©JRF2016
I ran up to Shane as soon as I saw the car drive through the gates. "What happened to you out there? I thought you were going to be careful." I glanced over at Rick who just turned away and stared at the ground as he leaned against the car. "I'm fine Isabella," Shane said as he gently pushed me to the side and walked away from me. I turned and watched him as he walked inside the house. Andrea was watching me and avoiding Rick. Jessie came running down the street to greet him, throwing herself into his arms and kissing him on the cheek. The look on Andrea's face would have been comical if I wasn't so worried about Shane's new attitude toward me.
I went inside to find Shane. He was in the room that we had just decided to start sharing, standing over the bed, and staring at a pile of clothes. "Whatcha doin'?" I said playfully trying not to show that my heart was breaking. Trying not to show that there was anything wrong between us. "I think it's best if we stay in our separate rooms after all. I think we may have jumped the gun on this thing."
"Jumped the gun? This thing has been going on for a while between us, Shane. We just started having sex. What exactly are you saying that we 'jumped the gun' on?" He didn't answer, just threw those clothes in his bag and walked out of the room.
Over the next few weeks Shane avoided me like the plague. Andrea was starting to hang around my uncle more and more as Rick was hanging around Jessie. He didn't seem to care that she had a husband. He didn't seem like the greatest husband in the world for some reason but he was still her husband. Shane hated me now as much as Andrea still hates me. "Hey niece," Uncle Daryl spoke up as he put his arm over my shoulders, "What's goin' on?"
"Nothin' much. So, what's up with you and Andrea lately? I've noticed you're hanging out with her a lot." After a substantial pause I looked up at my uncle who had a deep blush on his face. I leaned over and nudged him smiling. "Just blowing off steam," he mumbled so softly I could barely make out his words. I chuckled a little. "What?" He asked almost as if he was offended. "At least we know she's good for something," I responded and then paused as I noticed Carol walking toward us with a smile, "What about her?"
"She's like a mother to me. She cares about me but not like that." He finished as Carol finally approached us. "You look like you need something to do," she said as she looked at Daryl, "Perfect, I have a job for you. Come on." She grabbed Daryl's hand and pulled him away. He turned his head back to yell at me, "I wanna meet up with ya later. Got somethin' I think you could help me with." I nodded my answer and I was left alone with my thoughts again.
I stood there on the porch every day just watching people. Our people, their people. The interactions and friendships being made. We had found a couple of old rocking chairs that we put out on that porch. It was calming just to sit there and rock back and forth for some reason. Day after day I just sat there and watched people like some old lady sitting in her rocking chair, on her porch and just waiting on some kids to step on the lawn so she could yell at them. I had nothing better to do anyway. No one to talk to anymore since Shane refused to even acknowledge me. Uncle Daryl had started scouting with Aaron. They seemed to be really close friends and getting closer. Now that he has his job he has been spending less time with Andrea, which made me happier.
My uncle was straddling his new motorcycle and talking to Rick as I was leaning into the rail just watching, as usual. I thought back over the last few weeks. Uncle Daryl had talked me into helping put that bike together in an effort to keep my mind off the fact that Shane was completely done with me. I didn't know much about mechanics so I wasn't really much help. Most times I just felt like I was in his way. A few times I even think he was aggravated with me but he never said anything, he really didn't let on at all if he was aggravated, I was just feeling my insecurities creeping in. I remembered being little and Papáworking on his bike in the drive. He always had me by his side when he went out to work on it and he tried to teach me what I needed to know but I was just a little girl. All I cared about was being with my Papá. I had unknowingly swiped at a tear in my eye just as Uncle Daryl had looked up to ask me for something. He had stood to his feet and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. I didn't want to tell him at first, and he didn't push, but a second later, against my own mind, I was spilling my guts about Papa. We spent all our time working on that bike and reminiscing about our lives with Papábefore all this.
