THE SAFE HAVEN
DAY 35 AFTER WICKED FELL
14.26 HOURS
Buck
This feeling is weird. Sleeping is a weird phenomenon to me. It's like sitting in a perpetual darkness that won't wash away. But in a way, I liked it. In fact, I loved it, I loved sleeping because of how quiet it was. I don't remember my mind ever been so quiet, even before I was infected with the Flare. It was so peaceful and so nice that I didn't really want to wake up.
I sat criss cross on the floor, everything around me dark and silent, nothing to bother me, nothing to scare or hurt me. I really don't want to wake up. And then my father was sitting across from me. He came out of nowhere, appearing out of thin air with a smile across his face. I missed him, and I've never allowed myself to sleep long enough to see anything in my dreams, much less see him. The average amount of sleep I would get in a week would be four to five hours.
"What are you doing?" My father signed to me and I sighed heavily.
"Just sitting." I told him but he shook his head.
"No." He signed. "What are you doing here."
I knew what he meant, but I thought that if I tried to play dumb then maybe he wouldn't ask me again. If I could stay in this dream world with him forever, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I tried to fight, I did, and I wanted to live, but that was before I was here. That was before how good it felt to permanently live in a world without noise and chaos. I know that was wrong and selfish, but I liked this too much to want to give it up.
"I don't want to go back." I signed to him but he laughed and shot me this smile I remembered him showing off to me every time he caught me in a lie.
"Yes you do." He told me matter-of-factly. "You do and you know it."
"No, I like it here."
"No you don't."
"Yes I-" I tried but my father took my hands in his and pressed them tightly together.
"What are you afraid of Little Soldier?" He asked me, his eyes piercing my soul.
I wanted to tell him that I am not afraid of anything. I wanted to tell him that after everything I have been through, there isn't a single thing I'm afraid of. But I guess that would be a lie and he would know it. I was always a good liar, I mean, I fooled WICKED for years into thinking I was on their side when I was really their most wanted assassin. But my father was not WICKED, he was my father, the man who raised me, he knew everything about me. He would know if I lied.
I wish I wasn't afraid of anything.
But I don't think that's possible.
"I'm afraid that when I wake up..." I told him. "Everything will be different."
"Everything will be." My father told me which didn't ease me. "But that's the way things are."
"But Dad..."
"Yes?"
"I've spent so long being the Scorch Reaper." I told him, meeting his eyes. "I don't think I know how to be anything else."
"Now that's the beauty of life Fray." He told me with a soft smile. "You aren't supposed to know how to live, you just have to do it."
"I don't like it." I told him and he laughed, resting his forehead against mine.
"It's alright." He signed to me. "No one likes the unknown, but there are people waiting for you to wake up."
"I know."
"Then wake up Little Soldier." He signed to me, lifting my head back up. "Wake up."
***
My eyes slam open quickly, air filling my lungs as I gasped back to life after being out for so long. My body aches, my eyelids are still heavy, but I felt human again which was a nice turn from what I was like the last time I was conscious. My head was sunken into a fluffy pillow and my body was laid flat across a dirty old cot. My head was clear, but there was a dull ache that pulsed across my temples.
I leant my body into an upright position, a thin blanket that once covered my body falling down to the floor as I did so. I was a little confused to find that there was no hair over my shoulders where there normally would be and I lifted my hand up to run it across my head. I still had a decent amount of hair, but it certainly wasn't long anymore. Not so long that it was a bob but not so short that it was a buzz. I actually kind of liked the length. I moved my legs and swung them over the side of the cot, immediately bringing in a wave of discomfort and pain to my stomach.
I was wearing an old navy blue tank top and a pair of grey sweatpants, and when I went to lift the shirt, I saw bandages wrapping around my torso. I ran my fingers over the wound that had been taken care of, sucking in a sharp breath. For a second, I almost forgot that I was stabbed and bleeding out before I fell into my deep coma. To be totally honest, I wasn't completely sure how long I was out for, but I knew it was a while.
Surrounding me was a few tables of medical supplies, nothing too fancy. The walls were held up by wooden sticks and rope, the roof made from tarp along with the door. The walls were decorated with all kinds of drawings, some of me, some were landscapes, some were desert marigolds, but all of them shared one same quality. They were all the handy work of Charlie.
The moment I got up to my feet I almost fell flat on my face if there weren't a table in the way to catch me. I winced as I brought myself back up, fixing my balance and looking around the little hut I was in. My eyes landed on an unused wooden pole that was probably meant to help build this hut.
