The next day, as I'm singing along to Paramore and cleaning my room, I hear a knock at the front door. Mum answers and I turn down the music and walk to my bedroom door to hear who it is.
"Erm, hi there! I'm Ben, one of Holly's friends. Is she here?"
"Oh! Hi Ben, I'm Sandra. She's upstairs, cleaning her room, hold on - Holly!" Mum shouts up the stairs. I'm still in my pjs and my hair is haphazardly piled on my head. I look a mess!
"Just a minute!" I shout down the stairs, but I hear Mum say, "just go on up dear - it's the room at the end of the hall."
Groaning and with no time to do any damage control, I quickly dash to the mirror to let down my hair and remove any make-up streaks from the night before. I hear a gentle tap on the door and see Ben walk in, looking a little worse for wear.
"Hey..." he says, awkwardly.
My heart squeezes at the sight of him, but after last night, I need him to know that I'm still pretty angry. "So, you're making house calls again, huh? What do you want?"
He takes a seat on my bed and exhales deeply. "I wanted to see if you were ok after last night. You left pretty quickly."
"Yeah, no surprises there. It was difficult to enjoy myself after the shit you pulled. What the hell was that?"
He sighs. "I've been trying to think about how to explain it, but in every way, I come across like an arsehole."
"Well, if the shoe fits..."
Ben shifts uncomfortably and clears his throat. "Fuck, this is uncomfortable... I... think I might've been a bit jealous. Not really been jealous before... didn't take it too well. So, I got drunk and had this grand idea to gate-crash your date." He keeps his eyes focused on his hands as he picks at the skin around his nails.
"But I've already told you, Pete and I are just friends."
"Yeah, but Holly... you don't get it! He's really into you. I knew it at the skate park. It's an unspoken guy rule, you were mine first. I know it sounds fucked up, and it is - but he knows he has to keep his feelings hidden. And he definitely shouldn't be taking you out on dates!"
"It wasn't a date!"
"Not to you, maybe, but it was to him."
I lean against my desk and exhale. "But you don't do girlfriends... so, what? I'm just stuck here, unable to meet someone else or move on? No way!"
Ben begins to trace his finger around the stars on my duvet cover. "I didn't do girlfriends... but, maybe, I could try." I look over at him, stunned by his words but unsure what to say.
"Just give me a chance... don't give up on me yet," He pleads, lifting his eyes to look at me.
As we sit in silence, my mum's Sheffield drawl pulls me out of my thoughts.
"Holly! Just brewed some fresh coffee, would you and your friend like some?"
I look over to Ben, who is nodding with a desperate expression on his face. That hangover must be kicking in big time.
"Please! We'll be down in a minute." I shout back.
"After we've had coffee, I'm taking you out." He says, standing to his feet.
"What? Where?" I ask, unsure whether I should join him.
"You'll see." he says, plodding his way down the stairs.
In the kitchen, he's the perfect gentleman to my mum and I can tell she's charmed by him already.
"Wow, Sandra. This coffee is delicious - what's the secret?"
She blushes. Actually blushes! "No secret - just good coffee beans."
"Well, it's fantastic!" he says, and I roll my eyes.
"Erm... mum? Ben and I might head out in a bit, hope that's ok?"
"Of course, sweetheart, where are you off to?"
Ben smiles, "It's, erm... a surprise, Sandra." Her eyes light up as she looks between Ben and me.
"A surprise? How lovely! Is that for Holly's birthday?"
Ben looks at me, momentarily confused before the realisation sinks in. With my birth only a couple of weeks before Christmas, my parents thought it would "cute" to name me Holly. As a kid, a birthday so close to Christmas was annoying, but now I kind of like it.
Ben smiles at my mum. "Sure is." I roll my eyes again and, taking my cup of coffee with me, make a beeline towards the stairs.
"My dad's watching match highlights in the living room if you fancy it?" I mention.
Ben smiles and nods at me. Let's see if Sandra lets him out of her grip, I think to myself.
