Never had she suffered such misery on a day meant for celebration. Her world was shrouded in monochromatic shades, her mind losing focus every two seconds. Her heart felt hollow, her soul barren and no matter how much she tried to smile, to get things done, a feeling of hopelessness rose within her.
Ever since the passing of her parents, each day- each second- that passed she fell deeper into the gloomy depths of despair. The past few days she had found herself buried in a pile of books, doing her best to block out the sorrow that corrupted her being. Sakura hated how every tick of a clock applied more weight to the shackles that trapped her with the gloom that reminded her that her birthday was approaching. She despised how the day grew closer, how each moment passed with the looming thought that she was an orphan. That every birthday she was fated to live through would no longer be shared with her parents.
She had managed for what felt like an eternity but all of a sudden her form had been overwhelmed by a deep feeling of loss. Her approaching birthday felt more like a day of despair than one that was to be celebrated and filled with joy. Inner had been trying to lift her mood, determined to end Sakura's moping but even with her loud personality and viciously motivational words, the entity who performed cheer routines was unable to improve her other half's mood.
The warm rays of the late morning sun flooded into her room and Sakura, who was tucked in bed, a book held up to her face, found it unsuiting of her mood. She hadn't managed much training in the past days, barely finding the energy within herself to venture downstairs on the quest for food when her stomach's complaints grew loud enough to break her out of whatever mind-numbing trance she found herself in.
'Come on Outer! You can't spend all day in bed.' The ever-cheery voice of Inner echoed in the rosette's mind.
The girl closed her eyes, leaning her head back as she took in a deep breath. Her other half continued to try and spur her on, doing what she could to entice Sakura out of bed. The emerald-eyed girl groaned, the mere thought of moving from the comfort of her place, wrapped in blankets was exhausting. She knew that it wasn't good for her to stay in bed for an extended period of time but how could she turn down the warm snugness of her familiar sheets?
'No time for lazing about, some fresh air will do you good!' Sakura released another groan, the frown on her face deepening.
Inner's nagging was annoying her and, although somewhere in her mind she was grateful, she found herself wishing for her other half to be quiet. Of course, quiet was the opposite of what Inner was and the peculiar entity was only trying to encourage her out of her isolated brooding, it would be quite unfair of her to lash out. Even with this knowledge, the pinkette still found herself covering her head with her blanket, squeezing her eyes shut. It might have worked to block out anyone else but when you shared a mind with the one you were trying to ignore, such actions proved quite pointless.
'Now, now, Outer-chan,' Inner grinned as Sakura's face scrunched up further at the added honorific. 'don't be a sourpuss.'
The pinkette knew her counterpart well enough to understand that ultimately Inner was the most stubborn between them and that arguing with her about anything that wasn't necessary was a waste of energy. That thought made her sigh; she did not feel as though she was capable of getting out of bed for anything but the most basic necessities, so even if she didn't stand against her other half she wasn't sure she could appease her.
'Stop making excuses for yourself!' The familiar yells of Inner pained her head. 'You'll never know until you try, now up!'
Another groan filled the otherwise silent room and Sakura slowly pushed herself to sit up, her duvet pooling in her lap. She rolled her head around, gently stretching her neck to relieve it of the effects of the awkward position she had been in whilst reading. It really wasn't her fault that the most natural positions her body found whilst she was engrossed in a good book left her with unideal consequences. Even so, she knew she would be best off ending those habits whilst she was young, she would not want to risk any permanent damage.
She yawned, rubbing her eyes. The young girl wasn't sure if it was her gloomy mood but she felt more groggy than usual. If she felt any better she might have had a shower to refresh herself but as simply getting out of bed was arduous for her at the moment, she wasn't overly confident in her ability to wash herself. Her limbs felt heavy, but even more weight occupied her chest. Her heart was heavy with sorrow as she grieved the loss of her parents' presence.
Sakura managed to stand, stretching only as much as she dared. Her cherry blossom locks were dishevelled and she had a sneaking suspicion that once she ran a brush through them, she would be left with a poofy cloud. She also wasn't looking particularly forward to the multiple knots she would no doubt discover.
She walked over to a mirror that was hung on one of the walls of her bedroom, looking at her reflection. Besides her bedraggled hair, the rest of her form was similarly untidy. Her pyjamas were creased and her overall visage was not tired but.. drained. Her eyes were dull, bags heavy beneath them and her cheeks lacked their usual flush.
'Kami, you look terrible Outer..'
Sakura frowned. 'I understand that I might not be taking care of myself, Inner, but my head is throbbing with memories that I'd rather keep away... Is it really so wrong of me to busy myself with educational texts?'
'It is when you're doing it to such a degree that it's unhealthy.'
Sakura released a sigh, slumping where she stood. Her weariness did not fit her age, nor the idea of a young girl on her birthday. The pinkette looked haggard in a way no elder could, her youthfulness lost to the weary expression etched onto her face.
'Chop-chop Outer! Time to get ready for the day-ah! Afternoon...'
Inner's bright grin made her the epitome of sunshine and in comparison to Sakura's exhausted appearance, the two made quite the duo. It was comedic in a way how two of the same appearance could hold such stark differences.
