-Zaid gonzales.
Growing up , my mama or known as "she who shall not be named" always told me . My virtuousness would be my downfall and my upbringing. It wasn't until i was the age of 6 that i understood what she meant. I remember my mama and papa bringing people over. They reeked of beer and other unknown substances. Mama would want me present in the room whilst i hid lia from the world upstairs in the cupboard. She was okay. Always. Her bunny show she always loved kept her company. Sometimes i would ask mama "who are these people?' Being the naive younger me thought they were good people. She would slap me upside the head while she told me to go "fetch a beer" . Being complaint i always did what she said . And papa sat back and chuckled as he rubbed his disgusting belly. Call me stupid for feeling proud when mama patted my head after giving her a beer.
But some part of me knew. It wasn't my fault. I was six. My brain was developing to the things that was happening around me. The fucked up things. The friends that they had ordered me around and used my small body as if i was some slave to them. They were sometimes oblivious to my presence. All except for one. I can still smell his alcohol breath that makes my stomach churn and his rough hands that manhandled me. His attention always snapped to me . And a disgusting smug grin took over his face. As he molested my body with his dark eyes. Stopping right at my sacred part. I would always find it silly that he'd always look at me. And it my six year old mind , my thoughts immediately jumbled up into a source . The source being "maybe he just wants to be my friend"
His crooked teeth , bald head and huge frame. I knew my facts at the age of 6. Yellow eyes meant he had been snuggling drugs into his body like doctors do , to sedate patients. Except this time it wasn't for anything good.
None of them dared to go up to the rooms . It was always to the bathroom and and back. Call it sixth sense but i felt it. I felt it deep in my frail bones that something would happen that day. I was doing the usual. While mama and papa and their friends sat infront of a tv with beer everywhere and in their hands. Some white substance that i found out by the help of google was cocaine. Sometimes in was empty needles they injected into their bloodstream. Papa would catch me looking at it from time to time and always asked me if i wanted to take a hit.
I declined obviously. I kept an eye on all of them. Making sure they never leave my sight and go up to any of the rooms. It was for my own sanity and lias. It wasn't until i heard mama tell papa in hushed words. But being so close to them and going unnoticed made me heard every single word .
"Richards taking long hm?" My papa brushed her off and said "he's probably taking a shit upstairs in the bathroom" that made my ears perk up . And i stood up without hesitation as i grabbed one of the needles mama and papa always leave around. I ran up the stairs in my small legs and when i ran to the bathroom. I was panting. My blood ran cold. The bathroom was empty. Door creaked open with the tap leaking second by second. I slowly turned to my room in slow steps as i soon heard the sounds of the show lia always watched. I let out a breath of relief as i turned around.
A whimper stopped me in my tracks. And i was coming up with all the worse case scenarios . I ran to my door and pushed it open. The sight infront of me would haunt me forever. In my dreams and out of it. The phone i handed to lia layed on the floor as the sounds of the show filled my ear drums. My cupboard was wrecked like someone punched through it. It all happened so slow. My lia. My baby sister. She was fucking 3.
Her tiny dress was bunched up at her waist as his disgusting hand cupped her through her underwear. Her legs kicking back and forth. Her pigtails loose as he held his other huge hand across her mouth stopping every cry for help. I wanted to fucking kill him. I wanted blood. I craved for it. I was six . And the first thought that ran through my mind was retribution. It seemed like i was stuck in a trance as my little sisters once blue eyes filled with tears. He chuckled at her whimpers and i saw the buldge in his pants grow big with every fight she made. It all happened so fast. The next i was standing at the door and the next i ran to him and jammed the needle into his neck and pushed down. Every cell in my body was on fire. The man stiffened and slowly turned to me . The once smirk he held was no longer as i watched him push me out of the way and fall to his knees.
