[DOTS Y/n x Shi Jin] Always Beside You

Chapter 51

Trigger warning: I am gonna describe treatment methods of flooding (phobia treatment) and exposure treatment (ptsd) but some parts could be inaccurate since I'm not a therapist. And it could be triggering so if it's something you can't read about at this moment you can skip this chapter! Or at least parts of it.

[past]

Axel's pov

I find Ella already in the library for the school study group for people applying for Ivy League schools. She looks up from the book, watching me take a seat next to her. The same study group when we first met three years ago. On the first day of the meeting, I found out she was also aiming to apply for medicine, to which I asked her to be my partner in science subjects and extra-curriculars since we would be doing similar things.

But now was the season when everyone was filling in their applications, and the study group members were feeling more tense and weary about who would get into their dream school and who wouldn't. And for Ella and me, what we would do if we ended up in different universities.

I have nothing against doing a long-distance relationship, but I haven't asked Ella about her opinion yet. I could feel that we were both avoiding the conversation. 

'Did you finish your application already?' I ask, seeing her close the textbook as I sit down.

'I did for my first three. I haven't done the other half.' She replies, leaning back in her seat and rubbing her face with her eyes closed looking tired despite the smile. 'I'm not motivated to put effort into schools that I don't even want to go to.' She says again, watching me laugh as she only lays her head on the desk.

'You only want to go to Yale. Of course.' I say, copying her movement to lay my face on the desk facing hers.

'And you only want to go to Harvard.' She responds, tapping my knuckles with her finger. 'Did they make you train again?' She says, seeing a new scab on my palm, referring to the football team.

'Well, it's the last match before we graduate. Got to give my best.' I reply, Ella only raising her eyebrows before sitting up as the others start to arrive at the library.

[present]

Despite not having seen Ella for years, she hadn't changed as much as I expected, only having grown more mature features from the youthful appearance she had back when we were in highschool. However, I see something darker lurking in her eyes, and not because of the darkness of the underground apartment that she was hiding in.

I did not know where she or her family disappeared four years ago, although, before that, I did at least hear about her whereabouts when we had socials for old high school friends. I assumed she didn't come to the socials at the same time as me to save the awkwardness, although I wanted to see her again.

That was until I saw Ella on the Korean news platforms many times this year for problems with her half-brother. And when the news that she was dead came on, I felt my gut drop, finally understanding that she must have left for Korea all these years I wondered why I wasn't hearing anything about her around me. The pieces of random evidence and controversies were confusing enough, with every opinion coming out from the Korean press differing by day.

Even then, life had to carry on.

I was working a normal day in Seattle as a psychiatrist, now with my own clinic and a group of doctors and nurses when I got a call from an unknown number who turned out to be Mr. Lee. I remembered him as Ella's father figure, her occasionally even calling him "appa" which Mr. Lee did not seem to mind.