Trigger warning: I am gonna describe treatment methods of flooding (phobia treatment) and exposure treatment (ptsd) but some parts could be inaccurate since I'm not a therapist. And it could be triggering so if it's something you can't read about at this moment you can skip this chapter! Or at least parts of it.
[past]
Axel's pov
I find Ella already in the library for the school study group for people applying for Ivy League schools. She looks up from the book, watching me take a seat next to her. The same study group when we first met three years ago. On the first day of the meeting, I found out she was also aiming to apply for medicine, to which I asked her to be my partner in science subjects and extra-curriculars since we would be doing similar things.
But now was the season when everyone was filling in their applications, and the study group members were feeling more tense and weary about who would get into their dream school and who wouldn't. And for Ella and me, what we would do if we ended up in different universities.
I have nothing against doing a long-distance relationship, but I haven't asked Ella about her opinion yet. I could feel that we were both avoiding the conversation.
'Did you finish your application already?' I ask, seeing her close the textbook as I sit down.
'I did for my first three. I haven't done the other half.' She replies, leaning back in her seat and rubbing her face with her eyes closed looking tired despite the smile. 'I'm not motivated to put effort into schools that I don't even want to go to.' She says again, watching me laugh as she only lays her head on the desk.
'You only want to go to Yale. Of course.' I say, copying her movement to lay my face on the desk facing hers.
'And you only want to go to Harvard.' She responds, tapping my knuckles with her finger. 'Did they make you train again?' She says, seeing a new scab on my palm, referring to the football team.
'Well, it's the last match before we graduate. Got to give my best.' I reply, Ella only raising her eyebrows before sitting up as the others start to arrive at the library.
[present]
Despite not having seen Ella for years, she hadn't changed as much as I expected, only having grown more mature features from the youthful appearance she had back when we were in highschool. However, I see something darker lurking in her eyes, and not because of the darkness of the underground apartment that she was hiding in.
I did not know where she or her family disappeared four years ago, although, before that, I did at least hear about her whereabouts when we had socials for old high school friends. I assumed she didn't come to the socials at the same time as me to save the awkwardness, although I wanted to see her again.
That was until I saw Ella on the Korean news platforms many times this year for problems with her half-brother. And when the news that she was dead came on, I felt my gut drop, finally understanding that she must have left for Korea all these years I wondered why I wasn't hearing anything about her around me. The pieces of random evidence and controversies were confusing enough, with every opinion coming out from the Korean press differing by day.
Even then, life had to carry on.
I was working a normal day in Seattle as a psychiatrist, now with my own clinic and a group of doctors and nurses when I got a call from an unknown number who turned out to be Mr. Lee. I remembered him as Ella's father figure, her occasionally even calling him "appa" which Mr. Lee did not seem to mind.
He told me that Ella was alive. And that she asked for me to help.
So I took the plane that same evening to Seoul.
However, unlike what Mr. Lee had said, Ella did not seem too happy to see me.
And found out that it was because she was with someone else.
Y/n's pov
You sit on your couch, Axel sitting across from you with a coffee table in between. He shifts awkwardly as you glance at him, him only having found out that you had a new boyfriend.
Who thought you were dead, but both of you still well together.
'I flew... from the States the second I heard about you. I too thought you must be dead. And either way, good to see you again.' Axel says as you stay silent, and you lean back to rest the wound on your side.
'It's been years and you still-'
'You've heard the saying that men never forget their first love.' You only take a breath in, Axel looking away from you to the side.
'Captain Yoo is going to be mad about this when he finds out.' You whisper to yourself as you bury your face into your hand, remembering how irritated he was in Uruk over you having talked about Axel now almost five years ago.
And now he was in your apartment, quite explicitly telling you he was hoping to get back together after years. You wonder if he'll be mad more about the fact that you didn't tell him about you being alive or that while he thought you were dead, you were staying with your ex.
