-Zaid gonzales.
I watch in engrossment at the girl infront of me , she sits in the chair next to me. I watch as she fidgets and plays with her fingers , scared to meet my gaze. I examine her from head to toe . I watch as she gulps and her pretty neck flexes. I look at her eyes , hazel brown , twinkling as she looks from me to her hands the entire time. Her cute little button nose she scrunches every now and then , and those lips. God those lips...
Hell i knew this girl was gorgeous under that makeup. When i was younger , my abuela made these cookies. Heaven sent i tell ya. It looked like a normal cookie from the outside , once you bit into it , it felt like you had transported to another universe . It was fucking delectable. What if i bit into her , would she also give me the happiness and joy i felt when i bit into that cookie . The sadness i felt after it being up . Or the thrill of getting caught stealing more.
She finally looks up at me with those fox eyes "Can you take off the hood?"i dont say anything , the hood to my advantage helps me stare at her without her even acknowledging, but i know she feels my piercing gaze . I watch as goosebumps appeare on her skin , she lifts her small hands up and rubs her arms up and down , making me instantly want to take off my hoodie and put it on her small body. I smirk in amusement as she tries not to meet my gaze . She opens that pretty mouth of hers "why are you staring at me? You're pretty creepy you know that , black hoodie. Doesn't talk much , oh and you smoke?"she rambles as she waves her hands in the air dramatically as her dress rides up a bit. Making my eyes snap to her luscious thighs. My lust thoughts get instantly broken down as i see new and old scars lining her thighs. Hell i knew what the fuck this was .
I clench my jaw , as i feel the need to break every single persons neck who made her want to do this to herself. I shock myself with my thoughts . This is a random girl i met . I so happen to break into her bedroom she was nothing to me , absolutely nothing.
Then why'd i wanna keep her safe and hide her from the world. I snap out of my thoughts as her rambling goes on as i still stare at her thighs "...big L buddy. one day you'll be dying of lung cancer because you wanted to be a badass by smoking a cigarette" i almost smile as she turns into a complete know it all , shes got some fire . I like that. Makes it more tempting to unravel every part of her no one has seen. Shes breathless as she tries to catch her breath from her rambling , i look at her and back at her thighs.
She freezes as she sees me staring directly at a part of her im guessing she wanted to keep hidden . I see a million thoughts racing through that pretty head of hers . Panic is in her eyes as she eventually snaps out of her haze , her hands start frantically pull down her yanked up dress , i see how her breaths start to turn more erratic as each agonizing second go by , she snaps her head up as i see her eyes turn glossy making my features soften a bit "Stop looking at me!" she says frustratedly as my hands itch to tell her to "calm down" or to tell her "its okay" but i sit there as tears fall from her eyes . She wipes them furiously as her cheeks turn flushed and her eyes red , she looks at me as she takes huge breaths
she finds her words as she croaks "please dont tell anyone" she whispers into the dark room . Like I'd tell anyone about this . I might be a jackass but i dont stoop that low. My sister dealed with the exact same thing when she was 12 , i think thats why i felt this surging anger inside of stomach. I don't say anything as she continues "...please , no one can know im like this".
Why wasn't i saying anything?i mean i dealed well with lia when she started cutting , i know what to say , what to do. I know the ropes and how to find her hope for living . It was me. I was her hope. How do i do that to a stranger?
I watch as her lip wobbles , her features creasing as she tries to hold back her tears. I clench my fists as i watch the pretty face i just met turn into a sad one . She closes her eyes , i look from her to around the room . I see wipes on her table. I don't know what possessed me but i stood up towering over her . Her eyes widen as she sees how huge i am . I smirk as her pretty mouth parts. I walk ignoring her question , asking what i was doing . I walked to the table grabbed the wipes and held it out to her
As i took my seat again. She looks at me from the wipes , contemplating if she should take it. She eventually reaches out her shaky hands as she takes it from me.
Good girl.
She pats her cheeks , i watch in astonishment as her long eyelashes flutters close at the impact of the wipes on her cheeks. "Thank you" she whispers. I look at her , nodding as i slump into my seat . I watch her out of the corner of my eye , as she looks over her shoulder at the giggles outside of her bedroom door. Making her short shoulder lenght hair fall over her neck. I bite my lip as i think about my hands fisting her hair...
Fuck , what was wrong with me?
The giggles fade away as i watch her slowly turn around and face me as she sees me staring right at her "why do you keep looking at me?" I look at her. How could i not look at her ? I was under the impression this girl never got attention from boys thats why shes so confused as to why im staring at her like its my last meal.
I was never intrigued by girls. The girls i fucked didn't have a brain and they sure as hell didn't have that smart mouth of hers. They were easy. I didn't have a type. I mostly went for the blonde bimbos with lip fillers. This girl puts them all a shame. She could wear a fucking plastic bag and I'd still want to undress her out of it and fuck her senseless.
I fold my hands into my lap, rubbing them in the process. Her attention turns to them as i watch dirty things cross through her eyes . My hands were big . I had some rings her and there and tattoos. I watch as her lips part . She sticks out her toungue licking her dry lips . Making blood rush straight to my dick . I watch as the pointy ends of her ears turn pink . She continues to look at my hands and i let her . I like that shes looking at me . Shes probably imagining every dirty scenario where my fingers are drilled deep inside of her as she cums undone . I watch as she clenches her thighs ever so lightly. The action doesn't go pass me. As i try to hold in my groan
I was right , my fox wants to be throughly fucked.
