I took a deep breath. Well, that was a lot of promises. But, I'm not going to break them. And right now, I knew exactly what I needed to do.
I walked over to Otani, waving to him as I approached. He paused for a moment turning to hide his face as he wiped something off of his face, before turning to me with a bubbly smile. I paused for a moment. Did I really have what it took to do this? I could feel my face beginning to sweat. I took a deep breath, shaking my head. Yeah, I've got this.
"Hello Hirano!" Otani said, smiling at me. "Um, here give me a moment." He said. He got up, glancing around the room before picking a pillow up from one of the shelves and placing it down next to him. "Here, have a seat." I smiled, sitting down on the pillow. "I like your hair!"
"Thanks! I don't know, I just wanted to do something different." I said. I readjusted my position on the pillow.
"So, how are you?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I could be doing better." I said. I turned to face him. "Um, what about you? How have you been doing?" I asked. Otani smiled for a moment.
"I'm doing as well as I can." He replied. I stared at him silently for a moment.
"What does that mean?" I asked. He looked at me for a moment, before taking a long sigh.
"Well, do you see Kawata and Yamazaki?" He said, pointing to the two of them. I nodded. "I'm upset because they're upset. Same with Arima, Imamura, Sugai, and you." He paused for a moment. "But if everyone is upset, there's no way we can push forward. We won't get out of here." He smiled. "If I can give someone a little bit of hope, then I'll be happy." I grinned.
"You give me hope for humanity." I said. He stared at me skeptically.
"What do you mean?" He asked. I chuckled.
"Nothing..." I paused for a moment. "You're just really nice." He stared at me for a moment, before a smile appeared on his face.
"Thank you. But there are a lot of people like me." He said. "Honestly, there are a lot of nice people out there. But some of them are going through some hard times, and they close themselves off from the world. There's a little bit of good in every person, at least, that's what I believe. The great person inside of them just hasn't had a chance to shine." I stared at him for a moment, before a bright smile came across my face.
"That's... really sweet Otani." I said. He nodded, before taking a small pause.
"Hirano, there's something really important that I need to talk to you about." Otani replied.
"O- oh, what is it?" I asked. He took a deep breath, before putting his mouth to my ear.
"I found a secret room." He whispered.
"Really!? Why didn't you say anything earlier!?" I mumbled out of surprise.
"I found a little bit before the body announcement... so I couldn't really tell anyone before the class trial..." Otani replied.
"Oh crap... have you been up all night?" I asked. Otani stared at me for a moment, before nodding. "I- I'm so sorry... you must be so tired right now..." He put both his hands out, shaking them ever so slightly back and forth.
"No no! Get rid of that thought. I'm alright. I may be a bit tired, but I've lasted all night. I can last until we escape this place." Otani said. I frowned.
"Yeah... but you should try and get some rest. It can affect your mental health if you stay up to long." I replied. Otani chuckled.
"Alright Hirano. I appreciate it." Otani responded.
"Where... is the room?" I asked.
"It's up in the library. I'll show you when we get out of here." Otani said. I nodded.
"Are you... planning on telling anyone else?" I asked. Otani paused for a moment.
"I don't know. As much as I want to... I have no idea the traitor or even the mastermind is." Otani replied. He looked over at me, chuckling a bit. "Man, it would really suck if you were one of them, huh?" He laughed nervously. "Then I would've completely messed up..." He frowned. "I don't wanna let anyone down... you know?" I nodded.
"Yeah. And I promise I'm not either of them." I stared at him for a moment, as he attempted a smile. But the sadness leaked through. I frowned. "H- hey, if you need someone to trust..." I paused, taking a deep breath. I put my mouth up to his ear. Sorry Yamazaki. Otani needs this. "You can trust Imamura. I know that she's probably not the mastermind or the traitor." I said quietly. Otani stared at me for a moment.
"Oh. How do you know?" He said, whispering.
"Yamazaki and I found a card that said if no one died in three days, then whoever found the card would be tasked with killing Imamura." I replied. "I- I don't have the card though. Yamazaki has it." Otani looked at me surprised.
"Really? When did you find it? And Yamazaki knows?" Otani asked.
"I- I found it awhile ago. When we got separated at the hospital, it was hidden in a compartment in the wall. Yamazaki was there when I found it... so that's how he knows." I said. Otani stared at me.