'You call your boyfriend Captain?' Axel asks, his eyes growing wide. 'What does he call you, then?' He asks, clearly ignoring the fact that you were uneasy about everything.
'Han seon-saeng.' You reply dryly, Axel almost snorting in amusement before he looks up at your brows furrowing, falling silent.
'Well. That's not important now. We'll start, but you know I couldn't take medicine out of hospitals. So we'll have to do it the hard way.' He says, his lips arching as you lean backwards.
'First, I'm going to show you a picture of-'
'Just show me the gun. I don't have the time to take the full healing process. I just need it enough so I can keep myself together when... it happens.' You say as he reaches into his bag, Axel's hand stopping as he slowly sits properly again.
'It could do more harm than good.' He replies hesitantly, his lips tightening as he sees you watching him indifferently.
'I don't have time.' You say dryly, Axel staring back at you for a few seconds before shrugging.
'Fine.' He says again, scratching his temple. 'We'll then use the prolonged exposure therapy. I'm going to show the gun to you today, and once your symptoms get better we'll move up to the next parts.' He explains, that although you start feeling impatient at the slow approach.
'If I get symptoms either way, just start with the most intense part.' You say, Axel only shaking his head.
'As a psychiatrist, I'm not going to let you do that.' He says jokingly, smiling despite you sitting backward, looking away to the other side.
'We'll start.' He states, reaching into his bag again from the side.
He slowly takes out a gun from the bag, which you do not ask where and how he got one. You feel your shoulders tense as he puts it on the coffee table, his gaze on your eyes focused on the muzzle, shifting onto the trigger.
The black hole of the gun stares back into you, the image of the blinding light shooting out of the muzzle with a blasting sound ringing in your ears. You feel your fingers tremble as you reach your hands over to your ears, Axel mouthing something to you although you don't hear anything from the flashbacks of the gunfires.
'Ella.' Blinking, you focus back on the gun, your senses returning to normal. Wiping your eyes, you look up at Axel, him looking apologetic.
'How long will it take.' You ask, Axel sighing as he looks down on his lap.
'You know that really depends.' He replies, watching you grip the sides of the couch seeing the gun still sitting on the table.
'Well. We'll do some relaxation methods. I'll count to three, and you inhale deeply.' Axel only says, his gaze on you as you stare back at the black pistol on the table.
Shi Jin's pov
I stare at Dr. Han's business card between my fingers, sitting on my bed and leaning against the pillow behind me in the dark. Her neutral expression stares back at me, unblinking even as I brush my finger over the photo. I look at the space next to me, seeing Dr. Han's ghost again, sitting with her knees pulled tight.
'You asked me why I didn't come and get you. Well. Why did you leave me then?' I ask her, Dr. Han only shifting her gaze over to me with her head tilting to one side.
'I didn't.' She replies, her voice sounding quiet and hollow.
'But you only come and go.' I say, feeling the back of my eyes prickle again.
'Just because you can't see me, it doesn't mean I left.' She responds, her hand cold as she reaches out to hold mine. 'But you remember my will, right?' She asks again, her gaze lowering to her toes. I watch her paling face, the blood drained from her skin.
'You forgot.' She says bitterly, her chilly hand leaving mine.
'I didn't forget a single word. But you have to understand I care more about you than bringing them down. And that means you at least have to allow me time to grieve before I can do anything.' I say, suddenly feeling angry at her ghost. I stop as I see Dr. Han flinch, burying her lips into her arms on top of her knees.
'We don't have time. They'll come after everyone who's on your side now. You'll all die. Sooner or later. But you said you were people who try to bring justice to the unfair world.' She says again, her voice shaking. I sigh, watching her shoulders shake. I reach over to her, placing my arms around her although she remains cold.
'I will.' I reply, Dr. Han finally smiling before she fades away again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The three pairs of eyes focus on me the next day, after I called Dr. Kang, Myung Joo, and Sergeant Seo to meet me at a cafe, the three cups of coffee once again untouched in front of us.
