-Estella romano
2 years ago...
Nothing could've prepared me for the instant guilt I've been feeling this week. To say i was ashamed would be an understatement. I was utterly condemned. I've been avoiding ash for this week. When ever she tried to talk to me i came up with an excuse "im sorry , rory , april and i are hanging out. I'll catch you later" but infact i never did catch her later. I would make sure to come through my balcony door windows everytime , just so i didn't run into her. It didn't help the fact that last week . A day after damien kissed...me. My sister and him made it official and announced it to the entire house.
My brother was not happy about it. But he came through. Mom was overjoyed . As usual. Ash could wear a trash bag and she'd praise her for looking beautiful. Dad gave them the hugest sex talk and i had to cower ontop of the stairs as i listened to their conversation. Damien gave a few laughs and "yes sir" or "yes ma'am" here and there.
Acting like he didn't just kiss his girlfriends baby sister a day before he announced that they're together. I hate him. But i can't help the feel of his lips on mine. It felt so right. It was like we...fit?
And it didn't help that i heard their sex sessions during this week. I heard everything. Every moan. Every slap of skin against each other. The bed slapping against the wall. Everything!
Yes the thought of telling ash that he kissed me ran through my head a couple of times. But its too late...whats done is done. He kissed me and its completely forgoten. Besides i didn't wanna ruin her relationship. She looks so happy. Its rare. Ash never commits to a relationship. Like ever. It so happens to be that her first relationship is with a guy who kissed me. And called me flower in his disgustingly dreamy accent.
His over again today. I know that because I've been watching him and ash splash each other in the pool whole afternoon. I might look like a stalker. But in this case im not. Theres something so off about this fucking guy.
I could've called april and rory to come over and keep me company but i know if i spend too long with them. Ill just blurt everything out on a silver platter.
He pulls ash under water as her laughter fills the backyard . Feeling my gaze on him. I don't know how. But he feels it. While shes underwater , he turns his head. At me. At my balcony doors. Through my curtain. I freeze. Because what would you do in this moment? A smirk covers his features as he winks at me and my eyes widen. He saw me. And he winked at me?
Pure rage blinds me . How could he? His girlfriend was right next to him ! I don't know what happens. But next thing i know im out of my door. My flipflops smacking against the wooden stairs. I fly down the stairs as my long hair swooshes past me. She needs to know !
I push open the backdoor as the sunlight hits me and the huge oversized sweater i have on feels 10 times heavier than usual. They don't hear my presence they're too busy making out. He's kissing her. With the same mouth...he kissed me with. Don't kiss him ! I want to yell. But im stuck rooted into place.
Suddenly reality hits me and i freeze in place. Whats wrong with me? I could turn around right now but that would draw attention. So i clear my throat and they break apart. Ash turns around with a grin on her beautiful features. Her eyes light up even more when seeing me.
"Stella ! You're here ?" She squeals as she swims to the edge. I give her a soft smile as i bend down. Making sure to put an inch between us. "You finally decided to make time for your big sis? For a second there i was thinking you're avoiding me?" She teases and i chuckle nervously as i look up to damien. He's staring straight at me with that fucked up smirk etched across his face seeming to know what im thinking about. I turn my attention back to my sister as i shrug "I've just been busy, thats all"
"Well hand me a towel would ya?" She raises her eyebrows to the set of dry towels behind me . I stand up without saying anything. I can feel his stare on me. I feel so uncomfortable in this leggings. Knowing he can see everything. Im so glad my t-shirt covers my behind. I take one towel as i walk towards my sister. She holds out her hand as i put it into hers. I look at her face and a sinister grin covers her face as she grabs my arm and pulls me into the water. My eyes widen but im too late. The water swallows my gasp as my nose burns at the unexpected fall. Cold water surrounds me . Immediately cooling my warm skin. This feels nice. I should stay here.
I push myself up from below as i submerge with a gasp. I push my wet hair out of my face as ashleys laughter fills the air "thats what you get for not hanging out with me"
"I could've drowned !"
She waves a hand "you'll live"
Just as im about to push her down the water again . Moms voice fills the backyard.
"Ash ! Honey. I need your help on finding an outfit for tonights date with your father " mom stands with one hand on her hip as she leans on the backdoors frame.
"Sure , I'll be right out. Give me a second mom" she says as mom nods and goes back inside. She begins to get out and i watch her everystep. She takes another dry towel as she wipes her arms and legs.
