I heard a loud banging on my door while I lay on the floor amidst a chaotic scene. The room was strewn with canvas, broken pieces of vase, paint cans—some full, some empty—and numerous torn papers scattered about. Despite the cacophony of knocks growing louder and more persistent, I let out a heavy sigh, resting my forearm on my forehead.
Eventually, amidst the relentless knocking, a voice called out from beyond the door.
"I know you're in there, Hal," the voice paused between knocks. "Open up...come on." It was Selena, standing on the other side, her persistence evident in the rhythmic pounding of her fist against the door. Reluctantly, I swung the door open, meeting her gaze as she muttered a quiet expletive upon seeing my disheveled state.
"What do you want, Selena?" I asked, rubbing my brows wearily under my breath.
"You look like a mess, Hal," she remarked, nudging past me into the house. She was right, I was a mess, and it had been over five months since the explosive argument with Chris, perhaps even longer since our breakup. Selena made her way towards the living room, and I followed suit, closing the door behind me. Before settling onto the couch, she cast a disappointed glance around the room, sighing audibly.
"This isn't how you're supposed to be," she stated, turning her gaze back to me.
"So, what are you expecting from me?" I inquired as I quickly settled onto the small sofa, resting my head against its back.
"Is this your decision? Is this what you want? This bloody mess? Is that why you've been avoiding your usual haunts?" Selena's disappointment seeped through her words, irritating me slightly, though deep down, I knew she was speaking the truth.
"You were nearly at the top, Hal, and now you've plummeted to the ground," she continued, taking a seat on the couch opposite me. Even without opening my eyes, I could sense her disappointment in me and my circumstances. Selena was a friend from college, not particularly close, but willing to lend a hand with my paintings. As my fame grew in California, she almost became like a personal assistant. She let out a heavy sigh before posing a question.
"What's your plan now?" she asked. Without looking at her, I simply shook my head, keeping my eyes closed.
"I still don't know, Selena," I replied.
"Damn it, Hal!" she cursed, abruptly standing from the couch, causing me to crack my eyes open slightly. "Stop with the 'I don't know' routine. I already know that!" she yelled in frustration.
"What do you know?" I swiftly shot back as she finished her tirade. "If you already know, then why are you asking me?" I said in a cold tone, meeting her gaze directly.
"YES!" she shouted again, her frustration boiling over. "I KNEW EVERYTHING FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. I KNEW THAT STUPID CHRISTOPHER WAS GOING TO CHEAT ON YOU, AND I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T GO TO THAT LOUNGE, AND I ALSO KNEW THAT YOU WOULD JUST LET EVERYTHING GO BECAUSE OF THAT MAN!" she yelled, jabbing a finger accusingly at me.
"Oh, come on," I groaned, standing up from my sofa and attempting to walk away from her, back toward my workshop room.
"Stop walking away from me, Jennifer!" she called out from behind me, causing me to pause in my steps. "Why are you doing this to yourself, huh? Why..." Before she could finish her sentence, I interrupted.
"Because he was my everything," I answered, turning toward her. "Because he meant everything to me, and... all of this started because of him," I added, trying to contain the tears welling in my chest. "You're right, Selena... you were right," I paused, wiping away tears from my cheek. "I didn't know what you already knew, and I didn't heed your warnings. I know I was wrong, and I still know I'm wrong," I said, my voice cracking. "But... he was my everything, Selena... and you know it, I know it, and everyone knows it," I added. Before I could finish my sentence, she clenched her fists in frustration.
"But he didn't know," she added, her gaze steady on me. "He didn't realize he meant everything to you. That's why he cheated on you, even on your birthday, and why he didn't bother showing up to your party," she paused, studying my reaction. "Am I right?" she asked. I averted my gaze from her, wiping away tears while biting my lower lip. Slowly, she approached me, taking hold of my arms to make me face her.
"You can't let yourself fall apart, Jennifer. You're not just Jennifer; you're 'Hal,' the promising young artist destined for worldwide acclaim. People are eager to meet you, they want to know who you are, to understand you, and to see your art," she paused, gently lifting my chin to meet her eyes. "Once they get to know you, you won't be the same, Jennifer," she added softly. "Trust me... you won't be the same."
"But I've already squandered my chance," I replied, meeting her gaze with a cold stare. She nodded slightly, sighing before responding.
"Yes, you're right. But thankfully, they're willing to give you another chance," she said, walking back to the couch and retrieving her bag. From it, she pulled out a small envelope, then returned to me and handed it over.