Finding an outfit when you don't know where you're going is hard. Especially when you're going with the guy you've been lusting after. I decide that comfort is best and go for black skinny jeans, black and white striped jumper, and black biker boots. I leave my hair down but take a hairband, just in case. After lining my eyes, I add some lip balm, grab my winter cape, and head downstairs.
Entering the living room, I find my dad and Ben talking animatedly about football, already seeming very relaxed in each other's company.
"Ready when you are" I say, brightly.
Ben nods and stands. "Nice to chat to you, John." he says, extending his hand out to shake my dad's.
"Yes mate, nice to meet you. Take care of that one, won't you?" He says, nodding in my direction.
"I will."
We say goodbye to mum and make our way to his car.
"It's freezing!" I say as I close the door.
"I'll put the heating on... or you could wear my scarf?" I remember back to our time at the park when he offered me his West Ham scarf.
"Not gonna happen!" I giggle.
"Suit yourself!" He says, starting up the car and turning on the heating.
"So, where are we going?" I ask again.
"It's a surprise! Why didn't you tell me it's your birthday? Now I feel like an even BIGGER prick for how I acted yesterday!"
"It's not until tomorrow, and you SHOULD feel like a prick!" I exclaim.
"To make it up to you, why don't I let you connect your phone again so you can play us some of that shit you call music?" He smirks and glances in my direction. I gently thump him on the arm in mock offence and pull my phone out to shuffle songs.
After his complaints about Harry Styles, Paramore and Fall Out Boy, we land on The Kid Laroi 'Without you', and we both sing along. As the song finishes, I look out the window and gasp.
"We're in London?" I ask, shocked. Ben chuckles.
"We sure are."
"Where are we going?"
"There's a Christmas Market here on the South Bank. It doesn't get as busy as Hyde Park, so I thought we could have a walk around?" I squeak and smile with joy as we drive over Westminster Bridge.
We park near the Royal Festival Hall and take a short stroll to South Bank. The Christmas market has a German theme to it, with small festive stalls touting adorable Christmas trinkets, festive bratwursts and strawberry beer.
Passing each stall, I stop at each one to admire their offerings and catch Ben watching with a smile.
"What?" I ask, bewildered.
"Nothing. I just enjoy seeing how fascinated you are by everything."
I blush. He takes my hand in his and a rush of electricity shoots through me. After strolling the stalls, he buys us each a strawberry beer and we sit on a bench overlooking the Thames.
"Thank you for bringing me here." I say, sipping on the cold, sweet liquid.
"You're welcome - happy early birthday."
I smile and keep looking out at the beautiful view as the sun begins to set.
"I told Leila everything last night." I admit.
"I'm sure she thinks I'm a dick," he says, taking a gulp of his beer.
"She told me I needed to think about what I want."
"Oh, yeah? And what do you want, Holly?"
"Honestly?" I ask and he nods.
I think for a moment before answering. "You."
I can feel his eyes burning into me and as I turn to meet his gaze, I see relief wash over his face. He pulls me into him, and the familiar scent of lemon and tobacco overwhelms me.
"I feel happy when I'm with you," he says sweetly, kissing the top of my head.
After sitting in comfortable silence for a few moments, Ben puts down his beer and turns my face gently towards his. Slowly, he brings his lips to mine, and I melt into his embrace. As our tongues meet, he cups my cheeks with his hands, and I moan for more.
"I've never felt like this before." He whispers to my lips. I nod, feeling the same way.
We continue to finish our beers and walk our way down to the skate park. We stand watching them perform their tricks and Ben does his best to explain the art form to me. My thoughts flick back to the time I watched him on Pete's board.
"I remember how good you were at the park" I say to him, leaning on the railings.
"I'm not very good, but I enjoy it."
"I thought you were great - I couldn't stop staring." I share.
"Oh really? Does that do it for you?!"
I giggle. "Oh, you have no idea..."
His eyebrows raise at my admission.