"Why... didn't you tell us?" He asked. I shifted uncomfortably on the pillow.
"W- well..." I began. I took a deep breath. "Yamazaki said that revealing that note to everyone would make everyone panic. But... I guess that doesn't really matter now huh..." I stared at the floor. We shouldn't have hid that from everyone. But... I guess we could reveal it now. Especially since everyone knows that there's a traitor. Suddenly, I felt someone's arms wrap around me, pulling me into a warm hug.
"It's okay Hirano. I trust you. And you made a great decision." Otani said. I felt tears fall out of my eyes, as I pulled my arms around him too. After a couple of moments, we both let go. "And I'm glad you told me. I'm glad you trust me with that information. It's very brave to share anything in our situation." I smiled.
"Yeah. Thanks!" I said. After a bit more chatting, I got up and left. It was nice talking to Otani. But I also wanted to talk to the others.
Now I had two choices in front of me. Kawata and Yamazaki. I wanted to talk to both of them, but who chills I chat with first. I took a deep breath. I needed to save the most important for last. Or maybe I was just scared.
"Um, hi Kawata." I said, sitting down on the ground next to him. He nearly jumped out of his skin, his eyes going wide as he looked at me. He took a deep breath, the emotion draining from his face as he looked away.
"Hey... Hirano..." He replied. I stared at him for a moment.
"Is... everything okay? You don't seem to be yourself." I responded. He closed his eyes, pulling up his legs and stuffing his face into them, his arms resting on top. He took a long sigh.
"What do you think?" He asked. There was a small moment of silence.
"Well... I think you're not doing very well." I paused. "Hey, why didn't you hug Kajiwara if you mind me asking? It was kind of your thing you always did. I'm not gonna lie, I thought it was kind of weird for awhile, you know? But you didn't do it this time... a- and I kind of thought it was kind of weird. Is it because Kajiwara's a guy and everyone else has been..." My words started to trail off, as I looked to Kawata. It looked like he had gotten the hiccups. My eyes went wide. No, that wasn't what was going on. "Kawata... a- are you crying?"
"NO!" Kawata snapped, as he lifted up his head. His face was a bright red, tears streaming down his cheeks to his neck. He took his sleeve, and started wiping his eyes.
"I- I'm so sorry! I- I didn't mean to make you upset!" I pleaded, trying to apologize.
"D- don't apologize! I'm not crying!" Kawata denied, turning his face away. I stared at him for a moment.
"So... you're sweating from your eyes?" I asked. Kawata froze up for a moment, his eyes going wide. A small smile crawled up onto his face. I grinned, giggling a little bit. "Hey, I made you happy!" I teased. Kawata kept his small smile, but it didn't grow any wider. "Can... you tell me what's wrong?" I asked. And then, slowly, Kawata's smile became a frown.
"Hirano... just..." he paused. "... don't think about it. I'm fine." I sighed, putting a hand on Kawata's knee.
"Kawata... if you don't tell me what's wrong... it won't get better." I said.
"... I know that..." Kawata replied.
"Then... why aren't you telling me what's going on?" I asked. Kawata remained silent. "Kawata... you know, I don't think you should just-"
"Hirano." He barked, making me freeze up. "Do you really think... that I'm allowed to be upset?" He asked.
"What-" I began.
"Do you think I'm allowed to be upset? Do you really think that I can have a moment to rest?" He repeated, adding another question onto his response. I stared at him for a moment.
"... yeah. I do think you're allowed to rest, or be upset." I replied. Kawata sighed.
"Well, apparently, that doesn't matter." He responded. "I can't be upset, because I'm a police officer." Kawata's hands gripped onto his knees, as they trembled. Despite that, he kept himself collected. "Everyone is looking to me to fix this. I'm supposed to fix it." The colors drained from his face, his jaw dropping slightly. "And I haven't done anything to fix it." He blinked, his head moving slightly back and forth. "God... Yamazaki is right..." his hands gripped onto the side of his head. "I... I'm... a failure..."
"Kawata, don't say that-" I began.
