Hey guys! This would be the last chapter I would be posting for this week since, yeah, I gotta study (and I haven't opened one single book because of all of the requirements and shizz) and, I'm sorry to leave you with a chapter that isn't good and, tbh, it's quite crammed on...I'm sorry :(
In the last chapter, the boys have settled their things together. It's time for the GURRRLLSS to get their shit straight and, talk.
Anyway, I'll write more A/N at the end :) Here's chapter thirty-seven :D
Chapter Thirty-Seven: “I Feel Left Out Sometimes.”
- Lindsey -
Another week of school has finally started and, for me, along with that new week was kinda like a new beginning as well.
Gerard came back to school, with almost half of the student body (the decent half) sending him messages of ‘where were you?’, ‘we miss you’, and the like. He seemed genuinely happy when a group of strangers on the corridor greeted him.
We stopped walking in front of the computer laboratory when he turns around and looks at me straight in the eye.
“I love you.”
I cleared my throat and tried to suppress my giggles, “I love you, too.”
He smiles and swoops in to kiss me gently on the cheek before waving at me one last time and entered the classroom.
Some people along the corridor noticed and began to make whistling sounds and cat calls as I walked away with a ton more confidence than when I had walked along the same hallway moments previous.
It didn’t take me three minutes to walk to my own class: Gym. I hadn’t changed into my gym clothes but, as I looked in my watch, I figured that I wouldn’t have to rush.
I walked through the double door that signifies the entrance to the indoor gym before going straight to the girl’s lockers/showers and stopping in my tracks.
Chelsea Rhone was sitting on one of the benches, casually tying her shoe laces. She had heard me step in and was now looking at me as well.
“Hi, Lindsey,” she grinned before returning to the task at hand.
I waved even though she couldn’t see and replied, “hey, Chelsea,” before walking over to my locker and, pulling out the necessary things for gym.
The silence in the air was unbearable that I almost felt the need to start a conversation…but I don’t know what about.
God, I don’t want this talk to start out so fucking awkward.
“How’s Gerard?” she asks softly as my heart skips two beats.
She seemed to notice my reaction as she stuttered out quickly, “no! No, I’m just asking…curiosity, y’know?”
It seemed to me that the previous Chelsea Rhone that had covered her face with books and spent her time volunteering in charity work suddenly changed a lot. Her face was clear, exposed, with her blonde hair up in a ponytail and she almost looked like one of those cheerleaders…minus the uniform, of course.
I realized I haven’t answered her question and I stuttered, “he’s fine. He’s actually genuinely happy to be back…thanks to those who gave him a warm welcome.”
I nodded my head, agreeing to my own answer.
She ‘hmm’ed and didn’t reply. I stood awkwardly near my locker door and pushed it close, the sound of metal against metal echoing along the room.
Out of curiosity, I asked, “what did…you and Gerard talk about?”
She tilted her head and, in that moment, I don’t know if she’s playing dumb or just plain confused, “huh? What are you talking about?”
I shrugged as if it wasn’t exactly important, “I went to the hospital and asked the nurse if anyone came by and visited him. The nurse mentioned your name.”
Her eyes widened all of a sudden, “oh…that? That…that was nothing, actually. I just visited, that was all.”
…with the expression you’re giving me right now, even the dumbest girl on Earth would know you’re lying.
“Come on, I won’t be mad, I swear,” I compensated instead. No use trying to get mad at her.
“We talked about the…thing…that happened. Oh God, Lindsey,” she suddenly groaned as she saw my what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about expression. “You know…that…event, come on, you can’t possibly forget!”
And, suddenly, it all clicked in my head.
“Oh my fuck, I’m so sorry. I kinda forgot,” I admitted sheepishly, scratching the back of my neck. “And…? That’s all you’ve talked about?”
She nods and returns to duck her head to tie up the other shoe lace.
This day might not be so good after all.
-
Night time. Gerard’s house. The house had looked pretty dark when I showed up on their street so…I assumed that no one was home.
And, just to clarify, I stepped to their garage just to take a peek. No cars were inside.
I ended up waiting on the sidewalk until around…now. And when I say ‘now’ I meant around 7 o’clock in the evening.
The wind was slowly getting colder and I pulled my jacket sleeves around me tighter before getting a good look at the approaching car.
It was Billie’s.
I stood up from my sitting position on the sidewalk as I waved them over. The car slowed down in front of me as its window rolled down for me to catch sight of Chelsea’s blonde hair and Billie’s surprised look.
“Lindsey? What’re you doing here?” Billie asks mildly, staring at the Way’s residence right behind me.
I shrugged, “I was hoping to see Gerard but…do you know where he is?” I asked, tilting my head slightly.
It was Chelsea who answered, “Gerard is with his brother in a friend’s house…that’s what Frank told me.”
She nodded at her own words before starting up again, “how are you gonna go home?”
I bit the inside of my cheek before shrugging again, this time avoiding their slightly intimidating (or was the word probing?) eyes.
“Get in,” came Billie’s voice before the car lock was heard and I look up from the concrete I was currently staring at.
I shake my head, “no, it’s okay, I swear…I’ll just catch a cab…or bus…I’ll see you tomorrow.”