"Good to know..." he says, as we walk on.
By the time we've reached the end of the market and turned back around, it's officially dark and we agree to make our way back to the car.
"Do you... want to come back to mine for a bit?" He asks, a little nervously.
"Sure." We smile at each other, and he once again lets me take control of the music.
"What. The. Fuck. Is this Holly?!" He says, eyes widening at my song choice.
"What? This is My Chemical Romance... they're awesome."
"Yeah, well... we need to redefine that word for you." He says, jokingly.
I gently slap his arm and he laughs loudly before taking his hand off the gear stick and squeezing my thigh.
The traffic is relatively easy, and we make it back to Ben's within the hour. Walking up the path to his house, I notice the lights are all out.
"Mum's working late" he explains, as if reading my thoughts. I nod and follow behind him.
He opens the door and flicks on the lights. His house is open plan, with kitchen, dining and living room visible. The stairs punctuate the space between the living and kitchen spaces. As I follow him to the kitchen, I see some pictures of Ben as a child.
"Aww... so cute!" I chuckle. He rolls his eyes at me and continues on.
"Can I get you a drink?"
"Sure - whatever you're having."
He pulls out two small glasses and puts ice in them before walking over to a glass cabinet. Taking out a bottle of scotch, he fills each glass more than halfway with the caramel liquid. When he hands a glass to me, I thank him and take a sip. The liquor burns, but the taste is deep and delicious.
"Do you fancy a cigarette?" He asks, walking towards the back door. I nod and follow him out. He flicks on a switch and the garden shimmers with dozens of fairy lights. It's beautiful. As we sit outside and smoke, Ben grabs my legs and lays them over his.
"So, Mr Sutton, what's next?" I ask, and he looks a little confused.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, where do we go from here?"
He starts rubbing my legs and I can see him trying to pose a response. "I don't know yet."
I nod but can't help but feel a little deflated. Today has been another perfect moment, but once again, there's no real resolution to what it all means, or whether it's building toward something. I can't tell him this, but I need to know that we're moving in some sort of direction.
He lowers my feet and I stub out my cigarette. He stands holding the door open for me and as I walk back into the house, he grabs me and gently presses me against the wall. His kiss is hungry and exploring, and I find myself weak to him. His hands begin to move from my hips, to under my shirt and I gasp at his cold fingers against my skin. He cups my breasts through my bra, and I moan into him as he squeezes gently.
I tangle my hands in his hair, pulling on it slightly as we kiss. His groaning lets me know that he likes it. I rake my hands down his body and under his t-shirt, exploring the broadness of his hard chest. He pulls away and leads me by the hand to his bedroom. My lips sore and swollen, I follow behind him in silence. My stomach is roiling as we approach his room. He lightly pushes me onto the bed and brings his whole weight on top of me, supported by his strong arms. I lean up to pull his t-shirt off and he rises to remove it. I can't help but stare at his chest in the barely lit room, littered with random tattoos and what look to be a few scars. His eyes watch me as I gaze at him, and my heart is racing. He smiles before pulling me into another long, languid kiss and I can feel his length pressing into me.
I pull my shirt off and he kisses my shoulders and collarbone, whilst freeing my bra with his hands. The clasps break free, and he brings his lips down to suck on my nipples.
I moan as he whirls his tongue over each one, before he lays me back onto the bed and kisses down my stomach. When he reaches my jeans, he looks to me for approval. I nod and my stomach clenches as he opens and slides them away from my body. He looks me up and down and breathes, "you're beautiful."
Leaning in for more sensual kisses, I feel his hand wandering down the front of my panties. I take a sharp intake of breath and he stops, unsure.
"Don't stop" I plead.
He smiles and gently runs his finger over me. The sensation makes my knees tighten and he smirks as he slides them down and back over the sensitive spot. He gently circles the tip of his finger over me, and I can feel the wetness pooling.
Overwhelmed by need, I take my hand and gently run it over his length, through the trousers. He groans, and I start to unbutton his flies. He stops momentarily to remove his jeans, now only a thin layer of underwear separating us.