"But it's true isn't it!?" He said, starting to laugh. "God, why couldn't I just fix everything!?" He kept on laughing, balling up one of his hands, as he began to hit the side of his head. "If I had done something before, everyone would be alive! Ha ha! That's it! I'm the one who killed everyone here! It's all my fault!"
"Kawata, no that's not-" I started.
"No no, think about it Hirano!" He said, cutting me off. "You see, I thought that if I didn't pester everyone with rules to help us survive, then they'd appreciate that freedom and just ignore the whole idea of murder! And then, maybe we could just escape! But I'm completely wrong! Oh I was so so wrong!" Sweat ran down his face, as the colors flushed out of his cheeks, leaving him as pale as a ghost. "And... Yamazaki was right all along. The guy who I had a horrible feeling about from the start, was absolutely right. I haven't done a damn thing! Oh, and my parents..." he started, before he took a long pause. He took a deep breath. "... actually... I probably shouldn't bother you with this stuff...".
After a moment, I realized that I had stopped breathing. I took a deep breath, putting a hand on my heart. It was racing a million miles an hour. I'd never seen Kawata act like this before. And it was hard to see him freak out to this extent.
"Hey... Hirano..." he said, breaking the silence. I stared at him, eyes wide. "I'm really sorry..."
"H- huh?" I blurted out. "U- um, for what?" I asked. He took a deep breath.
"I should've talked about this all before." He stopped for a moment, closing his eyes. "It's been hard. For everyone. And tensions have been getting to me. And I've freaked out more than once now. It's all been my fault every time, and I really don't mean to do it. It's not on purpose." He took a deep breath. "We've only got once chance to get out of here. And I don't wanna mess it up. I've already messed up before. I don't want it to happen again." I smiled at him.
"Yeah... I know that feeling." I replied, taking my glasses and beginning to clean them. "But... even if things go wrong, we can't give up. No matter what." I put the glasses back on, looking to Kawata. He was staring off into space, lost in thought. We sat in silence for a moment.
"I could sympathize with them..." Kawata said. I stared at him for a moment.
"What?" I replied
"You asked me why I embraced the killers, right?" He asked. He sighed, staring off again. "I've nearly lost my life before. Multiple times. And it is the scariest thing you can go through. Knowing your going to die, and there's nothing you can do to avoid it. I've been lucky to avoid it, but you can't imagine what it's like to be on the brink of death, and just having to live with it." He said. He looked so calm as he said it. But... I could tell he wasn't. His hands were shaking slightly, and sweat was dripping down his face. "I don't know... maybe I wanted to be useful. Maybe I just wanted to provide a little bit of comfort like you said. I'm not sure why I didn't do the same for Kajiwara. I've kind of been out of it the last couple of days." I smiled.
"Hey, it's okay. You're trying your best, you know?" I said, looking to the floor. "It can be... scary sometimes. Just, make sure to take some time to make sure you can keep going, you know?" I said, looking back to Kawata. He was staring at me, a puzzled and skeptical look on his face, as if the gears were turning in his head. "U- um... what's going on?" I asked. Kawata's eyes suddenly went wide, before he winced in pain.
"FUCK!!!" He blurted out, grabbing his head with his hands.
"H- huh!? What's going on!?" I asked. He took a deep breath.
"The headache is back..." he said. His hands tightened on his head. "I gotta go... I'm gonna talk to Otani." He got up, beginning to walk over to him.
What was even going on now? I gasped, covering my mouth. No... did he know? Crap, if he knew... who else could know? Yamazaki does, because he found my file. But... if Kawata knew now... did Yamazaki tell him? Honestly... I wouldn't blame him. I tried to kill him.
That hit me like a truck. I gagged on the idea. Why had I done that? What person in their right mind tries to kill someone else? The answer is no one. No one in their right mind tries to kill someone. Honestly, revealing someone's secret is a fair punishment for attempted murder. Actually, it wasn't fair. It was way to forgiving. And what I needed to do right now, even though it still wasn't going to solve it, was apologize.
I walked over to where Yamazaki was sitting. He seemed to be staring at something on his arm. He caught me in the corner of his eye, and quickly dropped his sleeve back down. He glared at me as I approached. I sat down next to him, Yamazaki promptly shifting away from me slightly. He stared at me skeptically.
"What the fuck do you want?" He asked.
"Oh, uh, I kind of just wanted to chat." I said. He folded his arms, glaring at me.
