A/N!!!!: I know! I know! I'm sorry. I didn't expect to actually be gone for that long but since I am back in my writing mood, I wrote this chapter to address the relationship between Melanie and Onika. It will be deep but it will also bring light to some of the things you may have missed. Writing like this has never felt so good and I want to come back to finish all the things I want to have finished before I slow down again. But, I am having a new book come out. It will be a oneshot book and the first oneshot that's coming out is called Funny Little Thing. Watch out for it! I apologize for any mistakes! Comment, Vote, and Enjoy!
𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝐷𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 22
"𝐹𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐽𝑜𝑏 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑡.
𝐺𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑎 ℎ𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑚𝑦 𝑜𝑤𝑛, 𝑚𝑦 𝑐𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒."
𝐁𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞́ 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐬
Is it lust or love? My ego and pride? I never knew what it was but when I looked at her, none of that mattered. Finding out, didn't matter. All I knew was that she was right here, and I was ready to give her anything she wanted from me. The one thing she's been asking of me...
I gave it to her.
Onika had ended up sleeping the rest of the day. Knowing I did that to her made me feel good. In control, not powerless. Everyone had took their respected littles... except lauren who stayed for her own good. Who knows where her Daddy was but they weren't here right now. It made me feel kind of good knowing Onika had at least one friend she could hang out with.
So when it reached three o'clock in the afternoon, I took some lunch out for Onika. It was about the right time because I heard the shower running as I fixed her wings and fries.
"Can I have some too Miss Bey?" Lauren says, startling me out of my own little world. I glanced at her, smiling.
"Sure, you can! I'll fix you a plate." Fixing the two Little's plates wasn't the issue. It was the constant sound of the shower that made my head itch. It was like the sound was scratching my brain but in the worst ways. Enduring it was probably the proudest I could be of myself at the moment.
When it didn't end, I grew worried. The shaking of my hands needed to stop. My eyes darted towards the stairs as that's where I knew I needed to be going but I wanted to trust Onika. I wanted to trust that she was okay in there by herself. I didn't want to invade her space. Respecting it was all that I cared about.
"Just go up there and check on her." The difference in Lauren's voice made me turn my head quickly. "She won't hate you if you do. I annoy her all the time but she still manages to be the sweetest girl I know."
She was right.
I was mean to her before anything and still, she was the sweetest girl I knew...
"Okay, I'm going," I replied softly. I shouldn't have anxiety about this but for some reason, I did. The stairs felt so long. But in a split second, I was already up the stairs and in my room. And upon entering, I saw nothing but clothes on the floor and the bathroom door open. Walking over to the bathroom, I grew nervous.
"Baby?" I called out, not sure if she was going to answer me. When I stepped inside the bathroom, Onika's silhouette was visible. "Oni, are you okay in here?"
"Yes Daddy, I'm fine! You're acting like I've never showered before!" She whined. I sighed.
"Alright alright, my fault. I just wanted to see what my baby was up to." I was about to close the door before I heard the shower door slide open. It was then, that she closed the space around us with her body clashing into mine. I instantly wrapped my arms around her and given how soaked she was, the comfort I was feeling didn't even falter. "Onika, you're we-"
"I know-" I cocked my head to the side before scoffing. "You're the one who came in here. Dry me off," she says before clapping. "Chop chop! Get to it."
I couldn't hide the smirk that was on my face as her hands caressed it."Only because I love you."
::
Whenever I was done drying Onika off, she moisturized her skin leaving it glistening for me to look at. Of course I was stealing kisses from her. It was only then did I utter a word. I shoud've been there to talk about this but only did the thought come up now.
"Last night," I begin to say...
"Last night?" She questioned before I could finish.
"Wait just let me get to it." I rubbed my palms together, trying to mask my nervousness."Did you think that was okay? Did I hurt you? I really thought-" Onika laughed, her manicured fingers touching her lips before she grabbed my hand.
"You didn't hurt me Bey. Unless I said you did, you don't have to worry," she says. I placed a kiss on her lips, feeling the nervousness leave my body.
Sitting on the bed, I ran my hands through my hair. "Your lunch is out there with Lauren if you want to go and eat with her. I was worried about you this morning." Though I've had many sexual experiences with women, I didn't want to hurt the woman I wanted to marry one day.
"Okay, I'll be out there in a second."
Before I went to the door, I kissed her cheek. "We're also going to Melanie's today. I think you guys should talk again." Before she could say anything, I as quickly out the door. I knew she would protest but I had no intentions of talking about it.
Grabbing my phone, I made a call to Daya. She picked up on the second ring.
"Wassup Bey?