She turns around and points behind me "I'll be right back . Damien thats my sister estella. Be nice " she gives me a wink and i freeze . I forgot he was here . Shit !
Ash runs inside as she slams the door close and silence fills the air. The only sounds are the pools water slapping against each edge of the pool.
I slowly turn around as the water touches my chin. He leans back with his forearms resting on the edge of the pool. He watches me like a hawk looking at its prey. And i gulp. Flushing uncomfortably. I dont think as i swim to the steps of the pool. Before i can reach it i swim into a hard smooth chest and i flinch back looking up at damien.
"W-what are you doing?" I whisper as a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. He shrugs mindlessly as he slowly steps forward and i take a step back.
"Stop it" i snap and his dark chuckle fills my senses.
"Stop what tsvetok?" He uses the nickname he calls me and i stop swimming backwards.
"I'll tell her , don't take another step and don't call me that you disgusting asshole" i snap as my voice quivers.
Suddenly he's infront of me as he leans down and i clench my eyelids close . He takes in my scent as he smells my hair and down my neck "you fucking smell edible" i flinch as i push his chest.
"H-how could you? Shes my sister . You knew what you were doing when-
"When you kissed me?" He raises an eyebrow.
I shake my head "i didn't kiss you. You kissed me"
"You gave me consent. Besides" he chuckles "...who do you think she'll believe? Her boyfriend or her sister whose never had a boyfriend?"
"Why are you doing this?" I whisper and he shrugs as he pushes my wet hair behind my ear. He leans down to my cheek as he sticks his toungue out and trails it from my cheek to my neck and i shudder . I feel so violated. So fucking uncomfortable. "You taste better anyways." I dont think when my hand raises and i slap him across the cheek. He holds his cheek as he laughs and nods his head up and down
"Not bad , not bad" i raise my hand again and he grabs it as he pulls me closer. A dark look suddenly taking over his features "but touch me again...and I'll tell ash you kissed me" he seems my widened expression as he pouts "what would she think? When she finds out her little sis likes to share?" I don't realise im crying as tears roll down my cheeks.
"Thats right tsvetok , give me my tears" he says in a seductive voice. And my tears roll down faster and at the same time the backdoor opens and he lifts me up and throws me underwater, just like he did to ash....
The sudden burst of pain in my temples wakes me up as i slowly peel open my eyes. The sun shining through my curtains and blinding me. I groan as i slowly sit up and blink at my surroundings . I look down at my attire and i panic. Im in shorts and a huge sweater. What happened? I was at that party and i didn't drink anything? So why dont i remember anything happening after zaid...
Oh my god ! Zaid.
He punched that guy. That was the last memory i have of yesterday and then nada. I squeeze my sweater in my hand as i freeze.
Someone...changed me.
They saw my scars. My eyes widen as i tug at the roots of my hair. Oh no . Oh god please no...
"Estella..." came someones voice from my door and i gasp as i look up. My eyes frantic and looking everywhere. Confusion laces through me as i look at the person.
"Z-zaid? You...how-
He strides toward me with a glass of water in his hand. He doesn't say anything as he sits at the edge of bed and puts the glass of water on my table. I gulp as i stare at him. He has a black t-shirt on. His forearms naked making his veins and ink stand out more. He's in grey sweatpants and sneakers. His hair looks like he's run through it a couple of times. I watch him as i clutch my blanket close to my chest. He reaches his hand out for me and i flinch. My eyes trail to his open knuckles. The skin peeled off and bile rises in my throat. Oh god. I think im gonna be sick. He stops midway as hurt takes over his features but he soon wipes it away as he clears his throat and reaches for the water.
He carefully hands it to me thinking I'll flinch again but i dont as i take the glass out of his hands "drink" came his quipped answer.
I do as he says as i drink the water. I don't realise how thirsty i am as i drink my water quickly . At this rate i might choke.
"Careful" he warns and i roll my eyes as a tiny smile lifts at his mouth. I pant as im done with my water licking the droplets that sits on my top lip. A dark look takes over zaids features as he sees my action and i blush as i clear my throat.
"I have so many questions " i breathe as i shift in my bed . He nods as he takes the glass from my hands and a jolt of electricity courses through me . Holy shit.
He silently puts the glass on the desk next to me as i watch him in silence. Why is he so quiet? His behavior reminds me so much of when i first met him that night. He looked guarded and cold.
"What happened?" I whisper as i collect fur balls of my blanket.
"What do you remember?" He voiced out and i almost sigh out of relief at hearing more than one word from him.
No...we hate him remember?