I hobbled over, grabbing the stick and leaning all of my weight onto it, using it to help support me. I took one weak foot in front of the other, my legs wobbling as I remembered to walk again after laying down for so long. I pressed my free hand against the tarp and pulled it to the side, revealing the outside world.
The first sight that hit me was the feeling of a soft salty ocean breeze against my skin. I almost jumped back in shock from it, not expecting a feeling so wonderful. I then took a huge breath of that wind as it ran through what was left of my hair. The sun was bright in the empty blue sky as it looked over the crashing waves of the beach that took over my vision. The sounds of the water rushing across the sandy terrain filled my ears, making me want to just close my eyes and fall back asleep.
I turned to the sounds of happy voices to my left, revealing a whole new world I never thought I would see again. The stoic mountains stood tall around the land that the Safe Haven stood on. I felt my heart skip a beat just at the sight of real civilization again. There wasn't fighting or death or ruins, it was just people helping people. Laughing, smiling, building, loving. It was a world I never thought we could get back.
I took a step forward, feeling the sand press against my bare feet. I felt like I was going to throw up and I'm not entirely sure why, my stomach was just in knots. As I got closer to the giant canopies that stood tall over the groups of working people, some started to notice me. Some stopped working to stare at me, some waved, some ignored me, some didn't notice me. I didn't mind the people ignoring me, in fact, I would have preferred that.
It was so green and bright here that it could have blinded me as I walked on, my feet tripping over each other as I used the stick to balance myself. I was weak, but for the first time ever, I think I was okay with that. Whispers started going around about the Scorch Reaper finally being awake, but I was really curious about how long I had been out.
But then...
Something caught my eye.
There was a little garden farther up the hill where the grass was fresher and the soil was more fertile. From what I could tell, it was corn and tomatoes that was mainly being planted and harvested in this little area. There were three or four people working on the garden itself, and one of those people was Vince. He was talking to a boy who had his back to me, but I knew exactly who it was.
In a room full of boys who look the same...
I will always be able to find him.
Vince, who was carrying a basket of corn he had harvested, looked over the boy's shoulder, his eyes landing on mine. His eyes widened and his back straightened as he almost dropped his basket. The boy who stood in front of Vince, in his confusion, turned around to see what it was that had distracted the man.
I saw him.
And he saw me.
The boy was frozen in shock as he stared at me as if the rest of the world didn't exist anymore. It was just me and him in this endless cycle of frozen fear, neither of us knowing what to do. He tried to say something but nothing left his mouth. For a second, I think he thought he was dreaming and that if he were to blink his eyes then all of this would go away.
I tried to hold back...
But I couldn't.
So I cried.
No,
Correction,
I wailed.
The stick that I once held for balance slipped from my grip as the tears and sobs left my mouth like a weeping Banshee. My legs began to crumble, my knees slamming into the sandy hard ground and I reached my arms out like a lost toddler who had just found her mother in the supermarket. Thomas bolted as fast as I've ever seen him run while I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I had tunnel vision and he was the only thing I could see on the other side. The sound of his voice shouting my name took over my ears while I cried so hard that I thought my head was going to explode.
I don't know what triggered it, maybe it was my pent up pain, but the moment I saw him it was like I had a home again. Seeing him confirmed that I was safe and the world was whole again. Even before the Solar Flares, I never had a home, not one that I should have had anyway, but then there was Thomas. He was my home. And he was here. And I was here. And I finally felt safe enough to cry until my lungs gave out.
The air was stolen from me as I tried to say his name through my heavy sobs that racked my body. Thomas got down in front of me, slamming his body into mine and taking us both down to the ground. I wrapped my arms around him so tightly that I thought I was going to break his ribs, but he didn't care because he was too busy sobbing into my shoulder. He ran his hands through my hair and just kept repeating my name over and over again while I let out one more huge wail of relief.
Thomas basically had me cradled in his arms when he was finally able to lift his head to meet my eyes. I continued to sob into his chest while he shushed me softly, whispering that I was okay and that he was okay and that we were okay. I gripped onto him tightly and looked up to him as he smiled to me with the most beautiful smile ever known to man. I brought my hand to his cheek and he nuzzled up against it, tears streaming from his irritated eyes and down his puffy red cheeks.
"Hey honey." He laughed and I laughed with him, wondering if this was just some cruel joke God decided to play on me.
