-Estella romano
"The beluga triangle!" My father yelled out confidently making me cringe as i facepalmed myself. Dearest mother decided that we should have a family game night. Its been an hour and all i wanna do is stab my eyeballs out with a pen. The game being 30 seconds. My brother shakes his head as he silently does expressions to help my father out with the answer. I groan as i stand up from my seat.
"The answer is the bermuda triangle. Its located vienna , austria" i silence the screams from the two groups. My brothers face lights up as he picks me up and hugs me "thank god , one smart person in this group. Dad if i knew you'd suck at general knowledge i would've picked mom" Dad gasps as i a small smile breaks out on my face . My eyes catch my sisters as she cocks her head to the side and looks at my face . More like examining.
Okay?
I avert my gaze from her as mom comes in between dad and rahuls arguing as she holds up her hand
"Okay fine ! Switch teams. Happy?" She silences both men as they nod quickly.
My brother runs to stand next to me as i sigh. Dad stays rooted next to mom.
"Looks like we're gonna give the kids a run for their money , huh honey?"mom snickers as she nudges dad and he mouths to my brother along the lines "You're going down" to which i roll my eyes at.
Can i kill myself now or later?
"Ash , come on dear sorella . The game won't start without you. You're on our team" my head snaps to my brother as i glare at him. But he seems unfazed at my glare to which i clench my fists at. Im so gonna kill him. Im gonna kill him and dump his body in the sea. Yeah. I should totally do that.
"Cool" she quirks as she comes to stand next to me. I stiffen as i clench my fists together. Shes too close. Too fucking close. I grind my teeth together as i feel her stare on the side of my head. I tap my foot impatiently as i wait for the game to begin. My brother clicks his toungue on the roof of his mouth as he takes a card out and covers it to see if anyone is watching. I want to wack him in the head for taking so damn long.
He turns to us "huddle , team" i throw my hands up in the air "oh my fu-
He grabs me at the shoulders, and he does the same to ash as she stands on the other side of him. We stand in a team formation as i bite the inside of my cheek "okay so i think we're fucked. I don't know half of the shit written on the card. And i doubt you guys know" he whisper yelled .
"Ra , you're underestimating us , hand me the damn card" ash whisper yells back as he grabs the card out of his hand to which i roll my eyes. She reads over the card "what is the name of the coco pops mascot..." she reads the sentence.
"Who in the living fuck made this game ?" She shoves the card in his chest as i sigh "im sure we can figure it out. So lets just start?" I offer looking at my brother as he nods and we break apart.
My mother and father stare at us as smug smirks take over thier features "ready to go down?" They snicker and my brother sticks out his toungue like a kid. He nods indicating that we're ready to start.
He holds the card out infront of him as he speaks to us "which political figure became baronness of kesteven?" My brothers nose scruntches up as he reads the sentence.
"Oh honey, weren't we just speaking about the history of kesteven yesterday?" My father laughs out as he hears the question.
"You're right sweetheart , do you guys need a hand ?"
"No !" All three of us yell out as once as i turn to my brother.
"Two years ago. We did a task on kesteven. I don't remember it vaguely, but i have bits and piece-
"Margaret thatcher" came the voice stopping me mid sentence. My head snaps to my sister as my hair slaps in my face. I furrow my eyebrows at her.
She did not just steal my thunder.
Everyone goes quiet as my brother turns over the card. We all wait in anticipation. His eyes light up as he throws his fist in the air "OH HELL YES !" he yells as he runs to my sister and picks her up. Dad and mom even cheer her on as i back away into a dark hole. They all cheer her one for being so smart. While i fade away into the shadows. Tears burn my eyes. Once again. Ashley romano has once proven.
I only exist in her world.
I blink away the tears as i silently walk out of the dining room. The sounds of thier cheering fading with each step i take towards the door. I open the front door as i close it quietly. The smell of rain pierces my nostrils as inhale the scent and all the tension disappears. The sound of the rain hitting the gravel ground and creating a deep splashing sound fills my senses as i listen to the satisfying sound. I didn't even hear someone come out until i felt a presence next to me. I open my eyes as i turn my head next to me.
