If there's one thing that I'd really want to feel, that could have been the worst. I am devastated. Totally messed. I don't even know how I managed to look at them. My kids. I have kids.
Nanatili akong nakayuko sa mesa habang pinaglalaruan ang bote ng alak na hawak ko. Paulit-ulit kong minumura ang sarili ko. I don't know what to feel. Pakiramdam ko naparalyze ang buong katawan ko.
As soon as I went out the party's venue, I drove my ass here in this lonely bar. Hindi ito gaya ng iba na maingay at maraming tao. This one is like a normal restaurant. Dito ko nilunod ang buong oras ko sa kakaisip na may anak nga ako. Mga anak.
"Sir, are you okay?" Asked by a waitress. Tumango ako na hindi man lang ito tinapunan ng tingin. I heard her sigh saka ako tumingin dito. I then noticed her uniform and then someone popped in mind.
Samantha.
"I am perfectly fine." I said as if I am addressing it to to the person I am currently thinking. Tumango ito at ngumiti. Even with a dim light, I noticed her cheeks turned red.
Sinundan ko ng tingin ang pagtalikod nito. I smirked bago ko muling tinuon ang sarili ko sa bote na hawak ko.
Even just like that, she can still invade my mind. Kahit sino atang makita ko, it will always remind me of Samantha. I can't believe she had me under her palms right now. I will admit it, knowing that we have children blew it all. Pakiramdam ko natalo na talaga niya ako.
I bet she planned to keep it from me. Hindi na rin ako magugulat kung...kung hindi alam ng mga anak ko na buhay ang daddy nila.
F*ck! This is insane. I am getting insane.
Alam kong akin sila. Alam kong anak ko sila. But damn Samantha! Now I don't even know how to face her. Alam kong sa oras na harapin ko siya ay ipamumukha lang nito kung gaano ako kagago. Not that I really want that but I once thought that it will be better..better that she hates me. But the thought we have children makes it different now.
I am really torn between choices na kahit anong piliin ko, still, I'll end up being the jerk. I will still be miserable. How can I not see this coming? I had planned things to be smooth but looking at the situation right now, I don't think it will come along smoothly lalo na't may mga batang involve.
Napalingon ako dahil sa pagtikhim nang kung sino. Agad umangat ang inis ko nang makita ko kung sino. Hindi na ako nag-atubiling kwelyuhan ito.
"Bakit Kevin?! Bakit hindi mo sinabi sakin ang tungkol sa mga bata?!! You should have known about them! Dalawang taon ka ng nagtatrabaho sa kanila, pero bakit ni minsan hindi mo binanggit sakin ang tungkol sa kanila?! You were with them in Hawaii, with my kids! Pero hindi mo sinabi!"
"May mababago po ba sir kung sasabihin ko sa inyo?" He asked. I unconciously loosen my grip on his collar.
"Wala hindi ba? Ganun parin. You will turn them down. You will still push your plans to make them kneel infront of you. Ginawa ko lang ang dapat. Hindi ko sinabi dahil hindi dapat involve ang mga bata dito."
Tuluyan ko na itong binitawan. Everything that Stunner said has hit me. I balled my fist and return to my sit, ignoring his presence.
"You don't understand." The only words I said.
"Ano bang hindi ko maintindihan sa lahat ng gusto mong mangyari? Kung tungkol parin ito sa mommy mo, well I truly doubt na wala silang alam. Ever since I've been working with them, ni minsan hindi ko narinig na binaggit nila si Ma'am Louella. Even Mr. Greg or Ashton. What proof you wanted me to show you so I could convince you to stop this? For once, Luigi, stop this. Ngayong alam mo ng may mga anak kayo, will you please have a heart to just patch things up and forget everything?"
"If only that could be easy. Just leave me alone. " I answered. I heard him sigh.
"By the way. I want to quit. Magreresign na ako. I don't want my job with you anymore. Anyways, mukhang para sayo di narin naman efficient ang trabaho ko. " he said. Hindi ako sumagot. He was about to turn his back when I called his attention.
"Please help me see my children tomorrow. Sa...Saang school sila pumapasok?" I asked. Saglit itong nag-isip. Tinatantiya siguro kung tutulungan ba ako nito o hindi. Bigla akong nawalan ng pag-asa.
"Nevermind. Just me your resignation--"
"Sige. I'll help you tomorrow." He said. I sighed with relief. Hindi ko napansin na nakaalis na ito. For now, Kevin is my only way to get closer with my children. Gusto ko munang umiwas kay Samantha lalo na't hindi ko parin alam ang dapat gawin.