My feet already started trodding down the sidewalk when I hear Chelsea’s voice call out, “please? I want to talk to you.”
I stopped in my tracks and turned around, meeting her sincere gaze, “you serious?”
She nods her head; I began my way to her again and wrench open the back door of Billie’s pick-up truck, getting in slowly.
“Where to?” Billie asks Chelsea as he placed his hands on the steering wheel.
“My place, please,” she smiles and, in that moment, I had realized why Billie had found her extremely attractive.
God, I must look like a pig beside her.
The car began to move slowly, quietly and, somewhere in that main road, began to pick up speed, going faster and faster until, finally it slowed down in front of a three-storey apartment building and I got out first, waiting for Chelsea to say her goodbyes to Billie.
I look away awkwardly when Billie swooped in for another kiss on Chelsea’s lips with Chelsea smiling gently and pushing him back, pointing at me from inside the not-so-darkly-tinted windows of the pick-up. I looked away awkwardly.
“Bye, Billie,” were Chelsea’s last words before she pushed the car door shut and we began the trek to her apartment.
The apartment wasn’t small, nor very large, I had noticed as soon as I stepped inside the white-walled living room. I could hear Chelsea locking the series of chains behind me before hanging her jacket on the coat rack by the door and asking me to do the same.
“Thanks,” was my simple response as she guided me to her grey couch.
“Go sit. I’ll just uhh...do you want anything? Juice, coffee, tea…?” she looked pretty awkward, unsure of what to say.
I shook my head, “erm, water’s fine, thanks.”
She smiles before disappearing through another door, leaving me by myself.
Great.
-
“So…why did you suddenly decide to bring me here?” I managed to ask after some more minutes of silence.
She shrugged, “nothing…I just…want to know you. I mean,” she cleared her throat, “I’ve never really got the chance to since…y’know. But, since you already know that something had happened between me and Gerard before…I think it’s time that we know more about each other.”
I sat there, momentarily stunned, “well…I would talk about something but…I don’t know where to start.”
She looked thoughtful for a bit before replying in that soft voice of hers, “well…let me start with: what are you feeling right now?”
And, just by those words, I felt like I’ve been shot head first into this new place where Chelsea could be Ellen and I am currently the one being interviewed.
I stopped a smile from forming onto my face, “I’m fine, I guess. Not entirely fine, I’m actually -- oh God -- this is so…ugh, I really don’t know.”
I groaned in frustration as she giggled, “just tell me the first thing that enters your mind. Don’t say everything all at once…we’re gonna get to those parts in our conversation…somehow.”
With a sigh, I managed to spit out the thought that have been lingering in my head for the past few days now, “I feel left out sometimes. Because…y’know, like, Gerard is too preoccupied with you,” that for a moment, I had thought he was going to break up with me, “and, Billie is, like, oh, I don’t know…he’s…he doesn’t really talk about what’s happening.”
She nods, “I get you…well, what do you want to talk about?”
I gulped before asking, “can I rant to you? I know we’re not close and I hope you won’t think that I’m feeling close, either, I just --.”
She nods, “of course! And, no, I’m not like that.”
“I just feel like Gerard’s replacing me, you know. Since you guys have settled what you left in the past…it seems as if we’re drifting apart,” I mutter soulfully, trying to avoid her eyes, “like, a while ago, in school. He dropped me off in front of my classroom but he didn’t show up for lunch and dismissal. I was forced to go home by myself and decided to check by Gerard’s…that’s when you guys showed up,” I recall, smiling softly.
She nods and motions for me to go on. I do, “it’s like, this -- this invisible wall suddenly sprang up out of nowhere and, sure he says that he loves me but…it doesn’t really show.”
Chelsea cleared her throat before saying, “look, Gerard’s been gone for several days…weeks, even,” she started out gently. “You have to know that…you are at the top of his list of priorities although, look, don’t think of this as being mean or something but, he’s catching up with everything he missed and, he’s in a friend’s house with Mikey, remember? He might be asking the dude to tutor him or something like that. Don’t take his absences too seriously. He might not look it but he actually cares about school,” she grins at me and, in that moment, I suddenly felt stupid.
“I’m sorry, I’m so stupid. I should have known that,” I mutter, looking down on the carpeted floor.
She smiles, “don’t worry. When he’s done, he’ll come around --.”
Her reply was interrupted with the violent ringing of my phone. I look at her apologetically before answering.
“Lindsey? Where the heck are you?!” it’s Gerard.
“Erm…I’m in Chelsea’s house right now…where were you?”
His words were curt though gentle as he replied, “I’ll pick you up. Your parents started sending me death threats, thinking I’m with you.”
I laugh, catching Chelsea’s attention, “alright…I’ll explain everything to them.”
“See you, Linds. Stay put. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
The call ended and as I placed it back in my pocket, saw Chelsea looking at me with a huge grin on her face.
“Told you he’ll come around.”
I don't know why but I have been ending some chapters so abruptly that it turns out so bad :(
I'll upload AGAIN at the end of the week...I'll miss you all <3
xo,
T.
P.S. I'm not sure if you guys would still remember but, just out of curiosity, how did you guys become a fan of My Chemical Romance? Or Green Day? Or both?