Regina knew she was a coward when she'd told Kos that she needed to go to the meeting with Boss, instead of driving with everyone to the airport. But she just couldn't do it. Stand there and pretend that everything is fine, and her heart wasn't dying thousands of times when Marcus acts like she doesn't exist. So she called the Boss, and arranged the meeting herself to have an excuse to leave. Besides, she wanted to ask her to move Regina to Washington, which in the end she'd got.
After that she flew to LA on a regular flight, to pack her things and go back to DC. Near her house, she saw still standing Kia Soul. The bent door was glaring at her in mockery, a reminder of the adventures and adventurers it had transported.
Now this car is as lonely as me.
She had found the keys inside, and laughed bitterly. She was standing with opened doors and keys inside, and no one even touched her. Ridiculous. Either no one cared to steal such a car, or everyone had heard rumors about her watching this block, where no one dared to step a foot.
She changed the door in the nearest body shop, filled the backseat and trunk with her remaining clothes and other belongings, and drove to Washington repeating her road trip with Marsikons.
In such a short period they had come a long way, literally and figuratively. Alone it was harder to move at the same pace, and in some places, she stopped for a longer time. In the end, she made it in five days to Washington. She wasn't due to her work for another few days, and she let herself make longer stops and time to walk around cities and think about everything that was going on in her life.
Bittersweet emotions filled her while she remembered how their trip went. It's ups and downs. She laughed through tears when she thought about how she almost killed Marcus in the desert, or how he kissed her for the first time, or how he drank coffee and she saw another layer of his personality. She was mournful for so little time spent together, but she tried to be optimistic and looked forward to the new life with her family by her side, and being back to work.
She told herself, she did the right thing, letting Marcus go. She saved him from himself, from doing the worst possible mistake in his life. It would be so wrong and selfish to let him choose her instead of the whole planet, and she couldn't do that to him. She loved him too much to let him go. She hoped he would fulfill his destiny when Mars would be restored and Marsikons could find peace with Martians and live amicably on the renewed planet.
Her optimism stayed with her through her workdays and lazy weekends, but despite being always occupied with something, and wrapped up in the love of her family, after a couple of weeks it started to wane. It was hard to get up in the early morning, and she had difficulties falling asleep. She tried to plaster a smile on her face for everyone's sake, but inside her soul she was restless.
She kept thinking if she'd made the right decision of letting Marcus go. She felt forlorn and forgotten. If not for her Soul, who was her new best friend. She was the tie to her lost love, and she often imagined Marcus sitting in the passenger seat, telling him how her day went or what nightmares had plagued her dreams.
Escalade was sitting on a curb near the parent's home, waiting when his heart would be changed to eat N-fuel instead of gas. And Soul helped her to fight the loneliness.
***
Regina was sitting in the living room of her parent's house after her shift in ROTOR, meticulously studying her manicure. Her nails were painted in brick red, and the two of them had tiny painted craters. Like the landscape of Mars. It was her sister's perfect artwork. She insisted on doing her nails, and she gave her the freedom to draw there anything she wanted. But when she saw what exactly Clare had drawn, she felt a lump in her throat. Clare offered to redo her nails, afraid that it was too much, but Regina loved it.
Her sister had always been a great painter, and her drawings won various contests. But while working with their dad, she didn't have time to draw anymore. All she'd done nowadays was to draw on her and mom's nails. And now Regina's.
Looking at her nails somewhat relaxed and grounded her. She continued to look at them and occasionally swiped with a pad of her finger on a painted nail to feel its structure. It was so vividly done, that she was waiting to feel hills and valleys, but of course, it was smooth. She did it again and again and was frustrated to find smoothness every time she did it.
She was going nuts.
After the Marsikons had left, significant changes were coming regarding plastic waste. The government made a special department, which worked on the promotion of NucliBeam. People started to sort waste; streets became cleaner. People realized, that by doing so, in the future they'd get much cheaper fuel for everything they used. Entrepreneurs were ready to pay large sums for the NucliBeam, but for now, the government monopolized this feature. Other companies invested in ships, which would clean the ocean from plastic. The potential fuel was right there, under our feet, scattering around, but at last, someone had found a way to not only recycle it but gain something useful from it.
Scientists and engineers were modifying old systems to use the N-fuel instead of fossil fuel in full force. Soon everyone would be able to heat their houses and fill cars with it. Of course, fossil fuel companies weren't happy with that, but the health of the planet and population was more important than the wallets of the big moguls.
Even those greedy for profit found themselves in a Catch-22—the resource they'd used to enrich themselves at the cost of everyone else was now their undoing. They'd pumped too much plastic into the world to keep it from being easily accessible.
It wasn't the end of the problem, not with so many people who would fight to maintain the old paradigm. But it was a new beginning.
A lot of unemployed people finally got a job, with decent salaries. Regina also helped to get a job for Donovan's mother, and now they were living in Washington. She felt proud of the changes going on in her country, but her mind was somewhere else.
No one from her family knew about her turmoil. She acted like everything was fine, except at night, when she went to her bedroom and lay on the bed, burying her nose in the pillow where she could still detect a faint hint of Marcus's scent. And every day it felt harder and harder to pretend, that everything was fine.