We stand in utter silence as i stare out into the dark night. The only light being the street lamps the neighborhoods house lights. I bite the inside of my cheek as i blow out a puff of air and dig my hands into my hoodie pockets. I feel her stare down at my hands "old habits die hard , huh?" She says , talking about me digging my hands into my hoodie pockets. I look at her as a small smile sits on her face. I take a real look at ashley romano. Her cheeks had gotten fatter. Her hairs shorter. Her long hair which sat at the middle of her back sits ontop of her breasts now. Her once pink cheeks are pale. Her brown hazel eyes shine as the street lights hits them and i sigh internally at her beauty.
I don't say anything as i avert my gaze from her and stare straight ahead. I lick my dry lips as we stand in awkward silence "You're...different" she spoke again . This time softly. I turn to her as i sigh "no thanks to you" my harsh words come out harsher than expected. She flinches at my tone making me feel a tinge of guilt. I shake my head as i avert my gaze at her. I walk forward as i sit on the dry porch steps under the rooftop.
I play with my fingers infront of me as the cold air hugs it and makes me shiver. Thinking ash will go inside , but she suprises me as she comes to sit next to me. Hugging her cardigan close to her chest. "I see my room hasn't changed one bit i thou-
"You thought as soon as you left , id mold into your life and replace you?" I interupt her as the cold pierces my skin. I put my hoodie over my head. Her lips part as she shakes her head "thats not what i-
"What are you doing here ashley?" She flinches at her use of full name. She looks down as her fingers and back up at me "i came home for my family. I missed you guys. I missed mom. Dad. Rahul...you."she whispers the last part making me scoff.
"You're lying...you talked to mom a month ago. And when she begged you to come home and visit. You declined and told her you were busy with exams. And that you couldn't make it...so why...are you here ashley?" I dont break eye contact with her as she looks at me.
Her gaze softens "i just...wanted to come home"she whispers and i shake my head "is this about the guy zaid-
My eyes widen as i stand up "what are you talking about ! " i breathe harshly with every word "...this isn't about him. Or me for that matter. You always do this. We talk about something and you morph it and change it by talking about your good fucking life " i hiss out every word as she stays quiet. We stand in quiet. The only sounds being the rain coming down and my harsh breathing. She doesn't move as the words hit her.
She stands up without a word as she wipes her hands and pushes her hair behind her ears . She walks up the remaining steps as she puts her hand on the door nob. She stands there and i furrow my eyebrows at her . She turns her head over her shoulder. She gives me a small smile "missed you too , sis" thats all she says as she walks inside the house and disappears leaving me alone with the night. The night being my comfort , yet ive never felt alone than i do right now. Moisture rolls down my cheek and i touch it and realise its my own tears. When did i start to cry?
I take out my phone with shaking hands as i ring a text to my brother.
Me : tell dad , I'll be crashing at aprils.
I dont think twice before putting my phone in my pocket as i walk into the storming rain. The rain molds with my tears as it runs down my face and sticks my clothing to my body. I don't know where im going. But i don't have the sense to stay under the same roof as ash right now. I take off my hood as i push my wet hair out of my face. I walk with my head down as i block out the world. I ignore the voice thats telling me I'll probably get kidnapped or robbed as i walk down the street. A car drives pass making me flinch as i move onto the pavement. My eyes trail down to the familiar grass and then to the familiar porch. And then to the familiar house.
I stand in the full blown rain as i stare at the house infront of me.
Go back home
I shake my head at the voice as my eyes trail up the house. One rooms lights are still on.
You're a burden
I can go inside...
No one wants you here.
My feet carry me onto the porch steps as i walk with each agonizing step. I bite the inside of my cheek as the rain soon leaves me and the only thing i have is myself. I raise my hand as i three times.
What am i doing?