I sighed. "You wanna come up to Melanie's house with me and smoke some? I need the girls to talk about some stuff just before I make the decision if they should call it quits or not." Cause if I had to make the decision, nobody was forgiving anybody. Everyone would just live their lives like it wasn't an issue. But, Onika and Melanie were friends before any of us so I guess it was only right that I put my baby up to the test to see if she could find out what Melanie's problem actually was and fix their relationship.
I wasn't going to do it for her...even though I wanted to.
"Yeah yeah! Want me to come through or you pickin' me up this time?" Daya asked, making me think.
"I'll pick you up."
"Aight, see ya B." Hanging up the phone, I turned in the direction of the kitchen to see Onika and Lauren giggling and eating their food. It was so cute to see them talking instead of fighting with each other or crying. It allowed me to just lay back and wait until they were done.
𝒪𝓃𝒾𝓀𝒶 ℳ𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒿
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙜𝙤 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙚𝙩?
I stepped out of the car looking at Melanie's front door. Everything looked the same since I had last been here and although I worried about her, she knew what she said. So, by the time I had stepped into the door, Melanie was already there seated with Ariana. If I was being honest, I was scared of what was coming next. I felt a hand on my back and saw that Beyoncé was looking down at me with a reassuring smile. So I reciprocated.
"H-Hey..." With all of the eyes watching me right now, I felt a lump in my throat form. I haven't felt this nervous in forever. "Melanie we need to talk. In private." No matter how hard it was to say, It was either a squashed friendship or a reformed one.
"You got this baby. I'll be right here if you need anything okay?" I nodded, kissing her lips before following Melanie into her room. Still the same floors, walls, and everything. She looked better. Everything about her looked better. Her pink and black hair sat neatly on her shoulders. The pretty jumpsuit she wore was the color white supporting baby blue flowers. So maybe this time I could get something out of her that would help us fix whatever was going on. Closing the door, I watched as Melanie sat on the bed.
"Y-you look pretty today," I say, trying my best to give her a convincing smile.
"Thank you Onika," She responds, a small smile forming on her face. As I stood there, it seemed like time had stopped. Everything was silent and nobody wanted to speak. So I opted to get the problem off my chest first..
"I-" She stopped me before I could let my lips run before my brain had the chance to think. I closed my mouth as I backed up and continued playing with my hands. I sighed, closing my eyes just trying to hear her out for everything. I had to... especially right now. The last time I saw her she was talking like the world was ending because I was with Beyoncé. It was clear that Melanie needed some help in that moment but I had to do what was best for me if she didn't want it.
"Before you say anything else, listen to what I have to say first." She took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts. "I never wanted to hurt you. I always wanted to protect you and with the way the girls got around at the time, I thought you were going to follow the same path. But you didn't.." I shook my head, actively listening to her words. "I let it get the best of me and I thought the only person who could protect you was me. I thought if I took you in you wouldn't see the things you saw and Beyoncé wouldn't have been that much of an influence on you. Ariana helped me see what I was doing was wrong and so i've been working on myself. I even apologized to Bey before you got here." I heard her exhale before smiling up at me. "She only wanted me to apologize to you." That was understandable since Bey probably only wanted us to talk. I know her view is that Melanie and I should talk about this and conclude our friendship before anything so that's what i'm here to do. I waited, watching to see if she would open her mouth again. She didn't which allowed me to start speaking.
"Melanie..." My thoughts seemed to have vanished when she started talking. "What you said hurt me bad and even Ariana had to leave for a bit. I know you squashed your problems with her but you can't cloud your judgement of everyone else just because you think i'm fragile. Beyoncé has been nothing but good to me and you hurt both of us trying to bring the people that assaulted her in YOUR home to her house. The same house she's redecorating because of the people you let stay here. The same people you nearly defended just because you couldn't understand the definition of rape," I ranted. It felt like I couldn't stop talking with the way my chest felt so heavy. Melanie stared at me as I huffed. Her expression began to change from neutral to frowning heavily.
"Onika-"
"Shut up. I'm talking." I took a seat next to her, giving her a cold glare. "Fuck whatever kind of life you think you live. I love you and you are my best friend but you're not going to fuck over people who have been through too much. I haven't even scratched the surface of my girlfriend's trauma and somehow every time she even gets near that room she starts twitching. So fuck you for making it about you. I guarantee you if you would've shut up and just let me have a little freedom your ass wouldn't have to 'evaluate yourself' because you would've been making smarter choices instead of keeping me in a bubble." The desperation in my voice didn't even compare to how my heart felt. I felt like I was reliving all of the pain Melanie caused me.
"I understand that! That's why i'm saying I was wrong," She says. She grabbed my hand softly before looking me in the eyes. "I miss you and I love you. I want you to say what you have to say because I didn't let you the first time." I thought it was nice how she was now 'letting me' express myself when I should've got to the first time. It shouldn't have felt like I was being punished for trying to find love.