I clear my throat "i remember...talking with you" i blush as i look up at his heated stare "...the uhm kissing. Then you..." i stop and stare at him.
"you almost killed that guy" i whisper into the quiet room and a glare takes over his features "he fucking deserved it" he growls and i almost flinch back again.
"Why? what happened , because clearly i missed something" i snap as i throw my hands in the air.
He sighs as he rubs his hands down his face "i saw him touching lia"
I blink as i raise my eyebrows "o-okay? okay , maybe he deserved a punch here and there. But zaid...he could've died" i whisper the last part as i shudder.
"Good" came his answer and my eyes widened.
"Whats wrong with you ! Do you feel any remorse?" I yell at him as he glares at me his jaw flexing.
"Watch your voice estella..." he warns and i scoff as i get out of bed . I grab one of his hands up in the air "does this do anything to you? You could've killed him with your bare hands !" At this point i dont care if anyone in the house hears me. But i doubt anyone is here.
He stands up and i shrink under his gaze. He gets dangerously close to my face as his chest touches mine . A sadistic smile covers his face "does that scare you? Knowing i can kill with the same hands you find pleasure of ?"
I push at his chest "get away from me"
"No" he grabs both of my hands into his one hand. My chest rises up and down.
"What about lia ? Do you not care how this affects her?" I grit out and the smirk wipes of his face as he leans close to my face so i can smell his familiar scent "don't...not even for the slightest second. Think, you know whats best for my sister"
I push against him "ofcourse i don't. Shes your sister. You grew up with her. You know her better than me. But shes also my friend ! Whom i care about. And if her brother is acting like a deranged psychopath , im most definitely gonna give you a few tips on parenting buddy"
"You have no fucking idea what you're talking about. And i suggest you keep your mouth shut" he threatens and i chuckle.
"What are you gonna do? Hit me?" I raise an eyebrow and his eyes widen as he takes a step back and lets go of my wrists . He puts a good amount of distance between us as he tugs on his air.
"Is that what you think? That im some abusive fuck?"
I shrug "wouldn't be the first rodeo"
He grabs me at the nape of my head and holds me there as he stares down at me "who was the one who took care of you , huh? Me. I took you fucking home from the party. I looked after you and this is how you show your gratitude?"
"You gonna undress me again without my consent?" I manage to speak through my dizziness of his scent.
His eye twitches "its a good thing i did . Otherwise i wouldn't have fucking saw the fresh scars on your thighs"
I freeze as i gulp down my nerves and he takes my silence as an offer to continue "why didn't you tell me? I told you not to do that shit again"
I push against him "why should i tell you , when i know absolutely nothing about you" he doesn't say anything as he stares down at me. He seems to be taking my features in. He trails his eyes from my nose. To my lips. And to my eyes again. He loosens his grip on my nap as he pushes a lock of hair behind my ear "if you ever. Or i mean ever estella. Feel the urge to do that shit again. You call me. I don't care if im busy or if im out saving the world or whatever. You fucking call me...understood?"i nod slowly.
He sighs as he nods and lets go of my face "good girl " he mutters an my core throbs. Not now. God.
"Does that mean you saw me in my underwear and bra?" I flush as he turns his attention to me.
He smirks "didn't know lilac was your favorite colour fox" he teases and i groan "shut up"
I stop as i look out the window and see its morning. "Wait...did you stay the night?"
He nods as he walks to my dresser and picks up one of my underwear with his pointer finger. I march towards him as i grab it out of his hands and push close my dresser "can you stop?"
He chuckles as he takes a seat on my rocking chair "yes i stayed over"
"How...mom and dad-
"Romano came home last night when he dropped your friends at home with my sister and i asked if i could stay over in the guest room" he explains and i nod slowly.
"Where's my brother now?"
As soon as my question comes out of my mouth a ping comes from zaids phone . He checks it as he puts it in his pocket again . He says nothing as he stands up and opens my bedroom door. I watch him in confusion . He holds the door open for me "come on. I just received a text from your brother saying he's one mintue away with our food"
I dont say anything as i follow him. He walks down the stairs as i copy his movements "hey zaid? Did i...do anything when i was sleeping?"
He walks to the fruit basket as he picks up a apple and throws it into the air . Catching it effortlessly "like what?"
I shrug as i take a seat at the counter "like... did i have a nightmare?"
He looks at me as he purses his lips and shakes his head. I sigh out of relief as i nod. Right then the door opens and my brother yells "i bought icecream !" he yells and i palm my face.
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