, and now I was getting yelled at by Dawn. I deserved it, but why were people continually trying to force me to do things I didn't want to do?
Something in Dawn's face changed. She sighed and sat down by me on the bed tiredly. I remained quiet, not sure what to say.
Dawn said quietly, "Do you remember how I hurt my wrist?"
I glanced at her hands, which were folded in her lap.
"You'd run away without an explanation." Dawn explained.
Of course I remembered that. It seemed like I was more cowardly than I cared to say.
"I didn't know where you were going then, and today it just felt so much like that, but worse..." Dawn trailed off.
I grabbed her left hand and studied it. The one that had been in a splint for so long, all because of me.
"That day that I ran away," I gripped her hand tightly and took a deep breath, "that was the day I realized I felt more for you than I'd been aware of. More than I wanted to allow myself."
I felt her body tense as if waiting for more. I'd been horrible to her today. She needed to hear some truth.
"That day, I started really seeing you for who you were, without any critical barriers put up." I continued, "For the first time, you weren't just some girl following me around. You'd become insightful, smart, and patient. And as often as I claimed to myself that it was you who'd changed, really, it was me who had. I'd finally allowed myself to see you as the person I should have been seeing since the very beginning."
I was looking towards the window, the sunlight glinting off the surface. It didn't blind me and I could see clearly outside to the bright sky.
Dawn's grasp tightened on my hand and her head came down on my shoulder. I heard her sniff and shifted my body to hold her.
"I'm really sorry, Dawn." I said softly, "I shouldn't have left. Either time."
She shook her head and I could tell she was crying. My heart cringed in my chest. I hadn't meant to make her cry. Or worry.
"I want to be more truthful with you, but there are some things that you need to be patient about. It's not that I don't trust you." I murmured, trying to think of the right words, "...It's as if a dagger buried into me, damaging everything inside, though not fatally. If I pull it out, I'll bleed until I can't anymore. I don't want that to happen until I'm prepared for its removal."
Dawn removed her head and looked at me with watery eyes, "I'm sorry."
"Why?" I asked, surprised. I'm the one who'd been messing up, not her.
"I kept pushing you. I've been pushing so much. I thought I'd gotten better at that, but..."
"Dawn." I said firmly, "That wouldn't have happened if I'd just communicated my feelings to you. Don't blame yourself. The burden is mine to bear."
Dawn grabbed my hand, "When you're ready, I want to help you bear it."
I frowned. I'd never had someone so determined to get involved in my life, much less want to help me with anything, especially emotional past events.
"Thank you." I said, meaning it. It felt like some weight was lifted off my shoulders. Still, my body was tired and my brain wasn't functioning at normal capacity.
"You look like you're ready to keel over." Dawn whispered, running a hand over my forehead, "You haven't been sleeping well, I know. Here, take a nap. I'll keep you company."
I saw Piplup peek his head up at the corner of the bed. Dawn picked him up quickly, "Hey, I don't think there's room for you, but you can sleep on my bed."
Piplup crossed his flippers and scowled.
"Don't worry, it's just a nap. You get the whole bed to yourself. Don't be mad." Dawn kissed the top of his head and he melted, just like I did with her gentleness. Odd that I shared a quality with him. Dawn tucked him in and came back, lying down next to me.
My eyes felt like closing, but I wanted to stare at her. I brushed my fingers against her cheek, smooth as silk. Her eyes glittered a bit more than usual because of her recent tears, though she looked happy. Demi's childlike eyes came to mind.
"Why do you like kids?" I asked Dawn.
I saw her confusion at the sudden question, "Because they're cute and innocent and loving."
"Is that all?"
"Of course not. That's like saying all you are is grumpy, stubborn, and smart. That's not all there is to you, is there?"
I didn't like when people proved me wrong. I paused, "I met a little girl today."
"Where?"
"The church." I said unwillingly.
Dawn's eyes widened, "You went back to the church?"
"They have a nice garden." I explained offhandedly.
"I thought you said that the amount of time it took to plant flowers in the form of art-"
"Was a waste of time that should be spent on other, more important skills, yes." I sighed, "But we haven't been in a forest and it's making me realize how much I miss it by being in this town. The mountains swallow up the sky on all sides. When I'm surrounded by trees, that doesn't seem to bother me as much."
"I never knew you cared about the sky so much." Dawn whispered.
"I do now that Bagon has evolved." I said, "The sky means more to us now."
Dawn nodded, "So why's this girl so important?"
"She wants me to start opening up to people."
Dawn cracked a smile, "You talked to a little girl about feelings?"