"Yeah, no that's not it." He replied. My eyes went wide.
"W- why would you think that?" I responded.
"Is it not obvious!?" He barked, looking as if even the act of thinking there was nothing wrong offended him. I didn't say anything. I wanted to. But... I couldn't even muster the courage to open my mouth. He rolled his eyes, shifting away from me slightly. I took a deep breath.
"Hey... why do you think Taguchi escaped from the sacrifice dome?" I asked.
"I don't know, and I don't care. It's not my responsibility to figure that out anymore, because the trial is already over." Yamazaki said. I frowned, looking away.
"Okay... there was something I wanted to talk to you about." I replied.
"Well no shit." Yamazaki responded, glaring at me.
"I'm really sorry... for trying to kill you..." I said, barley managing to get it out of my mouth. I really tried to do that. It had felt like a dream... that I couldn't wake up from. That's what I tried to do. Yamazaki rolled his eyes, seeming fed up with me. "I don't know why I even got the thought in my head. It was like... I wasn't even controlling my body." I took a deep breath. "I even tried to convince myself that it was the right thing to do. That no one would miss you if you were gone..." I sighed. "But that's not true at all. And I made a really bad mistake." I paused, realizing that tears had started welling up in my eyes. Quickly, I wiped them away. "It doesn't even matter though... because I never went through with it. It doesn't excuse it either way." I didn't make eye contact with Yamazaki. The idea of his stone cold glare scared me. "I'm such a coward huh..."
"Oh shut the fuck up." Yamazaki said. I looked at him, eyes wide. He groaned, almost as if I was a little kid who was testing his patience. I glared.
"I'm sorry, I'm just trying to be sincere and apologize. You could at least pretend like I'm making any sort of impact." I replied. He rested his thumb and pointer finger on the shaft on his nose, and closed his eyes.
"Ugh... why the fuck am I dealing with this..." he mumbled. He took a deep breath. "Listen, I really don't give a flying fuck about that. Honestly, if you'd even tried to kill me, I probably would've been able to defend myself easily." He replied. My eyes softened.
"Yeah... heh heh... I don't know why I even tried." I responded. I paused, before raising an eyebrow at him. "Wait... if you don't really care about that... why did you make such a scene at that party last night?" Yamazaki didn't reply, avoiding eye contact. I stared at him for a moment.
"Oh, and by the way, your murder plan was really fucking stupid." He said.
"What?" I blurted out, more surprised about the topic he chose instead of the insult he threw my way.
"Well..." he began, taking a deep breath. "Your hiding spot was really dumb. It's very easy for someone to get caught if the door opens up too much and hits them. And then, the hair spray idea was stupid, when your target is in fact taller AND stronger than you. Maybe if it was set to go off when the door opened, and was the correct height, then it would've been moderately useful, but it's worse since you must've been holding it. And then you really did some horrible shit by having two witnesses to your little scheme. I don't even know how you convinced Taguchi to pickpocket me in the first place, but now he knows that you are in possession of the key to my room. And then, you got Kawata to come with you into my room. Most likely under the assumption that you were looking for some proof that I trashed your room, which I did not do. But that opens yourself up to unnecessary risks, since you have TWO witnesses instead of one." He said. He paused for a moment, putting his hand on his chin, and staring off In thought. "I guess you could solve that issue by just having Taguchi as a witness... because he's a lot less reliable than a cop, and not a lot of people could defend him. But it's still not the best because he has a solid story on his side." I stared at him blankly.
"... are you giving me advice on murder?" I asked, an eyebrow raised at him.
"What? No!" He insisted. I glared at him.
"No, that's definitely what that was huh. Intentionally or not." I replied. I paused. "... and how do you know all that?" He rolled his eyes.
"I mean, I found an orange hair in my room, and it's obvious Taguchi was an accomplice-" he began.
"No, no not that." I said. "How do you know so much about these sorts of crimes?" He stared off into the distance, being silent for a moment.
"I was often hired to take photographic evidence of crime scenes. I kind of became accustomed to the ins and outs of tougher cases and easier ones." He replied.