"They've agreed to invite you back to their show, and we can still arrange for your first lounge," she added, gesturing towards the envelope in my hand. Glancing at it, I saw it was an invitation to the Morning Show—the same show I had initially declined to attend for my worldwide debut. "It seems like you were born to be 'Hal,' not Jennifer," she remarked, giving my shoulder a comforting pat. "Stop wasting your time on trivial matters, Jennifer. Look at yourself," she paused, pointing to my face. "You look pale, with huge dark circles under your eyes. You look like a ghost," she added, eliciting a soft chuckle from me, to which she joined in. Then, she looked at me with gentle eyes before continuing the conversation.
"Sorry," she said.
"For what?" I asked, still rubbing the envelope in my hand, my gaze fixed on it.
"For yelling at you," she said, a small smile gracing her lips as our eyes met.
"It's okay... and everything you said was right," I paused, nodding. "So, you don't have to apologize," I added, prompting a nod of acknowledgment from her. Then, we both continued to discuss my upcoming reveal and interview for a few more hours before she prepared to head back home.
"So, I think I have to go for now," she said, grabbing her bag and standing up from the couch. I followed her to the doorway to bid her farewell. Before stepping out, she turned toward me once more to continue the conversation.
"Don't forget what I said, Jennifer. You're not just a college girl... you were born to be 'Hal,'" she added, to which I nodded in acknowledgment with a small smile. "And also, don't stay like this. Freshen up and be happy. We have another chance coming up on Monday," she added with a grin.
"I will, don't worry," I replied, giving her a small wave. "Thank you, Selena," we exchanged final farewells with a wave before I swiftly closed the door. Leaning against it, I let out a heavy sigh, taking a moment to gather myself from the weight of memories and emotions.
"Focus, Jennifer... Focus," I murmured to myself, shaking my head slightly. I made my way to my workshop room and began cleaning the entire house, a task that took several more hours. I had neglected the cleaning for months, and the accumulation of clutter and dust was overwhelming. In a huge exhausted, I sighed deeply once I finished and feeling drained of half my energy.
Then, I disposed of bags of rubbish outside before heading to the bathroom for a refreshing shower. Entering the bathroom, I immersed myself in the bathtub filled with cold water and ice cubes, a relief after the physical exertion of cleaning. The icy water splashed against my skin, sending a shiver down my spine as I relaxed and let the chill revive both my body and mind.
As I held my breath, a flood of memories with Christopher washed over me, both comforting and tormenting, spanning the past few months. I quickly emerged from the water, splashing it away from my face as I struggled to catch my breath. Leaning against the bathroom wall, I let out a sigh, my hand covering my face.
"I should hate you right now, Christopher... but I can't," I murmured to myself, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my head against them. Despite his betrayal, I found myself unable to summon the anger and resentment I knew I should feel. It was as if I were a child afraid to swim for the first time. I couldn't understand why I couldn't hate him, forget him, or move on as he had done to me. Perhaps it was the weight of our shared youth or simply because I had loved him in a way he had never loved me. The reasons eluded me, and I continued to grapple with unanswered questions, lost in thought until another loud knock on the door jolted me back to reality.
"Who's there?" I called out, receiving no response. Before I could call out again, another knock echoed through the silence. Swiftly, I exited the tub and hurried to my room, changing into a quick suit before returning to the door.
"Who's there?" I repeated, my hand hovering over the doorknob. The knocks persisted, stirring a mix of annoyance and apprehension within me. Without waiting for another knock, I swung the door open, ready to confront whoever stood on the other side.
"I'm asking you who..." My words trailed off in my throat as I beheld the figure standing before me. Despite the passage of time and the changes that had occurred, I recognized him instantly.
"Jen," he softly uttered my name, a familiar sound that echoed through the silence.
"James," I replied, my hand still on the door, my gaze locked onto him, motionless. For a moment, we simply stared at each other, my eyes filled with a tumult of emotions—anger, sadness, and even a hint of fleeting happiness.
The cry of a small baby shattered the tense atmosphere, interrupting our silent exchange. James held a tiny infant in his arms, and as I continued to stare at him, he returned the gaze, his expression mirroring my own mixed emotions.
Clearing a space between us, I finally broke the silence with a cold, steady tone.
"Why are you here, James?" I demanded, my voice betraying none of the turmoil raging within me.
"It was the time before the digues..."
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Sorry for late update cause I was in bad fever 😭😭
And I am really sorry if this episode has a little bit grammar wrongs or vocabulary or anything ...
Please ...I hope you guys don't mind 🫶