I jumped when I felt two hands slide onto my hips. When I turned around I locked eyes with Shane's chocolaty brown eyes. I quickly turned back around without a word. I didn't know what to say to him and I didn't want him to see what kind of effect he still had on me. He didn't want me anymore and I didn't want him to see that I still longed for him. My heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest, my palms were sweaty, and my knees were weak. I could still feel him standing behind me even though his hands had fallen from my hips. He finally released a huge sigh and stepped to my side, staring out into the street. I kept my head forward but my eyes kept darting over to him. He was leaning against the rail, his big biceps flexing as his hands gripped that rail and then released and then gripped it again. Every cell in my body was in hyper-drive at that sight. I just wanted to feel those arms around me. I could feel my cheeks heating up at the thought of him holding me, those muscles flexing against my body as he squeezed me. I hated when he called me Izzy but I had missed it so much. All I wanted was to hear him call me that one more time. I just wanted to be in his arms and hear his voice whispering softly against my skin. I had an argument inside my own head for what seemed like ages, should I speak first or should I wait on him. Finally I mumbled, "Mi manchi," I still wasn't sure if it was meant more for myself or for him. My voice was barely loud enough for my own ears to hear it. I wasn't sure if I had even said it out loud until he stood himself up straight and turned to look at me. "I don't think you've ever said that to me before, what's it mean?" I could feel my body tremble at the sound of his voice but I still wasn't completely sure if it was his friendly voice or not. He cocked his head to the side to look into my eyes better. "Hmmm," he said smiling that crooked grin of his. I felt like melting but instead I smiled a devilish smile back at him and turned my nose up in the air as I walked over to the rocking chair and plopped myself into it. I folded my arms and looked up at him. "So, you're talking to me now?" He still had that smirk on his face as he strolled over in front of me and squatted down, "Only if you tell me what you just said."
"I just asked you if you were talking to me now," I said sarcastically as I flashed another cocky little grin at him. He rolled his eyes as his hands found mine. "I wasn't talking about what you just said in English, I can speak that ya know." I put my hands up to his face and my smile faded and became so serious. I ran my thumb across his full lips. My cells were vibrating and I could feel the flush on my cheeks rising as I imagined those lips on mine. "I said," I started as I moved in closer and rested my forehead on his, "I miss you." Shane gave a slight smile before finally responding. "Anche tu mi Manchi."
"You catch on fast cowboy."
"I had a good teacher," he was smiling even wider, "A beautiful teacher that made it real easy to pay attention in class." This made me smile again and he pressed his lips to mine. I've missed this so much.
"Oh...my...God!" Shane leaned back breaking the seal he had on my lips and we both looked up to see Andrea coming up the steps. "You're forgiving her? She basically cheated on you with your best friend? What about me. What about what we have?" Shane looked confused at first and then shocked. I knew that she had been spending a lot more time with Uncle Daryl but had she been running around with Shane too? Could he do that to me? Could she do that to Daryl? I knew that me and Shane had technically broken up but I could still feel my blood boiling with jealousy. I started to speak but Shane had looked over at me, his eyes locked with mine and I could tell that she was just trying to rile me up. His eyes told me what he was about to say. "We don't have anything, never did, never will. Of course I'm going to forgive her, I love her. It was a kiss, and it was instigated by Rick. She didn't sleep with him." Andrea rolled her eyes but before she could say anything in response I interjected, "Me bite cagna," {Bite me bitch} "Why don't you mind your own business for once?" Andrea walked over and reached out for Shane. He jerked away, out of her reach and glared up at her. "Andarsene." {Buzz off} He turned his gaze back to me, "Ti amo, ma e necessario parlare con me." {I love you, but you need to talk to me.} I nodded at him and laughed before looking over at Andrea, waiting on her to get the hint and go away. She let out an over exaggerated sigh before stomping off. I took Shane's hand, tangling my fingers with his as he stood up and took the seat next to me. "Tell me what happened after the prison fell," he said as he brought a hand up to my face and turned it up to meet his, "Tell me what caused those nightmares you have. Tell me about the nightmares. I want to be here for you Izzy, I want you to be able to talk to me about this stuff." I didn't really want to get into all that, not out here, maybe not at all. There was something in his voice, the comforting feel of his hand on my skin, the soothing sound of his voice as he softly asked me to talk to him that just caused me to start spilling my guts. I told him everything as the memories flooded back and the tears began to flow. Shane wrapped his muscular arm around me and pulled me as close as he could. "I'm so sorry Izzy," he said as I sat myself back up. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to take that burden off your shoulders." I stood up moving into position in front of his chair. He took my hands and pulled me onto his lap into a very tight yet comforting hug. "I don't really have a good response, not words anyway, to all of that, except to tell you that I love you Izzy." He whispered those words against my ear as he squeezed me a little tighter, "I want to always be the one that comforts you when you feel like this. Me, not Rick, okay?" He had asked this of me a second time and I realized just how much I had hurt him by confiding in Rick and not him. It wasn't so much that Rick kissed me as it was that I trusted Rick to comfort me and not him. I pulled back a little and stared into his eyes. I nodded in agreement before placing a soft kiss on his lips.