It didn't help that on TV all the time were news about new allies. A couple of times spaceship came and went back with supplies for Marsikons to produce fuel. New information about development in technologies and medicine was continuously received. Dad became the Head of the department that worked with Marsikons and had told her, that he always maintained contact with officials from Mars and they talked every day on how to make life here better.
But not one word from Marcus. Or Kosmas. Or Darius. Like they never knew her, and she just disappeared for them after everything they've gone through.
Bastards.
"Hey, honey. Dad and Clare soon will be back and we're going to head out to the barbeque. You sure you don't want to go with us?" Mom just got back from work. They were invited to one of dad's friend's house on the lake, for dinner and a sleepover. Her smile was warm and inviting, but when she saw Regina's slumped form on the loveseat, her tone became worried, "Baby, please tell me what's wrong." She sat near Regina and hugged her shoulders.
Regina buried her face in her shoulder and shrugged, barely holding tears.
"Oh, baby, is it because of your job?" Mom stroked her hair away from her face.
"No, the job is fine," her voice was garbled with tears.
"Is it really?"
"I don't know..." her voice was small, and a sob shook her shoulders. "I thought that it was everything I wanted. But now, when I have it, it doesn't seem that way anymore. It seems that everything is fine, I should be happy, but I feel empty and tired. Sometimes, I just want to crawl under a big rock and just lay there, until I turn to dust."
She let tears flow, and her body shook with her crying. Despite her having everything she thought she wanted, she lost her spark and love for her job and life. She was miserable.
Mom held her and soothed her, saying, "Sometimes what we think we need, is not what we really need in our life. We work on fancy jobs, buy expensive cars and big houses, but we feel empty and lonely having them because we don't have a person with whom to share our ups and downs, our burdens and fears, and our love and friendship. We are your family, and we'll support you in every decision, but even a family can be not enough. You outgrew us, and you're ready to make a family of your own. As I saw, something was going on between you and Marcus. Maybe you would like to talk to me about him?"
Regina calmed down a bit while Mom was talking and now sat with her head on Mom's shoulder, wiping away tears. "There's nothing to tell. He went to Mars to become a King."
"Did you talk with him about your feelings?" Mom watched her from above.
"Kind of. He told me about his duties as a King, but then he begged me to ask him to stay. How could I ask him that after I realized what is at stake if he stayed on Earth? I couldn't let him choose between the crown and his people and me. In the end, I refused, and he went home. The end of the story." She squeezed her eyes, and a new portion of tears flowed down her cheeks.
"But what would you do if he asked you to go with him?"
"I don't know. He didn't ask, and I wasn't thinking about that possibility. I couldn't leave you after we just restored our relationship, and got my job back... I think I would've refused to go with him then," she whispered.
"And now?" Mom asked with a small smile.
"I don't want to leave you again. You're my family, and I don't want to betray your trust again." She looked at mom, adding, "Besides, no one asked me to go, it seems that Marcus forgot about me completely. Even his friends didn't contact me even once." The bitter feel of betrayal filled her mouth with fresh tears and her chin was wobbling. She hated to cry, but she couldn't help herself, tears just flowed like there wasn't a bottom of it.
"We'll always be your family, no matter where you live. And it's not a betrayal to leave a childhood home and start a family of your own. As for the latter, I think you need to take a step forward and call him. You're my warrior, and you'll get through every obstacle in your life. Tell him how you feel, because sometimes we're holding everything inside, for fear to offend the other person, and in the end, both people hurt. Like it was with your dad, if only you just told him about your insecurities right after you felt them, both of you would've saved a lot of heartaches. Don't be afraid to be rejected, because if you won't make this call, you'll never know."
Mom's words lifted her spirits and tears dried away. The new determination filled Regina. Maybe they still had a chance with Marcus? And if he rejects her, at least she tried. And she'll know for sure that this door would be closed forever.
But there was a bigger question underneath it all.
"What if I hurt him?"
"Hurt Marcus? How?"
"Like I hurt Dad."
Her mom's shoulders dropped, and true understanding fell over her expression. "Oh honey. Yes, you hurt him, but think of it the other way. Think of all the good you have brought to his life. Do you think for a second that he wouldn't always take the bad with the good?" She took her daughter's hands and squeezed them firmly. "You are a strong woman. You don't have to be perfect. Just you. And when you find a Martian—"
"He's actually called a Marsikon."
"—when you find a Marsikon like him, you let him love you. Or at least give him the chance."
"Thank you, mom," she croaked, "I'll do it. I have to find his number first."
"Ask dad to give you some of his contacts, I'm sure some of them will give you his number." Mom's smile was broad again, and she hugged Regina one more time. "I'm proud of you my little girl," she kissed Regina on the forehead and released her shoulders.
"Thank you, mom. Go, prepare for dinner, I'll be fine here." Regina's smile was genuine for the first time in days.
"You're sure?" Mom looked at her with a mock stern.
"Yeah, yeah, go have fun. I'll be fine either way." Regina stood up and stretched her arm above her head, then dropped them, exhaling. For the first time in how many days, she felt invigorated to do something. It was like she was Sherlock again, and she had a new case of finding a man.
The man she loved, but she didn't know if he still loved her.
She didn't know what she would do if he would reject her.
But she totally wasn't prepared for what happened next.