'I believe we have yet to wear that blue dress we got on the shopping spree with Yui.'
The pinkette blinked. 'Oh yeah... she suggested we wear it on our birthday..'
'And that is today.'
The pinkette's brows furrowed. 'Yes..'
She manoeuvred to get out the silk dress, laying it on her bed, her hands smoothing down the crinkles in its material. Sakura relished the feeling of it under her hands, she didn't think she would ever wear such a thing very often but she did like the feel of it. The emerald-eyed girl got undressed, her pyjamas littering the ground. She put on some clean underwear before carefully slipping on the dress.
'I can't believe you are wearing this and not showering first.'
'Do be quiet Inner' Sakura sighed. 'I'm not unclean.'
Although it was true she hadn't felt able enough to wash herself in the past few days it wasn't as though it was a big deal. The pinkette was only a child after all, and she was yet to share the concerns of those at least a decade her senior as body odor and such were not on her list of struggles. She did make sure to shower after a training session, however, as not doing so was, well... did she really need to explain herself?
As she was now dressed, the young girl turned her attention to taming the wild mess of pink that sat atop her head. She ran her brush through her locks, beginning at their ends and slowly rising to run the bristles through the full length of her hair. Eventually, her hair was tamed and Sakura put down the brush.
Finally presentable, the young girl plopped down on her bed, careful to not crease her dress. She sighed, getting changed had been less tiring than she had originally assumed, but even so, Sakura felt unmotivated to do anything more than lazily move her eyes across whatever books she had at her disposal.
'Outer, that's no way to spend your birthday!' Inner's familiar yells filled her head. 'I know that you like reading and all but come on! I thought you at least had some idea of fun.'
Sakura frowned. 'Reading is fun.'
Inner waved her off. 'Yes, yes. Now, how about we go outside?'
The rosette blinked. Sure, she had been inside a lot lately and maybe Inner had gotten bored of her moping but it wasn't normal for her other half to be so adamant about venturing outdoors. Then again, she didn't usually stay inside for multiple days on end but surely Inner understood the cause of her behaviour?
'Maybe we can find a new place to eat at! I'm sure there are many places that'll give us some kind of discount since it's our birthday!' Inner drooled, rubbing her hands together eagerly as images of food popped into their mind.
Now that made more sense. Sakura sighed, they probably would be able to uncover some discounts but she knew that excuse was an attempt at convincing her to do what Inner wanted. Inner's desire was simple: food. It seemed to be one of her other half's main motivators and in a way, she could now make sense of her headmate's desire to embark on the quest to venture outside on the hunt for food. Admittedly, when she had eaten in the last couple of days, what she had consumed was barely more than an apple. She had quickly made her way through a few leftovers she had stored away and, not finding any enthusiasm within herself to cook, had resorted to sandwiches and fruit to sustain herself.
Inner adored cooked meals made with fresh produce and although she could gush about finger food, Sakura's other half did prefer more filling meals- that in the pinkette's opinion were actually feasts. The birthday girl did feel slightly guilty for her brooding as she was now reminded about how it wasn't just her who was locked in the confines of a lonely house, isolated from the outside world and wasting days buried in books. Inner was forced to do so too and not by her own desires.
So, taking a deep breath in, Sakura squashed the gloom suffocating her and nodded her head. 'Ok.. do you have anywhere in particular in mind?'
'Didn't you hear me before Outer? I said, let's find a new place to eat at! I'm sure if we wander around enough we'll eventually find somewhere.'
The pinkette's eyebrow twitched. With how she was feeling, Sakura did not wish to 'wander around', the guilt still bubbling in her stomach convinced her to overcome this though and she sighed.
'Ok then.. wandering about aimlessly it is.'
'Ahem! Not aimlessly Outer, we will be on the lookout for potential gems in the food industry.'
Sakura rolled her eyes, bewildered by Inner's stubbornness. The young girl knew that her other half was quite aware of all the spots in Konohagakure, even those tucked away in dark alleys and hidden in the more secretive parts. How could her headmate not when she seemed to have such boundless knowledge when it came to those Sakura hadn't before even heard of?
Nevertheless, the pinkette entertained her Inner's determinedness to act oblivious and made her way downstairs, each second away from her beloved books causing the anguish in her chest to tighten around her heart. She put on a pair of ninja sandals before leaving her house.
A/N: We're back with Sakura and Inner! I understand that not too much happened in this chapter but I wanted to show a bit of Sakura's struggles with being an orphan as she now faces her birthday without her parents. Also don't you love how her birthday in this and March 28th have come about at the same time?
You may notice that there has been a lack of Inner's usual 'cha' in this chapter and that is because I'm saving them for more appropriate moments. I honestly don't know why I decided to use that catchphrase so often in the earlier chapters but I have deleted some of them. I will probably still need to edit a few of them out, however..
In the next chapter, you guys can look forward to the arrival of some new characters as well as a familiar face. I will try and publish it soon but am also going to be working hard to get out the next chapters of my other books, so please forgive me if it takes longer than this one.
I apologise for any mistakes!
Hope you enjoyed!