'So what...do we do? I thought the police were already searching properly now.' Dr. Kang asks as the four of us sit at a cafe, the other three finally looking more human again now that the right police are taking Dr. Han's case more seriously.
'She left me a will. Back in Uruk.' I say, Myung Joo looking up from the table. 'She didn't...confess to me in her will. She told me about what happened to her family. And about where all the evidence is.' I explain, Dr. Kang's brows furrowing as she leans forward onto the table.
'It's her pen that recorded the evidence. We have to find it before Haesung does.'
Y/n's pov
You tap your fountain pen against the table, staring into the wall with the pinboard, specifically at your father's photo on the top with the same red pin piercing his forehead. You knew that Han Seok Won would have told your father about the recording of their crimes, including the incident in New York and also about Argus in Uruk. You figured that the solid evidence must be the reason for them to have come after you that night to finish you off for good.
What they didn't know was that you still had the evidence, and now the black-box footage of the attempt at Han River on top it.
You snap out of your thoughts as you hear your phone ring, Reporter Kim calling you. Reaching over to the table, you take the phone, answering the call.
'Juggi...Captain Yoo and the others came just now...asking me to help them find a...a pen? A fountain pen? I don't know what they are talking about but it has the evidence? Apparently they also told the same thing to the Incheon police detectives.' He says confusedly into the phone, and you close your eyes, rubbing your forehead. Of course, Captain Yoo would follow your will from Uruk. You bite your tongue wanting to tell Reporter Kim to tell them to not follow your will, brushing the hair out of your face.
'I have it. But you know you can't tell them that. You can lead them on to search my original house. Make sure they don't come near Haesung anymore after that until the inauguration. It's too dangerous.' You reply, Reporter Kim agreeing.
'I will do that. So you will wait until then?' He asks hesitantly, and you glance back at Axel having come out of his room into the living room searching for some water. He only raises his eyebrows as you gesture at him to be quiet with your hands.
'Well yes. I am doing something else at the moment.' You reply, Axel's lips arching as he pours the water into his cup. Reporter Kim bids you goodbye, both of you ending the call.
'I see more people are in on your plan than just me. And Mr. Lee.' Axel says, holding the cup in his hand and leaning against the kitchen sink.
'Haesung is a big corporation.' You reply dryly, looking up from your seat at the table.
'I get it. You just want to bring them down and get back with your current boyfriend. I won't get in between that. But let's not be awkward. I'm your psychiatrist and also an accomplice. And it's not like it's just two of us here. We have Mr. Lee too.' Axel says staring at your distressed expression, swiftly turning around placing the cup on the counter, and reaching for the cupboard full of teabags he brought even when he claimed to have taken the plane the same night he got a call from Mr. Lee.
'Is that...' You say, craning your neck. Axel glances back at you as if you caught the bait.
'The black tea from your favourite tea shop? Yes.' He replies, taking the box of tea and shaking it slightly. 'I could give it to you, I guess.' He says jokingly, watching your irritated expression at the table.
'Give me that. I haven't had one in five years.' You say, walking over to the counter and taking the box from his hand. He surprisingly lets it go easily, only moving to get the kettle boiling the water. 'Are you sure you only had a few hours to pack your things?' You ask in suspicion, Axel only laughing as he pushes his hair back.
'Now that you have the tea box, you want to treat me as your friend.' He says, watching you rip the package open and place it into your cup. You stop your hand by the cup, Axel's words feeling like what Captain Yoo would say. Not the words themselves, but the way he speaks.
'You are...awfully similar to him.' You say blandly, taking the kettle just as it goes off before Axel.
'Comparing, are you?' He asks, seeing you pour the water into your mug.
'You're both annoying.' You reply, leaving for the couch to avoid any more conversation.
Author's note: bruh my room is under construction which is where I usually write so my daily update streak has broken.