"I thought you were dead." I said between sobs but he shook his head.
"I thought you were dead." He said back to me as he leant his head down and rested his lips against mine gently.
I kissed him back with a smile on my face and tears streaming down my face, any strength I had left in me completely leaving my body. He kissed me across every part of my face, making me laugh and cry even more than I did before. He held me closer to him and just breathed me in, just as scared as I was that this wasn't real.
But it was.
It was.
***
Thomas helped to carry me over to where the others were, my main priority being to see Joey safe and happy. From what Thomas told me, they had been busying themselves all day trying to build some kind of 'Glader Village' that we would all live in. The sun was getting close to setting and a bonfire was set off in the distance where I saw them all together. I was more than happy to be away from the big crowds who would gape and whisper just at the sight of me.
Minho was fighting with Joey about something, I don't know what, but it mustn't have been anything crazy because they started laughing as Joey wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulder. Gally sat next to Charlie and watched him draw something on a pad of paper, the two of them talking about something, but I didn't care what, I just enjoyed the fact that they were talking. Newt was in deep conversation with Brenda while Fry and Jorge passed out plates of food to everyone.
The fire roared in front of them, illuminating the spread out little cloth tarp tents that sat in the shadows, flapping in the wind. Newt fed some of the wood into the fire, watching as it rose up with a roar, making Joey and Minho raise their cups into the air in some kind of solute. The others laughed at the idiots as they then proceeded to have some kind of drinking contest.
"Here." I heard Thomas say and I turned to look at him as he held two machetes out to me. "I thought you might want to get their attention."
"Where'd you get those?" I asked him as I took them into my hands.
"Ah, they were just kinda sitting in the sand." He responded with a smile. "Now go on, they've been waiting for you."
I gripped tightly to the blades, feeling their weight in my hands, looking at the sleek shine of the metal. I don't know where my scythes went, but honestly, I don't really care and it was probably better if I didn't know. I didn't need them anymore.
I didn't want them anymore.
I took a huge breath, watching the others talk to each other and laugh and smile before smiling myself. I raised the blades up and then clashed them together three times with a huge force. The others all halted and went very quiet except for Jorge and Brenda who were just confused. Gally, Charlie, Fry, and Newt all got to their feet and walked over to Joey and Minho who were looking out, trying to find where the source of the noise had come from.
"They can't see us." Thomas laughed as he and I began walking forward towards the light.
The moment the bright orange glow hit my face, the others all gasped in shock, not able to say anything as they looked back at me. Slowly though, smiles tugged on their faces as they ran towards me, a group hug taking over and suffocating me. Now, I am not a fan of huge hugs, but this one I will let slide for them more then for me.
"Holy shit!"
"Welcome back!"
"Hey babe!"
"Still my girlfriend Minho. The status hasn't changed."
"It's temporary."
"It's really not."
"Alright, guys, breathing is nice." I was able to comment and the others all scrambled away quickly, realizing that I was still weak and tired.
I nodded to them, gave them smiles, felt Charlie wrap his arms around my waist and stay there. And then I saw Joey. Sweet baby boy Joey, safe and sound in a place where no one could hurt him anymore. He smiled at me, his eyes watering a little as he did so. He looked so much like our father and it made my heart melt with joy.
"How are you feeling?" Newt asked me and I shrugged.
"I've been through worse." I said but that seemed to horrify everyone.
"Worse than turning into a Crank, stabbing yourself, dying, coming back to life, and then being in a coma for five weeks?" Brenda questioned me but again I shrugged.
"Jesus Fray, you are a moron." Jorge's voice announced and I turned to look at him standing in front of me.
"Miss me old man?" I asked, reaching out my hand and he gripped it tightly.
"Nah, I liked the peace and quiet." He remarked and I laughed, feeling my body being yanked towards his where he gripped me tight in a bear hug.
This, this life that I am currently living, this is what my father wanted for me. This happiness and tranquility was what he always wanted me to fight for, and even though I lost my way once or twice, I found it eventually. This was nice. This was perfect. But I was fucking tired.
To be honest, I could probably sleep for another five months and still be tired from the lack of sleep I've had through the years. The thing is, back in those days, I never had the option to lay my head beside someone I loved. I never got to sleep in a place that felt safe. Now that I could, now that I was given that opportunity, you can bet your ass that I'm going to fucking take it. Because fuck it, I fucking love sleep. Sleeping might be my new fucking hobby.
"Someone get her a drink!"