I watched those dark eyes that watched me roll to the back of his head. The same hands he destroyed innocence with wrapped around his throat. And the fucking same smirk he held onto his face was no longer as he choked and white substances slowly started drooling out of his mouth. I didn't wait to see what happen as i ran to my sister. With shaking hands i put her dress back in place as her small little cries and sniffles filled the room. I fixed her pigtails as tears of my own ran down my face.
"Z-za" she croaked in her small little voice my nickname. I hugged her to my chest . Away from the bad guy when she hiccupped "i...i just wanted to watch mr bunny...and h-he came in room and he grab me" i nodded as she cried in her small voice not properly forming any sentences "im sorry bella , the bad guy wont hurt you again"
We were so in our own world , that once we heard mama shriek and fathers voice boom in the room "what the fuck did you do , boy !" Right there and then. I knew. I had convicted murder. For protecting my sister. My only last redemption to this fucked up life. And that night mama and papa managed to hide the body somewhere and dug him a grave. Soon after they came back. They grabbed me and put me on my knees and mama made my sister watch as papa took out his whip and whipped me like i was some slave. Her cries and the shearing hot pain that came with the whips were the only things i cried for that night. I watched my little bellas pained reaction as father came down with merciful hits and never stopped until i felt myself pass out to the pain. The next morning i woke up cuddled next to my sister as she sniffed in her sleep. I vowed that day. If i would go back in time i would do it again. I would kill him all over again. I killed him for touching my sister. For touching probably all the other kids he kept his sights on. I killed him for taking away my humanity.
I never wanted to see my sisters pained expression again. It was engraved into my head . As the hits went on since i was six , the scars started adding up. I made sure my sister wasn't present in any of those moments.
I had hoped i wouldn't see that small little girls face again. Who was helpless. Whimpering , kicking and screaming again. But that all changed. When i saw some drunk fucker putting his hands on her waist. Suddenly i was back in time 12 years ago. Her same happy eyes turned scared. As her body started pushing at him. I watched april and rory try their bests to push him away. That didn't work. He kept on coming back even when rory reared her fist back and punched him. He still came back. They never learn ! Right now? He was just a walking dead man. And the same time i left the conversation i had with estella. My eyes darkened and soon my beast came out. I wasn't there anymore. I was somewhere else. And all i wanted was the taste of blood on my fists. At the same time im walking towards them . Romano comes from the otherside with miguel at his side. Miguel soon leaves and heads to bar . Took them long enough. He sees my crazed expression and i give him a look to say "don't fucking interfere" and he gives me a nod and a look that says "i got you". I ignore the little voice thats calling my name somewhere as i push my big frame through the sea of bodies.
I watched my sister and her friends relieved expressions when they saw romano. But the look that my sister held didn't go away. I was marching straight for the kill. Romano shoved his shoulder and the guy slurred some words and grabbed my sisters arm and then the dam broke. Everything I've held in for so long broke.
And before i know it im infront of the guy as i rear my arm back with all my strength and jam it straight into his nose. The sound of a crack relieves the tension in my my bones as a sadistic smirk takes over. I dont stop there. I dont stop when i hear lias cries or when romano holds her shoulders back. The sound of the partys music ringing out while everyone screams. And im transported back to the scene 12 years ago. Her being held back and crying while i was being whipped. But this time im not on the recieving end. Im giving. I dont know how long i punch him for . But i keep on punching him until his flesh is coated on my knuckles. The little voice grows stronger as it screams my name. I dont stop . I punch him until he's unrecognizable. What seems like forever stops. My punching comes to a halt as the fuckers chest rises up and down trying to breath through all the blood coating his stupid face. All the sounds come tumbling back as a hush whisper makes the smirk on my face vanish .