I literally drove myself around the city. Hindi ko rin gustong umuwi sa ngayon. It's been how many years since I've chosen to live out of our house. I left dad. Hindi maayos ang ugnayan naming dalawa before I left to States. It's probably one reason why I feel so alone and mad at the same time.
I can't do anything with my situation right now.
I went out of my car to see a better view of the night sky. I fished out my phone and dial the last person I have never thought I'm gonna talk with.
"Kuya.." I gasped after hearing his voice.
"Skyler.." I said. Now I'm confuse. Hindi ako makahanap ng tamang salita na sasabihin sa kanya. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ko siya tinawagan.
"Kuya, what's up? I never thought you'll call at this time. Gabi na dyan hindi ba? Where are you? Are you with..dad?" Sunud-sunod na tanong nito.
"Chill. I'm..not with dad. You know..hindi pa kami nagkakausap." I said. Saglit itong natahimik.
"I see. So...bakit ka napatawag?" He asked.
"I have a news. A good one." I said.
"Really? So what is it?" He asked. Damn! I never thought we could talk like this as real brothers. Hindi ko tinratong kapatid noon si Skyler pero hearing him call me kuya, or talking to me like this, seems to bother me. I think I'm liking the fact that he is still my brother.
"I have children." I cooly said. Sumandal ako sa sasakyan ko.
"Holy--Kay Laureen?!!! Was that even a good news? " Biglang tumaas ang boses nito. I stop myself from smiling.
"No! Of course not. I have twins..not from Laureen. Kay Samantha." I said then my smile faded.
"That's indeed a good news! So...anong balak mo?" He asked and I felt myself frozen. Everytime that she's involve, parati nalang akong natatanong kung anong balak ko.
"I...I don't know." I said. Napatingala ako sa langit na wala man lang bituin. I think it's gonna rain.
"Just set yourself free kuya. Forget about the madness. By then, you will be able to find your happiness and I know si Sam yun. Lalo na ngayon may mga anak pala kayo." He said.
"It's not that easy..f*ck it's not." I said with a lower voice. Natigilan ito at ilang segundo bago makapagsalita.
"Kuya, do you mind if ask you?"
"What?"
"Does mom has something to do with all of these? What was your deal with her? Tell me so I could help you. I can talk to her. "
"Skyler--"
"Kuya..alam kong kinausap ka ni mommy noon. I did not know what was that about. Hinayaan ko dahil alam kong hindi ka naman makikinig sa kanya. But with all you've done to Sam, I just thought na may kinalaman si mommy dito. Those sudden changes and now, what you're doing now. "
"You spent your night with that girl?" I was about to go upstairs when I saw my stepmother sitting comfortably.
"Are you talking to me?" I asked. Tumayo ito at lumapit sa akin.
" I don't like her for you neither for Skyler." She said.
"Wala din namang may gusto sayo." I answered.
"You will still marry Laureen." She said. I smirked.
"That is not for you to decide. Kung gusto mo ikaw ang magpakasal sa daddy niya para naman makuha mo ang sinasabi mong shares sa kanila. Sooner or later ako narin naman ang hahawak ng Globals, hindi ko na kailangan kumapit pa sa mga Mendrez."
I was about to ignore her and walk when she talk again.
"It's better. Mas malaking yaman, mas madali mong mapapatumba ang mga Alarcon."
"What do you know about them?"
"Just exactly what you know about them, and the missing daughter whom surprisingly your toy." I balled my fist. Talking to her never seems to be a good idea.
"I have no time for this shits." I said. Tinalikuran ko ito pero mahigpit ako nitong hinawakan sa braso.
"I know where your mother is." She said. My eyes widen with disbelief. My lips parted.
"I do. Alam ko kung nasaan si Louella. To tell you, Greg Alarcon has really something to do about it. Alam ko kung nasaan siya ngayon--"
"Then tell where is she? Kung alam mo nga kung nasaan siya, then tell me?"I said. My hearts skip fast while waiting for her answer.
"Hindi ganoon kadali iyon. You have to do first my condition. "
"You are just fooling me."
"Pabagsakin mo ang negosyo ng mga Alarcon and I'll tell you where is she. Hindi naman mahirap yun sayo..tutal galit ka naman talaga sa kanila hindi ba? Sila ang dahilan kung bakit nasira ang pamilya mo..kung bakit ka iniwan ng nanay mo. Then make them suffer, make them down to their knees."
"Bakit ako maniniwala sayo?" I asked.