"No." I stated, trying to be clear, "I avoided talking to a little girl, who then became so irritating that I was forced to talk to her about how I shouldn't bottle up my feelings."
Dawn laughed, burying her head against my chest. I rolled my eyes, waiting it out.
"She really did that?" Dawn asked.
"Yes." I sighed.
"I want to meet her."
"No."
"Why?" Dawn peered up at me, frowning.
"Because I'm never going back to that church again."
"Are you scared of a little girl?" Dawn asked slyly.
Her eyes smiled at mine, "We're going back tomorrow morning."
"That's what I thought." Dawn cuddled against me again.
I felt very manipulated. It wasn't a good day. I blamed it on lack of sleep.
"Hey, Paul?"
"Yes?"
"Thanks for telling me, for being truthful about so much. For making things heal. I'll be patient with you. And, for what it matters, you're a lot better at opening up than you used to be." Dawn whispered.
I scooted down, lifting her chin, "For what it matters, I love you."
Her forehead touched mine, "For what it matters, I love you too."
I breathed in her sweet scent, finally relaxing. Perhaps it was a good day after all.
"Even if you're scared of little girls." Dawn added.
Or maybe not.
"I'm taking my nap now." I stated, rolling over.
I heard Dawn chuckle softly before she pressed her face against my back. I fell asleep quickly after, feeling more at peace than I had all day.
"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2
Hey Readers!
Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) What I really love about Paul and Dawn is that they're so different. Paul actually has a deep past and their relationship isn't perfect. I don't think any romantic relationship is perfect- so please, if you're reading this right now, heed my words: Romeo and Juliet doesn't happen. Love at first sight=lust at first sight. And they both die (spoiler alert). Disney happily ever afters aren't realistic (as much as I love Disney). What IS realistic is happy relationships that take lots and lots of hard work and compromise. So for all of you out there, no matter how old you are, single, dating, married, elephant, whatever- work at every single type of relationship you have because loving relationships require work. Not agreeing about everything is normal. That doesn't mean you're doomed. Just work to love regardless.
My point of that paragraph? Dawn and Paul don't have a perfect relationship and they're still learning. Realistic. I plead for you all to enjoy literature where you learn on how to handle problems and applaud moral growth instead of just princes sweeping in to save the day. Though I do love princes myself so I understand the appeal of all things fairy tale (Go read the Lunar Chronicles. Please. Best fairy tale adaptions ever).
Ok! So, as you probably noticed, I also posted a Bible verse to go with this chapter. And instead of Pokemon questions, I'm going to ask you more personal questions just for you to think about. And with these questions, I want you to at least think about them. Maybe discuss them with close friends. Or PM me about it. Or if you don't care who on earth reads your comment, comment about it. Your choice. But yeah, real problems and situations and characters attempting to improve themselves (which is pretty much every human being's goal, right?) should inspire us to grow as well. Which leads me to these questions (which have multiple answers by the way, not really right or wrong ones, so don't think I'm testing you):
1. What does it mean to carry other's burdens?
2. Why is it important to carry the burdens of others? (Also, why would you want this done for yourself?)
3. What are ways that you personally carry other's burdens? (Friends, family, classmates, strangers, etc.)
4. What are some goals you can make for yourself to improve on carrying other's burdens this week? (If you do this one and want accountability, you should PM me and we can talk about goals together and how we both did)
I really hope you take some time to think about these questions. They're really important. I can't force you to think about them of course, but if you take growing seriously, even taking a few minutes (or, better yet, talking them over with some friends) to think about them could not only change you, but the people you see every day because you're being more loving. And that would make the world a better place. You, personally, can change things- because love is that powerful. I hope you make that choice.
Also, I left these questions more just "become a better person" in general, but if you're Christian, I want you to also hold yourself to a higher standard since Christians are supposed to be Christ-like and Jesus was perfect, always loving, put others first, and never sinned. And I know you're not perfect (no one is, including me) but these questions should be something you think about every day- how can I be more like Jesus? How can I put others first?
So yeah! I'm just super glad, no matter what you believe, these questions are something you can relate to as a human being. Because that's what we all are and we all need love.
I know this message was long, but important. And you shouldn't expect much else from me right now because I was just at a Christian leadership meeting allllll day talking about how to write good questions that set goals and make us all think deeply about life. I hope I accomplished that :P
God bless!
-Flips
PS- RukiaKuchiki18 made that cover because she's awesome. So this chapter is for her :) Thanks so much for being such an amazing friend and so supportive of this story! And also for dealing with my insane friends. Don't know how you put up with them :P