I snap my head in the direction of the voice. But im too late. Estellas small frame falls to the floor with a small thump as fucking fear makes my heart almost fall out of my chest. I stand up as i run to her direction "estella !" I yell as i feel her pulse. Oh fuck. Oh thank fucking fuck. Its there. Romano comes into place as a frantic look takes over his features "what happened ! Is she okay. " he bends down as he pushes her hair out of her face "estella , are you okay sorella . Can you hear me !" He all but yells. And i touch his shoulder "shes okay. She just passed out" he nods with a sigh of relief. My sister comes running to me as i quickly stand up but she flinches back into april . She steadies her as a look of pain slices through me. No lia. You can't be scared of me. I did it for you bella. I made all the bad guys go away. She sniffles as she hides in aprils shoulder and my eyes soften "lia..." i start to say and she shakes her head. April gives me a soft smile "is it okay if i take her back home with me? My moms home. She won't mind" i nod slowly as i give her a thank you smile. Miguel slowly comes back with drinks in his hands. He looks from the passed out guy on the floor and to the looks on our faces.
"I go away for one mintue...one. How the fuck did i just miss whatever just happened" he whines as aurora rolls her eyes. His eyes snap to her as he looks at her cradling her fist as a dark look takes over his face "what the fuck happened to your hand aurora" he snaps and she sighs .
"We cant drive...i drank two shots but its-
"I'll drive you guys. Miguel will come with. I haven't been drinking " romano offers as he holds his sister bridal style in his arms. April nods without saying a word and my sister still hides her face in her chest.
Look at me lia...please. i plead in my head but she refuses. I sigh as i turn to romano "I'll take estella home. Give me your key" i tell him. He silently takes out his key as he hands it to me. The guys friends from who i punched slowly lifts him up and drags him away.
I wasn't finished. I grit my teeth as i take estellas small body in mine and hug her to my chest. They go to leave but i pull rory at her arm with my free one as i hold estellas body with my one arm.
"I owe you one. Thanks for sticking up for my sister." I whisper so only she can hear. She nods as she cradles her hand "you can make it up to me , by taking my bestfriend home and looking after her till she wakes up. I'll talk to lia. She'll come around. " i nod as i let go of her arm . I turn around and walk as everyone makes way for me. Some cowering . I dont pay attention to them as i watch estellas peaceful face. I think this is the only time she isn't scowling at anything. I walk out of the house and to my car as i place her gently in the passenger seat. Not forgetting to buckle her up. She lets out a little whimper as her forehead creases . Like shes dreaming about something. I start the ignition as i get into my own seat and start driving. Fifteen mintues later im infront of estellas house. No ones home. I know this because before i went to the party i searched for them first and came to her house. I unlock the door as the houses darkness fills everywhere. I walk up the stairs as i slowly open her bedroom door. I switch on the light as i walk to her bed. I place her softly onto the bed as her neck falls into an awkward position. I take off her boots as i kiss her feet and tuck them under the blanket.
I tuck her in as i head downstairs to grab her a glass of water. When i come back. Small whimpers come behind estellas door. And i push it open with all my force as she thrashes in bed. Throwing and kicking up her arms .
"Ash , please...i didn't...it was damien please" she whimpers and my eyebrows furrow.
Ash?
Damien?
Oh thats right. Ash is her sister. Then who the fuck is damien?
I walk towards her as i sit beside her bed. I put down the glass of water as i cup her cheek "estella" i whisper and she doesn't stop. Shes sweating . She claws my arm and blood spills out. I don't even wince at the attack. Blood oozes out as i cup both hands on each other cheeks.
"Estella , wake up !" I groan as she still fights. I sprinkle some water on her face and she doesn't bugdge.
"Come back hermosa. Its not real. Those dreams will never have you. You're mine remember? The only person who can hurt you is me. Come home fox" i whisper as i put our foreheads together and she stops fighting. Her chest rises up and down as a huge gasp comes out of her. She pushes away from me as she shakes . Her eyes frantically moving around "where is he !" she screams and i reach for her but she slaps my hands away as she shakes her head.
"Who" i whisper.
"Where is damien !" She screams as tears fall from her eyes and with that she soons slumps as she almost falls off the bed. But im too quick as i pull her up and put her in my lap. Fuck.
She passed out again. Fuck that. Who the fuck is damien? And is he ready for the taste of my fist driving through his face?
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