"Ikaw rin, baka mahuli ang lahat. You must do it as soon as you can, baka hindi mo na maabutan ang mommy mo. I didn't mean to say that, let's say, habang mas maaga, gawin mo na. Start with Greg's daughter, that toy of yours. Kapag nagawa mo na silang pabagsakin, rest assured, magkikita kayo ng mommy mo. "
"Kuya.." I heard Sky's voice.
"It was nothing Sky. You don't have to worry about it. It was pure business." I said.
"You know Sam doesn't deserve this. I've seen her so in love with you. I know you learned to love her as well. Alam ko yun, dahil kung hindi, bakit kailangan mo kong utusan na magsinungaling sa kanya? Why do you want her to get mad at you? "
" It's pure business. " I answered.
*****
"Am I late?" I asked Kevin who's now frowning. Nandito kami ngayon sa tapat ng school kung saan nag-aaral ang mga anak ko. I hurriedly drove here kahit pa kagigising ko lang. It's already 4:30pm at dismissal na ng mga bata.
"Muntik na. Lagot talaga ako nito kay Ma'am Aldea. Basta sir, do not forget, 20 minutes lang. Kundi siguradong mahahalata ni Ma'am na ako nagset up nito just like the last night. At, huwag na huwag kayong lalayo. Baka biglang dumating si Ma'am--"
"Yes..yes..I promise. Where are they?"
"Nasa guard's house po. Doon kasi gustong maghintay ni Vaughn Miguel pag uwian. Katropa kasi niya si Manong guard." Tumango ako. I hid my smile when I heard my son's second name.
Sabay kaming lumapit ni Stunner sa guard house at nakita ko ang dalawang batang nakaupo sa tabi ng guard. I saw Vaughn giving high five to some of his classmates. I feel like I'm lost or what.
"Sir. Ako po yung secretary ni Ms. Alarcon, pinapakuha po niya sa akin ang mga bata, "
"Ah ganun ba sir, akala ko si Mr. Kier ang magsusundo. Oh Vaughn, nandito na secretary ng mama nyo."
"Si Mr. Stubber po?" I heard Vaughn asked. Napangiti ako. He is like his mother. Makakalimutin sa pangalan.
"Mr. Stunner! How are you?" I heard a little girl's voice. She's Chloe I guess. She has big brown eyes and curly hair. May katabaan ito at maputi at mapula ang pisngi.
"I'm fine thank you. By the way I'm with Mr. Luigi. Siya ay friend ng mama niyo."
Kevin said. Lumuhod ako para mapantayan ang anak kong babae.
"H..Hi.., " I touch her face. She seems recognizing me. Nakakunot ang noo nito at parang kinikilatis ako. Pakiramdam ko luluwa ang puso ko habang tinititigan siya.
"Mr? Ano nga po ulit name nyo? Diba ikaw po yung nasa party ni mama? " Napalingon ako kay Vaughn. I felt my eyes sting. I bit my lip to supress my emotion. What I'm feeling is beyond gladness.
"Yes. I'm Luigi, do you guys want to eat?"
"Eat?! I want to--" hindi natuloy ni Chloe ang sasabihin niya nang takpan ni Vaughn ang bibig nito.
"Sabi ni mama don't talk to strangers po. " he said while Chloe is struggling to take her brother's hand on her mouth.
"Now we are talking na! Let's go na po, we will eat. Mcdo po ha!" I felt shivers when Chloe caught my hand. I found the urge to carry her so I did.
"Tara na Vaughny! Mr. Luigi, seems to be a nice guy naman eh, gusto mo chicken?" She said.
Damn! I'm loving this already.
I am just watching my children while eating their food. Dito kami sa malapit na Mcdo kumain. I ordered as many food as they want. Medyo madumi nga lang kumain si Chloe.
"Mr. Mario--"
"Luigi...not Mario.." I said. Gusto kong matawa dahil kanina ko pa pinaulit-ulit ang pangalan ko pero iba-ibang pangalan ang nababanggit niya. Maybe I should teach him to call me papa or daddy, that way he could remember.
But I doubt,these kids would believe me na ako ang daddy nila.
"Thank you po sa foods." They both said. I felt my phone vibrated. It's a message from Kevin.
Sir, Parating na po si Ms. Aldea. Yari ka na! Pati ako. Huhu.
No. I still don't want to go. I still want to be with them. Biglang tumunog ang phone ko. It's from an unknown number. I was about to ignore it pero hindi ito tumigil sa pagtawag.
"Hello--"
"Hello your face!! Nasaan ang mga anak ko??!"
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A/N
Sorry di nakapag-update kahapon. Thank you nga po pala sa mga nag-encourage sa akin to update. Ang dami kong nabasang nobela dahil sa mga messages niyo. Hahaha!
Happy Reading :)