I shouldn't be here. This can't be the first place i run to when im in a meaningless crisis. This is taking too long . I go to turn around as the door swings open making me stop in my tracks. I slowly turn around as my eyes clash with his. His warm eyes engulf me as my whole body erupts with tingles. I feel myself being pulled in and the soon cold air disappears and the warmth surrounds me and gives me a reassuring hug. Warm fingers touch my skin as i blink up at the person.
" Fuck. What are you doing out in the rain estella." the voice comes out harsh making me come back into reality. My chest rises up and down .
"You said...if ...i ever felt like ...if i ever felt like i wanted to do it again. I should come to you" my words come out soft and broken as i stare up at zaid.
♡♡♡
- Zaid gonzales.
Someone hurt my girl. Shes in some fucking trance. Ive asked her five times what happened. She looked at me like she was stuck in her own head. Only when i pulled her in and demanded her to tell me what happened she finally spoke. I haven't seen my girl in 3 days. And it already feels like a decade. Shes been avoiding me. Ever since i ripped that tshirt off her body and molded my lips to hers. It only lasted five minutes though before we heard players coming in. I gave her my hoodie and she ran as she covered her face and dissappeared from my life for three fucking days. As much as i wanna punish her for making me not see her pretty face for three damn days. I can't do that right now. Tears brim her eyes as she blinks up at me . I give her a small smile as i pull her at the nape of her neck and pull her towards me. I plant my lips onto her forehead as she lets out a deep sigh.
"Im so fucking proud of you" i whisper against her skin and i feel her intake a breath of air. "...and as much as i fucking wanna scream at you for being so reckless to walk out in the rain so late at night...i can't. My girl needs me" with each word i say she sniffles and i almost wanna chuckle at her adorable
sniffle. After minutes of letting her stay so close to me. She breaks apart from me as she averts her gaze to anywhere but me. I frown as i stare at her.
"Look at me" i demand as she lifts her eyes up to me . I take a step close to her "you never...and i mean never. Stop looking at me. I wanna see all of you...understand ,hermosa?" I lift her chin up gently and she nods slowly.
She clears her throat as she shivers "d-do you have any dry clothes for me to wear?"
I urge her on to follow me as i turn around and walk up the stairs to my room. I don't need to turn around to see if shes following me. I can smell her. I can feel her everywhere. In my head. Every -fucking-where. I open my bedroom door as i hear her hesitant footsteps stop at my door. I can feel her observing my room. My rooms...bland. black walls. Huge bed. Pictures of lia and i.
"Black walls , why am i not suprised?" I can hear the humor in her voice as she finally walks in and straight to the pictures of lia and i. I chuckle at her statement as i dig out some sweatpants and a sweater. I throw it onto the bed. With two towels including.
"I noticed...lia and you. You guys dont have the same colour eyes...which parent did she get it from?" She hesitates as she asks me. And the urge to shut her down immediately hits me but i refrain from doing so.
"Mother" came my clipped answer. She nods as i look at her. She puts the photo down as she looks down at the next one.
"Its hard to see you look so carefree when you're so..."
I fold my arms as i walk closer to her "go on." I urge her on.
She traces my face on the picture as she looks at me "cold" she whispers the word. I don't say anything as i pick up the clothes from the bed and walk towards her. I put it into her hands.
"Theres a bathroom , you can shower. Do whatever you want. And take your time hermosa" i point a finger at her and she nods as she chuckles.
Theres my smile
"Thank you" she whispers before disappearing into the bathroom making me let out a sigh. I walk the room and downstairs. I look at the time. Its just after midnight. Thank god , its Saturday. I take out ingredients to make waffles.
I get busy in the kitchen as i add three waffles into each off our plates. I make sure to add vanilla icecream in her plate since she likes it. And mint in mine. Its been 30 mintues. She's probably done by now. I walk up the stairs passing lias room. Shes sound asleep with a book thrown ontop of her face. I shake my head and walk to my room. I push open the door and i freeze.