My jaw clenches as i try not to grab her small frame of that damn chair and sit her on my lap . But i know i can't do that . She's drunk , her hormones are high . She looks up at me as she sees me looking at her.
Thats right fox , i saw you.
She flushes in embarrassment as she bites her pink lip making me want to drag it out with my bare teeth . She opens her mouth to say something but i beat her to it "whats your name fox?"
My voice fills the air as she looks at me shocked. I watch as her brows furrow in the cutest and sexiest way at the nickname i had just given her . She clears her throat as she makes a thinking face . She rubs her temples clearly wasted .
Just a few more mintues until shes passed out . "Im estella romano" .
Estella.
The name suited her. Her name meant star . I watch as she leans her head on the armset of the chair as she closes her eyes . Everything is quiet. You could hear a pin drop . The only noise being the rain coming down onto the balcony roof and the music downstairs. I look at her . The veins on her neck pulsing making me grip the chair . Oh how it would feel just to bite into there . Her long eyelashes touching her cheekbones making me instantly hard at realizing how ethereal this girl looks.
"Does that take the physical pain away?" My voice rings out into the quiet air. She snaps her eyes open as she looks at me shocked that i had asked that . She closes her eyes again . As i think shes about to flip me off she speaks " it helped at first , and then i started doing it again...again...again and again. Then it sort of became part of the physical pain i was feeling , like i can't imagine life before i started cutting" she breaths. As i listen to every word she spills. I watch as she purses her lips and rolls them out again.
God , i dont believe in soulmates. Or love at first sight . But i so happen to believe that me breaking into her room tonight was bound to happen . I was bound to meet her. Know all her flaws and dig up every single little secret shes got burried under that wall she hides behind , i stare at her as she continues "If that wasn't enough , then i started to stop eating . That emotionally destroyed me inside and outside. I would purposely look at magazine covers to make me feel bad about myself. I lost many things . Sleep was one of my favorite things in the world . I love it . When i slept . Everything was gone , i dreamt of where everything was perfect , i dreamt of a life ive always craved . I just wished i didnt wake up every morning questioning my existence. Sleep soon became the enemy too. I started having sleep paralysis episodes . It would happen every night , it would happen some nights if i took the pills..." she stops talking.
No one deserved this. This girl just got bare infront of me. I think her wall finally broke letting the water break through. My heart hurt for her . Lia and she would be good friends . Lia would know what to do in this situation.
She gathered a tear that fell from her eyes. She gulped as she started speaking again "it was like everything i loved was a gateway to hurting myself. The pills were there to help me with sleeping , instead i used them to off myself plenty of time. I didn't know when food became one of the many things i was afraid off . I became so emotionally destroyed. I was tired more , my hair fell out. My cheeks were hollow and my eyes were lifeless to the point where i thought i was gonna die. This wasn't me tonight. I usually drown in the sweatpants i own and the hoodies my barrier. My hair was always a mess. This dress." She fists the dress in her hands to prove a point "and this makeup" she points to her face "Boys didnt even stop and stare. Sometimes i was i was the girls they talked about. The "shes pretty " or "I'd hit that" Everything was just a coverup to hide who i really was...broken".
She didn't even need makeup , i guaranteed if she took the shit of her face right now she'd still look gorgeous as fuck . I like that she wore sweatpants and hoodies. It was more comfy than the 6 inch heals and the mini skirts that doesn't hide the ass of the girls who wear them . Or the cake makeup they pluck their face with . She was perfect . How didn't she realise that . Her cheeks were wet as she sighed . I watched her. Feeling the need to gouge out every single persons eyes who looked at her . I clench my fists as she looks at me . Her eyes roll to the back of her head.
Its time. Shes tired.
I watch as her body slump into the chair . I watch how soundly her breaths become slower and steady . I watch how she sleeps and cling onto the dress she holds for comfort and warmth . I let her lay there for a few minutes. I looked at the time . Its been almost two hours since i left home .
I stand up and look down at her sleeping figure. I pick up her small body and hold her into my arms . I almost smile as i feel the touch of her warm soft skin. She stirs in her sleep as i carry her to the bed "shh" i coax as she falls back into slumber. She snuggles into my arms and inhales my scent making me smile softly at her .
Fucking adorable
I lay her onto her bed . Feeling instantly cold at the lost of her touch , i watch as she lays and snuggles into her pillow . I throw the comforter over her body. I look at her one last time as i start to turn around and leave , i stop short and turn back around looking at her sleeping figure . I walk to where i see one of her books laying , i tear out a page as i grab a pen on her desk , i start to write my name. I'll probably regret this in the morning .
But fuck it . I put the note on the table as my hands fall to my side. A small sound of a wrapper goes off in my pocket making me furrow my eyebrows. I put my hands in my pocket as i grab the object. A chocolate?
Must be lias. I look at her as i put the chocolate next to the note hoping she'd eat it . I smile one last time before i open the balcony doors as i jump down the vines and sprint home.
Away from my fox. For now
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