He kisses me one last time before licking and kissing down my stomach. When he reaches my panties, he slowly pulls them down and spreads my legs apart.
His tongue begins to explore my most intimate area and I instinctively palm at his hair. He moans into me and I feel the heat rising in my cheeks and an overwhelming sensation taking over me. I call out his name and as I come undone, he continues to kiss around me. Bringing himself to my eye level, I can feel him pressing against me and I can't help but want more.
"That. Was..." I breathe deeply.
He smiles and kisses the tip of my nose. I push him onto the bed and flip myself on top of him. He gasps, taken back by my sudden control and I kiss my way down his body.
He groans as I remove his boxers and place his full length into my mouth. Unsure what I'm really doing, I go slowly, inhaling him to the back of my throat. His tensing and moaning let me know what he's enjoying and soon, he gently pulls me away.
"Easy tiger, I almost came."
I smile and bring myself back to lay beside him. I'm still aching with need.
"Do you have a condom?" I ask sheepishly. His eyes widen.
"Are you sure you want to?" He asks, seemingly nervous. I nod.
He sits up and opens his bedside table to reveal a few sealed packets. My heart sinks slightly as I imagine the other girls he's brought here, but I shake it out of my head.
Catching my reaction, he stops rolling it and says, "We don't have to - if you're not ready?"
I nod my head. "I'm ready."
He continues to roll on the condom, and I lay back down on the bed. He brings himself on top of me and we kiss passionately as he gently strokes my sensitive area with his tip. As he slides his way inside, the pain and pleasure swirl together and I suck in my breath. "I'll go slow," he says, and I nod.
Soon, the pain lessens and is replaced by the deepening pleasure of him inside me. As he kisses and gently thrusts, he runs his finger over me, sending electricity throughout my body. As he lightly increases speed, I feel the tensing behind my stomach, and I sink my nails into his back as I breathe his name. Moments later he groans and spills into the condom.
Satisfied and breathless, he rolls off of me and takes me into his arms.
"Are you ok?" He says, placing a kiss on my forehead. I nod and he squeezes me gently.
I wake a while later, having fallen asleep in his arms. He looks so peaceful, and I gently remove myself from his grip to get out of bed. It's midnight, and I need to get back home.
"Heyyy..." he says, croakily. "Come back to bed."
"I have to go home" I whisper, pulling my panties back on. He groans and rolls himself over before sitting up. He rubs his eyes and says, "I'll drive you."
"No, it's fine. I'll get a cab."
"No, you won't. I promised your old man I'd look after you."
I smile. "Ok. Thank you."
He throws on his t-shirt and jeans and sleepily makes his way down the stairs with me in tow.
"I had a great time today. Thank you." He says, stopping to kiss me. It starts slowly and as it becomes more heated, he groans into my mouth, "I can't get enough of you."
I smile and lick his lips. "Stop, or I'll take you back upstairs!" he growls, and I giggle. He groans and rearranges himself before opening the front door.
The drive home is quiet, and I turn on the radio to keep him awake. He hums the classic rock song and I smile. We arrive at mine within minutes, and he keeps the ignition running.
"Thank you" I say, turning to get out of the car.
"Not so fast" he says pulling me back into him. He kisses me deeply and when we part, I feel drunk on them.
"Fuck, Holly... you have no idea what you do to me."
I smile and exit the car. When I reach the door, I turn to wave, and he drives away. Quietly, I make my way into my room and pull my phone out of my bag to see a message from Pete:
Hey Holly, are you free? We need to talk x
I'm guessing he wants to discuss what happened last night. I promise myself to message him in the morning. Feeling sweaty and a little sore from the evenings antics, I take a quick shower. After towel drying my hair, I shove on some fresh pjs and slide into bed. As I close my eyes, my phone lights up and I look over to see a message from Ben.
Night beautiful x
I smile and fall asleep, for the first time in ages, happy.