"Oh, okay." I responded. I don't know why, but something in my gut said that wasn't correct. "... And I am sorry... even if you don't believe it." He rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, it's whatever." He said. He paused for a moment, before looking at me. "Hey, what is Imamura trying to hide?" I stared at him, eyebrow raised.
"What do you mean?" I asked. He groaned, as if it were obvious, folding his arms.
"Awhile ago, I had passed you and Imamura in the hallway, and she'd faked some stupid conversation with you. What. Is. She. Trying. To. Hide?" Yamazaki repeated. I paused, trying to think. Honestly... I didn't know either.
"Because... she doesn't trust you?" I suggested, raising my shoulders up. He glared at me. "Hey, I don't know. She didn't tell me." I said.
"Yeah, I don't believe that." Yamazaki replied. "I don't know why the fuck this is the case, but it seems like literally everyone opens up to you." I stared at him for a moment.
"... really?" I asked.
"Yeah, it's really annoying." He said. I stared off into the distance. I couldn't help but feel a grin crawl across my face, my eyes sparkling with happiness. Did people like me that much? "Are you listening to me?" I snapped backs to reality, looking back to him.
"Oh, uh." I paused. "No, sorry, I spaced out." I said. He groaned, rolling his eyes and folding his arms.
"Alright Hirano." He began, taking a deep breath. "I'm not allied with you anymore." I stared at him for a moment.
"... we were ally's?" I replied. His eyes went wide, looking at me in shock.
"What!? Of course we were! Are you joking me!?" He said. "We made an agreement!" I sighed.
"Well, we never said we were ally's. We had a small truce, but that's it." I responded. He glared at me, looking completely confused. He took a deep breath.
"You're right, we never were accorded." He said. "But that doesn't change the fact we did have an agreement. And I'm not going to be following it from this point on." I felt the air from my body be sucked out of me, my skin going cold.
"W- wait! Don't say that!" I pleaded. "Please don't tell anyone Yamazaki! I- I can't deal with that secret getting out! I'll do whatever you want, j- just, don't!" Yamazaki rolled his eyes.
"I don't really care." He said. I stopped, l slowly turning to face away, staring at the ground in shock. Suddenly, a flash of anger came over me.
"... how does this help you?" I mumbled. He raised an eyebrow.
"Excuse me?" He replied.
"How does any of this help you?" I responded, my grip tightening. I started to feel tears well up in my eyes. But I held them back. "How does acting like a massive jerk and a reclusive bitch help you do anything!?" Yamazaki's eyes went wide, most likely not expecting the sudden shift in tone and words. But quickly, he started to get angry.
"How does interacting with everyone so casually help you?" He questioned, trying to turn it back on me.
"It makes it so that I have people who I can trust! And I know I can count on! It helps me continue to work to get out of this stupid place, while making lasting connections! I'm able to grow as a person, and help others grow as well! I don't see any upsides to what you're doing! You're just being a lunatic-" I barked. Suddenly, Yamazaki slammed his fist and forearm onto the wall. I naturally shifted backwards, as Yamazaki hovered over me. I stared into Yamazaki's eyes, which were filled with frustration and lingering despair, with mine supplied with shock and a sudden panic.
"Alright listen up you little bitch." Yamazaki began, staring with an intense gaze, whispering fervently. "Firstly, you don't have any idea what I've had to go through. You barley know me, and you're acting like this is the kind of person I've been my entire life. Second, you're acting as if getting closer to others is a good thing. In my experience, that's only made it easier for people to backstab ME. And it's MUCH easier to let people go if you have no idea who the fuck they are, or had no opinion on. And third, I think you're generalizing way to fucking much. You're acting like a little saint, which I in fact know you are not. So you can shut up about my life, and take a look at your own. Does that answer your question... Hirano?" He asked. I felt my heart pounding a million miles an hour. I hadn't even realized that I was crying. I quickly realized, wiping them away as fast as I could. This felt so familiar. It was... horrifying.
"Y- yeah..." I replied. "I- I understand..." I took a deep breath.
"Good." He responded. He moved back to where he was sitting, folding his arms. Slowly, I moved back up, my hands shaking. I paused. Hadn't I said I wouldn't be afraid anymore? Right. I think I did. Maybe. Yeah. I did. Didn't I? I took a deep breath.