"I feel so fucking stupid for letting myself even feel like this for what you did. Even if I forgive you for this, you will never be able to pull some shit like this again. If you do, I will beat your ass before I cut you out of my life. Do you hear me?" Once the question was out in the air, she nodded slowly. She dropped my hand as I began to stand. "I don't forgive you for turning the cold shoulder on me and Beyoncé but I do forgive you for not expressing how protective you are over me. That's all I want to say about it. I-I..." I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was letting my mouth run continuously as I ran out of air. As I started to get choked on the words leaving my soul, I let my tears fall. That's when I turned away from her.
Speechless didn't begin to describe the girl in front of me. She always knew what to say but this time, she was just a statue. I just wanted to break her down. Even feeling the embrace of someone I was supposed to be mad at, it hurt me a lot. Her grip was strong and her arms covered me entirely. I sighed into it. I hated being mad at her but even if she understood what she did and how it hurt...
I would always feel the knife in my back.
Always.
"You can be mad at me for however long you want to. I will always remember what I did was wrong and how it hurt you and Ari. Just please come and see me when you're ready."
That's what I was going to do. Just until I can get this feeling out of me. I just knew I had something hiding deep inside of me that threatened to come out when the issue was addressed. Now that it's been addressed, I don't feel any better than I should.
I was disappointed in her.
But I didn't want to hold it against her if she was truly changing from her ways.
+
When I had left Melanie's room, my tears were already gone. Beyoncé was the first one to come over to me and wrap her arms around me. I tried my best to hide the intense emotions I was feeling. She kissed my head as I continued to bury myself deeper into her. I could already feel myself slipping...
"You wanna go sit down somewhere Princess?" Beyoncé whispered against me. I only nodded, not feeling the need to say anything else. It was as she knew what I wanted before I could even say or signal it. I didn't have to walk very far before I felt my legs being lifted up. "I got you, just breathe."
My thoughts didn't feel like they were mine. It was as if the world was closing in on me and the only person I had there for me was Beyoncé. The only person that would accept me if I couldn't speak to her. If I couldn't face her. I don't understand why everything feels heavier.
"Do you wanna talk about anything baby?"
No.
I did not.
"That's alright. I'll sit here and just tell you about what I was thinking today." I glanced at her, watching as her face was forward, staring off in no particular direction.
She cleared her throat before she spoke again. "I was nervous when you and I had sex again. I know you don't like for me to think of you as fragile but when I do, I can't help but want to protect you. Which is why everything that makes me feel good can't be everything that makes you feel good." She sighs, rubbing my thighs to make me calm my breathing. "I loved the way your body felt and I loved the way you kissed me." I smiled.
"mm," I hummed. I wasn't exactly sure what I meant by that but I meant something. I felt the exact same way, inexperienced or experienced. I think she knew I was falling into that place of being mute. Unable to say anything if I wanted to. Sounds only exiting my mouth so she could know that I was hearing her. That I wanted to listen to anything she had to say.
"I love you. Seeing you hurt like this isn't good because if you get hurt..." she paused to lick her lips. "If you get hurt then I feel hurt and the way I deal with pain is different from you Onika. I wish you could rewire my brain to work like yours but you're so much smarter and you care more about the people who've hurt you and give them more chances. I run away from it all. I beat the problem before it could ever beat me. If it has me down, nobody will see it but me." My head lay on her shoulder for her own comfort. I wanted her to know I was there. Beyond everything else that happened to me. Because she mattered too. If nobody wanted to see that before, I would.
"I know I don't talk about it enough...but the way you live your life is beautiful. I'm happy to be here for you. I love understanding what makes you, you. Don't speak, we've already had a beautiful start to the day and now it's been a rough afternoon. I'm gonna start the car and we can head home."
See? I didn't have to say anything for her to understand it. Because she knew we would talk about it later. Now, I get to go home and sleep.
𝑬𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝑫𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 22
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I hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. This was really hard considering there are some areas where it will be explained later. Though Melanie and Onika's friendship is rocky right now, we get to see how Beyoncé and Onika are growing even more in their relationship. Here are some questions for you guys!🩷
How did you like the chapter?
Do you feel like Melanie should be forgiven?
How do you feel about Beyoncés anxiety?
What are your thoughts on Onika's thoughts during the chapter?
How do you feel about Beyoncés thoughts?
Who do you think made more of the valid point in the conversation, Onika or Melanie?
Should they continue to be friends?
How did you feel about Beyoncé admitting how she felt about their time together?
What are your thoughts of Onika becoming non-verbal after talking to Melanie?
Does Onika has the right to be angry at Melanie even if she's trying to fix things?
Where do you think Beyoncé stands with Melanie?
How do you feel about Lauren talking to Beyoncé about Onika?
What do you wanna see next chapter?
Until next time babies!
~Daddy 🩷