Estella yelps as she grabs the towel and holds it around her bare knees. Blood instantly rushes to cock as i clench the two plates in my hand. Estella stands there in my t-shirt only that reaches her knees. I see the sweatpants laying on my bed .
"Zaid ! Do you not knock" she whisper yells as i smirk "hey , you're the one posing around in only my tshirt" i lick my lips as i look at her up and down. She blushes a deep red "its not my fault you're a damn giant and your sweatpants doesn't wanna fit me. Are you kidding me ! I had to tie it 5 times and it still pooled down to my fee-
I silence her by putting a finger againt her lips "You're rambling" i point out as i chuckle and she groans as she throws the towel on the bed. I walk out the room silently and into lias. I tip toe to her cupboard as i grab a pair of sweatpants. She snores loudly as i wince. Christ.
I walk back into my room as i throw the sweatpants into her hands " here , put this on. I don't think i have the restraint to not fuck you over my desk when you're just waltzing around in only my shirt."
She gasps as pink taints her cheeks. She runs into the bathroom . She comes out after two mintues with fitted sweatpants that shows the curve of her delicious ass clearly. I stiffle a groan as she lets go off her tied hair and frizzes it out.
Her stomach growls as she smells "whats that smell?" She asks innocently as she sits on my bed. I turn around as i grab the two plates . I hand one to her as she grabs it hesitantly "y-you made these?" She whispers and i nod as i sit down next to her. Our knees touching.
"Eat" i nudge her as she stares at the waffles . She startles as she lets out a sigh. She digs into it with her fork as she puts it into her mouth. Her stiff expression relaxes soon after she tastes in "wow , this is good"
"I think thats the first compliment I've ever gotten from you" i say as i dig into my own and she chuckles "yeah well dont get use to it."
I shake my head at her sass "why in the living fucking day lights were you out in the rain" i say seriously and her forks drops into her plate "i thought i already told you-
"No i know that. What caused it. You better speak...before i use other methods" i say seriously and her eyes widen as she licks the icecream off her lips.
"Okay ! okay ! . Christ...uhm...okay. My sister and i had a small argument" the oldest romano sibing. The exact replica if my fox. Shes just the older version. Shes also the girl who told me her sisters likes and dislikes at the hockey game the other night. Hence why i know her favorite ice cream.
I nod "she doesn't seem that bad" she grimaces as soon as the sentence leaves my mouth. She scoots away from me as a wave of jealousy takes over her features "you dont know her." She snaps and i smirk at her jealousy. I lean in as i wipe a bit of icecream off the corner of her mouth.
I hate vanilla icecream. But this girl coud make me like anything if it involves her. I put my finger into my mouth and she lets out a tiny gasp as red tints her cheeks "thats inappropriate" she whispers and i let out a dark chuckle.
"Want me to remind you about the time you came apart on my co-
"Sweet jesus ! can you not ?" She hissed and i chuckled.
The night went on like that. Soon it was 2 and then 3 and then 4. We talked and got to know each other. I found out she lost her first tooth when she was seven. Her first friends was in the fifth grade but they soon left her. She told me about how she met rory and april. She told me about how much she loves her dad. I didnt miss the part where she left out her mom. We even decided to work some on the project. We got some good work done. Soon we were both worn out as she layed next to on the pillow. We stared at each other. Silence. Yet alot of words were spoken. We spoke with eyes.
"Estella..." i started and she looked at me "zaid" she said back and i lifted my hand up to her face and tucked her hair behind her ear.
"All you've been talking about is people leaving you...i don't know how or why they could do such a thing. I'd could listen to you talk for hours. I could take your insults and turn them into compliments. I'd laugh with you...I'll never leave you estella. Not like them. Not now. Not ever. Okay?"
Her eyes shine with tears as she holds out her pinky" pinky promise?" I smile as i link our pinkies together and kiss it "now it'll be locked forever. And if either one of us decides to leave. I dont care if its you or me. You find your fucking way back to me."
I just hope my demons stay locked in forever.