"... hey... Yamazaki..." I began, turning my head to try and make eye contact with him. He didn't look at me. A part of me didn't want to look at him. "I want to let you know... that having an ally is really important. Especially right now." I paused. "I- I think we should try and work this out. I know it's not really any of my business what you do... but I'd like to talk to you about things that may be bothering you." Yamazaki was becoming increasingly annoyed. I lost my breath for a moment, before regaining it and continuing. "... okay then. I'll leave you alone." I stood up, and moved a couple of steps away, stopping to look back at him. "... if you'd like to say anything... please do it now... because we're not going to be allied anymore, because of your request." Yamazaki paused, putting a hand on the back of his neck. He seemed slightly conflicted. "... and I don't know if anyone else is going to be so willing to work with you." He sat silently for a couple of seconds, still feeling the back of his neck. Then, he opened his mouth to speak.
"I'll take my chances." He said. I took a dry gulp, sweat dripping down my forehead.
"Okay... I'm sorry." I replied, walking away. I moved over to Ressa's chair, and sat down in hit, resting my face in my hands. My heart was racing a million miles an hour.
I don't know why I was panicking so much. No... I knew why. Yamazaki had dirt on me. And he could very easily turn that against me. Or was he lying? Did he actually know, or had I projected that idea onto him!? Either way, he knew something was up with me. I'd been so foolish about all of this. How much did he actually know? Was it made up? I took a deep breath. It would be okay. I didn't have time to stress about these kinds of secrets.
What was Yamazaki hiding? He had to have been, right? I don't understand why he'd avoid everyone, and push others away. And he definitely seemed conflicted about something when I had talked to him. I took a deep breath, trying to clear my mind.
I looked over to Otani and Kawata. They seemed to be having a nice chat. Both of them were smiling. So genuinely. It had been awhile since I'd last seen Kawata grin so authentically. Otani really was magical, huh?
Suddenly, a noise caught my attention. It took me a moment to realize what it was, but as soon as it hit, a giant smile crossed my face. It was the sound of a large metal object slowly descending towards us. The elevator. I nearly skipped over to where the doors had been pried open. As quickly as they could, Otani, Kawata, and Yamazaki rushed over to the elevator.
"I'm glad that Arima made it up there safely." Otani said, a bright smile on his face. Kawata paused, raising an eyebrow.
"... are we sure this is Arima? I mean... it's almost impossible to climb up an elevator shaft. Especially one of this size." Kawata commented.
"Well, we saw him climb up pretty quickly." I replied.
"Yeah... yeah... I don't know what I was thinking." Kawata said.
"Do you think everyone is okay upstairs?" Otani asked.
"Look, how about we stop asking these questions and wait for the answers. We're about to head back upstairs. We can wait a couple of fucking minutes." Yamazaki barked at Otani, just as the elevator started to be visible. It stopped in front of all of us, taking what seemed like forever to open up. Slowly, it opened.
I felt my heart stop. Arima was inside. But... he seemed absolutely terrified. His face was drained of any existing colors. There were small tears in the corners of his eyes. Everyone was silent for a couple of moments. Arima's head slowly rose up to look at us.
"..." his mouth was open as if he was about to speak, but he couldn't get the words out. He stood frozen, before finally, he started to talk. "... we're never gonna get out of here..."
"What are you talking about?" Kawata blurted out. Everyone entered the elevator.
"Arima, what's wrong?" Otani asked. Arima kept his mouth and eyes shut, as if the idea of speaking made him uncomfortable. His head was tilted towards the ground, and he was obviously in distress.
Yamazaki pressed one of the elevators buttons, the doors closing. Otani continued to try and coax Arima into talking, but he didn't respond. Yamazaki didn't seem fazed. Actually, he seemed more determined than before. I made eye contact with Kawata. He stared with a slightly disturbed, confused expression. I responded by shrugging my shoulders. What did Arima mean by "we see never going to get out of here"? It just didn't make any sense to me.
Finally, after what seemed like the longest elevator ride of my life, it finally stopped. The doors slowly began to open. My heart stopped. No, not just my heart. The whole world stopped in it's tracks. I knew what Arima meant when he said we weren't going to get out of here. I understood. But... that didn't mean that was a good thing.
Araigu's lifeless, robotic body had been ripped apart, and left scrambled and scattered around the main area.
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